February 2, 2021 - Happy February! Next month it will be the year anniversary of lock down/Covid crap gone wild. I AM SICK OF COVID. I am sick of pandemics. I knew one would happen - it was bound to, but come one. Let's move on, shall we? UGH. I know I shouldn't complain. I have a relatively warm house, no one in said house is getting radiation, and I love my job. What else could a girl ask for? HUGGING! I COULD ASK FOR FLUFFY HUGS FROM ALL MY FRIENDS AND KIDS!  I WANT HUMAN CONTACT. Sigh.

Yesterday I dropped Norman off at the Vet at 7:30 a.m. It was neuter day. I had looked forward to this day since I can't take him to doggy daycare until he's fixed. He was SO happy to go for a ride. (A word that you must never say in front of Norman as he will go ballistic and bounce off of the walls and ruin the living room until he goes out to the car.) When we got to the Vet, I got him checked in via my phone (they don't let you in the waiting room anymore - they come out and get the animal.) When they came out, I got out and opened the hatch and he jumped out, looked at where he was, and jumped right back in. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to get him out of the back. I was sweet, made happy "come' noises, and finally I just wrapped his leash around my forearm and dragged the boy out with force.

I was going to go into work after I dropped him off and after I dropped off a urine sample to the local lab. (They found blood in my urine at my physical time. I had to wait a month and take in another one....more on that to come....) I had a 'low tire pressure alert' on my dash board AGAIN so I decided to just called the local Ford dealer and I told them what was going on. They had a 9 a.m. appointment so I took in my urine (because who wouldn't want a cup of pee from me?) and then went to the dealership. Turned out it was just a wayward nail and they fixed it right up and I was on my way. I have been having that issue for over a month and I just had to get it fixed. You can't run to U of M with the fear of a flat tire!!  I came home to finish my work day.

Norman got to come home at 2 p.m. OH MY GOODNESS! He was very dazed and confused. When we got out of the car, he went right over to see Steve and Lucy, but he was woozy and staggering. He ended up just peeing on a tree for a bit. I got him in the house. (Before we had left I had put down a new fluffy comforter on the floor for the boy to rest on when we got home.) When he came in the house, his eyes wider than wide, he went up to the comforter and peed all over it. He just peed and peed. Sigh. That went right in the washer! He was crying, too. He wouldn't have much to to with me but he did go lay by my husband's chair and go to sleep (sort of) as he whimpered constantly. By evening he was up pacing an trying to lick his wound so we put the lampshade collar on him. OH MY GOODNESS! He freaked out and backed himself into a corner and froze there for a half an hour. I couldn't stand it!! His poor face!! I took off the collar and then I spent the night making sure he didn't lick. They sent him home with a sedative and I gave him that at nine p.m., which acted like speed to Norman - who suddenly became supper awake Norman and for hours he wanted to play. I only got about 2 hours of sleep last night.

Today Norman is almost 'normal' for Norman. His eyes were back to normal. "Keep him quiet" they said. "Don't let him run around.." they said. HA! Norman was obviously feeling MUCH better. Sigh. I had ordered an inflatable collar for him yesterday since the cone scared him to death. It is a doughnut shaped gizmo that you link through their collar - it came today. That is on him now. He thought it was his harness (which means we're going for a ride) and began the spastic routine of bouncing off the walls. Took a little while for him to realize we were not leaving the house. He's done well with it so far, but I've yet to see if it actually keeps him from licking his surgery area. I really really need to sleep tonight. I hope it works and his wanker licking is in check.

So, Sandy has pee protein and blood. Not only do I have to watch my sugar and test my blood, now something is wrong further down and inside. Old age is a pain in the lower regions, literally. I go on the 23rd to get an ultrasound of my kidneys and bladder. (Plus my yearly check of the cyst on my left ovary that looks to me like a little French Barret.) I am 60. I am fat. I have had three kids. I have NO BLADDER CONTROL WHATSOEVER any more, but these test require a full bladder. I have to drink 32 ounces of water one hour before I go to the test. I will also take towels and a change of pants. This is NOT going to be pretty.

When I state medical issue here on line I am not looking for sympathy - it's because I think sharing something like this might make someone else feel better or not worry so much. It is not to complain or whine about my situation. It is what it is as the youngsters say. So many people go through times in their life where they worry and are scared and I feel it is OK to share with a friend or totally random blog about things to show it can happen and it helps one not feel so alone in the world. A therapist is also a good thing. Kudos to that profession. One must look for the positive with the negative -  with an ultrasound for the ovary they have to cram a scanner up there and it's the only action I'm getting, so I'll take what I can get. Hahahahaa.

I am drawing myself a nice hot bath and I will soak. I deserve it. (I always use a bath bomb and when Norman sees me do this he often will go get one of his balls and drop it in the tub, too. I think he thinks he's helping.) It smells divine. My BFF is going to start making bath bombs! I can't wait. (Hint Hint)

February 6, 2021 -  Burrrrrr - the wind chill is zero degrees. Norman doesn't like spending too much time out in the dog pen in this cold weather. All business. Go and come in. I don't blame him. He walks through the drifts in his pen like a high stepping horse which is cute. Sometimes he will dig into a drift, almost burying his whole head - not sure what he is looking for? When I was out with him yesterday a car went by with writing on its side that said, "Crawl space too narrow?" and I said out loud, "Well, that seems like a personal question..." Norm was confused.

His surgery spot looks pretty good considering he has been acting like a hyperactive Wallenda brother. Sigh. I cannot keep him from being the dog that he is and he's been very frustrated and at times airborne with leaps of frustration. After he heals I will start taking him to doggy day care so he can work out some of his frustration by playing with his fellow dogs. He stares over to the neighbor's houses looking for his friends but even if they were out he couldn't play with them for another week. He will survive for another week of restrictions, but I am sure if I will. When I went to the dermatologist the other day (to have some skin issues looked at) he asked me about some visible scratches and bruises on my arm. I looked at him and said, "Great Dane Puppy Damage..." 'Nuff said.

I have to go in to work soon to look at a printer that is messing up, then I will get a few groceries before I come home. I would love to be sipping on hot cocoa and reading a book instead, however Norman has eaten my books and hot cocoa has sugar so I'm screwed. (I do NOT like sugar free things - they give me a headache.) When I was at the store last week I walked past a yellow cake with chocolate butter cream frosting in their bakery and I stared at it for 10 minutes. Sigh. I walked away from that with a tear in my eye. That type of cake is my favorite. I will live, I'm sure. However, the point is that I WALKED AWAY. Good Sandy.

Norman just went our to poop, and my neighbor Ron is out using is leaf blower to clear his paths, and when he saw me he did the little "shave and a haircut, two bits" ditty on his blower. That was so cute! hahahahaha. Thank you Ron for making me laugh.

I got Ty-D-Bowl tablets (that you put in the toilet tank) that are PURPLE and are supposed to smell like lavender, but I have yet to smell that... I was so excited! PURPLE WATER! Ah, it's the little things. It reminds me of the grape koolaid that was my favorite as a kid. I am always happy to flush now just to see that gush of purple.

Have a glorious weekend. Stay warm. Don't eat yellow snow.

February 12, 2021 - Norman is full of Norman-ness and is hating not being able to play with neighbor doggies or go running. He's not pleased with me. Last night he almost shoved me out of bed and took all the covers. Sigh. He starts DOGGY DAY CARE ON MONDAY. He will get to work out some of his angst with other doggies. Depends, of course, how is stitches look come Monday. They were pretty red today. We ended up putting a scarf around his head under his blow up collar to help block him from getting down there. Norman is so long he could reach his boo boo even with the collar on. Sigh. Young male dogs are good at getting at their dinky-dos.

I had quite the pity party two nights ago! I HATE feeling 'sorry for myself' - I expressed my angst to my BFF in an email the next morning after I felt better - A night of sleep sure helps. I was upset because 1) I'm never alone 2) I have to take care of everyone, and no one takes care of me 3) I felt overwhelmed by the demands on my time. I was very very upset with my life for approximately 3 hours. Like I said - I got over it. I am the one who made my bed and I must lay/lie/hunker down in it - I have to deal with this emotion and carry on. It was touch and go there for a bit, though. Almost turned in to a full out cry session - and as my fellow females will attest - once you start one of those they go on for a while and you end up crying about EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. It isn't pretty.

I decided I have been SO GOOD not eating sugar that I was going to have one treat this weekend for Valentine's day. When I went to the store at lunch, though - NOTHING LOOKED GOOD ENOUGH. Nothing tempted me in the bakery department nor the cookie aisle. Sigh. I ended up getting a small little container of chocolate ice cream. That was the only thing that looked good enough to risk my life over. Smile. What has the world come to when Sandy can't have a bakerygasm?

Speaking of 'gasms... I mentioned this before, but will again because I'm still fascinated about the fact that when you use a QTip to get crud out of your ear, IT CAN FEEL SO GOOD. I know you are not supposed to stick anything in your ear bigger than your pinkie. I read the boxes. YOU COULD BREAK YOUR EAR DRUM, after all. However, there are times you have to 'dig' to get that crap out and boy howdy, there are times it feels wonderful to get said crap out. (Remind me that I said this when I break open an ear drum and I'm whining about the severe pain, ok?)

I ordered my husband two things for Valentine's day and the packages have arrived, but since HE'S ALWAYS THERE IN HIS CHAIR I can't wrap them or take them out of the boxes. I will just give the things to him Sunday in the boxes. HERE - HAPPY VD DAY!! It will be our 41st Valentine's day together. We got our wedding license on 2/14/80. We got married on March 1st. Lordy - honestly - I've been trying to comprehend how much time has gone by... I am glad I can't comprehend it  - I would run screaming into the woods, I'm sure.

February 13, 2021 - I just got done catching up on the news. Ugh. I miss the days where we could ignore the world and things were not shoved down our throats in real time. We read the paper the day after things happened. The ostrich head-in-the-whole behavior is not acceptable in this day and age. However, when one is bombarded with bad news constantly - that is not good, either. Plus, who do you trust? Plus, why do we let new reports work us up into a frenzy and we follow all things blindly? I suppose it is up to us as creatures with intelligence (at least some of us still possess some intelligence...) to research what we are presented and make a decision on what we read. I do so hate the 'split' feeling of our country. I hate it. Hate brings on violence. It is the never ending circle of humanity - I am actually surprised we're still here on Earth, to be honest. Sigh. We all should have been consumed by alligators a long time ago...We may have way more modern conveniences than a cave man, but we've not evolved past that mentality.

It is Saturday and I got up early to help with a third-shifter at work who was having issues on his PC. Took about an hour, but I got him all set up. I am pondering going back to bed. Why stay awake? I could clean, of course. This crappy old house collects dust like I collect calories. There is an air filter near my husband to help keep the debris down where he sets. The filters get so DIRTY. I am slightly embarrassed as a wife that I can't keep on top of the dust that invades our house. Donna Reed I am not...

I've had the weirdest dreams lately and I'm not sure why I've had some of them - things I've not pondered for decades keep popping into my brain. I know why I have dreamed about my Mom because her birthday was this week - she would have been 99 years old - so that makes sense to dream about people you love. The other stuff, though - not sure what drug my brain is on but I want some too...

I guess I'll go eat my breakfast and take a nap. That sounds like a plan.

February 14, 2021 - Happy Day Of Love. Norman is FULL OF LOVE. He's pinned me down a few times with his spastic self in full NORM mode, so happy I'm his person. I called out for help from my husband because I really couldn't get up with Norm all over me. He thought I was joking. I was not. I finally was able to use Norman's collar to pull myself out of the love fest. Gee, I am ever so glad I got a Great Dane.

My husband has requested scalloped potatoes for his Valentine's meal. This is very do-able and sounds very comforting. Right now he's watching the movie "Midnight Sky" with George Clooney. He loves to watch movies. I have to be in the mood to watch a movie. I have been doing other things while the movie plays.

February 16, 2021 - Well, Norman went to his first day at doggie day care. It did not go well. The big room was full of little dogs that were very hyper - chasing each other and SO MUCH BARKING. When I was trying to fill out paperwork Norm was jumping on me as if to say, "Get me out of here!" The one girl finally took him back and I left. I may have been a wee bit misty eyed. He is like a kid to me, after all, and this was his first day at 'kindergarten' as it were. It has snowed and it was very white out and me with my misty eyes followed tracks out of the place that were not real tracks...I got stuck. Insult to injury. Ugh. They brought me a shovel and the one girl helped me get my tires in place after I dug around my wheels. I eventually got out. I was cold. I had to pee.

My husband needed some stuff so I stopped at a grocery store down the road. I walked in, walked out because I had forgotten my mask. I went back in and got what I needed, but what I really needed was to PEE. I didn't see a public restroom sign anywhere. I got the few things, went back to the car, and started home.

The minute I drove in to my drive way my bladder assumed it was GOOD TO GO. Sigh. (I gave up trying to figure out my bladder many years ago. Once you pass a few kids through that area and as you get older, your bladder is a free thinker with no self control. You have no bearing or input on how your bladder thinks and I don't care how many kegels you do a day, once your bladder decides it is time to empty - BAM.) I got out of the car and came in and cleaned myself up and then cleaned up my car. Sigh. I state this not because I'm proud, but because IT HAPPENS, or will happen, to all of us.

So that was my morning yesterday. I went to get Norm about 3:30 and they walked him to the front door and he was READY TO LEAVE. The nice girl said he didn't like all the 'crazies' (meaning the smaller dogs that tried to chase him) and he was scared. She suggested I bring him on Tuesday's and Thursday's when there is more of an older crowd in the place, not ones so eager to chase. Norman loves his neighbor dog friends, but he is used to doing the chasing - he's not often chased. I can only imagine him as he was the victim of many dogs barking loudly as he cowers in a corner. Sigh. I don't have to worry about that for a bit because they noticed Norm did not have his bordatella shot, so I can't take him back until he has that and they cannot get Norm in at the vet until late next week, so - that solves a problem. BUT HE IS GOING BACK AND HE IS GOING TO LEARN TO DEAL WITH OTHER DOGS. (Besides, I already paid for 10 days of day care...)

The whole idea of getting Norm in to a day care for dogs was so that I could take my husband to U of M when he needed to go without bugging my kids. Well, I had to bug my youngest to come over and do Norm duty next Monday. He seemed willing.

Really, when you think about it, if all I have to worry about is a spontaneous combustible bladder and a wimpy ass dog, I have life pretty good.

February 20, 2021 - My husband was feeling antsy this morning. He wanted to go for a ride. I made the mistake of saying that out loud - "You want to go for a ride?" Norman became airborne and so excited. We all ended up going for a ride, of course. Norman LOVES to go for rides, but he never likes where we end up (vet, day care) so I wonder why he loves the rides so much? My pondering was answered when we went through the drive in at the pharmacy and he got several dog cookies. Hahahaha. I forgot about that. I eventually opened one of the windows and he had fun watching out the window - jowls a flappin' in the wind. (My windows are COVERED with slobber from Norm. I can't wait for warmer weather to clean them!) I ran in to a local grocery store and got a few things my husband wanted. Norman people watched with Dad. Several people talked to Norm with his head out the window. I am sure Norm felt safe being in the car and all - other wise he would have run away screaming if it was a 'new' person in our own yard.

When we got home, I took Norman out back by the burn pile. He's not run free since his neutering. He loped around in the snow drifts with joy and abandon. He was SO HAPPY to be running. He ran and ran and finally followed me back to the dog pen. He was pooped out and needed a drink.

One thing I noticed as we were driving that along the roads around our house - all the mailboxes were wide open. Some butt munches were going through at night looking in peoples mailboxes. Sigh. You'd think they'd just get a job, you know? There are many jobs to be had out there**. Has to be warmer working in a factory than driving around in frigid temperatures stealing from mailboxes. I pity them when they steal from my mailbox if I forget to check for packages... all they will get is my husband's Preparation H cream and anal suppositories or stoma accessories. (Then again, riding around all night stealing things might cause bad hemorrhoids, so glad we could help...)

