Page last updated on 3/1516

I'm Back...
3/16/15 - Who would have thought I could keep my mouth shut this long? I have SO missed blogging. I have missed it with the white hot intensity of a 1000 suns. It's my party and I'll blog if I want to... So I return to blogging.

The other day, my coworker Judy said I was being negative. "You've been so NEGATIVE lately."  This hurt my feelings in a negative way. I walked away from her door in a negative mood, negatively thinking that if she thinks I've been negative, then I had best figure out why...

#1) I'm 54 and moody from menopause. I read somewhere that this process can go on for up to 14 years. Really? Ugh. Hasn't it been going on that long already??
#2) I've been sick for over a week. I can't smell nor taste and for a fat woman such as myself, this is perhaps worse than going to work naked with glow in the dark neon tattoos all over my buttocks.

My boss said I have been negative for a long time -  since I quit smoking. "You're no fun anymore!" he said. That has been a while ago now, so wouldn't the effects of the initial loss of nicotine be gone by now? I believe so. How does quitting a bad habit make you negative? (Of course the first few weeks were horrid and one tends to wish for a taser to use on anyone one meets and one plots the end of all human existence, but other than that, those feelings are long gone...)

I think I'm negative because everyone is stupid. (OK, that may be #1 above talking.) I think I've been negative because I quit blogging, to be honest. I had several readers of my blog, and just knowing my friends were reading me and what I was thinking made me feel, well - BETTER. So, in an effort to be less negative and feel better, I'm back. Be afraid. Be very afraid...

Bathed in blue fairy light...
3/17/15 - I have had some disease since 3/6/15. Started out in the chest plus I lost my voice. It stayed in my chest and sent out troops to my brain and sinus area while still occupying the chest and throat and then came the fever. It decided to stay and just yesterday I noticed a mailbox near my nose and a welcome mat on my chest. I think whatever I have is staying. I feel better, I am just very, well - NASAL and sound NASAL. (I liken the sound of my voice WHICH IS VERY LOUD IN MY OWN HEAD to a foghorn of sorts.)

In an effort to fix said sinus infection and relieve the swelling of my sinus membrane I have increased tenfold the amount of anti-inflammatory foods I eat. I bought the hottest salsa I could find (made from habenero peppers and other peppers with a large warning signs on the jar and pictures of fire and such) and have been eating that on top of my scrambled egg. I can 'feel' the burning but I can't TASTE it. Nope. I can eat that crap right from the jar by the spoonful and it doesn't even PHASE ME. This is WRONG. I should be on the floor trying to make my way to a phone to dial 911 where I can barely choke into the receiver "...gurggle, ack..hack...gag.....puke..."

I took my husband to Noodles and Company last night and got their Thai hot pot. Normally that brings tears to my eyes and pee to my pants when I choke from coughing, but NUTTIN'!!  Not a darned thing. Sigh. Do I sound negative? I'm probably being negative. Good.

I did call my doctor's office yesterday but my doctor is off on vacation, probably able to smell the beach and ocean and margaritas and such. I will call back today and take who I can get and not be so fussy. There must be some form of antibiotic they can prescribe that will attack this creature living in my sinus area. Watch for me in the next episode of 'Snot Squatters' coming to a T.V. near you.

The neighbors got a puppy. It is a pit bull mix and blonde and ADORABLE. It is also a SPAZ. To say she is hyper is an understatement. She is happy to see EVERYONE and wants to run. She has gotten loose a few times and thanks to Ron and Sue and Sophie the Dog, they managed to get her back under control. This will be an interesting summer. I adore petting the dog and watching the dog, but it is like when I see babies in the store - I OOOOOOOOO and AHHHHHHHHHHH but I walk away since 'cause they are not mine. Smile.

Today is taser Tuesday and I get my next to last laser facial hair treatment. Is it working? Well, I still have a mustache and beard, so I would say "Not totally" but in my mind all the pain and suffering MUST have reduced the volume of said beard, right? Please? I saw a commercial for some 'remove your hair at home treatment' and it showed someone in a chair getting laser treatment to their face and it looked so peaceful and easy - like blue fairy light dancing over their face - and I laughed out loud. "Really? I beg to differ!!" It is painful and you say 'OWWWWCH" a lot. Don't let commercials fool you. Fairies carry weapons of mass destruction...

You have to stop and smell the pond scum...
3/18/15 - Taser Tuesday went well. The nurse was a bit riled by the fact she is not busting my beard as much as we had hoped. Oh well. She did it full tilt (and many words were said loudly by me to indicate the level of pain of said laser burning into my face) then she dialed it down and re-did it 'over the trouble areas' as it were. One more visit after this. I had to try, right? I also went back in to the doctor's office later in the afternoon because I wanted to see why my sinus infection was still there. Seems I have ear infections as well. So now I'm on a stronger antibiotic that you have to take with food since it rips the lining out of your stomach and runs it up the flag pole to let it flap in strong winds. I sure hope this works.

I had to laugh. While I was at the doctor's office waiting for my check up on my snot factory, there must have been 15 people come in for the laser/taser nurses and they were split in to two categories. Young, beautiful women going in for what you know was either bikini line hair zapping or underarm hair frying, and older women such as myself going in for beard tasering. (You could tell about the beard part because when you are done with that the areas they barbequed are bright red for about 15 minutes.) I hope those cute young things enjoy the hair free romps on the beaches while they can. One of these days they are going to be just like me.  

I have possession of my grandcat, Rocko. He moved in with Grandmeow a while ago. He is doing better and better all the time. Last night we had an argument, however. He thought he deserved what was on my plate and I made it perfectly clear he was quite mistaken. We had a slap fight and stare down. He is right up here by me this morning, so I think he doesn't hold a grudge. His personality is taking its sweet time to come out, but out it comes. Since we had to put Taffy down, Rocko is slowly understanding that he is now alpha kitty in the house. He also allows Jake the Dog to 'kiss the kitty' with gusto without trying to rip the dog's face off. On the plus side, Rocko has started to purr when I pet him. On the down side, Rocko produces enough hair to make an exact copy of himself every 24 hours.

Yesterday there was the bluest sky you could order up and lines of jet streams in the air. Very Cool. After this went away, there were no clouds in the sky all day. It was quite beautiful - just pure BLUE. (Trivial Note  - Older people such as myself tend to have floating things in their eyes so when we look at such a lovely pure blue sky or look at really bad pure white fog for that matter,  we see lots of little things darting around our eye lenses as if you are looking at pond scum water under a microscope at high magnification. Seeing the eye amoebas did not take away from the awesome BLUE of the sky, however!) 

I think we humans are living in at the best possible time in this Universe. We are able to enjoy the Earth (and have yet to blow it up although that can come at any time because humans tend to be worse than animals with our aggression and just plain STUPID). Humans have enough technology to get a glimpse of what is 'out there' in the great beyond. Humans can comprehend a small part of the vastness and greatness of the cosmos. We are in between mass extinctions on Earth, so if you are alive right now, remember, it's a wonderful life. Really. You just need to stop and look up at the floating things from time to time to appreciate it all.

The deer poop is always tastier on the other side of the property line...
3/20/15 - I can smell once again. Finally. Blessed are Thou, oh Antibiotic! Smell and TASTE! I had french toast last night for supper and had tears of joy from tasting the cinnamon. The things humans take for granted.... I have yet to build up the gumption to go try that HOT salsa I got to help break up the snot when I could not taste nor smell. I don't think I would survive it now...

I wanted to 'play' last night with one of my animals. Jake the Dog does not 'play' (although he will attempt to romp and frolic for his girlfriend Sophie) so trying to get him to fetch was out of the question. I did TRY though. I filled his Kong bone with treats and tossed he. He retrieved it and went into the bedroom to chew on it and soak the end of our bed with drool. Sigh. Rocko the Cat will (on a rare occasion) run around but last night when I tied a toy mouse to a string and ran back and forth with it behind me, he just watched me do it with one eye brow raised like Mr. Spock and meowed, "That's not logical." The whole house if full of party poopers.The urge to get a kitten or a monkey is strong...

I won a $400 'weekend getaway' during the team building week at work not too long ago. I am been plotting on how to use it. I just have to spend the money on a trip and turn in slips to get reimbursed when the time comes. Hopefully later this summer I can come up with a plan to get away. (That is, if the Mother Ship would JUST get back with me...geez.)

I just went out to clean up Jake's pooh, Sophie joined Jake while I was doing that and off they ran. Then I saw the poor three pound neighbor lady walking Lucy the Very Strong Puppy. Jake and Sophie also saw Lucy and they buzzed Lucy and Lucy (did I mention she is VERY strong) broke free of the three pound neighbor lady. Sigh. The chase was on and the poor neighbor lady will no doubt be late for work. They ran and ran around Ron's back yard. Jake gave up and meandered to the back lots. (As I've recently stated, he is no party animal. There was feces to eat back in the wooded area so he left the puppy party.) When Sophie and Lucy ran up on to Ron's porch the neighbor lady was able to grab Lucy. Lucy proceeded to pull her to me because it was then Lucy saw I was there. (I like that little Lucy, but really - SHE IS STRONG like all pits. Watson my Granddog is strong like that. If I ever fell in a well, I'd want those two to pull me out!) The three pound neighbor lady finally got Lucy in their home and off to work she went. Sophie tried to help me herd Jake back to my house, but when poop is present, it takes more than the allure of Sophie to get Jake to pay attention. Sigh. I went in the house and got a leash which is a sure sign to Jake that he broke the law and is in trouble. He started running to the house at a high gallop. He is currently sprawled out on the living room floor, panting heavily, looking at me as if to say, "Did you see me run?...pant pant pant...Man, there were treats... EVERYWHERE out there in the trees! ... pant pant pant drool....Did you see? Did you see? I ran with that dog...pant ack ack pant...she didn't want treats....slobber. That small one is stupid....hufffff pant huffffff...I ate the treats in the grass...today is a good day...snore..."

Humans should be this happy with little piles of of life's poop, don't you think?

Where the hell is my magic wand?!!!
3/24/15 - I do enjoy herb tea at work or decaf green tea. Every morning I steep myself a large glass full of tea to sip on after it cools. As you can see to your left, I REALLY WANTED THAT TEA. That poor tea bag did not stand a chance. (I AM THE ALL POWERFUL SANDY!! ARRRGHHH!! - insert beating chest here...)

This last weekend I was reading an article about Celestial Seasoning teas as well as Lipton and tons of other tea companies having 'over the legal limit' of pesticides in their teas as well as having high levels of fluoride.  If you read one article about it, it will eventually point you in the directions of PURE AND NATURAL teas to buy and if you read another article it points you in the direction of a different PURE AND NATURAL tea. If you check out the claims of pesticides and fluoride levels on the actual pages of the companies accused, they will tell you the other people are full of crap. Sigh. So who do we believe? It makes me sad.

I am also sad to see Ted Cruz running for President. I normally don't talk politics, but that man is crazy. I hope this is just a tactic to take our attention from something else the party is doing. You know, throw Cruz in our faces to distract us while they bury bodies in the back yard sort of thing. Sigh. Being part of the human race is very stressful at times.

My husband just called to report that his breaks gave out on the car on the way to work. He continued on to work but wanted to tell me he was not sure if he could drive it home via back roads tonight or not so I am to be at the ready this afternoon to go get him. It is always something, I tells ya. Too bad it wasn't warmer so he could drive his motorcycle to work, huh? One more thing to ponder over, I suppose. My oldest son is not working at this time - he had an attendance malfunction at his place of employment and was terminated. So I have that to ponder about as well. My first born has always been a worker - sometimes working up to three jobs at once to survive. I hope he finds something soon. There is a lot of work out there, but getting something you will be happy with is another thing, I'm sure. Until he finds something, I am required by law to worry, and worry I will. No insurance and no income and no unemployment... my stomach hurts. Sigh. I will worry too much since I am a Mom, so I have to remember stuff happens and I did not come with the power to fix all things nor can I correct every injustice in the world. I am not smart enough to solve every problem I encounter and I cannot thwart every evil as I perceive it. I will, however, carry on and do the best I can. Really, it is all any of us can do.

So... get out of my way or I'll rip you up like some pesticide filled tea bag, dammit.

Blinded by the light...
3/27/15 - Friday. The last day of the work week (for me that is). It has been quite the week. The network guy has been battling a viral outbreak on our servers. I pity him. It was caused by poor decisions made by end user(s) bit whadya gonna do? This will definitely up the network guy's experience in the field of network security and we all know on the job "emergency learning" is always the best. (And this is all happening just one week before the heads of IT and such come over from Japan to visit us...ugh.) If you get a chance, you have to watch this advertisement from a company called Sophos Labs because you will laugh, but IT IS SO TRUE!!!!! Click here for the video. Really, so true yet one must laugh.

To the right is a picture of my Granddaughter Zora and my other 'grand dog' Sophie. Sophie belongs to Ashley who is one of my daughter's best friends. I just adore that picture. How could one not? Sophie looks like she is owning Zora. Hahahaha. Hopefully I will see the grand dogs this weekend. Watson has been going through heart worm treatment (since the wee one did not take the poor guy in for heart worm prevention last year) and today I think is the day that we find out if he is heart worm free. When you are getting treated for heart worms (as a dog, that is) you can't run around like an idiot and you have to take it easy as the worms break up in your blood stream, so Watson has not be allowed to romp or play with other dogs in a long time. He loves to maul Zora so we can't merge those two together again until Watson gets a clean bill. Keep your fingers crossed. The picture to the left is a cute one of Zora, too. Huskies have such adorable faces.

The neighbors are putting up lights all over their house. I believe it is because they feel there was some invasions of sorts while the man was off on business and the woman reported that people were walking around the yard and looking in windows? I would have to verify this story again, but now there is a new large mercury light on the garage that lights up the greater tri-state area quite well. Add that to the mercury light on the farm across the road and the one to the north - there is no way I am doing any stargazing here anymore. Sigh. (I thought it was extremely funny because the front of the Sky and Telescope magazine I just got says, "NIGHT WATCH - HELP MEASURE LIGHT POLLUTION..." I believe my response to that survey would be TOTALLY and UTTERLY POLLUTED...

I'm not always this stupid...
March 30, 2015 - The weekend if over. I know this because Rocko the Cat would not shut up this morning starting at four fifty five a.m. so I got up and looked at the calendar which indicated that today was Monday - hence my conclusion the weekend was over. (Like Sherlock Holmes I am...)

My daughter and soninlaw were home for a day this weekend. I got to have a Mommy/Daughter day with my girlie. We had fun. We spent WAY too much time going around crafts stores. Our legs hurt 'cause we just walked and walked and ooooo'd and awwwwwwww'd. That was on Saturday. When we got home from the store we 'crafted' and made a shadow box frame art for my daughter's bathroom. PLEASE NOTE, I NOW OWN A GLUE GUN AND I KIND OF KNOW HOW TO USE IT - I MEAN I KNOW HOW TO PLUG IT IN AND EVERYTHING - SO YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WARNED!! THINGS WILL BE STUCK TOGETHER, EITHER ON PURPOSE OR MOST LIKELY BY ACCIDENT...

On Sunday we had a family herding breakfast. I was impressed my boys showed up so early. My husband and I thought they wouldn't make it on time. We must have more faith in the boys. (Especially when there is food involved!) I tried a baked french toast recipe and we had an egg and sausage casserole as well. (Made them both up the night before so all I had to do was stick them in the oven in the morning.) I was not impressed with the oven french toast per say, but it was edible. I will change a few things on the recipe next time I attempt to make it. I booted the kids out at noon and spent the rest of the day just being uber lazy.

Both my boys still have residual sinus and ear issues from their bout with the viral evil that was whatever we all had a few weeks ago. I just finished the last of my super antibiotic and my sinus cavities surrendered to the invading drugs, but not my ears. The are still full of something and I am constantly yawning trying to 'pop' them.
 

The sun will come up tomorrow and no one will find the body...
April 3, 2015 - March came in like a lamb and left like a lamb which means that April will be filled with torrential rains and earthquakes. (Most likely Yellowstone will blow as well.) Until that all happens, it is very foggy and I can  see it is very foggy because the neighbor's mercury light accents the haze so well. I have a chiro appointment this morning so I will have to leave early because old eyes and solid white equals "milk in a fish bowl with small dust bunnies floating everywhere" visual effects. I eventually will need curb feelers...

It has been a frustrating week. I was full of anger and angst and now I'm just tired and indifferent. Now I just don't care. I am sure that is one of the stages people go through when stuff like this happens. Hate, anger, a sense of loss, indifference, urge to take revenge, taking revenge, blood spatter, jail time...

Our network engineer turned in his week and two days notice. He is leaving us with NO network engineer. Nowadays that is not good. He was not the best at sharing what he did or how he did it and he rarely shared what is in his huge brain so we're basically screwed. He says he will work for us as a contractor until we find someone. Um... Sigh. I am sure we will be fine. We can always hire a third party. We also have Japanese overlords who probably could swoop in and help. (Actually, they will be here on April 13th, so who knows...) At this point I feel he was just standing on the shoulders of a drowning man - that drowning man being the company and personally I feel like I have boot prints on my shoulders as well. Maybe this will all turn out for the best. Once everything goes down and breaks and we are dead in the water from a technology point of view, perhaps we will all leave our desks and wander out in the sunlight and romp and play and be kids again.

My friend Kathy sent me SUMMER daffodils. I did not know there were such things. I  will plant them after the last frost and I will have late blooming daffodils which makes me very happy. I keep checking to see if the daffodils are starting to come up yet that I do have planted, along with the hyacinths. I have heard the peepers in the swamp areas and they are LOUD and this pleases me. There is hope, I tells ya...HOPE...and on that positive note I am off to shower my mop of Annie hair and start this day like Sgt. Maxwell Klinger from M*A*S*H running through a field of daisies. (Feel free to join me!) 

I feel the Earth ...  move ...   under my feet.....
May 3, 2015 -  What an exciting weekend. Well, exciting for me - I normally don't have a 'life' per say and I'm boring as all get out so this was the best weekend ever. We saw our first hummingbird, for starters. Yay! He stayed a long time. I had one feeder out with store bought stuff and one feeder out with homemade stuff. He preferred the homemade. Now I have a fuchsia on one side of the pole and fresh homemade sugar water on the other. Bring on the hummers!

I hired my wee one to do heavy rock work for me around the house last week and he came over Saturday to finish up. He could bring Watson with him (my Granddog). I've not seen Watson in MONTHS because someone who will not be named did not treat his dog with heart worm preventative last summer so my husband and I paid a nice chunk of change to treat poor Watson. It took three tries before he was dubbed 'free and clear' so he could come to Grandma's house, FINALLY. (He was quite happy to see us. Grandma buys him special food and Grandma buys him toys and Grandma has treats. He knows this. He is no fool.) I love that damned dog.