There is a herd, a gang, a squad of deer that hang out around our houses at night. Norman can smell them, I think. He was just at the back door barking his fool head off. I let him out. When he does bust them eating my neighbor's tree, he will run out and chase them the length of the pen and stand watch for a long time to protect us. They are not scared of Norm of course. They just stand back there and have stare off's with him. I fear he COULD jump the fence - I mean, I know he could he he would just think about it. Hopefully he remains stupid enough not to attempt it. I would lose him as he chased them out into the woods... but once Norm realized he was lost, he would have a nervous break down and freak out and need extensive therapy. But I digress...when I was out there watching Norm be brave behind the fence, the Orion constellation was right there and I always suggest to Betelgeuse that I could, if it wanted, explode whilst I was watching it. It is getting close to going super nova and oh, what a sight that would be.

**I know I sound like an old woman harping on jobs for people 'round these parts, but THERE IS lots of jobs 'round these parts. I guess since I've worked since I was 14, I just know that you can work at a factory and have insurance and make pretty good money. Yes, it is WORK. Yes you have to be responsible. Just seems to me like a better choice than stealing from people. You don't get insurance by selling stolen Prep H tubes on Ebay...

February 22, 2021 - The trip to University of Michigan for my husband's check up went so well. The surgeon checked up and through his nose to his throat, and checked his stoma area and said he's doing darned good. "Not a smidge of cancer!" he said. The surgeon removed the last bundle of stitches that remained at the edge of where the esophagus connects to his neck. (I tried, but as you well know, it hurts more when someone other than a professional is yanking on stitches...) We spent a lot of time with the speech pathologist and she got us signed up for a program from on of major provider of things for laryngectomy patients. It will provide about 500 dollars worth of material to my husband for free to 'test' - which is a blessing. We have to provide feedback and all - but it's worth it. I believe insurance will agree to pay for some of the supplies once the 'test' is over, but it won't cover all the cost. Still, I am thankful for insurance - and for good doctors and good checkups!

February 24, 2021 - "...Exam is limited by body habitus..." That is hands down the BEST way I've ever heard someone say 'you're fat' that I've ever seen in print. I'm 60 and this is the first time I've seen it on a test. (Sorry, it's the little things...I got a kick out of it.) That would be a great name for a band! "Tonight at 8, BODY HABITUS - LIVE!!"

My tests yesterday were all normal per the test results they posted. My kidneys are much higher up than I assumed they were, though. (There are times when I meditate that I picture a major organ and talk to it, just to let them know I appreciate what they do and all but now I have NO IDEA who I was chatting up when it came to kidney location. I will look that up after work on the interweb. I bet all this time my kidneys were laughing their full store of urine off...) But I digress - since the ultrasounds show things are as normal as they get in a 60 year old woman the family doctor will now continue to pursue the protein and blood in my urine issue. It's always something. My Aunt Vera had bladder cancer, so I could shoot for that goal. The protein is most likely from the sugar issue, though. Maybe the blood is from the high impact 'love' Norman expresses constantly.

Speaking of Norman...last night he barked at a LARGE possum in the neighbor's yard for a while. Then there were the coyotes that were screaming at the train whistle that threw him for a loop. This morning it was a bunny in the neighbor's yard. It is warm for two days and nature goes wild.

February 28, 2021 - I believe this is officially about a year since the Covid scare started. So, there's that. I can't wait to get a shot. I would like to put some worry behind me. Tomorrow is also our 41st wedding Anniversary. The last 41 years have been a spastic roller coaster to say the least, but here we are - alive and everything.

I was trying to concentrate the other day here at home to finish a project (but my husband had the TV blaring and Norman was very needy) so I put on headphones and cranked up my 'work' play list and plowed through my job. I had to laugh several times when songs played from my past, because I can still hear where there used to be a 'skip' on my record from way back when...  Hahahahaha.

The red wing black birds are back and I do so enjoy their songs. They are pigs when it comes to bird food, but I LOVE to hear them sing. It makes me happy. The robins are out there being happily loud as well, and all the birdies seem to be happy with the warm weather today. It has been a lovely warm, breezy afternoon. We went for a ride and Norman got to slime up several square miles out there. My husband gets restless and wants to go for rides, so we went.

I have a table top ice maker and I am currently making ice. I've gone two days without ice. I LOVE ICE. Even if I'm freezing, I love to chomp on ice. Our water is over packed with minerals so I filter is before using it for drinking or the coffee maker and such, but it still makes THE BEST ice ever. The consistency of snow cones. This pleases me to no end. Norman considers an ice cube a very suitable substitute for an actual treat. Like Mother, Like Son, I suppose.

Friday I ran in to work to change out back up tapes. I woke up happy. I was feeling just fine. I ate breakfast. I planned on stopping at the store on the way home from work but I had to make a pit stop to the potty since I left side was suddenly burning and I had cramps. I took care of business, but en-route to the store my side hurt more so I just drove home. I sat on the toilet for a while, drew a hot bath to soak in to help with the pain, and took some Pepto Bismol. I let my back up at work know what was going on and after I soaked in the hot tub and have several bouts of dry heaving - I just went to bed. I am pretty sure by the pain that the internal wand scan had caused my lower region to rebel, since nothing has been up in that region if MANY YEARS. It felt like the area of my left ovary (but what do I know - I was 'talking' to my kidneys for years I thought only to find out they are much higher in my body than I pictured.) All I know was it was a bout of something and it hut. I got up from my long nap to get the dishwasher loaded and back down I went. Yesterday I woke up feeling totally normal. Who knows what the hell was going on... I didn't have a fever. The sad part is that no matter what is 'wrong' with you nowadays you automatically assume it is related to Covid. Sigh.

March 2, 2021 - It has been a long day. Norman went to Doggie Day Care again today. I walked in with him and he was not pleased. He started jumping on me. "Get me outta here!!" (That is what I perceive he was trying to tell me.) He knocked me up against a wall which knocked off some pictures. Sigh. The lady took him back and I left. I was hoping day two would lead to some miraculous breakthrough for Norman. It did not. He did try, she said, to play with another larger dog. "He just doesn't know how big he is..." she said. He tends to leap and slap both front paws on the ground to indicate he is in the mood to play. This intimidates the uninitiated. The other dog started growling. She suggested that Norman go socialize with larger dogs so he can learn to play. I do believe we've been in a Covid lock down of sorts and all the Great Dane gatherings have been non-existent? Maybe I've not search hard enough. I have paid for 10 days of Doggy Day Care and he will continue to go a couple of times a week. Maybe, just maybe - Norman will find a dog friend there. He has to spend most of his time in a crate, though, at this point. Sigh. I feel like a failure as a Great Dane Mom.

Yesterday I let him out (with his 10 foot leash trailing behind him) so he could play with the neighbor dogs. He did run around after Steve for a bit and he wrestled with Gertie for a while, but suddenly he just took off. He was looking for the dog on the corner who walks by with its people several times a day. He really wanted to find that dog. He just went to the corner. People were stopping on the road (thank goodness) so they could hold up traffic from both ways. He does not come to the work "COME' - a major malfunction. He finally ran back in to the front of my neighbor's yard (and my neighbor was kind enough to attempt to help me herd the beast where I could at least grab his leash) but that was only AFTER Norman decided to chase the garbage truck the drove by. Ugh. I finally got his leash and he walked very calmly back with to the house. I believe I need to work on basic commands with my monster. Sigh. I will no doubt fail. Pretty glad I got him chipped, that's for sure, because one of these days I will be getting a call from several towns over saying, "I have your dog..."

It is ALL my own fault for taking the first puppy offered to me a year ago. I am the one that posted the need for a puppy on Facebook and my friend had a dog - and BAM - I had Norman. Seriously, I love the big dork, I really do. He is just a VERY LARGE puppy and is full of life. He will mellow out like all things do as they age. Eventually I will be blogging about how Norman doesn't play anymore and just sleeps all day. For now, though, I will attempt to get him through his angst filled doggie 'teen years' best I can. Dealing with him has really increased my upper arm strength, I can tell you that much. 

March 8, 2021 - Tonight's supper is roasted broccoli and cauliflower with garlic slices and fried chicken. We had a lot of beef over the weekend. We needed a beef break. I've said before and I will say again - I LOVE THE ROASTED BROCCOLI AND CAULIFLOWER!  My goodness. Yum!! (I bet my oldest would just love it!)

I got Norman a "shock" collar. I never believed in them, but after his break out and run to the corner and in front of cars, I decided I had to for my own sanity. I took him out twice today with it on. He was very good over all, but when he didn't come when called I would set off the sound part. (He would look behind him and all over trying to figure out where the sound was coming from.) I used the vibration setting this afternoon when he wouldn't come back and was heading to the neighbors and he JUMPED and looked behind him. I will avoid the 'shock' part at all cost. I am a 60 year old woman who is out of shape and my dog is a strong 130 pound puppy. I needed help. I also ordered him a tie out and ultra strong stake as well. That way he can run in circles and bark like an idiot without leaving the yard. I love that damned dog - I would hate to have him hit by a car.

Norman is watching me eat my broccoli as I type. He wants what I eat. He cannot have what I eat. We don't give him table scraps. (He has, however, absconded with something from my plate before before and i had to pull it out of his throat.)

My husband went outside today and used the chain saw and sawed off an old, large limb from a tree. This pleases me he's moving more. He needs to! He has to come in a lot to suction out his stoma - but that is how it is going to be the rest of his life. He went out with me after work to play with Norman, too. This is a wonderful thing.

My Mom In Law would have been 96 on March 5th. I miss her 'being there' and even though we stayed away from her due to Covid and the fact we didn't want her to worry about Todd's issues, I still miss her. She was good to me right from the start. I love my husband's family, too. I adore his siblings.

My oldest niece just told me about my sister being diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. My oldest niece has been the caregiver for my sister for about 3 years now. Mainly all alone, my niece is doing this and I know how hard it was to be a full time worker and full time nurse, but I only had to do that for three months - not three years. (If I were my niece, I'd run off and change my name and move to Canada by now... She must be very very tired.) The information I read about Lewy Body Dementia states that death usually come between 5 - 7 years after onset. This has me very sad. I will attempt to go up to see my sister before she forgets me and gets too bad. She can't hold a normal conversation, but she is still fully aware of who I am at this point and laughs at what I say. 

Guess I should go feed Norman. He's bee watching my empty plate for 10 minutes now... I think the boy is hungry. I meant to mention, and maybe I have, that when I take a bath to relax I use a bath bomb. Norman is very interested in this process - he watches me toss in the 'ball' of the bomb, then will bring me his balls and put them in the water, too. This cracks me up. The other morning I found two balls in the tub where Norman and placed them. How can you not love that dog? Smile.

March 13, 2021 - Oh, my. Life - it can be so exciting. I will recap my week as I'm sure  you are all just chompin' at the bit to hear about the Life of Sandy. Hahahahaha.

Monday - I woke up. This is a good thing. Across the road in the field that day was a herd of turkeys - the males trying their darnedest to get the attention of the females. I do not know the exact mating rituals of turkeys but it looked like the male attempts were not working. There were geese over there too and sandhill cranes. It was quite the orchestra of bird sounds.

Tuesday - I woke up. Another good thing. I had to go in to work to work on a label designs so I took Norm to doggy day care. Norman HATES doggie day care but he loves going for rides, so when he saw me getting ready to go and I got out his leash, he was Mr. Ricochet Spaz Boy around the house. Once we got to doggy day care he was still all excited because he saw another dog go in. When it was our turn to go in, he jumped up on me and threw me against the wall and then went back to the door and was crying and scratching. "LET ME OUT OF HERE!!" Sigh. They finally took him back. He has to spend his time there in a crate, which makes me sad. When we went to pick him up he couldn't get in to the car FAST enough - he dragged the handler at a million miles an hour to the door and he flies in to the back of my car. It about kills me to leave him there when he acts like that.

Wednesday - Norman acted out with gusto due to his prior day. (This is me assuming he was acting out. Maybe he is genuinely plain stupid?) He was a beast on Wednesday. My dear friend Linda came over for a quick visit and he was aggressively happy to see her, but when she got up to leave Norman jumped up and WHOPPED her on the chest! Oh my goodness. She claims she's OK, but I am still offering to pay her doctor bills if needed. When we get this old, full impact from a Great Dane isn't always a good thing. When Linda left the first of the three companies I had called for quotes to take down dead trees pulled in. Norman was in his pen while I was out with the man. We were discussing the willow tree out back when suddenly THERE WAS NORMAN all over the man. Norman had flown over the 4 foot gate! The man was very nice and walked towards the pen with me and Norman to get Norm back in. Sigh. (Needless to say we have a 5 foot gate on order...) As the neighbors said - it was just a matter of time before Norman realized he could actually fly.

(Linda - I love you as much as Norman but I would never jump on you like that unless you asked me first...)

Then my husband was feeling spunky and was out picking up sticks. He had hooked the yard cart to the John Deere and was raking and picking up. On the way back to the burn pile, the mower stopped and the belt started squealing. He couldn't go forward or backwards. He came in quite irate. He asked me to call the John Deere dealer near here to get the mower in. "I am pretty sure it's the transmission..." he stated. I told him to write out exactly what he wanted me to type into the on line form for service. I submitted that on line.

Thursday - I ended up calling the place for service on the John Deere to make sure they received the on line submission and discuss the problem. They were "slammed" with business, so the soonest they can get to us is the end of April. I scheduled a pick up for the mower. My husband can't sleep when mechanical things are bugging him so he started watching mower repair videos on You Tube. The main issue is that he cannot lie on the ground flat anymore with his stoma. He has to be at a 30 degree angle or better. This frustrates him. Still, he just may try to fix the mower himself. We'll see. We have a back up mower, so it's not like we're suffering.

Friday - I had a vacation day on Friday and also woke up on Friday - another plus. I have a lot of vacation time at work due to the amount of years I have in there but I have trouble using then up. I am trying to use the up by taking every Friday off between two weeks ago until May 11th. I will still end up giving some time 'back' ....

I went to the AT&T store to get a new phone. Mine was not working properly and I use my cell phone a lot for work. I was kind of surprised when I got to the door and it was locked and a guard came and asked to see my driver's license. Once I was in I knew just what I wanted and paid for the phone and was ready to leave in less than 20 minutes but as my sales guy was doing his thing I asked about the door and the guard. He said they've been robbed at gun point (as most of the cell phone places have been lately) so that is just a precaution. I had heard of cell phone store robberies, but I didn't know it was happening during business hours!! Yikes. 

I stopped and got Norman's Flea and Tick collar on the way home and picked up some of our maintenance medicines for us. Friday was an expensive day.

Friday afternoon my friend Deb called me and told me that our local Meijer had shots and were taking calls to make an appointment. WHAT? WOOT!!  I had registered for Covid vaccines for that pharmacy and through our hospital and had not heard anything yet. I called the pharmacy. She asked if we qualified, looked us up in their registration files, and said, "We do have a few left if you can come in..." YAY! SCORE! We crated Norman and ran in to the pharmacy. We got our first shots! We received Moderna shots. They will call to confirm out next shot on 4/9, they said. I cannot tell you how much of a relief this was to my mind. It could have been a placebo shot of sugar water but I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER MENTALLY. You have to sit and wait 15 minutes before you can leave in case you die or something, but we didn't die and off we went.

My BFF called and she suggested I get training for Norm. She is ever so right. I've looked at pricing before to get a dog trainer here at our house but I will do a better search today and read reviews. Norman does need direction, that's for sure. I am no dog whisperer. I am more of a "NORMAN, GET THE F*!K DOWN" yeller.... I have to change this since my husband can't yell anymore. We have to make it so when I'm gone he can command and get respect from Norman. So, I am off to research trainers that will come to my house and work with us and the boy.

I was talking with my friend Sue and her sister and explaining about Norman's drool issue and Sue started dry heaving. This made me laugh (yes, I guess I can be cruel) so I continued to talk about it just to see her gag. Some people just can't handle stuff like that. I think being a Mom helped me over come any 'gross' issues because babies spew forth (from every orifice) all types off gross. Plus I never did like it when people treated other people poorly due to a bodily issue. We all OOZE. My neighbor's brother is the same way - he gags when he sees Norman's drool. I have decided I am going to make myself a summer outfit from dish towels to help with that. Hahahahaha. (Or at least a dish towel apron and wear it outside whenever I'm outside with Norman.)

Time to start a line of terry cloth clothing!

March 19, 2021 - I keep this blog for my own mental health. I am happy if you read it and laugh or if you shake your head wondering why I'm not in the state hospital by now... that is OK. We all have issues.

I've not been sleeping worth crap and I think if I talk it out here it may help. They were selling Suicide Awareness T Shirts at work. (My company does many T Shirt 'fund' drives - all the profits going to the cause the shirt is about. We've done several breast cancer shirts and the like.) When they announced the Suicide Awareness one, I was hesitant on buying one, but I did. I know myself and several other coworkers have been having issues dealing with Steve's suicide from last September. Work wise he was driving us all crazy so I will be honest, the fact he is not there with us as we work has actually been a relief, but he was our FRIEND. He was a dear friend. It bothers me because we all tried so hard to help him. The only thing we did not do was tape him down with duct tape and commit him. We all feel like failures. My first thought when I heard about the shirt was "what good will it do?" I was very verklempt over the whole thing. If a person is set on sending themselves to the great beyond, what can us mere humans do?

I had to stop and think it through and compare it to the T Shirt things we've done. If one person was saved from breast cancer because we had that drive - the whole drive was worth it. If one human is swayed from taking their own life, the effort is worth it. It still doesn't stop the feeling of failure of the living humans the suicide person left behind. Sigh. Since the T Shirt sales started I've been racking my brain on what we all did wrong.

We did nothing wrong. We went above and beyond to reach out to Steve. We were almost super human in our efforts. I think no matter what any one of us did it would not have saved Steve.

I've also been SO CONFUSED about all the "Help Wanted" signs all over the place. WHERE DID ALL THE PEOPLE GO? Why can't people find workers? Did they all leave the US mainland? I don't understand it - CAN'T understand it - since I've been working full time all of my life and it is something you have to do to survive. I like the insurance. I like the learning. I like THE MONEY. I like the paid vacations (when I remember to use my time.) WHY ARE THERE NO PEOPLE OUT THERE TO HIRE? This has me very perplexed. If you have an idea - email me, OK? One of the tree companies I had out to give me quotes on removing some trees said he was offering starting wages of 25 dollars an hour AND HE CAN'T FIND HELP. If I was a strong young male and you offered me 25 bucks and hours, I would so be cutting down trees. Honestly - I am very confused over this.

I had two cyst removed today at a real dermatologist. Normally my old family doctor took them out, put in a stitch, and sent me on my way. They used to say, "Take a shower - it's OK! Roll in mud, stand under a flock of birds - you'll be fine!" The dermatologist people put in internal stitches after cauterizing whatever they cauterized after taking out the cyst and put in external stitches and gave me six sheets on how to tend to my wound (No Showers! Use warm soapy water twice a day to clean the area - then apply Vasoline to keep the site moist. Don't wash your hair for a week. Don't think dirty thoughts! Don't stand under a flock of birds...) I have conflicted feelings. Smile. What a way to spend a vacation day, huh? Then I went shopping afterwards. I had ten things on my list. I came out with an overflowing cart and I won't even tell you what I spent...

I have taken every Friday off between now and May 11th to help used up vacation time. I have been there so long I get 5 weeks of vacation a year. REALLY? Who would use 5 weeks of vacation?!?  You can take one of those weeks a "pay" - but that still leaves you with four weeks. I've had this issue long before Covid - so that isn't the cause of my angst. If I could have saved up all the time I've given back, I could have retired before I was born...

I am kind of pissed a bit because I wanted to take a short nap today. I wanted to - Norman did not. He harassed my husband, almost at the cat, found the hanky I had on my desk and ate it, and ate a pair of my reading glasses - again. (I was attempting to fall asleep during all of this and ignored the various sounds coming from the living room.) Sigh. I heard a LOUD SCREECH from the cat and flew out of bed. Norman was trying to 'play' with Rocko. He had pawed Rocko and flattened him on the ground. Rocko was not happy. When I ran out of the bedroom my husband said, "You don't want a nap, right? He's been out of control this whole time!" (The whole half hour I had attempt to nap.) My husband was upset. I didn't get my nap - I was upset. I took Norm out side to play ball with him since he was so hyper. I mean, my husband could have done this too, right? I think my husband is scared that he can't control Norman like I can - and I wouldn't say I can control Norman. I think he just likes me better. My husband has been napping most of the afternoon and fell asleep in his chair right after supper. Hmmmmmm. I do not find this very fair. (Oh wait - it is. I am the one that wanted the dog, not him.)

There - I am done whining. I should go watch Ancient Aliens and fall asleep in my chair. Maybe now that I've vented, I will sleep better tonight. 

March 25, 2021 - We had three trees taken down yesterday. I was VERY impressed with the tree company. There were five people doing the work - three on the clean up part as the limbs came down and two main guys doing the chain saw work and moving of the logs. Watching them was fascinating. The guy in the lift up high was quite the show man. (Not in a dangerous way - just very good at what he did.) They started around 9:30 a.m. and left by 5 p.m. Amazing. I can't tell you how happy I am with their work. They went above and beyond and one of the guys even brought up our recycle Herby Curby from the road!! (I told him I had laundry to do, too, but he declined the offer.) We had two dead willow trees that then took down to about 6 food stumps. The bases are huge, and I couldn't afford them to bring in super equipment to take those out. (Or I wasn't GOING to afford it.) I plan on doing something creative with them, no doubt involving fairy gardens. Smile. My biggest fear was that I have inadvertently have caused a forced relocation of some squirrels. I didn't see any running in fear and the guys didn't report any babies, but I still think the biggest old willow was like grad central stations for various critters.

Norman was beside himself the whole time - barking and pacing. Any window in the house his nose could reach is covered in Norm slime. People were in his yard! How dare they!! When Norman gets stressed he tends to eat furniture and get diarrhea. He is still in bed this morning avoiding real life. (Not a bad idea when I ponder it...) At one point, one of the men came to the door to ask a question and as my husband held Norman's collar so I could open the door to talk to the man. Mistake! Norman was not going to allow me to talk to anyone without his blessing and he pulled my 300 pound husband to the ground with a PLOP. Down he went. Ouch and Yikes. At our age, we DO NOT like to fall. It isn't a good thing for the older set. I still have a lot of work to do on Norman, but I did appreciate the fact he felt he had to defend me.

We had some rain which is appreciated and some very nice 65 - 70 degree days. The sky is SO BLUE. It makes one want to put out flowers - but it is way too early. We need MORE rain. March showers bring ... wait - I have that wrong. It is April showers that bring May flowers. I am not sure what March showers bring - but we need the rain nonetheless.

March 30, 2021 - I love looking at the Moon when it is full. The Moon is a damned good friend to the Earth. It helped stabilize our planet's spastic rotation - slowed it down so life could take off and all. Everyone should have good friends to keep you calm -  like the Moon does for Earth. I have had a lot of wonderful moons in my life.

My cousin takes the best pictures (professional like) of the moon. I am sure he does magic with them - layering them and such - but I adore his moon pictures. I love to look at anything outside our atmosphere. The universe amazes me.

Norman has been doing so well when we take him outside. It was scary yesterday because when he sees birds in the sky he will chase them. He saw a turkey buzzard and took off and I yelled three times and he finally came back. Phew. He is getting more mature. He loves being outside and just 'hanging' around. He may be maturing, but this does not apply to the neighbor dogs. He was so aggressive with Lucy yesterday. He WANTED Lucy to play with him. He begged her, put her head in his mouth, got down and whined, whomped her with his gigantic paws, etc. She was not amuse. Lucy is a 7 or 8 year old pit bull. Sweetest doggie ever - BUT SHE HAS HER LIMITS. When she snapped at Norman over his behavior I was pleased. Norman needs to remember he is lower on the food chain of dogs 'round these parts. Lucy used to play with Norman last year when he was 'small' and he misses that. He misses Gertie (aka Cujo) the golden puppy but she has to heal from her spading before Norman can throw her around. She has no fear of Norman but Norman still does not understand how big he is - he feels he's the same size as his friends.

My youngest son came over on Saturday and did my bidding in the yard. My husband even got out there and sawed down some limbs and cut them up. (This is good - he's doing more and more. I was worried he would just curl up in a ball with his stoma and give up - but he has been doing quite well. Damned neck breathers, anyway!) Norman was a spaz, chasing the mower around. I delegated and wiped Norman's face a lot.

We get our second Covid shot in 10 days. I hear rumors that the second Moderna shot makes you sick. We will see. Still worth it to spend a day with a fever and in bed. It will turn out that the Covid shot will be like the flu shot - you will need a booster every year, no doubt. Don't care. We (as a population) were due for a pandemic...now that we've had it - let's do what we can to overcome it. I have lost friends due to Covid. I am not fond of Covid or any SARS variant.

My check engine light came on in my car. She is 4 years old. I am dropping her off this morning at the local dealership. I tried to clean it up a bit last night (get the crusted slobber blobs off the windows and the crust chunks off the head rests.) I finally gave up. That is going to have to be a weekend project. (Didn't help that Norm would jump in while I was doing it to re-slobber it up...)

April 3, 2021 - Ah, April - you came in like something...um...like a grumpy ice cube. You came in like a grumpy ice cube. Stop it.

I never was an advocate for a shock collar for a dog in my life, but it's been a godsend with Norman. He has been shocked when he tried to chase the neighbor's van and when he's charged at the German Shepherd next door (who was charging at Norman.) Now, just using the sound button or going to the vibration button makes him mind. One of my friends gave me good advice on how to user the collar. I've decided I am keeping it on him all day long. My husband, who can 'talk' by covering his stoma and blowing air through the valve between his trachea and esophagus, tries to tell Norman commands but Norman ignores him. That will change. Norman knows good and well what my husband is saying. When I leave the house for work or to shop I have been giving my husband the collar control. Norman is actually VERY smart so he WILL learn. I see light at the end of the Great Dane tunnel. (Insert sign of relief here.) I adore the fact that now Norman can be in the yard and he doesn't attempt to chase the mail truck anymore or run away down the road.

We just got 3 yards of yard dirt delivered to fill in the damage in the ground from the trees being taken down. The guy delivered it via my neighbor's driveway and now we need to fix the truck ruts in HIS yard. My husband is filling up the roller today and will attempt to even out the truck ruts that way. The yard DOES need a good rolling. My neighbor made me three flower boxes from some old skids to put on the old willow's stump in honor of that majestic tree. I can't wait to plant in them! If it warms up today, I'm going out and wood burn the boxes with some designs and then treat the wood.

Norman has one place in the yard he is allowed to dig, and that is by that old willow.  There is a HUGE chuck of willow that fell back in January of 2020. The neighbors cut that up as much as they could but had to leave a very large piece of the dead tree. Norman uses that as his digging spot. He has about a 2.5 foot hole there and it cracks me up to watch him dig. When we play ball and he gets tired, he takes the ball and throws it in that hole. (They can't throw it again if they can't find it, right?) Hahahahaha.

My daffodils were starting to bloom until it froze the other morning so now they just look depressed. I hope they perk up this weekend. Daffodils are my most favorite flower next to carnations. I can't wait for the greenhouses to open up. I can't wait to get dirty planting flowers. I am not sure if I will do fairy gardens this year. Maybe I will concentrate on making the old trunks of the willows into huge gnome houses. We'll see. We all know I'm packed full of grand ideas but most fall short.

I went to get my blood work for my re-check on my sugar for next week's doctor's appointment. Ugh. My A1C was .1 HIGHER than December!! I've been trying so hard. Plus, my urine sample showed high levels of things that shouldn't be that high at all, so I'll need to discuss my kidneys with the doctor as well. I am falling apart at a rapid rate. (Mind you, I feel fine - but apparently my body has decided to call it quits. How in the hell would blame it?) I am totally at fault for any of my ailments so I'm not looking for sympathy in the least bit. I am just venting. I have little to whine about. I've had friends who have endured much worse things medically and they are still keepin' on keeping on. I shall too. That is what humans do. We carry on.

We get our second Moderna shot on the 9th. I wonder if we will all need boosters every so many months? We'll see. One of my workmates and his girlfriend got the 'Rona and he was out all week. Another of my coworkers was down with Covid last week too. (She thinks it was from her son who got it after basketball practices and brought it home to everyone.) I feel for them. I hear the headaches were terrible. Now they all say they cannot smell anything. I am just thankful they lived!!

April 9, 2021 - Ah, Friday. I took every Friday off up until my anniversary date at work in May. I had to use or lose my time. I still work, just not all day. So what is my exciting day going to be like?

Well, so far this morning I went to the chiropractor. My right shoulder blade has had something pinched in it and it hurts and it makes my whole right arm go numb and hurt. I have to go back in a week since he really couldn't loosen that up very well. Pretty tight, thank you very much. The nerve part in my back still hurts but at least my arm isn't burning and numb. I would like to blame Norman for this as he makes me move more than I was used to all winter. He is a physical fitness dynamo. Plus, for over a year I've worked at home and use my work computer at an angle. (To the right of me at my desk.) I am very sure this is the cause as well. At my request last night my husband built me a small booster table thingy for me to put straight in front of me at my desk where I can now put my laptop and the like. That should help a lot to. We were both confused as to why this was not thought of a year ago. Why did I 'suffer' for a year? DUH. I admit sometimes I am not that bright.

In a while I will attempt to take Rocko the Cat and Norman to the vet for their annual shots, etc. It will be interesting to see how it goes with the both of them. I hope they take Rocko in first. My husband has a doctor's appointment at 11 and he said he would text me when he gets out to see if I want him to come get Rocko. We'll see how it goes. I miss being able to go in to the Vet's office. Curbside drop off sucks in my opinion but I am willing to follow the rules. No doubt any gain to remove pain in my shoulder will be undone when I am wrestling with Norman to get him in the office. Last time he went in pretty well - so I am crossing my fingers. This afternoon we go for our second Moderna shot and we'll see how that goes. According to some friends, the second shot made them sick or tired or sick and tired and others had no reaction. I would like the 'no reaction' reaction. At least it is the weekend in case it kills me so I don't have to miss work. If it does kill me then that it is a good excuse for me to order delivery tonight instead of fixing supper, right? It makes me laugh because we got Moderna when we live down the road from Pfizer where they are making the vaccine and my daughter and son-in-law got Pfizer shots and they live in Chicago. Go figure.

The 'shock collar' training is going SO WELL. We don't need to shock Norman - just 'beep' him and he minds. (If he was previously NOT minding our command.) I was outside with him this morning when the FedEx truck pulled in. Norm got all excited and started running to the truck, so I called for him to go in the house and he ran around my car and I told him again then vibrated him. In the house he ran. Phew. I had a friend of mine come over and cut my husbands hairs earlier this week. Norman did fairly well with her and she was petted him after she was done. She gave him practically a full body massage and Norman was grooving on that. (He got so relaxed he slid off the couch, actually.) However, when I sat on the couch next to Norman and my friend went to pet him goodbye, he took her hand in his mouth and growled. Sigh. I am sure that was in defense of me... maybe? He didn't bite down and he didn't 'attack' but he made it clear she should take her hands away. That I wasn't pleased with, yet I was? Conflicting feelings. I don't want him to get violent with ANY ONE for ANY REASON. Lack of socialization is the issue. He just adores my neighbors but those are the only humans he's bonded with. He loves my kids but he's seen them off and on throughout his first year on earth. When he rides to the store with us and is hanging out of the window people come up and ask to pet him and he starts barking in his deep voice. He has yet to get stranger pets. He knows FULL WELL however that any drive we go through gives him cookies. He gets excited at the pharmacy and at banks and barks at them for HIS cookie. "Now, give me my cookie, damn it!! I see that cookie jar!!" Yes, it's all about Norman. Spoiled brat.

April 15, 2021 - I will type this up quickly since my eyesight is getting worse... I had an eyeball adventures Tuesday night and Wednesday...

(Dear Oldest Son - this is about what I went through with my eye - it may get detailed...you may want to skip this entry....)

So, Tuesday night we were playing with Norman - he is a 'fetch it" freak and has to be run several times a day to work off his energy. It is tradition now for both of us to go out and my husband will Chuck the one ball, and as Norman goes to fetch that, I reload the Chuckit. It goes on until Norman is exhausted or he wanders off to poop in the neighbor's yard. Apparently during this high energy game of a slobbering and returning the balls to me, I must have gotten dirt of some sort in my eye. I noticed later in the night that my eye felt irritated. I check it in the mirror and couldn't find anything, so I put in some Visine and went to bed.