To have your first hummingbird of the season on the same day as your first earthquake ever, well, for me that is living life on the edge, baby. I was so excited. My wee one reminded me that most people are NOT happy when there are in an earthquake. I couldn't help it, I was just thrilled. (You all knew I was a cheap date before, but this sort of proves it further...) The rest of the day flew by as I mowed the yard with headphones on and I rocked and I rolled. I am sure I annoyed the neighbors with my off tune singing. The hosta plants my neighbors gave me last year are already 3 inches high. Everything turned GREEN and it was a grand, lovely day. I loved Saturday.
Today I used up the edging thingys to start a circle around the septic tank opening cover flower bed. I ran out. I have more coming, but for now I'm at a standstill. I planned on planting flowers this week. I will have to wait for the two new boxes of edging thingys to arrive. I might have also purchased some more solar crap to put in my yard as well. Ron said he can see I have a thing for items on stakes. I do. I have tons of solar powered birds, flowers, and other shapes. I have a ton of flapping winged butterflies and bugs and other odd things on stakes shoved in front of my house. (When I pulled in my driveway today and saw how the front of the house looks, it dawned on me that it looks like a bored old lady lives here. Ugh.) Oh well, at least it makes me happy, and we've determined before that is all that matters, right?  I even ordered myself several bags of glow in the dark edging rocks and plan on sprucing up my elf tree doors displays. I am in heaven. If I could just stare at the crap in my yard all day I'd be very happy. (Remind me I said this when I'm bitching about putting them all away in the fall.)

Today was spent working for several hours on line in the morning and then going to Home Depot, Lowes, and Mernards in search of the perfect hanging plants for my post out front. I did not find anything I liked. I will know when I see them if they are perfect or not. (Perfect for ME, that is. I care not what others may think.) Tomorrow I will take my 20% off coupon to the local nursery and see what I can find. When dishes were done and laundry was caught up, I paid bills on line and I just got out of a HOT bath.

It was by far a grand, relaxing weekend.

I have been eating proper like so I don't get any more warning shots from Sir Liver. He has been good to me now that I've been being good to him. Mutual Admiration Society, as it were. (I had half a bagel with cream cheese at work the other day, and I had a spasm. Sigh. Apparently Sir Liver did not appreciate the real cream cheese.) I miss my gallbladder, I truly do. I never appreciated it before and now I miss it. The liver could just dump its bile into the gallbladder when it felt like it and the gallbladder distributed it without bothering the poor liver and I could eat whatever I wanted. Oh well, all I have to do now is live until I don't, so I will quit complaining!

The weather guy just said that Thursday and Friday it will be in the 80s. Wow. I will be a watering fool! I hope we get rain before hand, however.

This morning I couldn't sleep. I was up by 3:30 a.m.  I was having night sweats from being such an awesome older female. I turned the fan directly on me to cool off. I tossed, I turned. Nothing was working, so I am up for the day, it seems. I need to survey everyone to find out what the coolest pillow is (not cool as in HIP or ALL THE RAGE sort of thing but cool as is keeping my head from sweating to death until I dehydrate and set the mattress on fire...).

I'm a Champagne Supernova...
May 6, 2015 - Yesterday I played in the rain and planted flowers. I was soaked head to toe. Those who know me well know I love getting dirty. I am PIG PEN INCARNATE! It was my kind of planting weather. All little flower beds should be done whilst it is raining outside. (I got so messy I even had to wash my tennis shoes.) Another rainy day perk - I had a male rose-breasted grosbeak on my feeders! Yay! I haven't seen one since 2007. (I looked it up in my old blog - so I KNOW!!)

I was awake AGAIN at 3:30 a.m. this morning. Sigh. What is up with that? I finally went back to sleep around 4:35 (last time I saw the clock) but would LOVE to know what is waking me up at that time. I was hot, yes. Maybe it is just the fact I am a woman and I have been heating up more and more as is the case with older women. After I went pee at 3:30 and came back to bed, I could feel the heat radiating from the mattress. This too shall pass, but I wish there was a way to utilize this energy seeping out of me. WAIT - Maybe I'm going super nova! That is something I had not thought of before!  Soon I will explode and create a beautiful nebula! My super nova heat brings all the boys to the yard....

I ordered 'glow in the dark rocks' from Home Depot. I saw them online when we were looking for edging/landscape stuff. I ordered five bags. I was thinking they would be: #1 - Real Rocks coated in some kind of phosphorescent type of chemical and #2 - about a 5 - 10 pounds to each bag. (Did I read the description? NO! I saw 'glow in the dark' and I pointed and clicked and didn't care now. did I?) What I got was five wee bags of plastic 'rocks' and the five bags fit in to a UPS padded envelope that the UPS guy just flung in between the door and screen. Hahahaha. Oh well, I plan on using them in an outdoor display - a form of a fairy garden with little plastic Minions. I have that stretch of rocks by the front door I can't put anything with a stake in due to the metal or whatever buried underneath, so I will be creative otherwise. I also put a bag out by my front tree Elf Door. I didn't see them glowing last night, but it was gloomy all day. I'm sure they did not have time to charge up. (OR, the neighbor's bright mercury light just doesn't allow for a dark enough environment for stupid plastic rocks to glow? Hmmmmm, one must ponder...)

...the wind beneath my wings...
May 7, 2015 - The glow in the dark plastic 'rocks' looked awesome last night in the dark! I should have attempted to take a picture, but my camera isn't that type of fancy. Below are pictures of my 'fairy' gardens. Cheap fairy gardens, mind you - but MY fairy gardens, nonetheless.

(Golum has moved outside with his significant other to his new summer place.)

(Note the glow in the dark pebbles that actually glow in the dark. Pretty cool at night)

I told you before that when the bird pandemic breaks out, it will probably start in my yard. I love to watch the birdies. Yesterday was another awesome day, bird wise. I had my FIRST BALTIMORE ORIOLE EVER!! Woot. (I dragged my husband out to the store to get me an oriole feeder.) To keep the oriole interested until I had a feeder, I put out oranges on sticks. A hummingbird checked that out right away. There was also a rose-breasted grosbeak at my feeders! I AM THE BIRD QUEEN! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!

The kids and I decided that will will combine Mom and Dad's day on the Memorial Day weekend - two birds with one stone as it were. (Keeping with the bird theme...) I have to come up with what we want to eat but that is a few weekends away so I have time to think about it. (What do I want? What I really want someone to hit a cow with their car at a high speed to tenderize it and grill it for me plus have a cake made totally of butter cream frosting,  but in reality I will have to settle for something with a lot less fat content.)

..why do birds suddenly appear...and fog...and that burning sensation....
May 8, 2015 - Today we go out to breakfast with my in-laws and I anticipate a good visit. I love my husband's family and I'm also very hungry, so this is a win - win.

Oh, my - yesterday was unique. The perfect kind of day for me. It was very warm out - got in to the mid 80s.I went out in the a.m. to plant my summer daffodils from my friend, Kathy. Before I went out, I put on some L'Oreal 'Youth Code' cream I had purchased to help fade the age spots from my hands. (It has done nothing to my age spots, mind you...) That stuff has sun screen in it, and I burn easy - being the fair skinned lass that I am - so I put some on my face. (Keep away from eyes, it said. I did. I can read, or at least COULD...)

I was out sweating in the sun, and sweat gets in my eyes. It burned so I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. After I did that, there was a foggy haze over everything. I assumed that my intense heat interacted with the weather and I had a flash over on my eyes - sort of like getting out of a super hot shower in the winter and having your eyeballs fog over for a second. The haze continued. I put on my sunglasses and continued by mowing they yard. With the sunglasses on, I didn't notice the light diffusion in my vision like I did when I took off the glasses. I got the whole front part of the yard mowed, and finally couldn't take it anymore - my right eye was burning pretty good. I got off the mower and came in and looked in the mirror.

There was a big,white circle to the bottom right of my iris. REALLY? I swore out loud, "What the?? Is that an instant cataract?" It scared me for a split second. I reviewed all of my body parts in my brain, to be sure I wasn't having any type of stroke or attack or malady. All parts reported in free and clear. I called my eye doctor and requested to be seen. (Hahaha, I just realized the irony in that statement...)

They could see me in an hour so I went out and mowed  just a little more. (By the looks of the yard and all the areas I missed, it would have been best had I just NOT mowed yesterday! Oh well. I went in to see the eye doctor, and she had me read some letters, just to see if I could see at all. Mind you, I did horribly with my right eye which used to be my GOOD eye, and did awesome with my left eye. (I can picture my left eye just grooving on this new situation - finally being the GOOD eye after all these years, "I'm gonna read the hell out of this eye chart!!") The doc said, "I will check with the orange dye then dilate your eyes to see what is going on..." After that she put in the orange numbing drops that shows up imperfections in the cornea and such and said, "Oh, my - I don't need to dilate your eyes, I see what the issue is..." My right eye's cornea was covered with bumps and such - irritated and angry it was. She said it could have been the youth potion I sweated in to my eyes or the Miracle Grow chemicals I wiped in to it - either, or - but the poor cornea needed antibiotic cream and some Bausch + Lomb Soothe drops. "I would get the cream right away, because when that numbing agent wears off, your right eye is going to hurt a lot..." she said. She did not lie. Oh, and she said my right eye now has a cataract too. Ugh. "What do I do, get instant cataracts?!? Is this NORMAL?" She laughed but she didn't say anything.

Anyway, I came home and greased up my eye ball and finished the back yard. It was very hard to see where I had mowed. I am sure from an airplane, all the higher spots vs lower spots make a lovely pattern. OOOooo, I almost forgot, when I was at the pharmacy I found TINTED reading glasses. WOOT. Now I can read the computer screen without the brightness diffusing! It is the little things.

Yesterday, I had a male oriole at my new feeder. Sigh. I almost cried. (That could have been the irritated cornea though.) THEN, I did cry, I had a FEMALE ORIOLE. I have a mating pair eating my grape jelly! I've been in the house 30 years and not once have I seen an oriole. Contented sigh. Life, she is good. It has been a very good week from what I can see. Smile.

...your shorts are driving me crazy.....
May 9, 2015 - I meant to mention that we watched 'Live from Daryl's House' when Sammy Hagar was on with Daryl Hall. Good show. We watched this Wednesday earlier in the week, and I was quite concerned why both Sammy and Daryl wore sunglasses all the time. "Maybe because of the lights they use when they are on stage hurts their eyes?" my husband suggested at the time. Well, I can now tell you why - they probably both have cataracts and smeared Miracle Grow or sunscreen in their eyes and are wearing sunglasses help keep the light from diffusing and blinding them further.

(And ever since my eye incident, my husband has been calling me "Sammy." I must say, I do have Sammy's hair after all...)

The neighbor's have a babysitter for their kids. The babysitter is outside with said children and the kids are making it very hard for her. They are pushing the limits. This entertains me to no end. The babysitter has on very short green shorts. They just barely cover her buttocks and she has to pull them down a lot when she's walking. Mind you, she's rocking those shorts, so good for her. I mentioned her issue with her shorts to my husband and he did something I've not seen in years - HE GOT OUT OF HIS CHAIR AT A HIGH RATE OF SPEED AND WITH ONE TRY. Normally it takes several rocks forward before he is stable enough to launch out of the chair. By golly, he was up quicker than a rabbit!

Zoup Zoup da boop Zoup Da Boop...
May 14, 2015 - As you can tell from my girlish figure, I am a stress eater. I have been trying to be ever so good since the last "Attack of the Great Liver Monster." I normally take lots of veggies and fruit to work so I take my angst out on those instead of candy and crap. Yesterday I ate the whole bag of baby carrots that I had taken to 'munch' on periodically. Periodically? Ha! I suppose I could have eaten them faster had I strapped the bag directly over my mouth, but I doubt it. The whole bag only equaled 192.5 calories, but THAT WAS A LOT OF CARROTS. (Things tend to turn orange when you eat a lot of orange things... I will leave that up to your imagination. I also fart like a race horse most of the time lately so, well...it isn't pretty.)

Around my house or near my house there are several Pileated woodpeckers nesting. Maybe. All I know is I hear the raucous noise they make all the time. If you go to this website and click on "Wuk" series call, you will hear what I hear all the time. (I think they sound like monkeys, personally.)

This morning I cleaned out the oriole feeder and put in clean nectar and new grape jelly. I've seen the male more than the female. The male is quiet handsome. I have my camera out near the kitchen window so I can snap a picture of him, but of course since I put the camera out there I have not seen him or her. Paparazzi bothers them, obviously.

I do so enjoy the spastic Lucy dog next door. I gave her an old plastic monkey dog toy my dog and Grandpuppies Watson and Zora didn't want anything to do with and Lucy has had a hoot with that thing. She plays more like a cat, tossing it around and up in the air and such. Her 'Dad' says she doesn't fetch, but she will play 'catch' with herself. I laugh out loud when I see Lucy being a nut and so spastic Watching spastic youth brings me joy (except when said spastic youth is burning their town down or texting while driving or hurting those around them. That type of spastic I'm not so fond of...) She came over to see Jake the other night and she FLEW like SUPERMAN over the fence I put up to keep her out of my one flower bed. She needs a cape. (Neighbor Ron said we need catching mitts when she is coming at us full speed and this is actually true. She has two speeds - RUNNING FAST and RUNNING FASTER. Pretty sure she is getting in to the coffee at night whilst the neighbors sleep.) I keep treats in my pocket when I go outside in case Sophie comes over to visit Jake. Lucy is not so interested in treats but she did sit last night and shook hands for one before flying back home in a blur.

I have several hummingbirds eating now out front, but of course NO ONE CAN SHARE so I only see one at a time unless they are having a fight over the feeder, which is constantly. I was out deadheading flowers last night and almost took one to the ear - a very close miss I would say by the sound of it. Yikes.

I forced my husband to buy me dinner last night because I wanted to go get some things from the store anyway, so he could feed me en-route, right? We are hooked on Zoup. I could eat their turkey club every day of the week. Normally we get a full club and split it and get different cups of soup when we go there. They switch soups every day as well, having 12 "on tap" per day. My daughter and I went there last time we had Mommy / Daughter day. They had me at 'Turkey Club'... (As much as I like watching birds it would seem I don't have any issues eating them, either.)

My little ronaway, my ron ron ron ron my ronaway...
May 22, 2015 - I swear everyone in the world will be gone at work today so it should be relatively easy work day. (Please note from the previous sentence that Sandy has a deep seated need to exaggerate. In reality, not "everyone" in the "whole world" will be gone from work today;  Just a handful here and there. Sandy is full of crap.)

We get to see the kids this weekend. My daughter and soninlaw will be in on Saturday morning and the boys will be over, too, I hope. We'll see them both Saturday and Sunday since it is, after all, Late Mother's Day and Early Father's Day. Two days of NO COOKING for me! Woot. It is always good to let the kids know what you expect from them (such as 'no cooking for Mom' and 'someone had better feed us') because as we all know, I cannot read minds so my guess is they can't either... (Please note from the previous statement how Sandy has to lie constantly  - she CAN READ MINDS! Be afraid. Be very afraid.)

We mowed last night. When my husband was done he cleaned off the mower deck with the power washer and it was just PACKED with grass that was in the final stages of fermentation and was almost ready to be bottled as a fine grass/mold wine. He cleans that under deck off every week after we mow but apparently there were spots he missed for a few weeks. "Probably why the lawn looks like crap!" he announced proudly as he showed me the three foot pile of smelly, compacted grass that Jake the dog was very excited about. Jake thinks lawn mower compacted grass was made just for him - like John Deere Jerky of sorts. Since I did not want to clean up piles of  regurgitated fermented grass piles later in the evening I made my husband shovel up and throw away the grass bricks.

I really, really REALLY need to call and schedule the root canal I've put off for a whole year. The nerves are finally exposed to the universe and every time I accidentally get anything cold, warm, sweet, sour, or anything that has any amount of mass at all near the broken tooth it almost knocks me over. I have been putting up with horrid bouts of pain JUST because I freak out so much at the dentist. Sigh. I can't stand it anymore, however, and have the de-rooting doctor's info in my purse and I will call today from work. I have to be sure who has what days off at work before I schedule a root canal since I need the whole day to recover from the amount of Klonopin I crush and melt in a spoon and inject into my veins...

I'm your ice cream man, stop me when you slip into a coma...
May 25, 2015 - This was our official MATHER'S DAY weekend with the kids. We combined the two parental worship days in to one weekend extravaganza.

My daughter and soninlaw came in on Saturday morning. When they got here we were at the store, so they took Jake the Dog on a little ride. Jake loves to ride in the car and drool over the windows.

My daughter brought me a funny puff paint card that she made and some lovely soap and new things for my fairy gardens. Gollum and his woman now have a bonfire pit and the minions have a new bird bath and chair and a little hat for a larger minion.

The kids fed us on Saturday and Sunday, so I did not have to cook once! A wonderful weekend! Saturday Dad wanted to eat at Old Country Buffet and so that is where my daughter took us. Sunday I wanted to eat at Barrett's Smokehouse, so that is where my son took us. Our soninlaw purchased us tons of junk food to take up to my oldest son's house to watch 'Interstellar' on his big screen T.V. I was not that impressed with that movie, to be honest, but it was fun to hang out with the kids and grandpuppy Watson. I believe I consumed enough sugar products to push me over any thin line that may have remained, right into diabetes land. Cripes.
Today my daughter and soninlaw went over to his parents house to hang out and we had Chinese to top off the weekend of eating poorly. It was a relaxing, nice weekend. I only had to water plants once since it was kind enough to rain here and there. I am sort of glad the long weekend is over since I've eaten so poorly. Only a few small liver warning shots, so I was lucky. I am so looking forward to eating proper-like once again come tomorrow and have chicken salad planned. (I just have to remember to get my chicken out of the freezer...)

I don't like spiders and snakes....
May 28, 2015 - When I woke up and meandered out into the living room this morning, my husband announced to me that he felt a bug crawling on his arm last night so he swatted at it, then later he could feel something crawling on his neck so he flung it off and got up and slept the rest of the night in his chair. I wanted to thank him for throwing his insects my way, but I didn't say anything. If I had felt something crawling on me I would have gotten out of bed, fetched the flashlight, and done some investigating to stop the menace. I think sometimes that if we were on the Titanic, my husband would dress as a woman and get on the first lifeboat as the ship was going down...

We have several maple trees on our property. Two out front and one in back. The yard is a lovely tan color now due to those seeds. There are so many of them! The wind has been blowing with gusto lately so the blanket of maple seeds is spread far and wide. The maple samaras are often called whirlybirds, which is what I was told as a child. Now that they litter my lawn for several weeks a year, I prefer to call them "flutter f@*ckers" I spent a lot of time as a kid chasing those things as I waited for the bus. Lots of fun was had by many children around the world doing that, I bet. I love to watch the squirrels eat the seed part but I hate cleaning them out of everything. (The samaras, not the squirrels...)