Wednesday morning I woke up at 4:30 to pee and THE PAIN IN MY EYE WAS UNBEARABLE. If felt as if there was a tiny little man in there with a tiny little dagger slicing my eye apart. I got a cold rag and held it on my eye. I couldn't even open up the eye to check it... I tried to wash out with bottle water. I tried the cold rag on it for a while while my eyes were closed. Seriously - I've had plopped out three kids without the help of drugs, I've passed a kidney stone while pregnant, I passed several rock directly from my liver down a bile duct (and I thought that was bad pain right there) and I've had cancer, and surgeries and radiation and the pain in my eye TOPPED THEM ALL. OMG!!  I tried to work for a while since there were a few things I had to do. A ten minute job too 30 minutes. Finally I called my youngest son and asked him to come over to babysit Norman so my husband could take me to ER. I honestly felt like my left eye ball was going to fly out of my head. I let my backup know I was headed to the hospital and I got an ice pack and we were off as soon as my son got to the house.

I tried to control my pain mentally. I failed miserably. I broke out in a cold sweat. I could feel my heart beating harder. (Pain does that.) You are not allowed to have anyone go in to ER with you, so I got in there and kind of saw a sign that said "4 hour wait" so I called my husband and told him just to go home and I would call him when I was done. After I had my vitals taken (BP was 189/89!! My blood pressure is never like that unless I am in severe pain. I was in severe pain...) The nurse tried to make me read an eye chart. "I can't even open my eye, ma'am!" I was sent to the waiting room, knowing I would seriously die and fall on the floor in a pile of fat before my 4 hour wait was up. I kept slipping further down in my chair. I thought if I did faint from pain, maybe they would see me faster. It was less than 15 minutes before they called me back. I asked for water and the nurse took down all the info she needed. After she was in, only like 10 minutes, here comes the doctor! YAY! He looked at me can immediately put two drops in my eye. (Tetracaine Hydochloide.) After the initial terrible burning, the pain all went away!! Me, being the master of words and compliments, blurted out "OMG, I LOVE YOU! I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!!" At least I made him laugh. He looked at the eye with special lights and said, "Well, you abraded the heck out of your cornea..." He dyed it and checked with another light. "Yep, it's all over your cornea. Good job." Basically, all he could tell me to do was put antibiotic cream in it every six hours that he prescribed and follow up with my eye doctor. So out he went and I heard him dictating my case to the computer. The nurse came in to clean up and I said, "So I can call my husband to come get me?" and she said "yes" and "we just have to check you out" so I called my husband and he headed back up. So, it turns out the four hour wait seems to be AFTER YOU ARE TREATED and waiting to check out... Ugh. The pain started to come back with a vengeance. My husband called my cell and said he was there. I told him to park. I went to the sliding glass door that is covered by a curtain, pulled the curtain back, and rested my forehead on the cool glass so they could see my miserable self. I think this helped speed the check up process up a bit. Finally they brought me my prescription and check out papers. I came home and put a cold rag on my eyes and my husband went in to get my prescription. Ugh. Yesterday was a long, painful day.

This morning was better. I went to see my eye doctor this morning. Not that I didn't trust the ER guy, but they did say to go see my own doc to follow up. I believe she said the same thing he did, "Well, you abraded the heck out of your cornea..." She also said eyes tend to heal faster than anything on our body, so that gave me hope. Before I went and after I got back, I've been working all day but now my eye is stating that I should not be looking at anything right now, I need to go rest my eyes. So off I got.

That was my grand adventure. I would have preferred some other type of adventure, actually. Beggars can't be choosers, I suppose... 

April 23, 2021 - My daughter lost a dear friend last Sunday due to Covid. My daughter's first major loss of a loved one. It HURTS and there is nothing that I could have done to prepare a child for this event. I felt so bad for her. I loved Liz. She was a dear, sweet, genuine, loving young woman. Age 32 is way too young to pass, which makes it hurt even more. Then there are people on Facebook and the news screaming about their "loss of freedom" and "Covid is a hoax" and ... we'll, I don't know how you believe nor will I preach here - but Covid is a real thing and losing someone you love hurts like a bomb exploding in your heart, your brain, and your lower intestines.

It has snowed several days this week and it freezes at night. I've been chompin' a the bit to plant flowers but I can't in this weather. Sigh. I have two viola plants in one planter that grew from last year's seeds and I adore them. Seems every year I get some 'babies' from the previous plantings. Violas and pansies were my Mom's favorite and I like to plant them in spring and attempt to keep them alive for as long as I can throughout the summer. I still am not sure if I will do fairy gardens this year. I am too lazy, perhaps. I was the only person who really wanted and enjoyed them, so I will plant some if I get the urge. One can change their minds.

Next week in my colonoscopy and I'll tell you right now - I only do it for the drugs. They have good, peaceful drugs for those procedures. The 'purging' sucks, but who can't use a good purge every once in a while? My Mom had colon cancer, so I get a scope every five years. They say it's time for my butt paparazzi photos, I say it's time for a nice nap...

One of my friends sent me this meme last night and I just ADORE it because IT'S SO TRUE. I would have never known had I not gotten Norman how true this is. It make me laugh every time I look at it. I want to print it out and frame it, it's so funny. My dear friend Sue made me a floating frame of Dane pictures as a present, and I'd love to print this one out and put it in a frame next to that picture. The thing that makes me a bit worried is - DO I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL NORMAN IS THREE YEARS OLD BEFORE HE MELLOWS OUT???? Gentle giants my butt. He is a airborne heathen. Hahahahahaha. I am pretty sure that they took a picture of Norman for the "4-36 months" example...

You know, it just dawned on me - Covid isn't the worse virus ever. HUMANS are the worst "virus" ever. Humans don't think their feces smell and humans hurt other humans and humans are not as smart as we think we are. We're raving idiots. We judge, we're greedy, and we believe our beliefs are the only right beliefs. Sigh. I limit my exposure to the news to once a week. It's all I can stand. We've gotten way to "politically correct" and things are a bit out of control. I don't understand my species one iota. Curling up in a ball and rolling under a couch sometimes sounds like the best choice going forward...

April 29, 2021 - Ah, the colonoscopy is over! The prep is just a hoot (not really, if you’ve had one you know) but the crew at my hospital were all so sweet. When we got in the room for the procedure, the anesthesiologist told me he was going to start the ‘sleeping’ drug and when it started to hit, I said loudly, “Ahhhhh, that’s the stuff!” and then I told him “I’ll see you on the other side” and off to sleep I went. (One must enjoy the little things. It was a very nice nap.) I woke up in the room and immediately grabbed the Lorna Doone cookies they had by bed and drank my wee little Coke. Hungry much? I made my husband stop for lunch on the way home.

My oldest was the babysitter for Norman. Norman was very happy to see him and was a good boy for his “big brother” but I wonder how long I will have to have a babysitter for Norman? All of the kids have been just great babysitting for us when my husband had surgery and our trips to University of Michigan and other things. I am blessed. (But really, does anyone out there have a Great Dane and can you EVER leave them alone – EVER??) As much as I adore Norman, he is very people dependent and from what I researched all Danes are... So far, except for the "raptor" stage antics - he's been worth it.

I am chompin' at the bit to plant flowers. With Michigan weather you just never know when you can plant. Maybe I will attempt it next week when I'm on vacation. Worse comes to worse I can always cover them up with old sheets, right? I have tried to use up my vacations days and I think I'll be giving back a couple of days as it stands, but the May vacation is always my planting stuff vacation. I do love to get in the dirt. (I am just getting to the point where getting back up again is an issue...)

May 7, 2021 - Today is the last day of my last vacation before my time rolls over on May 11th. I will lose some time - even with taking off every Friday for two months. I have been there since 1979 (although not considered 'full time until 1982) and I have a lot of vacation time. It is a catch 22 of sorts - you've been there so long and have a lot of responsibilities which kind of makes it so you CAN'T take off all the time you get for being there so long...

Yesterday my husband installed our new water heater. Since had cannot speak unless he covers the filter on his stoma (which I am fond of calling his "blow hole") and he had to use both hands most of the time, it was rather a quiet event. Normally there are swear words spewing forth from him during projects such as this, but not a peep was spewed. Norman was quite perplexed at all the goings on and barked for 10 minutes at the old water heater sitting in the yard. I am safe from old water heaters, boy howdy. 

All this week Norman has gotten me up at my normal time to wake up (5:30 a.m.) but then has stayed in bed. Ugh. I mean, it is OK because by 5:30 my bladder has already given up all hope of holding in anything I produced during the night, but COME ON NORMAN - let Mom sleep in!!

I planted my fairy gardens and think this will be the last year. No one around here has much if any fairy garden plants anymore. The popular phase has passed so they just don't stock 'em. I also put in some pansies and petunias, but last night it frosted. I am pretty sure there is a "WANTED" poster now in every Green House in my surrounding area with my face on it. (Now mind you, I knew it was going frost TONIGHT and through this weekend as was very prepared to cover up what I did plant, but NO - it frosted last night when the weather on six different sites said it wouldn't frost last night...Ugh.) I thought to myself as I drifted to sleep last night that it wouldn't frost if I didn't allow it to frost. Of course we all know I have NO CONTROL over the weather even if I convince myself that I do. (This is how random cults get started, or for that matter, people in government - they think they can control things and convince innocent bystanders that they can and next thing you know you're buying Nike tennis shoes and making people refuse to work because they make more on unemployment...)

My sister has has been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. It seems to be progressing rapidly. My eldest niece has been her care giver for several years and it's just getting hard for her and I totally understand. Knowing my sisters mind is no longer in control is sad and it makes me mad. There is a lot of dementia on my Mom's side of the family. My first experience with someone with dementia was my Mom's dad. When I was just a wee kid and we'd visit Grandpa and Grandma, I thought it was quite funny that he'd yell at Grandma about wanting pie before we even ate supper. Now that's the good life - pie for supper! I am sure my Grandma had her hands full, that's for sure. I do not recall any relative being diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia specifically, however. It is almost acting like Parkinson's Disease in my sister. She can no longer write (where you can read it). She can't make a complete sentences. It breaks my heart. My Mom had dementia as well, but she was fully able to 'carry' on with her verbal ability (even though what she said wasn't my "Mom" as I knew her - she got MEAN) and she was physically OK until she fell and broke her hip at the nursing home. Seems very unfair that our brains can do that to us, you know? I have, for years, talked to my brain discussing the fact that when it's my turn, Brian (the guy who runs my brain) has to find a happy cell to lock me into so I'm not cruel to others and I will be a happy demented sort of person and only occasionally escape and run naked through the local fields...

May 15, 2021 - I love birds, as I have stated 655 million times. I feed the birds because I love them, but every time they wipe out all the supply of bird food and suet I get disgruntled and call them 'pigs' and 'you eat me out of house and home' and such. Then it dawned on me this morning - I am never upset that I have birds that eat all my seed and suet - I'm upset because I have to physically go out and refill the feeders! Hahahaha. I'm so darned lazy.

Norman is out 'grazing' - sometimes he starts his day by eating grass and then barfing it all over. This is a practice he's had for as long as I've had the monster. We call it "eating his salad" sometimes. He comes in from his 'purge' and eats his dog food like a starving pig.

We took Norm to get his nails trimmed today. He was such a GOOD BOY! There were three other dogs in the waiting room and Norm was excited, but I told him to sit, and he SAT. I told him to lie down and he did! I was amazed. Two of the other fur babies parents told their hyper doggies "Why can't you be like him?" I almost fainted from a burst of dog Mom pride. He even was good when she trimmed his nails. (OK, he was an idiot when we left because he wanted out of there, that's for sure, dragging me to the car at a high rate of speed. I don't blame him, but I also do not go that fast - it was a light speed walk back to the car.) So, Norm is maturing but we have lots of work ahead of us still (if I want to live without a broken hip or the like.)

May 16, 2021 - I got the rest of my flowers in the ground yesterday that have been spending nights in the tent shed to protect them from frost. Now they are in their summer home. I hope the night frosts are over.
Crossing my fingers...speaking of fingers...

I signed up for a week of "Hello, Fresh" because I am/was/have been at the end of my rope on what the hell to make for supper. We will see how this goes. Since today would be my last meal I had to prepare on my own before Hello Fresh kicks in tomorrow, I used up the smoked pork chops I had purchased and made a dish of scalloped potatoes for our Sunday meal. They turned out very good but I managed to cut my little finger on my right hand while slicing the taters, precious. I was using my slicer gizmo that makes it so much easier to slice things up, but I got too close to the blade and now my little finger is covered in gauze and many Spongebob bandaids trying to hold together what remains of my pinkie. Sigh. (I never really knew how much I used my pinkie finger in typing until now...)

Last week I had made a doctors appointment for my throat. I did it on line - which is handy. They called and said they cancelled that because a sore throat is one of the signs of covid and I would have to have a covid test before I went in. Ugh. I just wanted them to look at my throat as there were white spots in it and I tend to get strep throat once a year or so... even though I didn't feel like it was strep, I didn't want to mess with it in case. It was irritated and I had been gargling with salt water at night to aid in the irritation.

So I had to drive downtown to the drive through nose stabbing facility to get my covid test. It came back negative, so I scheduled another appointment on line (which was over a week away). They called again. They got me in right away instead of waiting which I thought was nice of them. The strep test was negative and the doctor said that by the look of the amount of post nasal waterfalls I had going on that it was most likely due to allergies. He told me to take an allergy pill once a day to help with my sinuses over production of snot to see if that would help. It actually has helped a lot to be honest. I have not looked in my throat in several days to see the red irritation that I had prior to all of this but I probably should.

If excessive post nasal drip and a severed pinkie finger is all I have to worry about, then I am doing pretty good I'd say. Those things are all so minor when you attempt to read the news. Ugh. So much stupid out there - world wide. I won't even begin to get in to it here. I have no time to curl up into a fetal position and rock back and forth at this time.

May 24, 2021 - The neighbor had his brother's 40th Birthday party outside on Saturday. I did not go over as Norman would have had to go with me and Norm was convinced the kids were playing with his ball (they were playing with a blue and orange soccer ball and running and Norman assumed it was HIS blue and orange ball, even though he had HIS blue and orange ball in his mouth, running the length of the pen and back with it) and he is so big I was worried he'd hurt one of the kids. He wouldn't do that on purpose - he just doesn't know how BIG he is). It was nice to hear laughter and see humans being humans in a group. It lifted my spirits. I will get a further lift in my spirits this weekend when my kids come for 'Mather's Day' gathering. It will be so nice to see my chicks in the nest for a bit.

I have been having issues with depression of sort due to the world we live in. I feel guilty for being white and having a house, I think. I cannot identify with all the killing and anger out there. I feel 'wrong' being who I am. I am sure this will either work itself out or ease up, I hope. It helps not to watch the news. I have issues understanding why so may humans think it is OK to just KILL SOMEONE. I have issues having a home and food and a good job when other's can't handle the day to day out there. I feel weird. I may make a therapy appointment. I keep telling myself I've worked hard all my life for 'stuff' and who I am is who I am and really, I'm happy with 'me' and all. Just lately I am confused about Earth in general. Sigh. I am also convinced anger and violence brings on more anger and violence and I fear the day I'm confronted with something like that - I just may go off Michael Douglass in "Falling Down"....

Today is a trip to U of M for my husband's there month check up for his laryngectomy. I am sure it will go well, I hope. He has had a lot phlegm he has to suction out, but all in all he's doing well. He is a bit unsteady on is feet, however, and that scares me a tad. He is a big boy and if he goes down, it will be a hard time getting him back up. Life - go figure. If he goes down I'm sure Norman will be right there to try to play with him while he's in the prone position.

I get to go back in to the office starting Tuesday. I look forward to it for the human interaction part of it. Wearing a bra every day again, though - that isn't going to be easy. Bras suck, and not in the good way.

My neighbor has a beautiful maple tree (that doesn't drop seeds all over like mine) and on the days there is no breeze that I can feel, it 'waves' at me. A set of leaves will be waving like crazy and this tickles me. I wave back. My morning glories do that to - a few groups will just be rockin' and rolling, waving away when I perceive no breeze whatsoever.

June 3, 2021 - I tell you what - I am grooving on Hello Fresh meals! So flavorful! I was SO SICK of trying to fix meals after being married 41 years and I was just at my wits end. I decided to try Hello Fresh. They had a good deal going on so what the heck. We are week 4 of meals. You can pick and choose what you want. (You have a choice every week from 20 or so different meals.) I made my husband pick next week's meals. There is exactly two servings of everything and it TASTES SO GOOD. I have learned I've been cooking pork so wrong all these years. I am IN LOVE WITH FRESH HERBS! It just makes everything pop. Sorry to sound like a commercial, but we have enjoyed Hello Fresh a LOT. I am blessed that my husband eats EVERYTHING so he is never upset with the new twists on old favorites due to fresh herbs and lemon zest and the like. When I go back to making up meals myself, I will have tons of new ideas. I only buy five days worth from Hello Fresh - so we both wonder what to do on the weekends. Hahaha.

The kids came in for "Mather's Day" weekend and it was wonderful. So good to herd with my adult kids. My oldest son brought us a cake in the shape of the numbers '41' for our anniversary and sugar cookies with pictures on them for every holiday we have missed together since Covid kicked in. It was a very thoughtful gift. My daughter bought us supper and the boys brought over their new Solo stove and we sat outside, hanging out, being amazed by the burn in the Solo stove. Norman was SO HAPPY to see his 'siblings' but he just LOVED my son in law. Norman rubbed his face with his face and would put his head on Pat's shoulders and get hugged a lot. Norman loves each of my kids as well - and has a bond with each of them. This pleases me. It was SO SO FUN.

I am back to working at work and I'm loving it. It has brought me out of my blue funk, that's for sure. Seeing other humans helps so much. It's lightened my heart and suddenly I have more energy and I look forward to waking up in the morning. Before I just woke up because I couldn't hold my bladder any more... I am not so sad nor down and out. Viva humans seeing humans. (Or it is a mood boost from eating proper with Hello Fresh and eating the correct proportions instead of how I normally cook...)

Saturday my friend Lisa comes over and brings her new puppy to meet Norman. I warned her about Norman thinking he's only 25 pounds when in fact he's 130 pounds - I also told her to wear old clothes. Next week I have dinner with the girls and then next Saturday I get see my old friend Judie who is hosting a "Drive Way Bingo Party" - I am a social butterfly again.

So all in all, I have nothing to whine about. A first in a while. I am a blessed human. I shall wallow in my blessings.

June 8, 2021 - RAIN! WE FINALLY GOT SOME RAIN! (...and we got humidity...but hey - worth it for the rain...)  I am thankful for the rain. I hope it rains all week. Yesterday was a nice soak, but we need more. I am a greedy human who likes to have the crops grow and flowers grow and things not so combustible. It was raining hard when I got to work yesterday morning and I stood out in it with outstretched arms.

Time with my friends on Saturday was wonderful. Norman did so good with Bronson the puppy. I was amazed. I worried terribly about how Norman would treat that little 22 pound dog (who happens to be quite the spitfire and has a tendency to bounce off of everything and everyone which is adorable) but Norman did just fine. When Norman needed a play break, he would just put his head on Bronson and hold him down for a while. I adore Bronson the dog. He was a hoot and he reminded me SO MUCH of my Odie (may he rest in peace). We had a whole puppy party for a bit as the neighbor's dogs were out and it was so much fun. Steve the dog found Bronson the dog quite attractive, apparently, as he tried to mount him several times. Steve came out of the closet Saturday.

I got upset with my hair last night and did some chopping. Always the WRONG THING to do. I should have a big warning label permanently on me about using scissors around hair...really. I am a talented woman in many aspects of life, but scissors and hair - NOPE. We'll see how it turns out after my shower. I am pretty sure I will have a makeshift mohawk or shag look... I will have to let it grow out a bit before I go in to a professional for repair... Honestly, there are times I would love to shave my head and 'start' fresh. I am constantly a 'hot' person and tend to be over heated at all times and my hair was just driving me nuts. Guess I showed my hair who's boss.

My poor daughter and son in law's air conditioner is broken and since they live on the third floor of their apartment building - I believe they will have to bring in a crane to fix/replace it. She said it was 78 in their apartment yesterday. She said the will contact the landlord today if things don't move ahead. (Maybe she needs to get some scissors and cut her hair...)

June 9, 2021 - I forgot to mention a event that happened at work the other day... I had to go to several different departments at work and when I got back to my desk I put on my reading glasses and looked at my screen and it was all 'weird' - I closed one eye then the other, trying to figure out what was wrong with my vision. (Everyone around my age just expects bad things to happen on occasion such as having a heart attack whilst pooping or an eyeball exploding or throwing a hip or the like, so I just assumed SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH MY EYES AND OR BRAIN, of course...) I took off my glasses to clean them which was fine on the left lens, but then I found I had lost my lens in those glasses on the RIGHT side! I laughed loudly. No wonder my vision was off! This was a welcome discovery after just assuming I was having a stroke, of course.

The humidity is around 700% (I'm pretty sure and this is why Sandy is not a meteorologist) and everything was foggy and drenched with water this morning. We had rain on Monday and a bit yesterday but the skies looks so pretty today. I think the weather dude said it might rain this afternoon? We can use more rain since it has been so terribly dry. The corn field across the road has gone from wee sprouts to BAM - 6 inches high in just those two days.

June 13, 2021 - The raccoons keep twisting off the top of my birdbath out front. Sigh. Bless their wee hearts. I know they are thirsty in this heat - so I totally understand, but twisting the top off kind of defeats the purpose.

I got to see an old friend yesterday at her house. She hosted a 'driveway bingo' party. It was 91 degrees so no one was out in the sun - so it turned out to be a garage bingo party. I only stayed for a couple of hours, but it was a hoot. I met nice new people. It felt good to get out.

A high school friend had an accident with one of her husband's guns. She was moving it and it was loaded and she shot herself from under her chin and the bullet landed in her temple. She was able to call 911 on her own and told the ambulance people she would walk out to the ambulance (they refused of course). She was in ICU for a while, and then they moved her to a rehab place. She was responding to voices, doing what her husband and nurses told her to do, but ended up getting worse and back to the hospital ICU she went. The ended up pronouncing her dead on Friday when her heart gave up. I can only imagine how terrible her husband felt. However, on Saturday morning they called him and said she opened her eyes!! (She was put on life support until they could harvest her organs for donations.) I've not heard an update yet on her condition, but it was amazing she 're-awoke' in the first place. My heart goes out to her family. It is just heart breaking.

Norman is practically climbing in my lap, wanting to go outside, so I best take him out. I'm not ready for a broken hip at this point in my life.  Have a good day!

June 16, 2021 - If there was such a thing as the 'perfect weather day' then today would be that day. Amazing out. Not too hot nor too cold - JUST right. Not a cloud in the sky. Just amazing. Of course, most of us are working indoors, so ... whadyagonna do?

My brother passed on the 14th from complications of diabetes. My heart goes out to his two daughters and wife. They are wonderful women.

Norman has not been eating well - meaning he will eat breakfast and fart around and eat 'lunch' at 4 p.m. then eat supper at 8 p.m. Sigh. Kids. There are weeks he is a 7 a.m., noon, and 5 p.m. good boy. This last week he's been a turd. I love my turd.

The lawns all over are BROWN and crunchy in these parts. We SO need rain. Sigh. We have chances of thunderstorms Thursday night and Friday morning. I don't want a tornado, but I would love some dedicated rain... We're all just a grass fire away from disaster.

I have been ultra hyper this week...when someone comes to my office to ask a question I end up babbling for 20 minutes about said problem then adding every possible variant that could exist for it and on and on I go. Maybe it is because I was away from humans so long? All I know is there are times I feel like I am on ultra spaz mode. (I suppose maybe I should cut down on coffee at this point...)

June 18, 2021 - Wednesday night we took Norman for a play date with Bouncin' Bronson the puppy at my friend Lisa's house. They did play and have a good time. Norm didn't seemed phased at first that he was somewhere 'new' which is good. However, they live on a lake and a train line runs just a wee bit north of the house and a train came through about an hour after we were there. Norman was terrified. (He was upset at the 'sound' of the train but he lost it when they hit their whistle.) He ran to me with panic in his face then he ran up to their porch and tried to get in, then he ran around trying to find a place to hide. He stayed up near their house as close as he could. We couldn't give him any comfort. HE WANTED OUT. He was so so scared. (I found this sort of funny but still my 'baby boy' was just having such a problem.) He started going to the fence where we came in and he almost jumped it trying to get to our car. We decided it was time to leave since Norman was such a mess. I've never seen Norman so happy to get home.

This replayed itself this morning (and we were HOME) when we had a storm. Norman has never heard those huge cracking thunder explosions in his 1 1/2 years on Earth. He has heard far away thunder and he's seen storms, but not that horrid window shaking house vibrating BAM. We had one this morning. He was so scared - he ran into the bathroom and peed all over and hid in the bathroom for ever. I found this on a web page about Great Danes, "Great Danes have a reputation for being adorkable scaredy cats"... the use of the word adorkable made me laugh. I can attest this is a true statement. They are so huge, yet they are terrified by things unfamiliar to them. The time my neighbor moved something in his yard Norman barked at it for an hour... I felt bad for the boy, but I couldn't fix it. He didn't understand the concept of thunder. He just new something was louder than he's ever heard (besides that train horn) and he would have crawled behind the toilet had he fit. Honestly, he is like raising a baby child. My husband said he didn't eat breakfast until 9:30 and he wouldn't go out to potty until he dragged him out.

We had a good dousing of rain this morning, but we need MORE. It could rain all weekend and it would still probably not be enough. Doesn't look like we will get more rain until tomorrow morning. Maybe. Sigh.

June 23, 2021 - I saw a meme on one of my friend's Facebook where they pointed out that 'office' people never know when it is hot out (because we sit in air conditioning) while the factory people are dehydrating from sweat. My feathers got ruffled for a split second. My first thought was "I did my time on the floor and in the heat...." I got over the immediate flare up of being upset. Duh. IT IS HOT ON THE FLOOR! They speak the truth. I remember it well - having your bra eat into your flesh because you are sweating so much - not being able to see clearly when loading a trailer because of the sweat in your eye... I am proud of those who still work through it all and carry on. I was proud of me back then. I tend to flare up when I feel someone is doubting me. Sigh. Being human - one is always learning. I am convinced that when it comes time for us to pass to the other side we'll JUST have it all figured out and be able to express a chortle of "I get it!" as we take our last breath.

We are due for more rain the rest of the week. This is good for the 'drought' conditions. Maybe the lawns will finally be green but that isn't my worry - it's crops 'round these parts. I feel bad though for the people who live in the areas that can't handle the bursts of rain and get their yards, basements, and driveways so flooded.

I get to see my daughter this weekend for a bit. She is coming in to do some sessions for her doctorate research with someone near here. Norman will enjoy seeing his big sister and even more will love seeing my son in law WHO NORMAN ADORES. He looks at Pat with such love in his eyes, like he looks at my friend Linda when she comes over. I would LOVE to know what it going on in his doggy head when he looks so moonstruck.

June 27, 2021 - This morning there were bunnies in the neighbor's yard and when they saw me they froze because everyone knows that if you don't move, no one can see you. There were also a couple of ground squirrels playing out front. Suddenly both the bunnies and the squirrels scattered and ran like - well...rabbits and squirrels. Several does came running up from the east heading west across the road into the corn field. Every day is like a mini National Geographic special in my neighborhood. I love where I live. (When the neighbors go up north, the rabbits just go nuts in their yard, opening bunny speak-easies and illegal rabbit racing tracks and the like.)

We have gone from needing rain to needing it to STOP raining. Funny how that works. The yard is green again at least. The corn across the road has shot up and will surpass the required 'knee high by the fourth of July' with no problem. I feel bad for my friends who are battling flooded basements. I feel bad all the places that are just flooding. So much rain at one time and the ground and drainage systems just can't handle it and the water has no place to go.

We are to meet with our herd of kids for breakfast this morning. That will be wonderful. In a public place, no less. Seems like forever ago... all the things in our life we took for granted until the pandemic came... I got to see my dear friend Linda for lunch on Thursday and it felt so 'naughty' hugging her in the open and eating lunch where other people were eating lunch.

My BFF sent me a selfie of herself and her boyfriend and they both looked so darned adorable. I love that picture. Some pictures are so wonderful - like the perfect shot. That was the perfect shot.

I went to my therapist on Friday morning for a mental 'oil change' as it were. I have not seen her since December. I adore this woman. Her little place has become quite busy since the pandemic so I was happy to score an appointment so soon. I discussed my sister's decline and my brother's passing. I talked about my husband's recovery and Norman. It was just like talking to a friend about life. Which is what causes mental issues in the first place - life and all... I did have one mini epiphany:  I am very worried about taking the mental path of my Grandfather, my Mother, and now my Sister. Who wouldn't worry about that sort of thing. Hopefully my decent in to madness doesn't start for a while yet. I like being older and wiser on things - I would surely like to enjoy this state of mind for a while yet.

My niece is looking for a place for my sister. My poor niece is having to deal with more and more issues with Joyce. I hope she finds a place soon. Joyce is getting to be a 'danger' in some aspects of life and it would be good for her to be in a monitored environment. Lewy Body dementia isn't pretty. So many places WON'T take her due to her diagnosis. Sigh. I miss my sister...

P.S. - I saw my first eagle in these parts on the way to breakfast this morning. He was flying north and we were going south. He was majestic. I got goosebumps. He was most likely looking for breakfast. (I know where there are tons of bunnies...)

July 2, 2021 - Happy July. I am not sure where June went - it seemed to just zip by.

The other day I was headed to town, scanning the radio for something I wanted to listen to and 'Twist and Shout' was on one of the stations. So I'm 'rocking out' to this Beatles song and I happened to notice that my left turn signal had been on since a turned a long while back. Way to look old, Sandy. Duh. (This was witnessed by several people at the stop light I had come up to...I felt obligated to turn left just to prove I wasn't insane.) Shake it up baby, now...

My daughter is here this weekend. She has sessions with some people here that will go towards her doctorate research. Norman was a true turd head last night. The stairs to upstairs are in my bedroom so every time she came down and went back up, Norman went ballistic and would bark and growl at her in the dark as if he didn't know who she was. (I was afraid that he would actually attack her, he was so out of sorts.) So as soon as I would calm him down again and she would get upstairs, here would come my husband with THE BRIGHTEST FLASHLIGHT THAT IS PROBABLY A DEATH LASER and shine it in the bedroom right into my eyes, trying to see what was going on. Ugh. We were laughing about it this morning because the first thing I said to him was, "Thanks for the free lasik surgery last night...cripes!" Seriously, that flashlight he used is dangerous. I am putting that one out of his reach.

The cat barfed on top of the fridge this morning. (A cat puking is one of the things that make me laugh for some reason. I have no clue why I laugh. Maybe it's the contortions they make trying to puke that tickles my funny bone. I laugh like that when people fall, too - it just burst out of me - I have no control over it...) My husband was having a fit. He came out into the living room and was motioning to me frantically (he had things in his hands so he couldn't use his fingers to cover up his stoma and talk) and then Norman started barking in the kitchen. I walked out there to find Rocko up there hurling up his breakfast on top of the fridge and I just started uncontrolled laughter. Sigh. No use to cry over spilled milk as it were - I told my husband when Rocko was done I would clean it up. Both he and Norman stared at me like I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING. I did. I got a cup of coffee and chuckled to myself.

I am worried about this weekend and the fireworks neighbors will no doubt do and Norman who hates loud noises, thunderstorms, and trains. Sigh. He gets so scared over things like BOOMS and blasts of noises. When he was a puppy puppy I should have played videos of trains and thunderstorms and fireworks shows - maybe he wouldn't be so freaked out now. I will have to do that going forward. You can teach a dorky dog new tricks, really you can. I have hope.

There seems to be an over abundance of ear wigs lately. I am convinced it was the fact we had so much rain over a short amount of time that they sprang to life from dormant ear wig eggs that have been waiting for years. I am off to spray them with hot, soapy water. VENGEANCE IS MINE!!

July 7, 2021 - We just had a thunder storm which sent Norman into his kennel/crate in fear. Then he hid in the bathroom. Then back in the crate. Sigh. He is finally on the living room floor, watching the window and on high alert. Poor dude. My big baby boy... He barley made it through the weekend of the 4th when it sounded like a war zone for three nights in a row.