Now, I'm off to take my shower, do a tick check in case, and buzz off to work. Now go and welcome this day with open arms or wings, whatever the case may be...

June 2, 2015 - If I had my choice, I would be back in bed sleeping right now. This 'working for a living' is a bunch of crap, let me tell you.

I had a cyst removed from my head yesterday and was impressed at the speed of it all. My current doctor has never removed one on me and I feel he did a bang up job. Cysts are harmless things to have on your head until they start poking through your hair and signaling the mother ship - then it's time to get them out of there. My stitches come out in two weeks or when I get to the point I can't stand them anymore. They are a lovely blue so I hope they stick out from my hair. I will look COOL. Reddish hair - blue stitches - pale albino skin - I'll be PATRIOTIC!

Over the weekend my husband watched the movie 'Prometheus' and I did not want to watch it so I took a nap. When I got up from my nap the movie was just ending and there was an alien type creature such as in the 'Alien' movies, so I had to read they synopsis for 'Prometheus.'  After I read that and found out it was kind a 'prequel' to 'Aliens' I had to read the synopsis of all four Alien movies and then the two Alien vs Predator movies and... Needless to say I had the weirdest dreams on Sunday night. (The internet is a MARVELOUS thing for gaining knowledge, no matter how useless that knowledge can be...)

Jake the Dog will NOT let you touch his feet. Jake won't let you clip his toenails. Jake the Dog has such long nails they are starting to snag all my rugs. Sigh. I wait until he's very asleep and having doggie dreams and snip what I can. The other day after he played a lot with Sophie and was outside a long time, he was on the couch dreaming and I got three nails cut before he figured out what I was doing. The ONE nail that is snagging my rugs, however, I did not get and now he sleeps with his paws tucked up under him. I will have to be patient and wait until the old codger wears himself out again this weekend...  I need to put him on a treadmill with a sandpaper belt.

June 9, 2015 - I got daring over the weekend and had a vanilla cone dipped in chocolate. I've been trying very hard to stay away from things that are full of fat. (Not because I'm watching my figure, mind you, since my figure is so huge you CAN'T help but watch it, but for Sir Liver's sake I watch fat content now after the last attack.) I thought to myself, "This cone is good, but not E.R. good..." and that thought made me laugh out loud. I want to be sure if I am ever going to indulge and have another rock/blockage attack that it is worth it! The cone did not, however, bring on an attack. I get reminders from Sir Liver when I eat something like that as Sir Liver squishes down and spasms the duct got get that bile to my stomach as if to say, HEY, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? HUH? WHAT? TAKE THIS!!  Sigh. Livers - go figure.

I just love where I live. The house is a p.o.s. but the location is excellent. When I took Jake out to do his morning doggie doody duty, the amount of 'wake up' sounds from nature was just amazing. I even heard a morning call I've never heard before and have no clue what could be making such a sound. (Then I worried it was a neighbor calling for help and their cry for help just happened to be a rhythmic, bird-like call....) It was a veritable ZOO outside this a.m. and I enjoyed it very, very much.

My daughter and soninlaw and their friends did two 5K runs this weekend in Chicago. Kudos to them! One was a Color Run and they were thoroughly decorated with lots of color. I've not heard much from the boys, but I will assume they are alive and well and still living in the general area as no police have come to my door to announce otherwise...

It rained so hard last night! We had gone out for supper and afterwards I ran in to the local store to get a few things. (I left husband in the car since he was in no mood to walk after eating.) When I came back out, DOWNPOUR! The drops were huge and splatting with gusto. We got home and ran into the house to find water all over from the southern windows we had left open. Rocko the Cat was not happy as one window is his perch and prey window with a nice fuzzy rug to observe the world outside. His fuzzy rug was soaked. He was kind enough to explain this in so many meows. All is well now, however, because we have back up 'Rocko' rugs. If feels like May thunderstorms are a month late, boy howdy.

I have to state for the record that I don't click Kardashian. Nothing related to the Jenner/Kardasian clan can make me want to read a story about said families. Ugh. What does this reflect about our country when any place you go for news always has entertainment crap up first? It means too many of you are clicking on stupid stuff so STOP IT, please. (Besides, Bruce is cuter than me and I'm jealous...)

June 15, 2015 - Last night, about 12:30 a.m., there was pounding on our front door. Jake barked a little bit - maybe two times. Jake wasn't trying that hard, bark wise. I think we actually heard Jake before any knocking, to be honest. (I am pretty sure there will be no back up from Jake when it comes to being killed in our sleep.) My husband and I looked at each other and didn't say anything. Who in the world would be pounding on our door so late without calling - besides the police? The pounding stopped and I got up and ran to the bathroom.

Tourette's oubtbreaks..." Mom still had had the "kill all fat people' sneer but she was also confused, you could tell. So please be aware - there are fat people everywhere. Do Not Touch Them. They may give you fatness or diabetes!! If you do touch one of us, immediately wash your hands and eat a piece of celery!! Use us to explain to your children what NOT TO BECOME when they grow up. (And you were all worried about the bird flu pandemic. I would be more worried about the OMG, PIZZA!! ARE YOU GOING TO EAT ALL THAT? pandemic...)

June 18, 2015 - I saw this T Shirt for sale and thought it was so funny. (George Takei had it on his Facebook page so technically I stole it..) I posted the picture of the T Shirt on my Facebook page and typed, "Ah, humor, is there nothing you can't do?" and "Sure, it's all fun and games until someone gets sucked in to a black hole we humans created..." and then "I guess it's none of my conCERN" and it made me laugh more. Only four people liked the post. I thought it was hysterical. I showed a coworker and she said she didn't get it and didn't want to get it and she wasn't interested in that sort of thing (so in other words, SHUT UP). Well, at least it kept me amused for a while, and isn't that all that matters? Sigh. (If you clock on the word conCERN above you can read about the Large Hadron Collider over in Switzerland.)

(That also reminded me of an incident years and years ago when I accidentally got bleach on my husband's jeans and it left a heart shape on his pants. We didn't have a lot of money back then, so if you had crappy clothes you wore the crappy clothes. The fun started when an innocent older woman at work said, "Oh, look, you've got a heart on your pants" in front of EVERYONE on that shift and everyone heard it the dirty way. That poor Carol suffered from all of us teasing her about noticing a "hard on" for years...we were all quite young so I can see why we thought it was funny at the time...but I digress...) 

It is misting like crazy out. Soup - the air feels like soup. Cold soup, but soup. You can't feel it until you walk out and come back in and you are misted head to toe and lots of excessive Rocko the Cat hair sticks to you. At this time I would like to say I am so happy it is not horridly hot outside. Can you imagine 600,000% humidity and then heat on top of it? Ugh. I am just not rainforest material. I would leave a trial of melted fat if it got hot about now. It wouldn't be pretty.

Rock the Cat has been getting more relaxed here at Grandmeow's house. Yesterday morning I saw him sprawled out on the living room floor on his back. A first! A cat just doesn't hang around on his back like that and sleep unless he feels very comfortable. This made me very happy. He even stayed on his back after Jake came and "kissed the kitty" which makes Rocko cringe, but he accepts it.

Just now I saw one of the teenaged squirrels that live in the maples out front and I woke Jake up by screaming SQUIRREL and he knows now that chasing a squirrel is grand fun plus "Mom gives me a treat if I do it!" It will keep the little poopheads out of my bird seed for a while at least. They are fun to watch, however (the squirrels) because they are at the age where they spend all day running in spirals up and down the trees chasing their siblings like spastic idiots.

June 21, 2015 - Well, the last three days were one for the record books. Ugh. Thursday night my husband took me to supper to pay me back for toting him back and forth to get his truck fixed. We ate at our favorite local 'diner' and I was going to be brave and have the 'ultimate' omelet. It contained hash browns and sausage and bacon and everything not nailed down to the counter in the kitchen. I thought, "I'll just eat half, and all will be OK." Sigh. I ate half. It was good, but not ER good as I've explained before. I ate both pieces of toast - both thickly covered in butter. I could have said, "dry toast, please" but I did not. I could have done a lot of things correctly but I DID NOT. On Friday morning at 1:30 a.m. came the warning shot to beat all warning shots. My stomach was in convulsions as well and it hurt. I got up and peed and walked around for a bit. Between the warning shot and the time my alarm was supposed to go off, I was up attempting to dose in my chair and back in to bed, attempting to be comfortable. The two people who back me up were on vacation on Friday. I couldn't miss work!

I logged on to work in the morning after soaking in a hot, hot tub. I seemed to feel better. The hot bath relaxed my muscles. I thought I was OK. I did some work and ate some dry toast. NOPE, there it went again. It was made clear that nothing was allowed down there until I got a formal letter of forgiveness from my body. Sigh. The pain got worse and worse. I decided to work from home. At least that way I could cry and soak in the tub when I couldn't stand the pain anymore. When my youngest son stopped to use the bathroom at about 10:30, I asked him to take me to the ER. He was very helpful and did so and was very kind to old Mom.

They couldn't give me drugs since it was only a month ago I was in there. "They didn't prove you had a rock last month..." the ER doctor said. "It hurts, I don't know if it a rock or not, it just HURTS" I whined. They had written me a script for Norco a month ago (that I threw away since Norco has never helped me with pain) so he couldn't write me another of those, either. "I'm not an addict, I'm not making up this pain!" I demanded. He said he'd order blood work and get me a shot of "something like Motrin on steroids" and off he went. There I was on the gurney in pain. I had left my son in the waiting room. I just focused on my body parts and tried to convince them to stop what they were doing. WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD! IT WAS JUST AN OMELET! STOP DOING THIS!!

A long time went by...I heard the doctor talk to two other people through the wall. It had to be over an hour with me just in that room laying there suffering. When I am in pain, it isn't pretty. I would probably liken it to a large, beached whale contorting with pain. I was about to get up and waddle out when the doctor poked his head in. "Has anyone been in here?" "I don't think so, I've been so busy listening to you see other patients I might have missed it..." I replied. His eyes got wide. "No shot?" NO!" I snapped. "No blood draws?" "Nope, just me and my liver who hates me and is going to drive me to jump off a large building soon...but don't let that bother you..."

He was out the door and a nurse was in there post haste. The doctor didn't hit the send button apparently on the computer system. All I know is suddenly I was everyone's favorite patient. I got a blood draw and a shot of something. (It did nothing for the pain, mind you.) Once the blood work came back, the doctor came in to tell me the liver enzymes were fine, even quite good (considering my history lately) so he said he couldn't give me anything. I said, "whatever, discharge me, I don't care - at least I can soak in a hot tub at home..." I mumbled. He did offer me two Norco to go, as it were, and I took them from him. I think he felt bad. My son took me home and entertained me for the afternoon in between me attempting to keep up with little work things. It was quiet at work, so that was helpful. I didn't feel like I was screwing anyone over. (And apparently taking TWO Norco DOES help the pain, and they make you dizzy, and they make you dream horrid, weird things.) After my youngest left and my husband came home, I slept. I slept the rest of the night, and all of Saturday. My husband was kind to get me some jello and ginger-ale so I did not starve. Nothing  else would go down or even sounded like I could get it paste my teeth.

June 22, 2015 - Today I feel more human. It still feels like I lost a fight with a donkey who had been working on his back legs at the gym, however. I will call the family doctor and we'll start the process of finding me a liver donor. (Sorry, that isn't true - yet - I was just attempting humor there...it was funny in my mind...) My husband said I had that attack to get out of mowing this weekend. We laughed but I think he was serious, actually. I fixed chicken breast and cauliflower for supper yesterday and ate some. It felt good to consume "real" food. So far...knock on wood...so good...

June 24, 2015 - I was discussing cartoons of my youth with someone at work and realized there was NO WAY I could ever possibly be politically correct EVER IN MY LIFETIME due to the heavy influence of those cartoons way back when. (I doubt the likes of Go Go Gopher would fly today.) All of the cartoons I watched were probably "politically" incorrect by today's standards when I ponder it... (but to be fair, I am pretty sure I'd end up just like I am today with our without cartoons. Blurting out whatever is on my mind is just my nature or as some would say, my major malfunction.)

I did not enjoy laser hair removal treatments because who in their right mind would sit there in a chair and inflict that kind of pain on their face after all, but I do miss the effect it had on said face. Now my stupid face is all bumpy again and rough. I suppose you can't have brains and beauty and super hero strength, can you?

Today is my follow up visit with the family doctor. He will say, "What? YOU AGAIN!!!" My right side has been very sore since last Friday's warning shot. If I could go back in time to warn my teen self to take better care of this goddess of a body, I would. (And my teen self would look at future me and say, "Whatever..." although we did not use that term in the late 70s to sound cocky and indifferent if I remember correctly, but you get my drift...) I really want to come up with a comic book about getting older. It would have a main character with all her body parts as characters that she interacts with on a daily basis. It could almost be as funny as cat videos and no doubt I'd become a millionaire and could buy several livers.

I was trying to get to sleep last night while thinking that if I die tomorrow, it's been a damned good life and isn't that all one can hope for? I think it is. I wondered what my place on this Earth was, and I think I was a 'worker bee' of sorts. If you look at the Earth as a big computer, then we all are little ones and zeroes running around goopin' up Earth's keyboard and we have a specific chore to do and my chore I believe was to work hard and poop out three great kids and make other people laugh. It is a minor role, but I'm sure it is for the greater good. (Maybe one of my kids will be the one who comes up with the time machine so I can go back in time to warn my past self about impending liver issue? Kind of a Catch-22 of sorts on that one.) Smile. Nonetheless... I've had an awesome life so far.

Yesterday I changed my hummingbird feeder water and the oriole feeder after all heat and rain we had. The rain has driven the ants UP and UP means into my old house. I have been fighting the battle of the bigger 'sugar' ants in the kitchen and Rocko the Cat was kind enough to point out a herd of tiny little ants in the bathroom. (He did this by staring at the corner in the bathroom for the longest time and he finally put his paw down very slowly and picked it up to look at what he picked up, and it was covered in wee ants!! He was so amazed at this and he looked up at me as if to say, "What the hell is this...!?") Of course, when you get paranoid about ants you start looking closer into the corners and when you look closer in the corners you find more and more dirt. I decided it would be much faster if we just tore this place down and started over as opposed to me attempting to clean all the dirt I found when on Ant Hunt 2015 this morning.

So I'm off to conquer - viva a new day! Go forth, do good work.

June 25, 2015 - While I was at the doctor yesterday afternoon, my BFF sent me the picture to the left. Hahahahahahahaha.

The doctor visit yesterday afternoon was nice for me and made me feel better. I expressed my angst at my liver and he knew I was worried about stuff (cancer? parasites? aliens?) and he said, "You know, a human can live with half a liver..." He was assuring me that my liver issue isn't the end of Sandy as I know me and we'd just have to figure out the best way to handle a liver with an attitude. "OK, let's review - What does your liver hate?" he said in a way I would verbally rub a lesson in to my own kid's brain.... "It hates saturated fats, sir." I replied. If I don't want my liver to kick the living daylights out of me, I have to comply with its wishes. Sigh. Sandy ZERO, Liver ONE. He also prescribed just a few pills that help relax smooth muscle tissue in the event I get another attack. "Hopefully it will relax the bile duct to help pass any tiny stones if in fact you are passing one or just calm your bile duct and stomach muscles if you are in pain." He went over my blood work with me and showed me it was good, almost too good (from last Friday when I was at the ER) so he sent me over for another liver panel test just in case. "You will let me know what it is, right?" I asked. "A nurse will call, don't worry!" Then he laughed and said, "If I call, worry!" Ah, medical humor.

I felt much better last night about life. I may die a horrible, painful death as most of us will, but it won't be tomorrow from my liver. I am going to order the stuffed liver from I heart guts.com I think. Having a visual tool helps you talk to your internal organs. We should talk to our organs. "If you don't talk to your organs about life, who will?"

I was watching a show last night about crows and how intelligent they were (very, actually) and that reminded me of a thought I had the other day when I was in my pain induced sleep binge, I had lots of dreams about lots of weird stuff, but one of the dreams was very lucid - about how the level of intelligence I had at age 18 was the level my kids had at age 14, and when my kids are older their kids will also be much smarter then they were at younger ages. Brains are awesome things. (Livers, not so much. I know! I know! I am having a hard time forgiving this time...) I know in my previous blog version that long time readers will remember me lamenting the fact that I couldn't help my youngest with trigonometry or physics after he got to about 10th grade. If it were not for his sister, we'd have been s.o.l. What kids learn nowadays (or could learn) is amazing. Sigh. Where am I going with this thought....hmmmmmmm.... Honestly, I forgot! hahahaha. I am leaving this paragraph in here, however, as I'm sure it is relevant to me somehow! 

We in the Mitten had chances of seeing the Aurora Borealis caused by the most recent CMEs bombarding us on Earth the last two nights. Tuesday night would have been perfect since it was the clearest night in a long, long time .Tuesday night I fell asleep too early to see them and last night we were covered with clouds. Sigh. That will be the first place I go when I retire, I think. Somewhere I can see the Northern Lights in a proper fashion. I have seen the fireflies because they have been out in force and early on in the evening. The last night it was so warm and there was lightening the fireflies were also adding to the dazzle of the light show by zooming back and forth leaving glow in the dark trails. I was very impressed (and maybe a bit worried because at one point I swear they were spelling out, "SAVE YOURSELF"...)

June 29, 2015 - This is a short week at work, therefore it will feel like the longest week ever. (The word 'ever' being said with the forceful whininess of a two year old.)

We got a nice note card in the mail on Saturday addressed to 'Neighbor' and it was saying that the person (who wrote the card) enjoyed looking at our yard every day when they went past and how we kept it up so nice (they used the term 'manicured') and they enjoyed the bird feeders and such. The hand writing in the card was just lovely.

I had several first thoughts on that card:
#1-that it was indented for Ron and Sue, since their yard is always so awesome.
#1a-it is an advertising scam in some form and we'll be getting the follow up offer for yard products later this week...
#1b-someone has no doubt driven by when I was bent over and my buttocks was facing the road and they LIKE big butts and they cannot lie...

I just had to laugh at the card though. If it was real then I thank them for enjoying my birdies. Using the term 'manicured' for the lawn, however, indicates the need for an eye exam. (You cannot actually manicure crab grass, you just sort of herd crab grass in one general direction...)

After the Supreme Court's ruling on gay marriages, the web has been a storm of controversy. Without bringing poor God into this paragraph (Whom I am sure has had the busiest weekend this side of creation) I will state that I believe as a human - in my own head - no one to blame for this belief but me - that if you are in a committed relationship with someone (male or female) and have been for years and years and years, that you should be able to marry said someone if you want. (I am also a firm believer in making the time served already retroactive so everyone knows how long you've put up with the other person.) I hope that people who do not agree with the ruling will at least live up to their religious values and 'Love Thy Neighbor' no matter who Thy Neighbor marries. My daughter and soninlaw, who live in Chicago, said there was Pride Parade and there was no going anywhere yesterday due to the amount of people in the streets. They posted some pictures (one is below) and it was just packed on their street (which was not even the parade route...)