We are still enjoying the Hello Fresh meals. Tonight was spaghetti with shrimp and zucchini. (It was called 'Spaghetti with a Kick' but they forgot to include the red pepper that would have given it said kick. I used a dusting of cayenne pepper instead.) I have NEVER used fresh shrimp in a meal. It was divine!!  I doubt I could go 'frozen shrimp' again after this!!  My daughter and I each fixed a meal last Thursday night when she was here. She was impressed. We split each of the dinners in thirds (I get dinners for two). She LOVED the roasted broccoli with lemon zest. (It was quite delicious. Such simple things taste so divine!) She signed up for Hello Fresh as well. I hope she has a hoot with the meals - she never would work with me in the kitchen, so this will help her learn some kitchen razzle dazzle skills.

July 8, 2021 - Norman is still very jumpy today when he hears a loud car or a truck. Ugh. What a baby. Hahahaha.

I had two moon flower (glories) open up last night and I'll have another one tonight. I love those things. I don't know why - I mean I get to see them for a few minutes then I go to bed and they are dying by morning - so I am not sure why they draw my attention so. They smell divine for the short time they are open.

Work has been very worky and I have been enjoying that fact. Keeps my mind going and I like that feeling. I want to keep my brain intact as long as possible since it seems that dementia runs on my Mom's gene pool. Sigh. If it happens to me, I hope I remember to be PISSED at the lost of my mental capabilities. My Dad's side of the family didn't have dementia per say. Maybe my Dad's Mom has some during her later years in the nursing home, but over all they were dementia free. (I am crossing my fingers that my brain favors that side of the genetic line.)

I have nothing exciting to report. I will stop talking. Tomorrow I get my hair done!  YAY! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!  I miss having someone touch me! It will be wonderful.

July 11, 2021 - Ahhhhhh, having my hair done was divine. I was totally relaxed for an hour and a half. It was hard to walk without acting like I was drunk afterwards. "Honest, Occifer, I just had my hair done..." hahahaha

On the weekend my sons came over to have a bonfire with our daughter and us old codgers that driving into our yard reminded him of PeeWee's playhouse. I can't imagine why. I only have six wind spinners and various decorations and a large metal heron named Frnk and ton of solar lights and... well, you get the picture. I suppose it DOES kind of look like PeeWee's playhouse...I am honored. I had much joy over PeeWee's Playhouse when it was on TV.

The Hello Fresh meal my husband fixed last night was to die for. It was a Banh Mi Pork Burgers with pickled veggie slaw, sriracha may, and garlic potato wedges. Goodness. My most favorite to date. Most of the meals were kind of so so this week, but last night they made up for it. So good. I am glad it is portioned for just two as I would have eaten MORE had there been more. Divine. Tonight is Garden Spinach Ricotta Ravioli with Zucchini Ribbons, Tomato & Creamy Lemon Sauce. That sounds very good too.

I have had a steady blooming of my moonflowers - six over all so far. Last night the one just BAM - opened up. We had been in and out of that door a lot but when I came in it was there in all it's glory. She just blew open. They only last a night and the fold up and die like normal morning glories. Sad, really. They smell so good. I am sure they are poisonous and deadly so I try not to stick my nose all the way in to get a whiff nor do I roll on them or the like. Normally I'm not a fan of plain white flowers, but these have a special draw for me. (They remind me of my BFF as she was up for our class reunion in 2019 and that was the first year I tried growing them and they were growing well but she didn't get to see one bloom, so now I will collect seeds and send them to her. That's all North Carolina needs, and invasive species of sticky moon flowers.)  I have to call her today, too - she is successful in growing sunflowers and I've never tried. My neighbor's sister in law brought me four of them she had started. I need guidance so I don't kill 'em before they have a chance to be - well, sundlower-y.

My daughter we home again this weekend to continue sessions with people she is using towards her doctorate. Norman adores her and he gets depressed when she leaves. Norman likes having siblings. This morning he was all over her, rubbing her face with his and 'hugging' her by putting his huge head in her neck and then he stared to crawl up to lay on her in a small chair so we put an end to that. I didn't want to explain anything odd to the police had he smothered her with his love.

July 16, 2021 - It has been an icky, rainy day. Steady rain all day long. Norman is upset because he wants to go out and play and he WON'T when it is raining this hard. He's been a problem massive child. Sigh. I finally moved the couch out and got all his toys that he had dropped down there from the previous week. This is a new Friday tradition. There were only two toys left in his toy box and boy howdy was he happy it was couch moving day. The sheer joy he showed when toy after toy came flying over the couch at him. I am also washing the couch cover because if you've ever had a Great Dane, you know why. SO  MUCH  SLOBBER  EVERYWHERE. We were watching a show on possible UFO sightings and on the TV they showed one such UFO, we could see MANY. Why - because of the slobber explosions from Norm. Sigh. At the time it made me laugh because if all the unidentified objects on the screen were real, we'd be in horrid trouble. Hahahahaha. TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.

I took today off. No reason to take the day off, really. I did have an early morning chiropractor visit and I also had to go get my blood drawn for test for next weeks doctor visit. (He is monitoring my sugar and I get blood draws ever six months. I also was supposed to give a urine sample since I've been having blood and such in my urine. My ALB/CREA Ratio and Alb Excretion Ratio have been too high and if it is this time again, I have to go see a specialist. Ugh. Could be related to higher sugar levels, could be that my kidneys are slowly giving up the ship, could be a million things... I couldn't muster a pee this morning at the lab since I woke up and got rid of all my pee at that time in mass quantity, so they sent me home with a cup and I can drop it off on Monday morning.

At the chiro he FINALLY got my neck to adjust. It has not budged in six weeks. My right shoulder and elbow and wrist have hurt a lot lately, aching enough to make it hard to fall asleep. If I adjust my sleeping position it will end up feeling better, but now the pain in all those places were staying all day long. When he finally got my neck to adjust I could FEEL it in my elbow! Damn. Hopefully by tomorrow it will all feel better now that stuff is back in place. Until then, ice and no cartwheels.

Good Lord, I am sounding OLD. This hurts - that hurts - that fell off - that grew - did that come out of ME? sort of thing... No one said aging was a pretty thing. I do enjoy my brain as I age because you learn things and become wiser and more at peace with yourself. You've figured out by 60ish that you don't need to have a cow over this or that. You can just chill and let stuff happen. You know how to pick your battles. You can walk away from stupid. All these things are wonderful and I am grateful for this in my 'golden' years. HOWEVER, the body below the brain is not on board with this new attitude and constantly challenges all of us getting 'up there' in age. Sigh. It is like bridges in America - the infrastructure needs maintenance and is falling apart. Who knows when we'll collapse the next time a semi drives over us...

Maybe when some things 'go bad' as we age it might be a good thing. Eyes are going - you can't see all the chaos out there and the idiotic people out there. Your knees go out so you can't walk up that mountain which is good because if you did no doubt a large pterodactyl would carry you away and feed you to her kids... Maybe there is a reason for things after all. One must keep a positive attitude.

My daughter brought me a oil drizzler thingy and I love it. All Hello Fresh meals call for a 'drizzle' of olive oil in one way or another, and I was more or less lobbing olive oil in the pan. I had to look up how much a drizzle was - approx. 1 tsp. apparently - but it's so much easier to DRIZZLE with a FLOURISH in the pan. I feel so fancy.

I suppose I'll go ice my elbow now as it is complaining that I've been typing. Moody bastard. Joints - go figure....

July 25, 2021 - Happy Sunday. It is already muggy and so humid you can swim in mid air. I look forward to the humidity to lower as they say it will today. ('They' being weather people who never ever get anything correct, ever.) Sigh.

I went up to see my sister in the nursing home yesterday with my oldest niece (the niece that took care of my sister for the last three years at her home). It was rather sad. Not so much sad, I guess, but frustrating. My sister wasn't happy to see us - she didn't even think we were who we said we were. She claims it had been so long since she had seen my niece she wasn't sure it WAS my niece. (My niece goes there to visit a lot.) I told my sister that my niece goes there a lot to visit her and she didn't believe me. My sister had set pieces she repeated over and over(like she had been thinking hard on these things) that really didn't make sense over all, but she could get those sentences out all in one fell swoop (so you know she's been thinking hard about them). She doesn't understand why she is there. I keep running the things she said through my head to try to figure out what I could possibly say to her to ease her mind in the future. I doubt there is any 'easing' to it. She said she was embarrassed, that she thought there would be more of a fan fare (for what?), she would have appreciated being told about all of 'this'... over and over again. She never smiled. She looked at us with contempt most of the time. When she was rambling on and my niece and I would exchange a glance about what she said, she would say, "Why are you looking at each other?" I made her a photo book of her and me and she could have cared less. Very discouraging. I wish there was a side door to brains so loved ones could get in there and be where they are remembered and be where there was once happiness. She would stare at the window to the hall and say, "Stop looking at me" when people would go by and when people WERE NOT GOING BY. Paranoia. She has bad knee pain and can barely walk and her hands are very shaky. My niece said even though things were bad with her at her home my sister would at least have a 'happy' sort of day where she would laugh and smile. She has not done that since she went into the home. That breaks your heart. I miss my sister.

My niece and I went to lunch afterwards and I cried a little. I cried when I thanked my niece for all she did. It could NOT have been easy in any way. Seeing someone you love degrade like that is hard in the first place, let alone feeling guilty about putting someone in a place where they can have 24/7 care. (At least when my Mom went into a home she thought it was her old apartment which made it a bit easier for us kids.)

All my kids came over for supper on Friday night. It was a hoot. I do so love my kids. My daughter and son in law when home Saturday evening. She was in town to finish some session interviews with some of her 'subjects' for her dissertation.

I have been having issues getting the Tidy Cat type of litter our Rocko the Cat will use (because as we all know old cats are set in their ways and will only use certain litters and eat certain foods). Local stores never had it. I finally ordered a 34 lb. container of it from Amazon. Friday night when all the kids were here and it was all chaotic, two of the normal sized litters containers showed up at my door. Um? Drive by littering. When we order for delivery from Walmart, it is usually a drop off like that so I looked on line and I had not ordered littler from Walmart. I was looking for it there, I know. I may have had it in my cart at one point before I decided to just get a half ton from Amazon. I never 'ordered' it all the way. So, hey - free litter? It has not been charged to my card. I am confused, but if Rocko gets the runs, I'm all set.

I suppose I should go do something practical, yes? I have a load to fold in the dryer. I will start there. Doing one thing will justify me taking a nap, right? Smile.

July 29, 2021 - I have had Barry Manilow's "LIVE" album playing all day at work. (From 1977.) I was the most productive I've been in ages. Barry Manilow is the musical Ben Gay for a sore brain. It made me happy and that is good and that is all that matters.

The railroad tracks just north of my work place are shut down to be fixed. Good. Those things were getting bad. Going south over them was fine if you had enough speed to get some air to clear the bad boards, but coming north - Ugh. You couldn't take them fast or you bottom out, so you carefully drive over them as your body gets tossed around the car in a rag doll fashion. It means we have to go an extra five minutes around to get to work - but that is something you can plan for. Truck drivers have been confused. I can't believe the shipping department or the CSRs or purchasers didn't alert the most used semi services we use. Poor dudes. The 'detour' signs are not very clear at all, either. It is not intuitive nor practical the way the detour signs point out how to get to us. Sigh. I say that about the poor semi drivers who have no warning, mind you. However, the guys and gals that come from the south who have lived here all their lives and the fact there are 62,000 'ROAD CLOSED' signs but insist on driving RIGHT UP TO THE TRACKS - now those people confuse me. Do they think they can jump the blockade there? Smile. Today, I followed this large vehicle driven by a stout middle aged man who had a cover on his spare tire that had bullets arranged into the American flag. Always good to celebrate freedom by expressing the use of weapons in a country that was stolen from the Native Americans in the first place. Humans in America - go figure.

Plus, there is TONS of road work going on in my little village. Getting anywhere reminds me of a starving mouse in a maze without cheese - there is no reward trying to navigate the 'Burg. I've decided several times I really didn't need that prescription picked up or that loaf of bread...Ugh. Such Excitement - we're living on the edge here - Trapped in our own town. (I'm sure that is fodder for a good horror movie but probably that has already been done...)

The crop duster did the corn across the road last night. Norman was not too sure about that whole low flying noisy plane, but he did OK after a while since I was so excited. I adore watching crop dusters. Last year when he did it, there were cars stopped all up and down the road and kids lining the field who road there on their bikes, and I know for a fact he gave a few more showy fly overs for the audience. This year it was just us and Norman. There was no breeze at all last night, so I didn't worry about inhaling all the chemicals this year. (Last year it was so cool, I didn't even care!)

Kalamazoo airport is trying to get a grant so they can fly direct to Charlotte, NC. That would be awesome. I could take a plane there, rent a car and drive to my BFFs house. Driving two hours would be nicer than driving 10 hours! (Plus there are potties on an airplane which is good, seeing as I have graduated from the "Old Lady University for the Lack of Bladder Control" summa cum laude and all...

August is packed full of fun medical crap. Monday I take my husband to get his vocal prosthesis replaced since it has started leaking. If he chugs water some will leak out and make him cough. Not good. No one wants to drown themselves! Then I go for a CT scan of my kidneys since my RBC counts are still up in my urine - so now we have to find out what is causing blood in my urine. After the CT scan I have an appointment with a urologist. Plus my doctor wants me to get a scan of the ovary with a cyst just to be sure... I asked him to combine the CT scan and the internal probing sonogram so I could get them all over at once. (You have to have a full bladder for the cyst scan, and FRANKLY, um - no. It's hard. Last time they made me wait 25 minutes and I almost made a pond in their waiting room.) August is also my boob smashing 3D check up and bone density check up. It's been almost three years since Dolly had her cancer removed and I had my metal breakdown/mid-life crisis. Ah, time flies when you're having body parts take a crap!

August 3, 2021 - There have always been toads in the dog pen for as long as we've had a dog pen. Jake loved the toads and didn't bother them but would study them closely and was quite entertained by them. We used to call the toads "Jake's little buddies" when he was still with us. Norman on the other hand...found two baby toads, just little dudes, and followed them around until he decided to shake hands with them and BAM - his huge paw smashed the poor things. Squish. Sigh. No more baby toads in the dog pen. Norman was confused as to why they stopped moving and looked for them for quite a long time...

The trip to get my husband's TEP device changed went well, but the weekend was no fun at all. Friday night the valve was stuck to open so he couldn't even swallow without getting liquid in his trachea. I had to get a long wooden handled qtip to hold the hole shut so he could drink his thick smoothies I made him and drink water. (Thicker liquids didn't want to come in to his trachea as much.) Nope, no fun at all. I will buy a plug for that new one now - since it would be heck of a lot better for him and me when this happens again. It will happen again. There are rules to follow if your valve sticks - and Friday night we went through them the suggest five times to un-stick his valve. No luck. One of the things you are to do is drink an acid type beverage (such as Coke or coffee). When he did that - trying to hold the hole shut himself, it came spewing out like lava - foaming all over the place. (Only a little went into his lungs.) Ugh. Life. Whatdya gonna do? You are going to cover your hole best you can and carry on, right? Smile.

August 7, 2021 - We had thunder storms last night and Norman wasn't happy. At least he didn't try to crawl under the desk and 'hide' hide - he was just restless. I personally appreciate a good thunderstorm to sleep to as long as it is not tornado like, it is very relaxing.

My morning glories are going to town. They are quite prolific. Even more are sprouting. If I was smart, I would dead head the flowers so they would not produce so many seeds, but I will not do that. I like the chaos of the morning glory area. I took yesterday afternoon off of work and ran up to spend my coupons at one of my favorite flower places. I got a flat of petunias to replace all the dead and dying pansies and also got some other plants that look daisy like. (I just buy the things that call out to me. I have no clue if I am even qualified to plant them without killing them.) I planted them and got done just before it started raining. That will last me until fall.

The sandhill crane couple have been up to eat from the bird feeders. It is hard for them to get close to do that with Norman the defender and the neighbor doggies going out to potty. At least they've been back and this pleases me. No kids this year that they brought up. Norman barked and barked at them whilst in the dog pen. They looked at him with little concern. They know by now the pen keeps the idiots in.