July 1, 2015 - JULY FIRST ALREADY?!?!? Sometimes the date just screams out at me and says, "Holy Crap Woman!! Look at how fast your life is zooming by and you have done nothing with our life except make a dent in a lazy-boy chair! What are you thinking??" This is one of those days. I feel compelled to get up and at least move.

The baby oriole ate all the grape jelly yesterday and was sitting on the feeder for a long, long time. (No doubt coming down from a sugar buzz.) I shooed him away and refilled it last night. Oriole's like their grape jelly. The hummingbirds have been pretty thick lately, too. I love it when they actually get a couple on the feeder before a fight breaks out. You say to yourself, "Awww, they are finally getting along!!!" when suddenly they see each other and the high speed belly bumping begins. Just like little humans, they are...

I am posting to relate to you an stupid thing I did. I like to report stupid things I do (which is often as you well know) so you all don't feel bad when you do something stupid. I use a tart melter thingy in the house to make stuff smell nice. I had grape melts in there. I popped out the hard wax and thought to myself, "I am going to put this in a bowl and leave it in my hot car to help stink up my car pretty, too! This was while I was doing six other things and I threw the wax melt on my front passenger side seat and took out garbage and had every intention of coming in and getting a container for said wax melt blob but I totally forgot. I meandered off and did other stuff. Um...DUH? No sir, not bright - not bright at all. As the day wore on, it melted and soaked into the seat. (Mind you, my car DOES smell wonderful - just divine with grapey goodness.) The wax is firmly in place in my car seat now. I've scraped up what I could when it got solid again. I will have to get the iron and go out there and try to iron it into old rags or a brown paper bag. Um, once again I stress the 'duh' part here. I am glad that wax melt blob wasn't a puppy or child!! Sigh.

I mentioned I set the lawn mower deck down farther so the grass would look shorter for a longer amount of time, right? Well, it created lots of piles of cut grass that I had no intention of raking up, of course, which have been being dragged into my house all week on people's feet. Bales and bales of blobs of grass. Sigh. I won't do that again. At the time, it seemed like a good idea...

July 8, 2015 - Yesterday I had to report for jury duty. (Every time I've been summoned before I was either breast feeding a kid or my group was not needed. This time I had to report.) I got there early since I wasn't sure what I was doing and I was happy I did. It was pouring rain out and so many people ended up standing in a line outside. There were many people in line that morning. Considering the soaking and the amount of people there, everyone was in a fairly good mood. I sat and read my book and waited. I was worried, since my back up at work took the day off for a funeral. I had worked until 11 p.m. the night before to make sure I was covered for Tuesday best I could be covered. I just wanted to be at work. (See, more proof that I am not right in the head.)

After two hours or so they let my group and several other groups leave. The parties had solved their differences out of court as it were. I have never seen so many people leap up and leave a room as fast as the dismissed groups. Hahahaha. I got to go to work and I was relieved. This fact still makes me sad that being able to get to work was a joy to me. Sigh. What am I going to do when/if I retire? I can't be so dependent on work to entertain me!! I will possibly do what my friend Kathy does - volunteer for many, many things.  I think Kathy is busier now than when she worked...

After I got to work I started hearing scratching coming from one of my cabinets (I thought.) I threw open the door expecting to find a rat or something, but there was nothing in there. The noise continued. I asked my boss to stand there and listen to what I was hearing. He stayed for a few minutes and declared I was insane. "...but then again, what did I expect?" he muttered as he left my office. The wee scratching sounds continued every few minutes or so. Deb came down and I forced her to listen with me. Nothing happened until Laura came in and they both heard the noise. (My ears are not good. I can hear things but have trouble placing that sound with the correct location. I was sure it sounded like it was in my cupboard, but the girls said it was in the wall.) As the day went on I heard the scratching move from the one area to the wall closer to me. That poor critter was trapped and would die in the wall and I do not look forward to the stench that will come with the death of said poor critter. Sigh.

My one tooth (that has been waiting for a root canal and not getting one because I'm a chicken) finally got a root canal last Thursday! I couldn't stand the pain anymore and the endodontist had an opening at lunch time. I took my Gary the Snail toy to squeeze and only had took spaz pill. I was not happy that the older dentist guy left me sitting there two times as he finished up another patient! Ugh. I hate that. I like the younger guy who just plows through the job. I almost lost it from a panic the second time he left me sitting there, but I got through it and no one lost a finger. Yay. I had headphones on with 60s oldies playing and in an attempt to stop the panic I analyzed every song's lyrics and did you know how perverted the music was back then!?!?  Smile.

July 10, 2015 - Last weekend I watered Ron and Sue's flowers and they brought me a Thank You present last night. My Minion faerie

f*%@king foot up your asses!" She kept going on like that that, turning and yelling at the kids, then walking faster to the car. The younger kids were just sobbing and the oldest son was cradling a young child who was just screaming. I stared at that woman with the most upset face I could conjure up but she didn't care. This was her life. This was how she raised her kids from multiple different Dads. This was ACCEPTABLE to her and each one of those poor kids would grow up thinking that behavior like that was ACCEPTABLE and the evil chain would continue. Sigh. I was sad the rest of the day. The human species has sorely malfunctioned. Maybe I DO NOT wish I had grand kids after all...

With what little housework I've done, I've managed to sweat profusely, so I am off to shower. Maybe that will wash the negativity out of my hair and get me perked up again,aye?

July 16, 2015 - I had today off as a vacation day. It was "Go Get Prep and Temp Crown on good old #31" on my recent root canal-ed tooth. I only took one Klonopin an hour before and I did very well. My Dentist is THE BEST Dentist in the whole world. I will miss him SO MUCH when he retires!! Sigh. Lori, his assistant when they do things like this, is an ANGEL. I would throw myself on a live grenade for those two, they are that wonderful. I got my temporary crown in no time, and even scheduled to go back in three weeks for another prep for a crown on another tooth that doesn't need a root canal yet and get my permanent crown on this tooth. I've mentioned before that Dr. D knows I do NOT like those little sleeves around my teeth that prevent you from closing your mouth and he will do all he can to work without one. Today Lori said she was going to put a band on real quick and Dr. D said, "Oh, no no no no no - no bands." When he got his fingers out of my mouth, I said, "I love you! Squeeeeeeeeeee....." hahahahahaha. I must admit it is nice to have that tooth 'almost' done and soon I'll be able to chew over there again. The left side of my mouth is looking forward to that, If you have dental insurance, I beg you to go get regular check ups and take care of your teeth. Really. Trust me on this. My parents couldn't afford dental car for me until I was 12 and my molars were already shot by then. BRUSH, FLOSS AND GO FOR CLEANINGS PEOPLE!!!! (I have insurance, so that is easy for me to say.) I figure that if I live through such a terrible ordeal ('terrible' for me that is) that I get to get a prize from the prize cabinet, so I always paw through the toys. For each of my crowns so far I have picked a dinosaur. This time I got a stegosaurus. I earned these dinosaurs, I tells ya!

I took Rocko the Cat to the Vet Wednesday night because of his urination domination issue. The vet and I talked a LONG time about the cat. I won't bore you with the details but Rocko does NOT have a urinary infection (although males are most likely to get them over females) so that is nice and it turns out Rocko is one of those cats that are easily stressed and when they are stressed it goes to their bladder and in some cases they act out by peeing all over my front door. Sigh. (In other words, Rocko is a Class A Turd-headed Jerk wad who is selfish and cannot stand change in any form.) She said the majority of people who put down their healthy cat is due to this issue of peeing all over. She explained a type of therapy with happy cat pheromones. It isn't cheap. She watched my face. I said, "Well, I'm not killing the rat bastard, am I?. Sigh. Hook me up with the happy cat crap..." The vet was thrilled that I wasn't going to end Rocko's existence. She proceeded to tell me about her cat that is just like Rocko and she saved him from euthanasia and he does well with the treatments. So, I left the Vet after spending 208 dollars for the special plug in pheromone dispenser (looks like a Glade air freshener) and a small spray jar of pheromones and a penicillin shot JUST IN CASE. The pheromone is what a cat will slather its human with when they rub on them and purr and are happy. The idea is to give Rocko the impression that the living room and the area by the door is a happy place so don't pee on it, OK? So far it is NOT working. Rocko doesn't care if the corner smells like happy pheromones or not, it must now be peed on and peed on with gusto. Ugh. Some one is going to get a foot up their buttocks soon.
 
I suppose if my only issue in life is a hair trigger liver and a cat with a bad attitude, I am doing much better than 3/4 of the world's population, so I'll shut up about it for now. I am off to play with my dinosaurs...I will leave you with a picture of my Butterfly Garden that is blooming with random weeds. Enjoy.

July 17, 2015 - I forgot to mention in yesterday's ramblings about Rocko - the only thing that has changed in the last month or so in our house that might have upset the boy is the fact I took away his 'humpy' blanket. He had a favorite blanket he would express his "love" to as it were from time to time. That was put away for the summer. (And yes, I wash it ever other day or so during peak humping season!) That is the only thing that dawned on my during the "MY CAT IS A JERK" interview with the Vet - that this might have set the boy off because his 'girlfriend' was in the closet!! (Insert bells and whistles here for my epiphany.) I have since retrieved said blanket and have left it our for Rocko's entertainment. Hopefully between that and the pheromone treatment, he'll be happy as a cat on a, well, humpy blanket. Rocko has also started darting out the door when we open it. Sigh. He gets as far as the cement and does not like the feel of the cement and just freezes there but he will get over that eventually, so if you see a large orange cat with a "pissed" off attitude carrying a large blanket with Carol Channing on it, please call me...

Mowing yesterday was the right thing to do. We had thunderstorms last night and it is supposed to be very humid and raining and hot the next few days. In celebration, I am just going to let my afro hair do what it afro wants today since with the humidity it will ANYWAY. Humidity and my hair equals explosive poofy-ness.

July 21, 2015 - I suppose puffy hair is worth it when you see rainbows.I will never tire of seeing rainbows. After it rained like a raped ape the other day there she was, all rainbow like.

Rocko the Pisser is still pissing on my front door. Sigh. The six million dollars of pheromone treatments have done nothing for the boy. Play time and home grown cat nip and sexy cat parties have not deterred that cat from marking my front door. This angers me only because he has a poor attitude and if it were one of my kids, boy howdy, I'd have smacked him a few times by now. However, he is a cat with an attitude and no one can fix that now.

He goes outside now from time to time. He started by going out in my dog pen and playing the great white hunting kitty - stalking birdies at the bird feeder. (Not REALLY - he stayed hidden in the morning glories and watched the birdies.) He figured out how to scale the fence apparently and had a freedom in the yard until Lucy the Neighbor Dog found herself a new, mobile chew toy. My husband found out this was going on and rescued Rocko before Lucy got her first taste of cat meat thanks to Rocko. I really don't know what to do with the boy. Sigh. Any suggestion, send me an email. (Talking about Rocko there in that last sentence, not my husband.)


This morning he went out with us to take Jake potty. He found the tent where the old Camaro is stored and came in covered with cobwebs and dirt from crawling under that thing and around that thing. He seemed very happy to be covered in all that dirt. He went out the back door just now...he let me know by hanging from the screen window and screaching like a banshee. I was quick to pick up on his desire to leave the building... Sigh.

I mowed last Thursday after I had my dental work done and you couldn't even tell. It needs another mowing NOW. I've never seen it be so wet so long into summer, and I'm old!! The whole row of houses mowed last Thursday so this side of the street looked all cool for a bit. One rainstorm later and the rain forest effect kicks in and all we need now are monkeys to complete the picture. There has not been a lot of heat (except for last weekend) so my gladiolus in one flower bed have been slow in growing, but I had my first one (earliest ever) from my other flower bed! A lovely peach colored glad that I immediately killed by cutting it and bringing it into the house. Not sure if you can see it or not, but the insides of the blossoms have a deep, lovely red wine color to them.

July 23, 2015 - I slept for a total of one hour last night. I am still not tired. Obviously the government is putting speed in the clouds making me not sleep. That can be the only answer, right? I am starting to get a tad bit sleepy now, so we'll see if I can sleep soon. It is already 10:15 p.m. Ugh. I miss my Momn a lot lately. I wonder what is up with that? Sigh.

Rocko has been going out with us 'as a family' and just loves it outside. I ordered him Frontline this morning so he can get a flea/tick treatment soon now that he is the Great White Hunter. Tonight he got bombarded by a bluejay and he took this in stride and just stayed flat on the ground until the offending bird took off and left him alone. When Lucy the Dog came over and mauled him he did NOT take that in stride and he attacked Lucy with a frenzy of claws, sucker punches, and hisses. I even encouraged him, "Go Rocko! You kick her ass!" (I've never seen Rocko react like that so I was ever so impressed.) Rocko came to meet Sue our Neighbor and Friend. He loved on Sue like he was the Dos Equis man - "I don't always rub on humans but when I do, it is on lovely blonde ladies such as yourself..." I am glad Rocko is happier now. (He has not piddled on the front door in two days! A minor victory.)

My face is still burning from what I made earlier this evening. YUMMMMMM. Two nights ago I took my husband to Zoup and they had Cucumber Gazpacho AND IT WAS DIVINE!! I am not a cold soup fan but I AM a huge cucumber fan. I asked for a sample. Good Golly, I fell in love. It was so spicy and delicious. "I *ack cough* want a cup of *choke gag* this stuff!" I sputtered to the man at the register. "Are you sure, Ma'am?" he asked with a slightly curled lip of concern. "It is rather spicey..." "Oh, Really? *Pffft Snot* I had not noticed..*drool piddle a little**." I replied.

I could have eaten the whole pot of that soup. I get goose bumps typing to you about about it, I liked it that much!!  As my children will attest, when I like something I will eat it for sixteen weeks straight. I looked up the recipe and last night we went to the store and I got all I needed to make it (with some modifications - instead of scallions I got green onions and instead of cilantro I got fresh parsley).

This morning I was reading the recipe and realized I forgot celery. Duh. I planned on picking it up at lunchtime. On the way to work there was a train blocking the train track near my place of employment so I just stopped to get gas and ran in to the store at the station for other things. I went to work when I was done thinking all was well. I took a two p.m. late lunch and ran in to the grocery store. I went to pay for my purchase and could not find my debit card. I had them hold the purchase as I search my purse. I started to panic. Ugh. Where did I use it last.... THE GAS STATION! I told the nice lady I would be back after I went to check at the gas station. Breaking the speed limit and worrying the whole time, I was at the gas station in no time and I ran in and asked, "Did anyone find a debit card with my name on it?!!!" Thankfully, someone had turned it in and it had sat on the counter at the gas station all day. I was so thankful. I went back and paid for my groceries. How could I have left my debit card??!? (So it begins - Sandy's decent into the great abyss of ... um ... well, I forget, actually....see?)

I worried about my card being on walkabout on its own all afternoon so I finally just called and cancelled my card. I will call for new one tomorrow from my bank. The card was out of my hand for six hours and who's to say that someone did or did not take the info on it? Cancelling was my best bet. If I need money I'll go draw out some cash. I think I remember how to use that stuff! But I have digressed, what was I talking about? OH YEAH! SOUP!

Tonight I chopped/diced up all the ingredients for my Zoup Soup .I used the blender on the spices, broth, and herbs. When shaking out the Tabasco sauce I got it all over the front of shirt and of course when you chop up jalapenos you will alway have a burning feeling on your face. I am one hot Momma tonight! My soup is chilling in the fridge for tomorrow and this weekend. I could drink it like an iced tea - I swear. I will include the recipe I found on line below in case you like cold cucumber crap. Most people probably do not. (I took a survey. Many 'ick' faces were made.)

I know why I love cucumbers so much - when I was little my Mom would ALWAYS give me the "too big to pickle" cucumbers. I made MANY cucumber and sand pies in my sandbox in my youth. I would dare say I'm a cucumber and sand pie aficionado, actually. The smell and taste of a cucumber (minus the crunchy sand part) has always been a comforting thing to my brain. Maybe that is why I miss my Mom so much the last several days - the smell of cucumbers brings back good memories of her? Hmmmm, must give us pause...

I suppose I will attempt to doze in my chair while I watch recorded episodes of  "How the Universe Works" - Mike Rowe's voice is soothing and lulls me to sleep although it didn't work worth squat last night. Thanks a lot, Mike!! Geez...

(Oh, and watch the papers this weekend to see if I OD from Cucumber Gazpacho, OK?)

This says it server six to eight - yeah, RIGHT! Maybe for normal folks!
Ingredients:
1/2 cup diced scallions
2 large cucumber, de-seeded and diced
1 green pepper, de-seeded and diced
2 fresh jalapenos de-seed and diced
1 tbsp. fresh dill
1 tbsp. fresh cilantro
1/2 tbsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1/2 cup Red Wine Vinegar
Zest and juice 1 lemon
1 1/2 tbsp. green Tabasco
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. black pepper
1/2 tbsp. sugar
1 jar Vegetarian broth

Directions:
Combine all ingredients when done abusing them in various ways
Remember you have a blender and use it to mix up the liquid crap and dill/cilantro and spices
Avoid wiping sweat from your face when choppin' up the jalapenos
Stir well
Shake the green Tabasco all over your shirt apparently
Refrigerate Serve cold Do not Share with anyone and drink it like iced tea.
Enjoy

July 28, 2015 - I took yesterday off from work due to an upset stomach and random excessive crapping. I slept a lot. I did get up and make supper and do a load of laundry and loaded the dishwasher so I can say my day was not totally wasted. It was kind of warm - 86 degrees - so I turned on the air in the house. I hate doing that. It is a window type air conditioner in the wall and it makes a lot of noise. However, we were cool last night. Nice and cool. My husband said the cucumber gazpacho was what 'cleaned me out' yesterday. I told him it was delicious so I didn't care if that was the cause of my poop festival. (It was not. He was just jealous that a bowl of chopped veggies brought me such joy.) I told him we'll see when he gets the same stomach issue since he didn't have gazpacho so I will prove it was viral, not veggie.

Sigh, Rocko had a good streak then peed on the same spot again. Nothing is working. NOTHING. I am not sure what to do. Many a cat has been put to sleep due to this issue. Males - go figure. I don't want to put him down just because he's an ass and pees on my front door. He actually has a charming personality (sort of) and I would rather make him an outdoor kitty before putting him down. All day yesterday he did not want out when I tried to let him out. (He did go out for five minutes around two p.m. and came right back in and spread himself thin on the kitchen floor. He does not like the heat out there no matter how many birds there are at the feeder, and there were A LOT of birds out there.)