I went to the chiropractor on Friday morning and explained the pain I've been in. He adjusted me and I go back on the 16th. It would be nice to NOT have my arm/elbow/wrist ache constantly. My shoulder blade area is feeling a wee bit better today. Getting old sucks. Not mentally - I mean - you get to a point where you understand things and don't get all flustered by things, but body wise - CRIPES! I am not complaining - I am happy to wake up breathing.

I suppose I will take Mr. Spazzoid outside to play. He is getting in to the laundry and pulling things off the tables. Sigh. Damned kids.

August 15, 2021 - What a beautiful weekend weather wise. Just stunning. Almost TOO good...

Yesterday my husband's family had the interment of my Mom in Law's ashes, then we gathered for lunch. I love my husband's family. His brother was there and all of his sisters. It was good to see them after being apart so long due to the pandemic. My husband was very quiet last night, though. He said he just wanted to 'relax' but he was feeling sad. (You are not married to a man for 41 years and not know when something is wrong.) He wanted to be left alone, so Norman and I gave him his space. (Hard to do in this house!) This morning he said he was sad because he felt like it was 'the end' of things - sort of. I understood what he meant. He had every right to feel down.

I used the power washer today to clean my plastic 'she shed' and I got FILTHY. When I took a shower I washed out at least 3 dead earwigs that I had blown back on myself. I originally only wanted to use the power washer on the paint on the old wooden shed (instead of sanding it) so I could start painting next weekend. Then I saw how gross my plastic shed was and, well....three hours later, she's much brighter and my hands are much sorer.

I got the results from my scans on line. Seems my left kidney has a 9 mm kidney stone and that size doesn't pass on its own normally - so when I talk to my doctor on Monday I am sure he will suggest blasting it (extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy) or they can actually surgically remove it. My CT scan showed that besides that stone, my kidneys, liver, lower lungs, bladder and other items in there look normal EXCEPT for my uterus. I have an 8 mm endometrial stripe on my uterus. I researched this (which one should never do because then you start to freak out and such) and since I'm post menopausal it could indicate cancer. This will also be discussed with my doctor on Monday. So there ya go - getting old sucks. We knew this but I just like to remind myself once in a while. Maybe I can get a bundle deal on a rock removal and hysterectomy.

August 16, 2021 - The sandhill canes were out front this morning and Norman did not bark at them. He knows I like those things now. He lets them be. HOWEVER, we have two baby toads again in the dog pen. Wee little dudes. Norman is so fascinated by them and I have to run interference so he doesn't squish them like he did their predecessors. He didn't mean to kill their prior siblings, he was just curious - 135 pounds of curious...Now he sniffs all the rocks and 'lumps' in the yard hoping it hops away.

My BFF sent me a picture of watermelon salsa that she made and it looked so YUMMY. I have looked up that recipe on line and there are so many different versions. Her version is "watermelon, cucumber, thinly sliced red onion, finely chopped jalapeno. The dressing is lime juice, sea salt, minced garlic, and a small amount of honey. It's addictive." I need to make a batch fresh salsa soon. It calls my name. I could eat fresh salsa for breakfast, lunch, and supper everyday of the year.

August 18, 2021 - My BFF sent me a video of the road outside her house in North Carolina! IT WAS A RIVER! I was so freaked out! I am happy she is on an incline on that mountain so her house didn't get flooded. Yikes - the South got hit hard with all the rain dumped on it by 'Fred' - my thoughts go out to everyone dealing with that!

I have to go an OBY-GYN to find out what we will do with my uterus and still have to see the urologist to discuss the rock in my kidney. I am on a hold pattern right now. I go for my re-check cancer breast scans on August 25th - so I think I've fully taken advantage of my insurance plan by now. Sigh.

August 22, 2021 - When I went to bed last night I announced to my husband, "Well, today was a productive day!" This morning it dawned on me that me saying "productive day" only means I didn't take a weekend day nap. Hahahahaha. I made myself laugh. I suppose I could have sat in my chair all day without taking a nap and I would still say it was a productive day. Ah, humans. The things we believe just to fool ourselves.

I made salsa yesterday. I love fresh salsa. As I announced in 1999 - Fresh Salsa and masturbation could cure all of the world's issues. I stick to that statement 'til this day. I had no intentions of making salsa yesterday until I ran to the store and on the way there decided to check out a veggie stand down the road. I ended up buying a bunch of jalapenos, green peppers, tomatoes. I had the other things I needed at home. When I got back to the house I washed all my veggies and got out my veggie-slicer-chopper-dicer-as-seen-on-TV apparatus and went to work. Ever since I first got that thing several years ago, it makes making salsa SO MUCH EASIER. I can't believe prior to that I chopped all that stuff by hand. Now I just prep the veggies, whomp 'em, and ta-dah - Salsa. I love it. So for a meal today we will be having salsa and chips and I got corn on the cob as well. (When it comes to fresh salsa, I could eat it by the bowl and not even need the chips, but hey - enhance your salsa the way you like it.)

My daughter sent me Snap videos of the Blue Angels from the Chicago air show yesterday. I do so love my jets. I cannot wait for my Thunderbirds (note the possessive way I think of the USAF Thunderbirds) at the Battle Creek Air show next year. Gosh, I hope covid takes a nap and backs off so an old woman can see her birds. I love all types of planes, though. When the WWII B17 flew in last weekend to our local Air Zoo, that was awesome too. I get so excited over planes. Not sure why? I sure wouldn't want to see a bomber coming to kill me after all...

My BFF sent me video earlier last Tuesday of a flash flood they had from all the rain they got from tropical storm Fred. OMG! Her road, front yard, and across the street were a RIVER. I felt so damned helpless. You could hear the rushing of water. I wanted to get a helicopter and save her. Of course they were fine, but not so much for others near her. I felt so bad for the southern states from all the flooding. Unreal. I am fortunate that I've never had to see that where we live. That was just freaky.

I will share the salsa with the male neighbors I have that help us out so much. They never take money for their work, ever. They are true friends. So you pay them back with returned love and food products. I need to make something that my friend Sue will eat, too. She is not one to like salsa.

August 27, 2021 - Well, now. I am about sick of my old,fat body, aren't I. My 3D mammogram came out FINE, mind you. I didn't even have to have the sonogram because the doctor who read the results said, "They are mostly all fat breast and they are fine." That was wonderful news and plus - hey - someone played with my boobs.

My bone density test, however - those results came in today...

If I may quote the results, "Compared to prior exam of 1/31/2019, there has been a significant decrease in bone density with a calculated loss of: -0.093 g/cm2, -7.2 % in the left total hip. No statistically significant change in the lumbar spine." Kudos to my lumbar spine, but my HIPS? I have always joked about 'throwin' a hip' over the years. Now I possibly could. Sigh. The suggestion from the test results was "Maximize vitamin D and calcium intake" so I shall. I am lax in that since my breast cancer treatment was over. Sigh. I have lost a lot of bone because I didn't think I had to take that many pills. I do - I do have to take that many pills... So, if you go in for breast cancer surgery (for the hormonal type of cancer) and you end up taking anti-hormone drugs and the doctor tells you to take Calcium PLUS Vitamin D - you'd better damned well do it. Lesson Learned. I apologize to my hips with sincerity. I wonder what will go wrong when I do maximize my Calcium/Vitamin D intake? Stay tuned for the adventures of old Sandy. Sigh.

Other than that bit of news - work was so BUSY this week. I MUST be getting old since I feel like I can't keep up. (However, I do like the chaos.) The day passes SO FAST when it is like that so I won't complain. I would also like to complain about the heat the last few weeks. What is Michigan, FLORIDA? I live in the Mitten because the temps tend to be tolerable. I HATE THIS HEAT. (The neighbors must hate it too, since I will wear as little as possible and honey - that ain't pretty.)

I am happy it is Friday night and my work computer is actually shut down. My husband is making the Hello Fresh meal he deemed Friday Worth, because Friday's is HIS DAY TO COOK. I reminded him of this fact earlier today and he said, 'So I guess I could..." Yes. Yes he can. I get Friday nights off. That's the deal. I see dinner is almost done - so I will go consume it and praise it and take my vitamins with it.

August 29, 2021 - I was going to wax poetic on being a Great Dane Mom this morning. I was feeling so much love for Gnorman and wanted to explain how I felt here on the blog, but then he just walked up to me to show me his whole HUGE FACE was covered in kitty litter, so I decided not to be so expressive about the joy of being his 'Mom' and all. What a mess. Hahahahaha. (Rocko the Cat went missing for several days a month or more ago, and since then will NOT go outside. We made up a back story how he was kidnapped by coyotes and forced into kitty slave labor but found a way to escape...) Since Rock the Cat no longer leaves the building, he poops inside. (He used to never poop in the litter box prior to his kidnapping...) Norman, being a dog after all, finds that this just makes for tasty nut covered tootsie roll treats for him...I find this behavior interesting because Norman HATES his own bowel movements. He will go a half mile around a pile of his own when retrieving a ball or toy outside. How can a dog who hates his own poop like a cat's poop? I want to know!!

I am so excited - my three sunflowers are blooming!! I've never grown them myself. I have purchased them pre-planted and blooming to plant near fall time, but these are 7 feet tall and I am so thrilled. They are all covered with morning glory vines since morning glories will trail up anything within their reach. I thought it was so cool the other night - I was out with Norman, not a breeze ANYWHERE and it was horrid heat and there was one morning glory vine moving frantically about on its own. I assume it was searching for something to grab hold of to climb farther. That was very fascinating. I am just fascinated by plants sometimes.

September 5, 2021 - September already. Go figure. I've given up totally on comprehending the passage of what humans consider time. Today is Sunday and it is a day in a long line of days that I've been blessed to be alive to see, right? Right.

November 5, 2021 - I apologize for my last October post there I was so whiny and drowning in a well of self pity. We are all entitled to a good bout of self pity but I do so hate doing that, yet I do from time to time. Sigh. Being human is perplexing. Maybe I will submit for a change of species - I'm thinking a cat...

We got in for my husbands valve change at University of Michigan on Wednesday. Bless that woman. She is so fast and good and all the way home I heard "That Teresa is f'ing awesome!" "I love Teresa!" My husband was a happy camper. I was so tired when I got home though. I think is was from relief, actually. He is able to drink again without it going through the valve into his trachea. It's the little things, not that nearly drowning is a little thing.

My husband got the first batch of fallen leaves sucked up and on the burn pile so it is official fall in my mind. Norman thought the huge pile of leaves was a bed of sorts and was having fun plowing through it. Gertie, Norman's girlfriend, also crawled under the pile. Kids. Hahahaha. So cute to watch.

I have my youngest son coming tomorrow to do my bidding in yard work. Bless his soul. My shoulder and elbow are aching and I'm in dire need of an adjustment from the Chiropractor. He tried when I went last time but that area in my neck gets locked up sometimes and he practically has to crawl on me to get it to adjust. He didn't crawl last time, so I feel it was not adjusted correctly. It's amazing how a nerve under pressure can make you ACHE SO MUCH. Ugh. I am calling this morning when they open and begging for an appointment.

We had our flu shots a week or so ago. One day of feeling kind of tired afterwards is worth it in my mind. I am just waiting for the shot that will reverse my age by 10 years... So far that's a no go. Wait, why just 10 years? Why don't they come up with a shot that takes you back to a time when you didn't wet yourself every time you coughed or bend over? Now that would be awesome science! Having an over achieving bladder is so hard...

Speaking of bladders and things in that general area, I go on the 15th for my D&C so they can get a better view of my aging uterus that seems to be a bother to them due to things they saw on the sonogram. I also get a cystoscopy at the same visit. So my uterus will be cleaned out and sent for testing and I will have a camera shoved up my urethra for a paparazzi session to see if there is cancer there (due to the repeating blood in my urine samples the last six months.) I am pretty sure insurance will be happy when this year is over. I am also pretty sure the orifices down there will be happy for them to be done and go back to being just plain old orifices.

November 13, 2021 - It snowed snowman show last night. Norman was out eating it like it was a snow cone. The whole WORLD is his snow cone today. The wet snow flattened my tall decorative grass on the side of the dog pen, and that bothered Norman a LOT. He has not eaten breakfast yet because something was DIFFERENT and Norman doesn't do different well. He has barely survived the time change.

In a few hours I get my hair cut and colored. HURRAY. It is out of control. I always put it off too long, and this time my bangs are all the way to my nose. I would say there is a good three inches that have grown out since my last visit. I will be good and schedule an appointment TODAY before I leave.

I have had such terrible pain in my left shoulder area and down my right arm. My elbow has been hurting so bad. I have had a huge issue when I attempt to sleep because there is no good comfortable position to ease the pain and for two weeks I wished I was a Barbie doll so I could remove my arms to help ease the pain. It has hurt since my last chiropractor visit. I have been using ice like it was going out of style. I managed to snag an appointment with my chiro yesterday morning. When he walked in to the room, I told him how bad it was and showed him exactly where the pain was starting at/emanating from on the naked poster dude. Then, I said the rudest thing I ever said to another humans, "If you can't find and if the issue, I will have to go to a real doctor." UGH! I apologized over and over again. A Chiropractor is a real doctor - they have to study as long as an M.D. does. I told him it was the pain talking and just felt horrid for being so cruel. At least he understood my pain and angst. He took his time checking me all over and when he got to a certain point, I literally screamed. "It's your T2 vertebra and we will fix that." Fix it he did and once again I made loud noises. When I left the office I cried. RELIEF. There is still residual nerve pain in my shoulder and elbow, but as bad as they were hurting for over two weeks it will take a while for them to calm down. Ice packs are my friends. When you've hurt for so long, finally getting even a little relief is orgasmic.

Monday I go for my 'nap' and they will do the D&C and then take pics of my bladder. I don't want them to find anything wrong, I really don't, but if they do I guess it's best that they find it now. I am sick of body parts taking a crap as I age. It is what it is, though. We will take this in stride and I will enjoy my drug induced nap.

HURRAY - NORMAN IS FINALLY EATING. That boy eats over 3 cups at a sitting of food three times a day. When he is NOT hungry, I worry.

My daughter will not be coming home for Thanksgiving. She wants to use that time off to go further in getting her dissertation done for her doctorate. It's either now or never. She can do it, I know she can. It is just overwhelming the amount of work that goes in to one of those things and I think she's just got stage fright at this point. SHE WILL DO IT. My oldest son told her she has to get it done since if she doesn't, he will throw it in her face like a good brother would for the rest of her life. Smile. The boys will be over for Turkey dinner most likely on Friday or whenever my oldest gets home from the road. Being a truck driver it is a crap shoot if he makes it home or not. Once she gets her Phd, we will celebrate Christmas like it is 1999.

November 16, 2021 - Tonight's supper was black bean soup (thanks to Hello Fresh). Very filling and delicious. Only once in a while do I NOT like something that much from Hello Fresh or they botch up something and forget to send something critical to the recipe. Other than that is has been a wonderful thing. My husband and I have been taking turns picking the five meals we will order every other week. I have been steering to more of the one pan or soup recipes. Smile. (What, me lazy?) I still have to fix what he orders, even if it is more complicated, but I did not have to figure out WHAT to fix.

The procedures went well on Monday. They found a spot they removed in my uterus but the doctor said he wasn't worried about it (but he did send it for testing). My bladder got a photo shoot, too - and that doctor said it was just FINE. I was so relieved. I didn't know how nervous I was inside until it was over and I wasn't nervous anymore. After the doctor went up my urethra, it developed stage fright. I would pee a little, but not all of it - I could feel that. It would just hurt me and make me curl up when I tried to urinate. This morning it was a bit better, but it still was not emptying fully. So today at work, I'm on a help call with my coworker and dear friend Sue and after a few minutes on the phone I literally thought I heard my bladder scream, "I HAVE TO GO NOW!" I told Sue I had to go to the bathroom (even though I was already starting to do that) and hung up on her. I did my best to walk cross legged in a Monty Python funny walk kind of way, kegel-ing all the way, trying my best to restrict that sphincter but failing miserably. When I made it to the bathroom that was all she wrote and I made a huge puddle. Sigh. I cleaned up the bathroom and myself best I could. I was SO happy no one was wandering around our end of the building. I was laughing the whole time because I could almost envision my kidneys and bladder smiling, high-fiving, and saying, "Phew! Finally! We were ready to explode!!" I scooted back to my office and shut down and came home to work. (I work from home in the afternoon anyway, so I just left a half hour early.) I let my coworker and dear friend Grace know I was exiting and why. I sat on an old plastic grocery bag on the way home, still shaking my head and chuckling to myself. Ah, life. Whadya gonna do? Smile.