Over the weekend we were at the grocery store and in the produce area we saw the most perfect female we've ever seen in person. She looked like Barbie's life sized brunette sister. Honestly, from three rows of fruit over, she was PERFECT. She had much of her bosom hanging out in her shirt but it just looked right on her. She was tall and her curves were perfect and her hair was done by angels. You can't even get mad or jealous of someone like that because she looked so FINE.

While we were checking out, I stood in a line that was right next to Barbie's sister. My husband went farther down looking for a shorter check out lane. I stared at her for a while because you are drawn to the beauty of her but I noticed that Barbie's sister had spent way too much time out in the sun. When you were closer to her, the skin was rough and worn on her face and neck. She was sexy as all get out but also a case of melanoma waiting to explode. Sigh. I felt kind of bad for her, really. So damned pretty but so ... leathery. My husband called me down to a better check out lane and when I go there I told him, "I think I prefer to stay albino and inflated... You don't see the wrinkles when you are inflated..."

July 30, 2015 - On Tuesday, I took a pizza to my Aunt and Uncle. I figured it would be a quick supper for them. It is getting so neither one of them will be able to walk or move much soon enough so a break from the kitchen is nice, I'm sure. I changed out their hummingbird feeder water (which was just packed with ants as always) and cleaned up the feeder and then put on the ant trap/deterrent that my neighbor Ron loaded me to use. It is the coolest doohickey - you fill it with water and invert it and hook the feeder up to that. Viola! (When I looked up the picture of the doohickey on line, it said it was an ANT MOAT which sounds ever so much better than DOOHICKEY.) I took what laundry my Aunt and Uncle had and brought it home to wash. My Uncle didn't like it when I did their laundry before but I think he's having more issues doing laundry himself. When I took the laundry back yesterday, I checked out the ANT MOAT and there were ants running round inside trying to avoid the water and just acting plain confused. I successfully cut off a major food source to the biggest ant mafia operation in the greater Southwest Michigan territory. (Thank you Ron!!)

My BFF called last night to check in and we talked about cucumber gazpacho and talking about it made me miss it but I doubt I'll make that for a while. It is almost Sandy Salsa Season. Soon I will be making batches of fresh salsa and forcing neighbors to eat it and forcing work mates to eat it. (My boys I don't have to force - they look forward to it, I think.)

I am so looking forward to the mini vacation we have planned next month! Yay! I can't wait. We never do fun stuff like this. I hope the weather is nice and the Air Show goes on as planned. I would be so disappointed to be on a boat on Lake Michigan to watch an Air Show and then have them have to cancel said Air show due to weather. Cross yer fingers that I get buzzed by a jet soon...it has been way too long since I was buzzed by a jet and I sorely need a good buzzing.

Last night I worked late because my IBM server at work needed its cache batteries replaced. We have worked with Pete from IBM for a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggggggggggg time when it comes to hardware issues. He is a joy to work with. A very patient man, Pete is. Once he was done and we rebooted the old girl, he left and I came home to monitor her from home. I had installed PTFs (fixes) so it was loading those and taking its sweet time doing so, if I may say so myself. I came home and watered flowers while she did her thing. I was hoping it would rain yesterday so I did not have to water but the rain promise fizzled out. I counted eight gladiolus ready to bloom. Two are JUST starting to peek out color (a lovely maroon and a lovely yellow) so I look forward to those blooming. Next to daffodils, glads are one of my favorites. Those bulbs that I got ever so long ago from one my kid's band fundraisers sure have been prolific in putting out glads. I like that type of bulb - you plant it once and forget you planted it once and every year you say to yourself, "Oh, Yeah! I planted a bulb there!" and it keeps coming back year after year and spreading and making more flowers. (I am not as thrilled about the Lily of the Valley that tend to take over EVERYTHING and move in to our house after you plant one and you have to call in the National Guard to protect you and your family from the invading hoard, but still, you get the idea...)

I have an issue ending sentences with prepositions and I always will, I fear. My 7th grade English teacher hated that and had "Prep the Mouse" posters hanging about to remind us pubescent idiots that ending sentences with prepositions was punishable by death. (I just looked up "Prep the Mouse" and figure it must have been the invention of my English teacher because it isn't mentioned on the web anywhere.) Several times already while blogging this I've changed a sentence to get rid of the ones ending in prepositions. Mr. S had quite the impact on me, obviously!! (Maybe he would beat us when we ended sentences with prepositions and I am repressing the memory of it? Must be something I don't dwell on...) I also have an issue with using to many  ... and, excessive, commas, too.

I kind of feel sorry for that guy who killed the lion over in Africa and is now getting bombarded by backlash from the general public - worldwide. (I don't feel sorry for HIM per say because I am of the understanding you don't kill something for FUN just to hang its head on your wall unless you are feeding your family and you have no other means to feed your family and I see no reason why any of us should go shoot something unless we have to eat...but I digress...) It is the crap that came after the story broke that bothers me. With the Internet you can't even poop in private anymore. (All you all that are my age and older had better thank the stars above we got most of our stupid stuff out of our systems before the Interweb really became all the rage.) How the world is reacting to the 'Cecil' story is quite unfair when poaching has been going on for many, many years and have we heard about it WORLDWIDE asking for the prosecution of said poachers in such an uproar as we've heard about this story? People are reacting like idiots. In my mind the over zealous and "stupid" reactions to this story clearly shows how groups like ISIS and Al-Qaeda sprang forth. It all starts with a herd of like minded people blaming another herd of people for something they think is wrong then one of the dumber ones of the original herd of people gets a gun and suddenly they are a GROUP with FIREPOWER who know what is good for the rest of the world and attempt to enforce it because suddenly what they think is how everyone should think. People have threatened that dentist and his family and the place he works and such for his addiction to mounting and stuffing. Sad. Very Sad. Pick your battles, peoples!! Geez. I wish we could get our panties in a wad about something IMPORTANT for once such as stamping out world hunger or being tolerant of others or stopping government corruption.

On a more serious note... My wee one mentioned a month or so ago that he rolled his own change in coin holders because he didn't like taking them to those Coin Star machines where they charge 11 cents on every dollar to take your loose change. This got me to thinking (which can be dangerous) and I thought that I, too, didn't like paying that so I ended up ordering quarter and dollar coin rolls to roll my own as well. (Today I will be taking $100 worth of quarters and dollar coins to my bank, thank you very much, keeping the 11 dollars that Coin Star would have charged me...) What I didn't pay attention to was how many coin rolls I was ordering. I swear it said "100" and not the "1000" I received OF EACH. How am I going to use up a 1000 coin rolls?!?!?  Cripes. I you need coin rolls please email me. I would be happy to send you a couple of hundred for free! Really. Tell your friends. Post it at church! I have coin rolls to share!!!!

Rocko has not peed on the door for a whole 24 hours. This is good. He DID pee in the tub last night  - he used to do that a lot but he had stopped doing that for some reason. I was thrilled he peed in the tub. This makes me happy. Cleaning a tub is EASY compared to a 'tard cat marking the entrance to my home. (We all pee in the shower at times, admit it. I'm not judging Rocko for doing it when I have on occasion done it...) Wish me luck with Rocko. There must be hope for him, I am sure of it! If not, does anyone want a kitty?

August 4, 2015 - Grandcat Rocko is officially an almost out-of-door kitty. He likes it outside, especially when there is no spastic Lucy or loud noises. (He hates loud noises and will run to the nearest door.) He likes to walk outside with me when I water flowers. He greets Jake as if he is welcoming him to HIS yard. "Come, Jake - enjoy this lovely grass. Here, let me show you how to roll in it..." Rocko has spent several nights outside on walkabout (which means he stays in the wheel well of one of the cars and comes back through the door in the morning covered with oil and dirt) or he's been having a hoot chasing fireflies and crickets. The first time I saw him playing with a cricket he would chase it, put his paw down on it and hold it there, looking around to make sure it wasn't hopping away then he would let it loose and start the game all over again. Watching him the first time with fireflies made me almost pee my pants laughing. If cats could talk, Rocko would have been saying, "What the HELL is this!?!?" He has not peed on the front door in 5 days and seems almost happy. He will spread out in the living room on his back, belly exposed -which is the ultimate 'trust' sign from a cat - and he will love on my husband from time to time (Meaning he wants to be petted WITHOUT being fed! Amazing!! He will sleep on the foot of our bed when he is inside and I feel him just oozing kitty love. (Not really - I feel him finally feeling like he's at 'home' I think...not so much LOVE yet...)

My sister and niece gave me a huge zucchini so I used half tonight and shredded it up to make zucchini fritters. I wanted something I could eat without saturated fat and fritters came to mind. After shredding it I FORGOT TO DRAIN THE WATER!! DUH. (You are supposed to toss it with a bit of salt and let it drain to get the water out but I was in a hurry after work.) I had walked in the door and started a load of wash and shredded the zucchini and put BBQ sauce on the pork I had in the slow cooker and changed my clothes and chopped up onions and ... I was doing too much at once an 11 hour work day. As I mixed in the egg and a bit of shredded low fat cheese and the flour and such, I realized it was way too watery for fritters so I added some heart healthy Bisquick mix and mixed it until it was thick enough for zucchini pancakes. THEY WERE DIVINE. I fried them in olive oil. Yum. Really, yum. If you've not made yourself zucchini fritters, you should. Tonight. (Remember to drain the zucchini.)

I went to see my Aunt on Monday at lunch because she had kind of messed up her PC. When she gets frustrated I am sure she points and clicks with a vengeance. Took me a bit to remedy the old PC, but I got it back 'on line' and she was happy. Her hearing is bad enough where phone calls are almost impossible with her nowadays and emailing is so much easier. Both my Aunt and Uncle were angry at life and fighting with each other. I asked them to wait until I left before they fought, but I think that they just might think the way they were acting was NORMAL so I let it go. I showed my Aunt the flowers my husband brought me from the gladiolus farm to our south and she said, "Yes, you showed me yesterday." I wasn't there on Sunday, my sister was, and she had shown my Aunt pictures of flowers as well. She gets us two confused a lot... As long as my Aunt knows we're checking on her I don't care who she thinks we are. 

I got a smart phone last week. Since our work phones are off contract now, we have the option to take our phone numbers with us and get our own phone and the company will pay us a stipend to help us cover our cost. I got a cheaper Windows Lumia 640 XL phone. I was NOT going to buy a 400-700 dollar phone!! It's just a phone! Considering I got a cheaper model, that thing can do almost EVERYTHING. I'm pretty sure I could download an app to sweep the floor and dust as well. So far I'm impressed with it!

It has been warmer now so I've had to water a lot; more than I've had to all season. I enjoy watering the flowers because it is quite relaxing to me. My glad bed out back has produced several red glads and many yellow ones. I got a magazine in the mail today that has a ton of new fairy garden stuff - my mind is still contemplating my fairy kingdom that I want to create next summer... My goal since late 1998 is to go in to my dementia years as a happy person. I do NOT want to be so bitter and angry as my Aunt is and my Mom was when she started to go over the edge. I don't want to feel life cheated me. I don't want to feel like I gave up myself for everyone else and regret that I did. I want to be happy now so that when I go over the abyss of dementia down the road because my Mom's side of the family have a tendency to do just that, well - I want to be the happiest, goofiest confused woman you've ever met. So, if I want to have a fairy / gnome kingdom in my yard, I will - just to keep the art of 'playing' alive in my mind while I still have one...

August 6, 2015 - No sooner than I posted the blogging above that Rocko decided, "Hey, I need to pee on that front door!!" Ugh. He keeps getting cuter and more endearing yet he does something like that and you want to drag him by his tail behind the car...

Had dinner with 'the girls' (my High School Herd) last night. We ate on the patio of the restaurant. It was a nice evening and it is always fun to get out with those guys. Kathy mentioned that she and her husband and a group of from her place of work went to see Aerosmith the night before and she was feeling it. She also said she was fascinated how music transformed the audience (mostly older people that grew up listening to them - and we are all old and gray now) into their former self - the look on the the faces in the arena almost made her cry. Everyone there, for the length of the concert, was YOUNG again. This is why I think music is so important - it massages the brain.

My oldest read the posting about my fairy garden and dementia rant and said, "At least if you are into fairy gardens when you are old, we can contain you to the yard" which made me laugh loudly. True, I probably would be easily entertained by that hobby. I highly suggest that the kids put up a fence so I don't chase birds, butterflies, or squirrels down the road. I would no doubt be naked as well, so really - Consider A Fence!

August 11, 2015 - Seriously, I just got a spam call at 9:24 p.m. Even my kids know they had better be almost dead to call after nine p.m. I reported it to FTC do not call government site. I decided to do this each time I get a stupid call. Last time I was at my Aunt's house, they got a stupid call and I told them to take my Aunt off their list and NEVER CALL AGAIN as my Aunt's number is on the DO NOT CALL registry and I was going to report them. It probably doesn't do any good but it made me feel better. My Aunt and Uncle also literally get pounds of mail phishing for donations and goodness knows how many calls. Ugh. Just Ugh.

I am forcing myself to stay awake to go out around midnight and see some Perseid meteor shower. Or, I will attempt to sleep a bit in my chair, then go out. You only live once and I do enjoy those showers. When the moon is not out, you see lots of almost fireballs and streaks from them. I do so love fireballs. Last night I was looking out my bedroom window from bed and staring at Cassiopeia through the screen and saw a fireball! Woot. Not many people I know care about the showers but I do. I spent SO MANY YEARS having severe panic attacks about anything related to God, stars, science, and the Universe. My favorite classes in school were the science classes but I would choke myself from panic and be unable to enjoy them like I wanted to. It took me FOREVER to beat the panic down like the bad donkey that it was and now I enjoy the Heavens SO MUCH I could poop myself. I know it is just debris burning up in our atmosphere. I don't care. It looks stunning and it amazes me. The concept of the Universe in itself if overwhelming. I feel so insignificant compared to the big picture but so much more alive RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW knowing this fact. I don't care if you believe in a God or not or if you care about the massive Universe or not. I don't care that they've proved the Universe is dying. All things die. (Another concept we just cannot comprehend as humans.) I am just so happy to be alive in this time of the Universe. We are all just darned lucky to be here NOW! Most humans just don't care about things like that and don't get to enjoy the fact that we are blessed to be here and seeing what we see. But I digress...

That little rant brought tears to my eyes. I get very emotional over being here on this Earth. I'm sure, had I been an amoebae or an eye mite, I wouldn't be so excited about such things I feel lucky that I'm a stupid human who can 'feel' and 'appreciate' the surroundings. I would like to stand outside with mosquitoes seeing what the Universe has to throw at me than watch six seconds of Donald Trump on T.V. any day!!!

August 18, 2015 - Ah, to catch up on a week of fun and excitement. Hard for me, since my life is rarely fun and exciting...

We'll start with the beginning of my 'vacation' that started last Thursday. I went in to get my crown put on and my other tooth prepared for a crown. I had taken a 'don't spaz' pill the night before and another one an hour before the appointment. I am not sure what I was thinking! It was NOT a root canal! I didn't need all those drugs!! Duh. I came home from the crowning (where I got to pick out TWO new dinosaur toys for being a "model" patient  because I was so highly drugged I was actually happy to be there in the chair listening to the music) and fell asleep until Friday morning. I lost a lot of time because I was not that bright! Oh well, I did get dinosaur toys! Friday  we got ready and packed and prepared for out weekend trip to Chicago. My daughter has suggested we come see the Chicago Air Show since the Blue Angels were performing. I had won that $400 weekend get away from work, so I thought - HECK YEAH! I got boat tickets for all six of us to go on the morning brunch boat with the prize money and then bought us six tickets for the Spirit of Chicago lunch cruise where we would watch the Blue Angels from the water! I was quite excited. We got our 'boat clothes' and our neighbors were very kind to watch Jake the Dog and Rocko the Cat.

I had purchased a new Garmin device with traffic updates for that trip. I set her all up to get us to the parking garage in Chicago where I had rented a spot in for the weekend. I cannot say enough about that Garmin. She was a lifesaver! She knew of all the road work and constructions and took us around it and talked in such a calm voice. She took the stress out of diving to Chicago for me! I thanked Garmin a LOT and often on the way there.

We almost lost her, however. When we got to the Indiana border, it announced it was low on battery. I had it plugged in to the outlet (cigarette lighter hole) thinking it would charge her. She died and we pulled in to a rest area. NO, GARMIN! NOOOOOO!! My husband checked the fuses. While he was down low looking at the fuses, he said, "What the hell does that say?" "What?" I didn't know what he was talking about. He went around to the passenger side of the car and pulled a cap off of a 12 volt outlet for devices such as Gramin. "You've have that car for 11 years and you didn't know you had that hole?!?!" he asked. We laughed quite hard. Once we plugged Garmin back in, BAM - we were ready to go! She talked me calmly through all the construction and roads and chaos that is Chicago.

Saturday we went to see my soninlaw perform in one of his bands. It was at the Glenwood Avenue Arts Festival. We took the Red Line up there and watching out the window I was floored by the amount of apartments - row after row after row stacked so high... I made the kids look up how many people lived in Chicago - "2.719 million" was the response. Holy Crap!

When we got to the festival there were SO MANY BOOTHS to look at! Such awesome art and jewelry and untold other items. My daughter and I walked around while we waited for the band to start playing. I actually bought myself a bracelet! FOR A GIRL!  It was shiny! I did a GIRLY TYPE THING! The band rocked and it was a good time. We were all soaked from sweat since it was so hot out. When we got back to my daughter's apartment we ordered 'real' Chicago style pizza. (Well, I didn't  - I got a delicious veggie pizza. It was divine!) My daughter and I took granddaughter dog Zora to the dog park and let her romp about. There were a lot of cool doggies there. The kiddie swimming pools were the most popular thing there that night, however. (For the dogs - but I was tempted...) Saturday night I didn't sleep. We were in my daughter's bed and my husband couldn't get comfortable and kept punching me or kicking me while he flopped around. I watched the clock tick away all night. I was excited to get Sunday started, anyway...

Sunday we went to Navy Pier and took the Spirit of Chicago out in the morning. Lovely time - great brunch - we saw some planes flying. The inside decks on the boat were air conditioned, thank goodness. My husband did not do well in the heat. He was feeling poorly. He wasn't sure if he could make it for the second outing on that boat. I went back up deck to where the kids were and cried. I really wanted to go back out and see the Blue Angels. The kids decided that they would send their Dad home to the apartment in a cab, because MOM WAS GOING TO SEE THE ANGELS. My husband felt a bit better once he cooled down inside Navy Pier in the air conditioning. My daughter got him some Tylenol and drinks to hydrate him. He said he could go out again. So we boarded the same boat and went out for the afternoon.

Loved seeing the Angels! Zoommm! I got sunburned on my shoulders because I wore a sun type dress and had sweat off my sunscreen. (Right now I'm sitting here wrapped in a sheet so nothing is touching my shoulders. I have not gotten this sunburned in YEARS. A good reason, however, to pretend I'm wearing a toga...) This kids got burned up good themselves. My husband stayed below in the air conditioning and didn't come up to see the Angels. What he got was a headache since there was a D.J. on board and was pumpin' out the jams - loudly. Sigh. He was doomed to be miserable. The kids and I had a hoot, however. Like I said, the food was awesome, the shoreline of Chicago was beautiful, and the water was lovely. (Note the picture below of Navy Pier - the flags are at half staff. Saturday a jumper from the Army Golden Knights parachute team was hit mid air by a Navy Leapfrog and ended up hitting a high rise and falling to the ground. He passed away the next day. So sad.) 






I don't know if you can tell, but look at ALL THOSE BOATS OUT THERE to watch the Air show! A line of hundreds!!



It had three decks - It was HUGE!! (Well, to me - I don't get out much!)

When we got back to my daughter's apartment, we packed up and hit the road home. So much road construction. I LOVE MY GARMIN! She was so WONDERFUL!! I was out of the city with not TOO much stress. Last time we went, we didn't have a GPS that had real time road info, so it was quite frustrating. How people made it out West in covered wagons without GPS is beyond me...When we got home, Jake the Dog was SO HAPPY TO SEE US he cried for 1/2 an hour. Really. NO lie there. He cried and cried and cried. Ron said he missed us a lot when we talked Saturday night. He wouldn't stay at their house. He had to be here in case we came back. Smile. Jake slept with us ALL NIGHT Sunday night. He was ever so happy we were back. He has only been left with the kids if us grown up were gone, so he was always around family members. This time, he was with Dear Ron and Dear Sue, but poor Jake - he was missing us a lot. "Aweoooooooooo woooo....Ahhh woooooooooooooo woooo...." Poor Dude!  Smile.

Monday I had another cyst removed from my head. Now I am sporting some stylish blue stitches. Only one more cyst to go for now. I will get more. I am a cyst maker. Nothing much I can do to prevent it, so it seems. But it will be nice for them to be gone because when they get big, they kind of hurt and put a lot of pressure on my wee brain! Monday evening I made a big batch of salsa and that is what we had for supper - Chips and Salsa! It was DELICIOUS!! I LOVE FRESH SALSA! (Yes, I'm screaming, because I love it so much!)  I had it on my scrambled eggs this morning. Yum.

August 20, 2015 - I have a PC in the kitchen as back up device. That PC has a touch screen. I meant to mention that the other night I was on line on that thing and there was a fruit fly or something that was attracted to the light bouncing off the screen and every time it hit the screen, it would open up whatever it 'tapped' and after about a half hour, it got very frustrating. it was still kind of funny that a small little bug like that cold point and click with a vengeance. If I mentioned this before in a blog, I apologize. To me it was so funny once I got over the initial anger phase of it all.

I got sunburned in Chicago on Sunday, and it is still very sore but I keep it doctored up. I am a very pale person, so I look like a fat candy cane with all the white and red going on. I would post a picture, but that would scare small children. I did email a pic of my shoulders to my sister who was quite concerned but I assured her I was OK. (I might change my tune when my arms fall off and the melanoma kicks in...) As a kid, there was no sun screen that I was aware of... We would get burned and suffer over and over again. Our Sun doesn't mess around. I feel it has gotten hotter and stronger which is most likely true, although I've gotten larger so maybe I'm the one closer to it by expansion.

I am eating salsa on my eggs again this a.m. which uses up the batch I had made. I would eat that stuff every day given a choice. I will be making it a lot now that the tomatoes and all the ingredients are coming on and so available at the Farmer's Market. (I think it was my BFF Vickie who asked if we had a garden since we had so much property to do so and now that I'm munching away on my salsa, I wonder that myself. Why didn't I plant a garden? Why DON'T I plant a garden? I must remedy this next year...remind me...)

Rocko the Pisser struck again. He's peed by the front door twice sine last weekend. The boy ain't right and the urge to strangle him grows within me. Does anyone want a cat? He is currently outside enjoying the cooler weather. (Not by choice, mind you.)

August 24, 2015 - My husband has a doctor's appointment this afternoon, so I will type while I wait for him to get home. Also, my daughter just called. Her boyfriend - my 'soninlaw' - proposed to her! She just called to tell me!! (Patrick had asked my husband for her hand in marriage when we were in Chicago.) I have been waiting all this time for him to do the deed and he finally did. She called to scream in my ear her excitement. They are out West on vacation. I am sure there will be pictures to follow. I think they've been together 10 years now? Not sure - it's been a while.

Friday I had the day off. I spent some of that time over at my Aunt's house. I changed the hummingbird feeder out and took them supper. I visited with them. I changed their bedding for them. The garbage cans were nearly full in all the rooms, so I consolidated all of the bags to stage to take out when I left. There has been a huge cardboard box in their bathroom for years (from a radio they got as a gift) and that box has become wet and sat in the humidity and such for so long, I told my Uncle I was bringing it home to burn up. :"It's just moldy and smells, Uncle Lorin!" I whined. He gave me permission to dispose of it. Oh, my - the wrong thing to do... When I left they were screaming at each other over the box. Aunt Jean wanted to save it to put the radio and speaker (that she claims doesn't work) in to send out to the 'farm' with her grand kids. I told her that my cousin and his two boys were big enough to each grab a piece and take it home if they really wanted that radio. Sigh. When I got home I did laundry and then went to the Farmer's Market to get stuff to make more salsa. I diced and chopped until I felt better. Then I dragged my husband off to dinner so I could have a beer. I had several beers. My husband drove us to go grocery shopping afterwards. That was my Friday excitement.

I had today off as well. If you want a day off to yourself FOR yourself, DO NOT STAY AT HOME. I slept in on this, a vacation day for me. I checked emails and Facebook when I woke up and then I ate breakfast. I am really not sure what I expected I would do today, but what I did was not that. I rinsed off the dishes and put them in the dish washer. I cleaned the sink, because once the dishes were out of there it was way too dirty to walk away from. Then I washed my pillow which is a 'MyPillow' that is just made up of a bunch of foam pieces inside and you can wash it to freshen it up and give it back it's youthful UMPH. I have actually enjoyed that pillow a lot. (Wait, I don't love it or anything, but it works. I've had softer pillows and pillows I LOVED but this MyPillow WORKS and I don't wake up with kinks in my neck or a sore back or anything.) It is on its third round in the dryer because MyPililow takes a while to dry and MyDryer is not working like it used to - I feel it's pain...

Since I washed the pillow, I changed the bedding. That was another load of wash to do - the bedding and various random towels. When I was out in the laundry room, I was stepping barefooted on kitty litter that Rocko slings around the room with gusto. It is part of the house bargain that my husband sweeps and I do dishes and the rest of the stuff. However, since I was walking on litter (which is a far cry from sunshine) I decided to sweep for him today. After all, I had a day off and he did not. So I swept. I noticed the room sized rug was askew. You have to move out everything in the laundry room to re-skew the rug, so I did that. Once I moved the rug, there was tons of crap to be swept up UNDER the rug. I finally got that done and moved on the kitchen.

Lordy, no one should look at anything in their home during daylight hours because YOU WILL SEE EVERYTHING - spider webs and marauding dust bunnies, you name it and you will see it. I saw spider webs behind the stove, so I pulled out the stove and cleaned behind and under that. Ick. Then I saw on the other side all the goop that had fallen down that side of the stove and I cleaned that up. While I was down there cleaning I saw all the crap on the front of the bottom cupboards, so I spend more time on my buttocks scooting around cleaning those. In between all of that I washed my bathroom rugs and tried to sweep the crap up behind the toilet. We have a small, crappy old house that was originally supposed to be someone's garage. It was built by someone who had seen someone open up a bag of cement once, but they didn't hang around long enough to learn how to use said cement. Sigh. It isn't a pretty set up in my bathroom, so cleaning it sometimes feels futile since you can't really tell anything was done. However, seeing all the spider webs behind the toilet inspired me to at least try to clean up things back there. I cleaned the toilet and the mirror. I cleaned the front of the tub. I swept the living room and found that ROCKO THE PISSER had struck. Really, I am getting so sick of this. But I digress... That area was cleaned and sanitized and I put the fan on the front door area and verbally berated Rocko for his issue with my front door. Then I threw him outside for a while to make myself feel better. Won't be long and Rocko is going to find himself fending for himself out in the country. Sigh. I then cleaned out my pretty - pretty cupboard and shined up all my sparkly shiny things glass things. I cooked up my taco turkey so we can have nachos tonight. I also saw all the crap on my oven's knobs and had to take them all off and clean those. Sigh. I think besides one last load of laundry, I am done for the day.

I am off to get the salad read to go along with our nachos. Ah, time off can be so darned exciting...

August 28, 2015 - Having time off was nice, but working is OK, too. You don't see how dirty your house is at work...

On Wednesday my wee one and his woman and Watson the Grand-dog came over. I needed my son to help me give Jake a bath. Jake had not had a bath in over a year at least. After this one, I don't think I'll try to give Jake a bath ever again...

My son is strong and strapping so getting Jake in the tub isn't an issue for the wee one. He's always hauled Jake in the tub and sat in there with him while I washed Jake. After we were done and Jake was out and shaking off all over the place, we put Watson on a leash and let Jake run outside. Jake was all over, running as if he was a puppy again. He was also showing off for Watson who couldn't run - yet. Jake taunted Watson by running past him. "Look at Meeeee! I am FREEEEEE!" We eventually let Watson off the leash and then Watson gave Jake a run for his money. (Let me mention here how I adore Watson again. He is a gem among dogs. Maybe it is just because he's dumb as a box of rocks and so cute, but he's MY box of rocks...) Jake attempted to frolic with Watson for a bit and then Sophie came over and fun was had by all. As we talked to the neighbors, Jake and Sophie meandered around. (Watson was back on the leash. Sophie and Watson are not friends.)

After we talked with Sue and Ron for a bit and the dogs were done wandering, home we came. The kids stayed for a bit longer then left. Jake seemed fine. Rocko was thrilled Watson was gone. The whole house was happy, until it came time for bed...

Jake was crying. He didn't want to get on the couch or lie / lay / hunker down on the floor. He was shaking from pain. He was favoring his front left paw. I asked if he had to potty and he walked out with me - but just sat there crying. Sigh. We broke the poor boy. He is not a teenager anymore. He was running around taunting Watson as if he WAS a teen dog - full of youth. Now Jake was paying the piper. I got him to finally come back in and I got on the floor with him. I asked my husband to throw us a fluffy blanket so we had some protection from the rock hard cement floor. I had MyPillow and Jake and soon Rocko joined the love pile. I stayed out there feeling Jake up, muscle by muscle, to see if I could get a reaction out of him or feel something broken. His breathing was fine and his nose was cold and there was no specific reaction to any place I touched. The old dude was just that - Old and Sore. My fat butt was quite numb from being on that hard floor for so long, so I moved to the couch. Jake also wanted to be on the couch with me. Jake is a big dog. I am a huge human. That was not going to work. He could barely pull himself up on the couch so I just went to my bed and let him have the couch.

In the morning he wouldn't eat or move. I had to coax him outside and he finally (at least) peed. No poop for Jake yesterday a.m., and Jake is a twice a day pooper like his "Mom." I left him to go to work just standing there - looking quite miserable. I came home at lunch and he acted a wee bit better. He went outside and peed and he managed to walk about for a bit. I gave him a quarter of an aspirin before I went back to work. He moved better when I got home for work. He came out with me and walked over to see where a squirrel had just been. Sophie came for a cookie and he sniffed her and greeted her, but no frolic! The both had a cookie, Sophie went home, and Jake stayed on the couch. I gave him another quarter of an aspirin at 10 p.m. and we all went to bed. This morning he could hold his head up, he ate like a starving monkey, and he could wag his tail. A welcome sight!! Poor Old Jakey;  Being a 10 year old doggie is a hard, hard thing. I've not seen him poop yet this morning and as any good Mom/Nurse knows - THE POOP MUST FLOW! (I'll keep you updated so contain your excitement.)

September 1, 2015 - First of all, September 1st, Already??!!  Whaaaaaaatttttt???????? Second of all, Happy September already. Really. This has been the oddest summer season I can recall. (And at this point in my brain's history, I still can recall things.) It is hazy out from fog and the fires out west. It feels weird and looks weird.

Did I mention that my "soninlaw" asked my daughter for her hand in marriage? I think I did. Anyway, my daughter mentioned that when I blog about "soninlaw" soon, I will be able to drop the quotation marks. Smile. So then he will be son in law Pat instead of "soninlaw" Pat. Wow, I bet Pat is all excited about the upgrade!! Smile.They have already been together ten years, so I wonder if they get credit for time served? I hope so. If it were me, I would CLAIM those ten years when people asked how long I'd been married. (Like transferring credits when you switch universities.)

I almost barfed on the computer yesterday morning when I saw all the hype about Miley Cirus and weeping Beiber and Kanye West and such from the MTV music awards. When "news" leads off with this stuff, it scares me. This country is in dire shape. I think we let the media lead us by the eyeballs down the incorrect paths of thought and I think the media has us by the scrotum. It is a sad, sad thing. Maybe Kanye can be Trump's Vice President. I hardly think he can be President...(insert dry heave noises here.)

Lucy the neighbor doggie has been missing or out of sight. I miss her spazziness. I hope she's OK...

I made stuffed peppers on Saturday night for supper. Not too shabby. I had turkey filling left over so I ate that like stir fry this morning with a scrambled egg. Yum. I used quinoa instead of rice. Yesterday I took my Aunt and Uncle a stuffed pepper each, and some pumpkin muffins. I told them both that the pepper may give the too much acid reflux, so they could scoop out the insides and just eat that, so I did warn them. Anytime I take them food I worry my cooking will kill them. Their apartment needed to be cleaned and the garbage cans needed to be taken out, but I was on lunch and didn't take the time. I feel guilty for that. No one had been over to check on them since last Thursday. Sigh. My Aunt forgot she was talking to me and started talking about 'Sandy' - I am glad she didn't say anything horrid to me about me. (We may have been upset by that...)

I've had many dreams lately that are notable (to me) and I wonder what causes such dreams? Last night was a very pleasant dream that will make me smile all day long. Contented Sigh. The other night I had a dream I got a real silver dollar back as change from a store and it felt so real that when I woke up I kept checking my real purse, looking for it! A brain in a powerful thing. I can analyze those dreams all to heck, I'm sure. I bet there are hidden meanings in them but I choose not to go searching for those meanings and just enjoy the show, as it were...

September 9, 2015 - A cutest little bird told me I had not updated my site for a while, so I best get on it!! Smile

The long weekend was fun. My daughter and son in-law were down with granddogter Zora. I was a bit tipsy on Friday night, enjoying some Miller Lite and dancing my buttocks off to Band Company in the house, so when they got here they got a fully inebriated Mom. We were up 'til the wee hours of the morning. It was fun! (Well, for ME it was fun. Not sure how the family felt...) Saturday I drank lots and lots of water. All the kids came over for pizza in the afternoon and we had a hoot. I did not stay up all night Saturday night! Sunday was a lazy, hot day. My son in-law's family had a Labor Day party but it was too hot for me to go. I did get the makings for salsa and cranked up the air conditioner and made a huge batch of salsa and a batch of pumpkin muffins. All the kids were back Sunday night for a late salsa supper.

Monday the kids left for Chicago around two p.m. and I caught up on laundry then took a nap. My husband suggested we go out for Chinese Monday night so we went to the Hibachi Sushi Buffet. I was surprised at the end of dinner when he thought I was paying. Surprise! I thought since he asked me out, it was his treat. What was I thinking!!?? From now on, I'm am getting the facts up front. I am punishing him this week by cooking at home every night (which means he has to wait to eat and that drives him nuts.) I'm evil, true - but dinner has been awesome! I made a turkey "hash" on Tuesday night with lean ground turkey. I cooked up celery and onions and spiced up the turkey and cooked a head of cauliflower and chopped it up like potatoes and threw it in. It was really very good. I had the leftovers for lunch. Tonight I cooked spaghetti squash in the microwave while I cooked Italian turkey sausage and threw that in with spaghetti sauce. Tomorrow night it will be something with chicken...

The Chicago kids will have to let me know when the BIG BIRTHDAY BONANZA will be. We will have a bonfire and celebrate all of our Birthdays. We're all in the month of September or October (except the wee one!) That will be fun, but we will have to find things to burn before that. That should be pretty easy since all the trees in our yard are dying or dead - so wood is abundant if someone is willing to put in some work.

Rocko the Cat is happier here than ever. He is especially happy tonight since he's high on cat nip. He was outside when I was talking to my neighbors, eating and eating the last of the cat nip. He practically fell over after a while. All was well tonight with hippie Rocko. Rocko and Jake get along like best buddies now. This morning when I took Jake out to poop, Rocko decided to come with us. (Since it was dark, he stuck close to Jake.) Jake went out front to do his business, and Rocko stared at this process - staring at the act of Jake pooping then looking at me. Back and forth - as if to say, "Woman, are you SEEING THIS?!? He is POOPING on the grass!" After Jake was done and romped up to the house, Rocko sniffed the pile and looked up at me again, then sniffed the pile, then he decided to squat and pee. He did the little kitty kick to cover it up and spastically ran up to Jake and myself. He came back in the house with us, strutting his stuff like he was king. I think it was very freeing for Rocko to know it was OK to do his business outside. (Normally he will be out for a while then make a bee line to the litter box when he would come in, as if he had been holding it. We are slowly working the city out of the kitty...)

September 11, 2015 - This morning was very foggy when I took Jake out for his morning constitutional. It was still dark, so I had my handy dandy flashlight. I got so wrapped up in watching the millions of tiny water particles fly through the beam of light that I didn't pay any attention to Jake whatsoever. He could have pottied, he could have not...I'll never know - I was too fascinated by the light beam. Sigh. I'm such a cheap date.

The other morning I saw the sandhill cranes out back. I miss my cranes. I miss them coming up to the house and eating and hanging out. Since there have been dogs and new neighbors and such, my cranes stopped coming around. It was so awesome seeing them just cooling off under the trees out front of walking past the house, screaming. I am happy, however, that they are still out there and humans have not drove them away completely I just heard a 'herd' of them flying over. It is getting to be that time of year for them to start to group up and hangout and have tailgate parties and such...

Speaking of birds, Rocko the Cat got his first bird. (That's Mr. Rocko to you! Snap.) Rocko was outside when I left for work yesterday morning and he wouldn't come in when I left, so I thought I'd run home at lunch to let him in. Work has been so busy that I did not get a chance to leave yesterday, so he was home all day, He was out until my husband got home. I noticed the dead bluejay last night when doing dishes and looking out the kitchen window. It was a very large blue jay. It looks as if his neck was broken, but he wasn't 'eaten' or ripped apart at all. So Rock is a sports hunter... He was very lovey dovey last night, which is SO not Rocko, so maybe he was proud, or maybe he was regretful. (Either way, after humping the fuzzy blanket, he slept all evening and night.)