November 17, 2021 - I made the mistake of reading the news on line. I have given up on 'news' for a long time, but I caved in and read a ton. Mistake. Ugh. Just sitting in my own little corner of the world, I find it overwhelming how stupid humans are becoming. When I see the news I think our species won't last much longer on this earth. I think we will systematically destroy ourselves. We seem to have a collective amount of stupid spewing all over causing violence, injustice, and chaos. I don't see this improving at all any time soon. It hangs heavy in my heart that we are all so - so - HUMAN. (insert very sad face here)

As disgusting as the news is and how I felt after reading it (since I had no answers to all of the chaos) I still feel happy about me and my immediate surroundings. I love the people I love. I am happy and overwhelmed by kindness on a daily basis. Why can't THAT type of behavior get out of hand in the world? Why can't all people go out and spread kindness to all? Why can humans accept other humans for who they are? I am glad my core self is still basically amazed by life - but damned if the world isn't trying to rip that away from all of us.

November 21, 2021 - I realized last night why I was lamenting the state of the Earth so much the other day. It seems that it doesn't matter how you feel, someone is going to call you on it - or your own brain will shame you for feeling that way. I saw a meme on Facebook this morning that was a good example on how I feel. It said, "Quit wasting money on going to Mars and plant a damned tree, already!" Sigh. I think we should do both. Yes, plant trees! YES - Try to get to Mars. If our species is supposed to survive, eventually humans have to leave the Earth but in the mean time we need trees. I mean, it is just common sense. Black people should NOT judge white people (now) on their ancestors ignorance and white people shouldn't judge black people based on the color of their skin. Both should strive to be GOOD HUMANS. Actions speak louder than words and always have. Go out there and be a damned good human. If you have money and want to go to space, then FLY your heart out, but also share the wealth with donations to a good cause on Earth. Just common sense... Humans have little of that now days. All I know about me is that "I feel love, all the time - all around me - all the time..."

Since I read about the fact that they've found that caffeine consumption has been proven to decrease the risk of stroke, dementia, and Alzheimer's disease - I've taken it quite literally and on Friday I drank a LOT of coffee. Smile. I was jiffin' by the afternoon. I decided then there must be a balance. I will continue with my normal coffee consumption instead of trying to become a cartoon Tasmanian devil.

Yesterday I took down my Halloween decorations (finally) and have started putting up Christmas. I normally am very firm about giving Thanksgiving it's due, but this year I failed. This is the first year in a lot of years I didn't put up all my turkeys and decorations for Thanksgiving.

I think I will drive in to the Dollar General and look for some garland to put on my shelves for Christmas. I know many people have not gotten their orders for Christmas yet - they are still sitting on the boats waiting to get unloaded in the harbors of California. I am not even sure why I want to go look for stuff - I have tons of 'stuff' already. I should just get my lazy buttocks upstairs and dig out my stuff.

December 3, 2021 - I got myself a new Ford Escape. It is most likely my last new car and should last me 'til I'm dead. I hope. It is a nice "Antimatter Blue" color so of course who wouldn't want something associated with the Universe??

Why did I do that you ask, when my 2017 Escape just got new tires and a tune up? Well, because #1 - I saw it on the Ford lot and it called to me and #2 - I have been wanting a decent car for my husband for so long because he's not too steady on his feet and getting in to and our of the Bertha, the Ford Taurus (my first new car I bought back in 2004) was so low to the ground and I had a constant fear I would come home from work and find him dead on the ground from falling down and not getting back up and cutting off his air supply to his breathing stoma. (We gave the Taurus to my youngest son to tool around in.) So, anyway - I found "Dory" at the Ford dealership, walked in and bought it because I knew it was meant to be. That seems to be my process or buying a car for myself. (Although, I confess, I did look it up on line first to find out what it did, what it had, etc.) Dory has just enough bells and whistles to impress but not so many I have to go back to college to learn how to drive it. My husband now has Loretta, the 2017 Escape, and he was THRILLED. Norman was happy too because the hubby has been taking Norman for short rides during the day while I am at work.

That being said, I am not used to driving Dory as far as picking her out of a parking lot and I had laughed out loud and peed a little today from laughing because I tried to get in to a dark colored small SUV and said, "I don't have a baby seat!" I'VE OPENED EVERY DARK BLUE/BLACKISH LOOKING COMPACT SUV in the parking lot since I got her. Hahahahahaha. "That's not my coffee cup...." "Wait - those aren't my gloves..." "Wait, I don't have that hanging from my rear view mirror..." Oh my. I humor myself.

Norman has had a growing spurt. He's still like 130 pounds, but he is 'filling out' and getting buff-looking. It has not helped his mental state as he's still either a ditz or a spaz puppy tard dog. I do love him though. He got sick a week or so ago and had to spent the day at the vet to be sure hew as OK and it about killed me. I think the size has something to do with being so 'Mom' about him - he's like my youngest son. We call my boys "his big brothers" and he did so enjoy having them over for Thanksgiving Friday. He loves all my kids. I just wish he would tone down the love on my neighbors as he will practically push poor Sue over as he loves her so much. Sigh. Maybe owning a Dane boils down to just waiting for a law suit...

I am excited it is Friday. I don't have to fix supper on Fridays. It is my husband job to fix supper on Fridays. I do so look forward to that every week. I have my Christmas stuff up in the living room and have put out some lights outside. I feel festive. (Especially on dark dreary days like today.) I have never figured out why I feel happier on darkish days as opposed to sunny days. Maybe it is because I'm an albino and the sun is my enemy? Smile.

December 8, 2021 - What an interesting Sunday I had. I was working on line Sunday when I was kicked off the VPN. Right at that moment I got a text from our senior network engineer about a high temp alert he got from our server room. I and the closest IT person to the plant, so I immediately packed up my laptop and went in to work. If the plant loses power, by all rights our generator should kick in but we still have to get the little portable air conditioner going to keep the servers cool. When I got to the plant, I was just amazed. The lights were phasing and it looked like a disco in the plant. Strobe lights and odd sounds of things trying to kick in but failing. Our phase protection for the plant was not working since the last big power seizure and was supposed to be fixed. It was not. I was trying to get the portable air conditioner on but the power would phase and cut out the generator and then it would die again and it would take 20 seconds or so for the generator to kick in. Up and down. I turned off the main power to the room to stop all of this but the damage was done. When servers shut down abnormally then attempt to start, then end, then attempt to start - well, it isn't pretty. Not pretty at all. The plant manager came in and threw the main switch to the plant until we could get the power company out there and our maintenance people in to the plant.

It turns out a squirrel (may he rest in peace) had shorted out fuses on the main pole, causing this havoc. It shouldn't have been a big deal for the server room, but with the phase protection not working, it just turned in to a squirrel induced disco party. Sigh. The guy from the power company said this was his third squirrel incident of the day. Squirrelmageddon. Ugh. Honestly, had you seen this whole thing you would have sworn it was poltergeist.

Once the power was back up I went back in and the network guy came in. Issues all over the place. Sigh again. I didn't sleep worth crap Sunday night. Monday I had to fix some issues from the abnormal shut down on my mainframe server. I also had to do more clean yesterday due to issues. This wouldn't have been an issue had I not been working on Sunday and had active files when the plant committed squirrel-aside. What does this tell you? Never work on the weekends?

I wonder if Amazon was brought down by a squirrel too? They are rising against us.

I went Monday for my re-check for the D&C procedure a few weeks ago. I've been having irritation "down there" and assumed it was a yeast infection. He tested and said no, not yeast. I did, however, have a tear down there from the procedure. I just have to doctor it. I told him I guess I'm not shocked, since that area of my body has not been called to duty in many, many years. The picture of the polyp he took out just fascinated me. It looked like a 'third boob' in my mind. Hahahahaha. He said it was only the size of the end of his thumb. I am glad it is out. Who knew you could get polyps in your uterus? Go figure.

My husband decided (after I have said NO! the last few years) to buy himself a 65" TV for Christmas. Ugh. Our house if very small. I think our living room may be able to handle it but it will mean massive changes to our current entertainment center and all of my pretty pretty shelves. This makes me sad. I don't want a huge TV blaring at me. I like our 48" goober. That was just right. However, he is retired and here 24/7 and he's never been one to 'do stuff' or 'go places' all his life, so if this will make him happy I say he can go for it. I will wait until he's done tearing up the living room and we'll see how it goes having such a huge target for Norman to slobber on and knock over. I am not helping, although I will be happy to clean in back of where the old entertainment center is as it has not been reachable for YEARS. I am sure I will be able to assemble a cat and maybe two dogs from all the crap back there.

December 12, 2021 - (I would like to state for the record that it seems cruel of me to type in my wee blog when so many people/families lost so much in the tornadoes down South. What a tragedy, and before Christmas and all. It would be a tragedy even if it wasn't Christmas. I am heart broken for those people. Times like this you realize we have no control over our time here on this earth.)

Norman woke me up at 5:44 this morning. He was hungry. Norman is a creature of habit so he knows I'M the one who feeds him breakfast so I'M the one who should be awake to do so. Sigh. There could have been 50 people in the house with perfectly good opposable thumbs at 5:44 and he would have STILL got me out of bed. The house is strewn with his toys from yesterday afternoon and evening. He didn't want to go out to play when the winds were so strong. He didn't like that one bit. It looks like someone blew up a Toys R Us factory in my house. (Norman has too many toys because Norman is very spoiled.)

I noticed when I was fixing Norman breakfast that I have my underwear on backwards. I am a large woman, so my underwear are large as well, and when they are reversed it is very uncomfortable. I have yet to go fix this situation, but I will when it is my turn in the bathroom. (My husband is in there now...)

Yesterday they replaced the phase protection unit at the plant I work at and I was ever so happy. So many issues with suicide squirrels and then just the bad phase protection unit in the first place. Sigh. At least this time we had plenty of time to shut things down natural like, not the hard crashes we've experienced due to the issue. I am still fixing some access path issues and corrupt data issues from when Mr. Squirrel decided life was just too much...

My Dear Friend from New York sent me a book. ("The Friend" by Sigrid Nunez.) I got it on Thursday afternoon. I had a vacation day on Friday, so I read the whole thing. It made me cry and laugh but mainly cry. I won't go into details here, but the book struck very close to my heart. Several times Norman would shove his huge face into mine because I was 'leaking' as if to say, "WHY ARE YOU LEAKING!?!?" It was good to cry out some emotions and cover it with the fact I was 'reading a book' and all. I woke up Saturday feeling weirdly 'cleansed' - mentally.

I had my blood work Friday morning. My A1c continues to go down which is good. Two other things were flagged as high or low. I will discuss this with my doctor this week when I go for my appointment. I wasn't going to look up the reasons why these things were high or low since them I would worry about them. I will let the doc tell me if it is something we need to investigate or react to on Thursday. I've had so many things probed, scraped, sonogram-ed, and poked I am not looking forward to the march towards old age. It think maybe they experiment on us old geezers sometimes. Insert crooked smile here.

Thankfully at this early hour the wind has stopped. It was fierce yesterday. I listened to the police scanner for a while while the wind was going at it and there were so many calls for downed power lines. Those poor people earned their money yesterday. I am hoping to get Norman the Bored outside to work out some of his pent up hyper-ness. I hope the doggies next door come out too, which will cause Norman to do zoomies and that is always good for working out his inner turmoil of being stuck in the house. We also need to fix the inflatable snowman out front who I took out of commission to protect him from the high winds. He had pulled up his ground stakes.

December 25, 2021 - Merry Christmas. It was a nice, quiet day here. We took Norman out several times to play, and he got to play with the neighbor doggies and my neighbor's brother's dogs. Norman was in heaven. He had a herd of playmates. We took him for a ride as well. Norman LOVES to ride. He loves to sniff the air. It was sunny and not too cold out today, so he didn't have to freeze any body parts off to sniff the air.

I was looking forward to sleeping in yesterday, but Norman got us both up at 4 a.m. Why, I have no clue. As soon as we were awake, he went back to bed. Argh. Yesterday was our Christmas with the kids. They came over early, so we had all day with them. It is always fun to have all the kids here. I love my kids. They are very funny in their own right which is entertaining. They also get along very well, so I love to sit back and listen to them interact. We opened presents and played a game and day drank. (Side Note - I'm too old to day drink. I am also too old to night drink. I am just not a good drinker anymore.) We had BBQ meatballs and pinwheels and cheese dip and various other finger type foods for lunch. My son brought a lovely cake (his best friend's wife is a kitchen or cottage baker, and she makes wonderful cookies and sweets.) The cake was for my daughter who just got her PhD in behavior analysis - after putting it off for several years - so the cake said "About Damn Time..." which was funny. It was so nice having them here. This is the first Christmas since they were born that they didn't spend Christmas Eve at home here. Normally they would sleep over, but this year they all had furbabies to go home to and take care of and like I said, after day drinking - I was very pooped out by six.  They are adults now and Christmas will change - the traditions will change. None the less, it was wicked fun to have them here. I have great kids.

Norman got very spoiled yesterday with all that attention from his older 'siblings' so today he was staring out the front window and pacing and such. He wanted them to come over again. It was kind of sweet, but sad. I know we are boring for a young dog. And like I said above, we played with him a lot and took him for a ride and he seemed more calm by tonight.

December 26, 2021 - I did get to see my daughter defender her dissertation via a Zoom meeting on the 16th. She did a fine job. I have no idea what she was trying to prove, however. I would have to read her whole paper to understand. They loved it. The sent her out of the room afterwards and talked amongst themselves and then called her back in to say it was truly the new gold standard for a doctorate paperwork. She did well. Very well. She is now my PhD or DR daughter. It was a long time coming. I am very proud of her.

I just watched a video my son sent me of Norman opening up his toy from my daughter. Norman stood over me on the couch watching as well, although I was not aware of this at the time. I kept the sound off so he couldn't hear what I was doing, but he KNEW the kids were there in that picture and he started crying and wandering around the house looking for them. Awww... Seriously, we have totally spoiled a huge animal, but this huge animal is almost human to me - so I assume it's OK, right?

I did get to sleep in this morning until six, although Norman tried very hard to wake me up before that. He was hungry, and in his world "Mom" feeds him breakfast and supper and "Dad" fixes him lunch. It is not proper to ask "Dad" to make breakfast because that would disrupt the space time continuum of course and Norman is far too smart to let that happen. Sigh.

I watched the ISS pass over this morning. It was kind of hard because it is 27 degrees out and my eyeballs kept fogging over, but by golly - I was going to see stars if it killed or blinded me. I missed the launch of the James Webb telescope launch on Christmas morning. I mean, it's a launch and we've all seen launches but I think people like to watch launches just like people like NASCAR so much, there may be something that goes wrong. I believe it is doing quite well now, headed to where it will see thing you and I could never see. They have worked on this SO LONG. Go forth and view our Universe!

When the kids were here we were discussing all the space junk orbiting Earth. I wonder why SpaceX or some independent firm doesn't go 'farm' that stuff. It has to be worth a lot of money due to all the metals in the old satellites and such. I am sure this has already been designated as a project by some firm. Is the crap in space that circles our Earth free range, or does the country of origin 'own' it even up there? I would think if crap is up there it would be free range and first come first serve now since it it out of all territories. It would be nice to know someone was trying to collect it all. (Then again, if they are pulling stuff out and accidentally bump something that bumps something else and it causes chaos in the pattern up there, that isn't good either...This is why I am not president of such companies.)

I have said before I am trying to avoid the news at all cost, but you have to stay somewhat in touch with what is going on from time to time. Every time I do 'catch up' on it I regret it. Ignorance is bliss for a reason. When the kids were discussing the state of the world when they were here I said (or wanted to say) that I was sorry I brought them into such a mess of a world. I wonder how many parents have thought that over the years? Sigh. The kids did not blame me for bringing them into this world during the discussion, mind you, which made me feel better. Every generation for thousands of years has to make their own way and deal with things, but our collective mental states make for more chaos and stupidity as time goes by...very sad.