I posted this on Facebook, but will share it here as well. This guy was on the car I parked next to a few weeks ago. He was looking at me as if to say, GET OUT OF HERE, PAPARAZZI!!

There have been a lot of mantises out and about from all the pictures I've seen posted lately. It is getting time for the adults to lay their eggs (and then they die, may they rest in peace. Pretty severe way to get out of child rearing, but whadya gonna do). The females sometimes will sever the head of the male during or after mating. You've got to admire that type of moxie. Females sometimes consume the males as well. Wow. (I wonder if a male mantis happens to live to walk away from a female after the mating act - is he then regarded as SUPER LOVER and struts off with 'Stayin' Alive' playing in the background or does it mean he was the WORST thing this side of nothing and was so bad he doesn't even deserve to be consumes?? We'll never know...) Did you know the closest relative to a mantis are cockroaches?!

I suppose I should get my buttocks in gear and get to work. I can ponder the life and times of mantises at a later date. I am pretty sure NONE of them are worried about me in the least bit. Live and let live, baby, I always say....

September 15, 2015 - I was out with Jake this morning whilst it was still dark, and saw a very bright Venus to the East. I thought to myself, "Man, I wonder what cave men thought when they saw that? I bet they wish they had the internet..."

"Ugh, what that?"
"Me look up on tablet..." (stone tablet, of course, but that goes without saying....) "..bright thing Venus"
"Ugh, good. Ummm, what Venus?"

By the time I got done making myself chortle I had lost track of Jake and he had run all the way to the back of the property to poop. Sigh. I had my trusty flashlight so all was well and I was able to find him, but my suggestion to people with younger, faster dogs - don't daydream about cavemen and planets when walking your dog...

Last night I took Jake to the neighbors with me to water flowers. Jake has been over there a million times. I am sure Jake has pooped in every corner of their yard...but last night when I was over at the edge watering, he started barking and growling and running back and forth. He was jumping around like John Belushi sneaking to the Dean's office in 'Animal House'. It took me a minute to realize he was having a fit over a big, carved wooden bear in one of the flower beds. It was as big as Jake, this bear, and Jake was so upset by it! Hahahaha. Jake was also concerned I was getting to close to the 'thing' and barked more. I watered the bear and Jake stopped jumping around. I "petted" the bear and talked Jake up to it. He touched noses with the bear and then all was well after that. Once he realized there was no threat, off he went - happy as a clam. Sigh. It gave me a good chuckle though and I slept much better knowing no wooden bear was gonna kill me in my sleep without Jake barking and running around like an idiot.

My daughter turned 28 yesterday. Where did the time go? I can say that, but I bet she's saying it too! Sigh. My oldest will be 35 in a few weeks as well. Thank goodness I've not aged a day since I had them. Lucky for me I fell into a quirky space-time rip and can stay so youthful. Yeah. That's it...

September 24, 2015 - It has been a while since I blessed you with the insight of my mundane life, so without further ado...

When I pulled into the driveway tonight, I heard Jake barking with joy to see me. He is always so damned happy when we get home. I let him out right away since it was such a lovely night. Perfectly blue sky and stunning weather. Jake ran off to the back by our burn pit to poop. I stood there with my cell phone, taking a picture of my early birthday present from my sister - she made me a ceramic boot. It is quite cute, looks like a real boot, and was a perfect decoration for Fall with added fake flowers!

Anyway, I'm taking picture of my Birthday Boot and I hear a little motor coming closer, and I heard someone chanting "Bark Bark Bark Bark..." I looked up to see the neighbor boy heading for Jake as fast as a battery operated Barbie car could go. The whole time he is repeating "Bark  Bark  Bark  Bark  Bark  Bark ..."

Jake looked at me, then at the approaching child, back at me, back at the kid - and then he started running towards me. I don't blame him. "Come On, Jake! Save yourself!" I yelled. The little boy steered the car towards where Jake was running. I walked back and met him in the yard. He stopped.

"Hi. Dude, don't run over my dog."
"Yes!" he replied.
"Are you Marshall?" I asked.
"Yes!" he replied.

(Marshall is well known to me. I think I blogged before how I had seen a little boy bolt out of the neighbor's door and run to the front of the house. I was quite worried and was ready to walk over there when I saw an adult come out screaming for 'Marshal' and running out front as well. Marshall made a break for it, obviously. Other times you can year the parents yelling things like, "Come back, Marshall" or "Stop it, Marshall" or "Marshall, where ARE YOU?" so you get the general idea that Marshall is a handful. I've never met Marshall face to face, though. Marshall is a cutie pie up close.)

"Marshall, can you drive that car home?"
"Yes!" he replied.
"Then go home, Marshall!" I said.
"Yes!" he replied and sat there, staring at me. He babbled a bit and was pointing to his yard. I had not idea what Marshall was trying to tell me, so I decided to walk Marshall home. He would drive beside me, stopping to let me catch up if I fell behind.

"These yards are bumpy..." I muttered.
"Yes!" said Marshall.

We crossed back over my yard and the neighbor's yard in between our houses and into Marshall's back yard. As a Mom, I get all weirded out and my gut hurts if a child is loose and free and I don't see a parental unit or sibling nearby. I didn't see Marshall's sister nor his parents. Marshall parked in the back yard and babbled on about something again. I had no clue what he was saying, of course. so I pretended to understand - shaking my head and saying, "Boy, Howdy! Ain't that always the way..." a lot.

I was ready to walk up to knock on the door when big sister came running. She had a bag of Cheerios. "Cheerios, I love 'em! Best cereal ever!" I said. Little sister shook her head in agreement as she was patted Marshall on the head. Then came Dad. "I found your son..." I said. "He was trying to run over my dog..." I explained. "I've heard you yell at him, so I am going to assume this is the famous Marshall, right?" The Dad confirmed I was, in fact, in the presence of the famous Marshall. Then the Mom came running. I am sure they all figured out at once, in their house, that Marshall was missing in action. They thanked me for bringing him home. Jake came over to see us all after he got over the shock of being targeted by an angry toddler. He was kissing everyone and wagging his tail and Marshall was so scared he tried to climb up his Mom. This, I think, is why Marshall was trying to run over Jake - he was scared of him. I believe Marshall's parents have a long haul ahead of them as Marshall grows up. I will keep you posted.  Marshall, Marshall, Marshall...

This weekend, my oldest will turn 35 years old. (I don't feel 35 years old half the time! How can HE be 35 years old?) Both the boys are coming over this weekend as the Birthday boy requested homemade lasagna. I will make this for him. It pleases me when the kids like my cooking. They have fond memories of some meals here at home. I've not decided on a dessert, but I have a good idea what I will fix...

I went out with my high school girlfriends on Tuesday night. We had a hoot. We ended the evening laughing hysterically about getting older and about age in general. I am glad we can laugh about it. Even if we fall and break our hips and lose our hearing and go blind, we will be laughing, I'm pretty sure of that. (Remember, if you are going to laugh hysterically with your girlfriends, go to the bathroom FIRST!)

Neighbor dog Lucy came over for a visit then disappeared. (Jake was inside and Sophie had gone home so there was no one to play with.) Where Lucy went, I had no idea, but I knew the general direction. I heard the neighbor calling for her and finally she walked over looking for her. She was home alone with the kids, so I told her I would drive down the road and look for Lucy. I found Lucy running around like an idiot a few houses down. She jumped right in the car when I called her. I brought her home. I adore Lucy. She is a spaz and a half but I adore her. I told my neighbor that we couldn't scold her since she came back with a willing heart. At least Lucy got in a good run. It is nights like this I am ever so glad I put on my Fat Woman's Sports Bra before working in the yard. (Normally I just walk about my yard with the 'girls' a floppin' and dragging on the ground but tonight something told me to 'wear some thing so you don't scare little kids or puppies'...)

September 28, 2015 - Last night the clouds parted, the moon put on a good show, and a meandering skunk added a certain "je ne sais quoi" to the whole experience. I was officially mooned. I stood out and watched the eclipse in my nightie. I could hear my neighbor Sue out there in her yard. She turned off her porch light. The neighbors with the mercury light didn't have it on, so it was perfect viewing. I was afraid I wouldn't get to see it since it had been cloudy all day. I think the clouds opened up for us just so we could view this awesome sight. I wish I had a good enough camera to get a picture of it but without a tripod to steady any camera, it would have been a futile effort. I used a little pair of binoculars and was content with that. (I broke my big, deluxe old binoculars a while ago by dropping them on the kitchen floor that is most likely made of Kevlar and steel with a side of cement, so the big binoculars exploded in to many pieces. Sigh.)  I stole my friend Kathy's picture of the moon, though! She sent this out in an email this morning. I think her husband took the pictures. Thank you, Kevin!

The boys were over Saturday for homemade lasagna. The lasagna turned out very good, I thought. Yum. The kids left full and I was thankful for a dishwasher. My oldest son's vegetable of choice has always been spinach (fresh spinach that is steamed) and I am ALWAYS amazed at how you can put a garbage bag full of spinach into boiling water and it reduces to approximately three leaves..  Last night I made homemade chicken noodle soup. Really, one of the best batches I've ever made, if I may say so myself. It is times like that I wish I had written down exactly what when into the pot. Sigh. When I add spices to anything, it is more of a crap shoot, so there is no way I could reproduce the wonder that was my soup last night. Oh well, it was delicious while it lasted.

My daughter and soninlaw moved yesterday. Their friend, David, was going to help. I've not heard if they survived or not. NOT hearing is a good thing, I suppose. When you HEAR something in the middle of the night, you know there is no good to be had. I hope no one got a hernia during the move. Hernias are no fun, but I digress...

September 30, 2015 - Today is a wonderful day because I am alive. I almost died yesterday from a near choking on wad of Tootsie Roll whilst at work. One should know better than to shove that much goo into one's mouth and expect to live afterwards. It was the type of choking where you can't breath in and you make that weird 'attacking, pissed off male seal' sound (without the flippers flapping). It was the kind of choke where your airways shuts off to protect the innocent and you are planning on how to fall to the floor gracefully so the EMTs find you in a presentable display. When the killer choke began, I had the foresight to dig out the gooey contents of my mouth because I didn't want THAT getting partially sucked down my throat too. (I think to myself NOW that I should have spelled something out with the goop like "I REGRET NOTHING, EXCEPT THIS!" but I just left it on a pile in front of my keyboard for the forensic team follow up while I concentrated on staying alive.)

I managed to finally get a wee breath in and that helps your whole mindset on living and such and allows your brain to kick back in and slowly relax the airways so you can breathe normally again, eventually. (I imagine this type of choking is like losing power steering on a car - you can possible still steer a little, but it is nigh on impossible if you didn't have your Wheaties that morning...) I took the wad of killer candy and threw it away like I meant it then cleaned up my desk (and my face and dried my eyes and blew my nose and coughed for five minutes because when one chokes, the whole upper body gets involved. Everything above the belly button wants to help out in a near death experience. The sinus cavities feel they need to dump anything in their storage area down your throat... Tears are flowing at your impending demise which inspire MORE snot flowing... Let's not forget that whatever was sucked in to begin with desperately wants out or wants to go down as well...)

No one wants to shuffle off this mortal coil by choking to death on something as simple as Tootsie Rolls. (OK, like six Tootsie Rolls...) I had that one drop of water almost kill me a couple of years ago. ONE DROP OF WATER! What causes this to happen? Why does the airway shut down like that? (I mean,I can understand with the Tootsie Rolls - I had enough in my mouth to share with the whole class PLUS the bus drivers.) I just don't understand that type of choking reflex. There has to be one spot that sets off the alarm - the one tiny spot that if touched by food or water will attempt to put your lungs on permanent lock down. Sigh. On a positive note - I did not pee my pants. That thought was in the back of my mind the whole time, too - "Hey, Girl! You are not peeing your pants! You go, Girl!!  Keep up those Kegels!"

So besides almost being dead and stuff, all is OK. I am upset and moody lately about issues in life but I'm sure it is all hormonal and it is nothing I will complain about here today, plus I'm sure it is nothing that can't be cured by mass consumption of chocolate... Oh...wait....

October 8, 2015 - The leaves, they are a changing...colors. I believe it is officially fall. There are MANY times I see an explosion of color on a tree and would love to swerve out of traffic to get to take its picture. I do not do that however. (At least not yet. There are some trees that are worthy of stopping and getting that shot, though.) The kids will be over this weekend for the Big Birthday Extravaganza Bonfire. I look forward to it. I have some baking to do and finger foods to assemble. Viva herding.

My friend Kathy from New York sent me a Jim Shore birdhouse for my birthday tomorrow and a cool card. I put a blue bird I have in the front of the bird house and was going to take a picture to show her I received it. Rocko decided he would get in on the photo shoot. I didn't discourage him because he looked so damned adorable. That, of course, is an illusion. We all know Rocko is a jerk most of the time. I do believe, however, he is learning to love us. He has taken to sleeping with us at night and getting into our laps when he wants attention and needs to hump a blanket. He only pees on the front door after a "non-Jake" dog comes in to the house. (Since his original nemesis Zora will be here this weekend, I will have to bet money the peeing won't stop for a few days...) At least the hours of research trying to figure out why he's a urinating jerk is over - we KNOW why he's a urinating jerk now..

My cousin sent me the coolest polished rock. I can't find the slip of paper that explains what it is, though. I had it right here and now it is gone. Anyway, it looks very cool, like a septarian nodule concretion. (Concretion is a fun word to say. If you get bored, just repeat that  - CONCRETION....CONCRETION....)

I got to see my Aunt Joyce and cousin Alice (both of whom I've not seen in decades) last Friday. It was good to see them. Aunt Trudy came with them on the ORANGE BARRELS FROM HELL driving adventure. (Between Indiana and Michigan, there are many road projects going on. It is very confusing to navigate and I feel so bad for them having to do so!) I didn't get pictures, but hopefully my sister did and Alice will share the pictures she took.

I suppose, if I was a good girl, I would go to work. I do not want to go to work. I would like to stay home and sleep all day, hiding from my life and the world in general. A sign of depression? Perhaps. Indication of a lazy woman - yeah, that's it...

October 13, 2015 - Rocko the Great White Hunter!! Woot! I saw Rocko out in one of my flower beds tonight. He was in hot pursuit of something. I saw movement on the back wall of the shed where the flower bed is and Rocko pounced. He repeatedly pounced. He also repeatedly retreated, almost dry heaving each time. (He's a former city kitty. I'm sure the inner PANTHER is having an issue coming out. He was acting like "EWWWW, I TOUCHED IT!  GAG!") He sat outside the flower bed for a while, then sprung back in and batted at the ground behind some grass for a while, then shook something like a cat should to break a neck of his prey. Then he poked the thing some more. They he had a slight shiver from head to tail and walked off with a cocky attitude. I ran out to see, and sure enough, there was a small mole. "Oh, Rocko! You are such a good kitty!!" I gushed. I petted him. Jake sniffed the dead mole then kissed Rocko. (Most likely tasting Rocko, but you get the idea.) I was ever so proud. Rocko did a romp around the yard with all his praise and Jake and Rocko ran out back together while I picked up the dead body. Go, Rocko, Go!! 

We had another incident last week involving Rocko and Jake. Rocko had gone out very early in the morning after he had breakfast. Later, after Jake ate, he wanted out for his morning constitutional and once out the door the hair on Jake's back went up and he bolted out back, growling. I followed him out with the flashlight. He went frantically all over out back, following a scent that finally lead to a tree. He stared up in the tree and I beamed the flashlight up and there in a crook of a branch was the cutest racoon you ever saw. He/she sat there with his/her paws crossed and his/her head mounted on said cute paws looking ever so innocent and adorable. Jake barked. I told the critter, "If I had a gun, adorable or not, you'd be down here by now..." About then, Rocko came around the corner of the house and Jake ran with gusto to Rocko and forced him up to the front door. I ran up and let Rocko in. I praised Jake. "Jake, you saved Rocko from a raccoon!!" Good Jake!" Jake got a dog cookie.

OK, where was I?? Mole, check. Raccoon, check. Oh, yeah - Birthday Weekend!! I took last Friday off to bake. I baked and cleaned and did laundry to get ready for the bonfire. Saturday my daughter and soninlaw came in with Zora from Chicago. My daughter got me the most adorable Birthday present!! It is a hand blown ornament with a glass blown design inside. This picture doesn't do it justice, but it's the best I could get with my limited skills with a camera. It honestly looks like a ball full of a universe (although we both agreed later it was more of a solar system.) I seriously love this glass ball. I know it's just a bunch of sand with a few other things thrown in, but that is what makes me adore it more - since I adore sand and dirt and such, and rocks and .... Sigh.

My oldest son came over then my youngest with his girlfriend and the fun began. We let the dogs run outside and we set stuff up for the bon fire and I started drinking my beer. I drank a lot of my beer. Considering I'm now 55 years old, I drank a LOT of Miller Lite. I had a hoot, though. Honestly, I had intended to cut loose Saturday night and I was successful. I thank my neighbors who came over and my kids for putting up with me. I hope you all had a hoot as well. I had a huge hoot. I didn't do much on Sunday, but boy howdy, Saturday night was fun. I am very glad I also took Monday off to catch up from having so much fun. Going back to work today was not easy to do. Smile.

Before the bonfire, Watson and Zora tore up one of the monkey toys I bought them and the kids hung the head from the (soon to be on fire) bonfire pile and we all laughed. Morbid? Maybe a tad, but it was funny. A throw back to Lord of the Flies. (Sure, I know the name of the book NOW, but Saturday night do you think I could think of it?) I also came to the conclusion that I have to start getting stuffed animals from garage sales for the dogs to rip up or I'll never get to retire...

I am already a card carrying member of AARP so I don't have to hurry to get my card. I am sure if I research it there are plenty of places to get discounts now that I am 55. Heck, for all I know, maybe my next colonoscopy could be free!? (Hahaha, now I'm dreaming.) Turning 55 didn't ruffle my feathers at all. It's just a number. I am who I am and always will be, even when I'm end up six inches shorter from the gravitational pull of the Earth and lack of bone density. WYSIWYG, that's me.
 
When I started my fairy gardens with Gollum and the other one with Minions, I had tiny little "Mini Mums" that I had planted in the gardens. The "mini mums" continued to grow and they started looking more like trees, so I moved two of them from the minions garden to the front garden, and left the one in Gollum's garden to grow and be a 'tree' and be, well - decorative. All the "mini mums" that are no longer mini were trying to bloom for a while now. I came home to this tonight and was quite pleased! Gollum's "tree" had bloomed.

OK, as always, I just got done extolling the virtues of Rocko when the rat bastard just walked past me and pissed on the front door. I caught him by the scruff of his neck and said motherly things like, "NO NO, YOU IDIOT" and "BAD BAD KITTY! BAD KITTY!" and possibly threw in a "DOES ROCKO WANT TO GO SLEEP WITH THE RACOONS?" I'm not sure, I was angry. At least this time I caught him and let him know I was not pleased. When he comes out from hiding from me, I will throw him outside. Sigh.

Raising a mentally challenged grandcat is hard...

October 15, 2015 - Rocko peed on the front door again this morning but this time my husband saw him do it and he grabbed the scuff of Rocko's neck and lobbed Rocko outside. I heard several rounds of "BAD KITTY" from the bedroom where I had been sleeping. (Actually it was more like "..STUPID #$@$# $%%^ %$# (*&^$ $^&*((&&  BAD %^%$ #$%$#@!!!! KITTY" and I'm sure Rocko flew quite a ways when launched out the front door. I think back on how the vet said that was the main reason for early euthanasia for male cats was their issue with marking their territory. I've never had a male cat that did this, though. Sigh. We knew Rocko would act out after Zora the Dog had been here, but this is getting quite old.

I have been having bouts of anger and moods swings that are so large you've probably felt the breeze caused by all the swinging. Yesterday I was upset early in the morning by an end user at work who was being, well - what are the words I want... Oh Yeah - he was being blatantly stupid. After I came in to work, I was also bombarded by "duh" and was not taking it well. However, at one point I got an email from Jim who was having trouble with a printer. He said, "Sandy, it says it is off line so I put it on line..." and he sent me this picture:

As crappy as I was feeling... as much anger as I had ready to blow at any give moment -  I started laughing when I saw this. I laughed and laughed. I needed a good guffaw to shake me out of my mood. Indeed, Jim did put his printer "on line" or a line before calling the help desk. Jim won BEST HELP CALL OF THE MONTH as far as I'm concerned. I fixed his printer. After that I smiled a lot. Thank you, Jim.

I made a big pot of chili last night because today is my Aunt's 88th Birthday. She likes chili. She can eat it without choking most of the time, especially if it is made with turkey and not hamburger. (She has been having issues getting food down without it choking her.) I also got her a carrot cake. My Aunt and Uncle sure need help getting meals but my Uncle refuses to accept Meals on Wheels "because their food is terrible and I wouldn't eat that crap..." so my sister and I each take them a meal a week so that two days we know they are eating something good for them. We also get them Ensure to have on hand and we both pick up things they need when we see they need it. My Aunt and Uncle can barley get out of their chairs and move around now so making a supper usually consists of boiling an egg or boiling a potato. Sigh. I get kind of angry over this situation. Actually, I get very angry over this situation, but it's not my "circus" if you will. I have to learn to let it go and not stay up all night worrying like I have been. I have to just do what I can, when I can, and keep moving on. I do well until I go over there, then I get angry all over again. Sigh. Deep Breath....

They harvested the corn across the road last night. They were still doing it when I went to bed, and I drifted off to sleep seeing the headlights from the tractors, trailers, and combines shine through the house. It was a good afternoon and evening for the harvest part of things and they took advantage of it. The fact they can keep on going way past dark is amazing.

October 19, 2015 - Burrrrrrrr! Literally frost on the pumpkins this morning. The grass just glittered like diamonds in the glare of the flashlight when I took Jake outside this morning. Jake was not happy that the grass was so cold, so he walked like a prancing ballerina to avoid as much contact with the cold as he could. He still has not had a movement de bowel. Sigh. Too Cold To Poop! Film @ 11!!

The weekend was uneventful in some ways and very eventful in others. Yesterday was just lovely and the sun brought out the stunning colors in the trees. Fall is such a pretty time. Amazing since it means stuff is dying. Catch 22 of sorts. It dawns on me that October is over half over - and that makes my stomach hurt a bit. Sigh.

I supposed I'll get ready for work. You all - go off and do good things, as shall I. Geronimo!! 

October 21, 2015 - It has been a long week, and it is only half over with...

First of all, Happy Birthday Dear Ron. (His Birthday was yesterday and I so missed it with this crazy week. I owe Ron a tasty treat. If Ron has a preference, Ron had better put his request in so said tasty treat can be produced in the kitchen this weekend!)

Second of all, I am convinced all my years of whining about 'menopause' were just that - PRACTICE WHINING - and not true menopause because whatever I have going on NOW is either the Real Change Of Life (said with a booming echo) or I am truly going insane. Half a dozen of one...

My anger levels have been through the roof over little things lately.

A Good Example:  Tonight on the way up to the Big City with my husband who offered to buy me dinner but I ended up paying but that is another story, I was driving the speed limit and minding the rules of the road. I am NOT an old woman going -.26 to the second power miles an hour with the blinker on. When the time comes I can drive like I'm in downtown Chicago and taking speed if that is what it takes to survive, BUT on an evening such as tonight, I was very happy going the speed limit while minding the rules of the road and letting the warm breeze in through the open windows. I happened to get in a left turn lane that was backed up for a long long long way. Didn't matter, since the evening was so lovely and we all know eventually the light will be in our favor, yes?

Apparently this fact eluded one young male with a huge Dodge Ram truck with gigantic tires that was about 10 cars back. (When a man lacks in some areas he makes up for it by buying HUGE vehicles, right?) All of us in our waiting left turn lane had our windows open (once again due to the lovely evening) and when the light turned green and people started to go, I hear from behind, "WHY DON'T YOU F$^*ING LEARN TO DRIVE YOU F@^K HEADS - F@($KING' GO ALREADY!!" The man in the Dodge Ram was hanging out the window screaming at the line of cars in front of him. Only about 4 cars can turn right on the green arrow at that particular intersection so of course we had to sit through two more light cycles before I got up there. When I got up to the light it had been yellow for a while, so I just stopped because I could and because he pissed me off. The light was red when I came to a full stop, though, and I didn't hear any screaming but you know for a fact he was NOT happy about my decision to stop on red like any law abiding citizen who had more than a second grade education would probably do in that situation.

As soon as the left arrow came back green, I sped up and scooted around the turn. He was close behind us in the other lane. We came up to another stop light. There were two lanes. The right lane I was in is NOT a "right turn only" lane. It is a regular LANE. So I stopped at the light. He pulled up and and yelled out the window, "IF YOU CAN'T F$^*ING >DRIVE, GET OF THE >ROAD...SO YOU ARE NOT GOING TO F$^*ING TURN RIGHT?" He didn't lean over to shout all of this but he was using arms and hands to help emphasize his angst with my driving.

Let me remind the reading public that he is directing his brain dead stupid rant in the direction of a 55 year old woman who is not of sound mind at this moment in her life. When the light turned green, I squealed my tires and sped up and drifted towards him. "What are you doing?" my husband said. Loudly. "Didn't you hear the douche bag? I want to show him I really DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!!" I growled. My husband had not heard what the young lad had said. When I told him HE got a bit upset, too, but he was quite insistent that I get back in my own lane and calm down.

I was so angry. Anger brings out anger in me. If you are going to be a stupid idiot in my direction, I have a tendency to well with anger inside. I will walk away, but I walk away very angrily. I was also full of sadness. He is going to go home and treat his family just like this. If he managed to get close enough to a female to reproduce, then that child will learn this and the cycle will keep going. I see this type more than not - the ones who blame the world for all their problems. The ones who will go through six jobs in as many months and blame the people they work with and the 'stupid' bosses and blame everyone but themselves. He will lose his wife and it will be her fault or her parents fault or her friends fault. He will ALWAYS BLAME EVERYONE WHO IS NOT TO BLAME because of his obvious RETARDATION. (Yes, I said the 'R' word.) Humans with that mentality are suffering some form of brain damage. Usually it is brain damage inflicted by their parents mistakes or just inbreeding or excessive drug use. Something goes terribly wrong in these people's brains. Sigh. So sad yet it makes ME ANGRY. SANDY MAD!!

I sat there stewing to myself, wishing I could burst out in the form of the Hulk and rip his truck up and throw him over to the next county. (I don't care if I turn green or not.) I also was praying that a police officer would be right there as well. Sigh. I was angry at him and life and at my uterus and all idiots and that bug on the windshield and those geese over there and...

It took me a while to calm down, but I did. Finally. Sigh.

I have my yearly check up coming up. If I remember correctly, last year I told the doctor I was feeling angry too. And excessively horny. And menopausal. He is going to get sick of hearing this every year, isn't he? Poor guy. I went in this a.m. to get my blood work done in anticipation of the yearly visit so he can tell me that my sugar levels are through the roof and I might as well just walk around with a syringe of insulin sticking out of a major vein if I expect to live. (Since I can't have saturated fats per say anymore or my liver explodes, I've taken comfort in massive amounts of sugar products. Sigh.) Maybe it won't be that bad, but we'll see come check up time.

I am sure I will whine to you all about it here...stay tuned. 

Don't drive angry.

October 28, 2015 - I told a friend the other day that I am pretty sure the next world wide pandemic will come from people sniffing those wax tart melts in the grocery store. I always have to sniff all the new scents every time I go shopping, so if I do it we know other people do it, and germs are all over those things when you think about it. (I buy them and I melt 'em to stink up my house so if there IS a pandemic I am most likely ground zero...)

There is the peaceful sound of rain on the roof. When I hear that pitter-pat sound I just want to curl up and sleep. I wonder why rain is a 'calming' sound to humans? (Except, of course, for hurricane sounds and tornado sounds - not so calming, but you know what I mean.) I could seriously fall asleep right here and now and be perfectly happy.

I had my yearly blood work done and I don't see sugar listed on the posted results. This means that the lab test did not include a sugar test which I highly doubt, or my sugar levels are too high and the doctor has to talk to me about this issue prior to posting the info on line. All my other blood levels were straight down the line 'normal' - even my kidney enzymes. I did good EXCEPT for the sugar. I knew this was going to be a problem since I took to eating more sugar as a comfort food when the whole "can't eat saturated fat because my liver is a poor sport and attempts to kill me every time I do try to consume it" issue kicked in. Sigh. So if the doctor tells me, "OK, you are one step away from a sugar seizure and we recommend you stop all things sugar" or "your blood is 100% sucrose - we've NEVER seen anything like it, I am quite sure" or "how in the world are you living and breathing RIGHT NOW and you still have all your limbs??" then I'm going have to start eating wood chips or lead paint chips or something. Sigh. Now I know why people run - not just for the high they get from happy hormones blowing out of their cells, but because they are running from issues (like diabetes) or running towards the smell of bacon...speaking of which...

Did you read the W.H.O. information printed about processed meat giving you cancer? (First of all, processed foods WILL give you cancer - I'm pretty sure our own genetic material subliminally KNOWS this fact and each human on Earth inherently knows that bacon is the work of the devil and bacon would just as soon kill you than look at you...) The day after the W.H.O. posting its article about processed meats, the comments started flying around from humans all over the place on the internet. My favorite one so far has been (and I quote whoever wrote it but I have no clue who did) "Bacon could rise up as a sentient being, murder my family and insult my football team and I would still say that I loved it.”

November 2, 2015  - I vowed I would not update this page until I had changed the batteries in the smoke alarms. I have finally done it! Ta-Dah. You should do that when you fall back or spring forward, as I'm sure you all know. (If you have battery powered alarms, that is.) I feel much better now. I may still burn up in the house during a fire but now I have more of a chance to smell less like bacon and make it out sooner. I decided since I was blowing out the alarms and cleaning them up when I changed the batteries that I would blow out the home PC, too. This is the dustiest house I know of next to ones that uses wood heat, so the case for the computer gets very dusty. She is now purring like a kitten. (Hopefully that is because she's clean and not because I left a cleaning tool in there...) The dishes are done and the laundry is caught up. Tonight has been productive. My husband is snoring in the lazy boy... I made sure I tested each smoke alarm directly near his head. Smile.

I had "dressed up" for work on Friday. I wore a pumpkin face T-Shirt, and did up my eyes with tons of mascara and tons of dark blue eye shadow that made my eyes look like someone had given me two black eyes (or so I thought).  All I heard all day was, "I thought you were going to dress up?" Sigh. I had stopped to get a pizza on the way home Friday night and when I walked in the door, my husband said, "Ooo, pizzaI" and then "I thought you were going to dress up?" Sigh Again. I put the pizza down and walked to the bathroom and spent 20 minutes removing the eye makeup. You know what sad part is? I spent ONE HALF HOUR with my head upside down and hair flipped over, drying it as I sprayed hair spray on it so it would be spread out and POOF out all spooky like, and what happens? IT TURNED OUT LOOKING JUST THE SAME AS IT LOOKS EVERY DAY!! More sighs...

The weekend was just a fun, fun weekend. My daughter and soninlaw came over from Chicago to see a concert with my oldest son on Friday night. I did not see them of Friday but I know they did come home after the concert...but I digress. There is a 'game' my daughter and I play with a ceramic vase she made years ago with one of her babysitters. On two sides of the vase my daughter painted a crescent moon and stars. (See picture to the right) On the other two sides she painted a sun. I like the night view so I always have that facing forward. She ALWAYS moves it to show the sun side when she comes home. Now it is just expected and I have enjoyed this play for years. I have been thinking for a long, long time that I wanted to make a copy of the night sides and tape it on the sun sides so when she turned it it would still be MY side. Friday night before I went to bed I did the deed. I used my printer to copy the two sides and taped them to the sun side. I was giddy with giggles while doing it and it copied perfectly and I did an good job taping it. I put it back on the shelf and went to bed happy as a kid on Christmas Eve. The vase is housed on a shelf in my bathroom.

My daughter and her brother got up early on Saturday to go off on an adventure but she had turned the vase at 6:30 a.m. before she left. When she saw the vase again when she got home, she thought she may have been dreaming that she had turned the vase since it was the still star side. She finally figured out that I had done  and the little joke and laughter was had by all. (I know you might think this is dorky but to me it was just a hoot. It is the little things in life.) 

Saturday we went to the wedding of my husband's oldest sister's oldest son. My daughter came with us. It was good to see all the family on my husband side and see people I can't remember ever seeing. If I was my husband's Mom, I would have been strutting around all cocky-like telling everyone that "Snap! I am the matriarch of all of this!"

After that family herding, we came home for a wee nap. I woke up and set all the clocks back an hour. I made cheese dip and we headed over to a neighbor's for a Halloween party. It was fun. Ron and Sue were there and that is always a hoot to hang out with them. The "kids" that had the party were a hoot as well. I met a lot of people who's name I will never remember but hanging out with them was a riot. One of them was the son of one of my high school friends! Small World!

Sunday we took my soninlaw and daughter out for breakfast for my soninlaw's Birthday. After we got home, the kids packed up and headed back to Chi town. My husband and I ran to the store for our weekly grocery shopping. We came home and my husband sucked up leaves in the yard (round two) and I blew the leaves out of the rocks around the house.

I dis-assembled the fairy gardens as well, and to my surprise, there were many new little Minion's in my Minion Fairy Garden and in Gollum's Fairy Garden! I laughed and laughed. I texted my daughter and said, "My Minions had Babies!" She said she had been waiting to do that for a long, long time, but had always forgotten to bring them with her from Chicago. I got quite a good laugh. Later that day, my husband asked "Did you see your Daughter messed with your Mimes?" I looked at him and said, "What the hell are you talking about? You mean MINIONS?" I had not thought of doing a Mime Fairy Garden, but I might next year just to see if he notices... I still laugh about that one... I put away my Halloween stuff from outside as well and then I came in the house and started chicken noodle soup and as that simmered I did laundry and took down the Halloween decorations inside.  I put up the Thanksgiving decorations. I set my Turkeys Free! By Sunday night I was pooped so I soaked in a hot tub and went to bed.

When I woke up this morning, I was so disorientated. What day was it? (It felt like it was in the middle of a work week!) What time is it? Is today a work day? Who am I? Where am I? Took me a good five minutes to get my head around to know who, what, where and when. I was not pleased when I DID realize. It sure felt like I had half a work week under my belt at 5:30 a.m. Sigh. I also woke up sporting several huge zits on my face. "Hi, My name is Sandy. I'm 55, and I have worse zits now than when I was 18..." Ugh.

At work HR sent out a notice that there will be a beard contest for 'No Shave November' and on the 30th of this month, our CEO of Michigan will judge the beards and award prizes. My friend Leslie suggested we all get beards to wear in, so I emailed the office girls at where I work and asked if we should all wear a beard on November 30th, just for a joke. I think it would be so funny! (I also know I could probably grow a beard that would shame most of the men all on my own...)

November 11, 2015 - Wow, nine days since my last post. Why is that you may ask? Well, because Sandy's life is so damned boring even SHE doesn't want to fall asleep by the retelling about it.

We are supposed to get winds and rains tonight and tomorrow. This is normal for Michigan to have the 'November Winds' - just asked the decedents of the crew from the Edmund Fitzgerald. I dragged my husband out to go grocery shopping tonight because 1.) I wanted to and 2.) we were out of fruit and you know one can't survive the rest of a work week without bananas. (Did you read the news that told about the banana virus killing off all bananas? Eat 'em while you have 'em, folks.) After putting away the groceries, I started a load of wash and did the dishes.

I have been so angry at everything (due to menopause or life in general) but especially I am mad at humans in the United States. We are all idiots. We suck up the bowel droppings of the press and media and make things worse by spreading the dung all over. People make things out worse than they are. We can't speak our mind without offending everyone. We have gotten out of control. Everyone thinks everyone else is racist and people are being cruel in the name of religion and EVERYONE HAS LOST THEIR MINDS. Sigh. If I were in charge of things, I'd set this planet on a collision course with the sun earlier than previously scheduled.

If you don't like the cafe owners, don't buy the coffee...
If that kid's book bothers you with its fictional characters, don't let your kids read it...
If a school seems like it is not a good fit for you and people there are idiots, go to another University...
If you don't like a T.V. show or what it has to say, turn it off...
If someone cuts you off on the highway, don't shoot them...
If you can't follow the rules at where you work, find a new job...
Sigh.

Life is confusing me right now and I get flustered at the world when I hear how stupid it is. People long for the old days, but I can guarantee that if there was human beings in the 'old' days there was stupid back then, too, it just wasn't posted on the internet and shoved down our throats on the nightly news. Humans bugger things up and cause chaos. Humans are often mentally lower on the totem pole of life than a rabid dog. Why do humans get like that? Why do humans get so confused? Why can't humans stop being so stupid? Very, Very confusing to me...

Other than that, all is well here in Sandy land. I need to get over to see my Aunt. My sister will be out of town for several weeks so I need to get them some meals. I dropped a handful of raisins this morning on the floor and in an effort to find them all before Jake the Great Consumer found them, I got a flashlight and crawled all over the floor gathering up the debris. OH MY GOSH - HOW DIRTY IS MY KITCHEN? SO SO SO DIRTY! Sigh. How does dirt get in those corners like that? I suppose if I can't stand the truth I shouldn't crawl around with a high powered flash light, should I? I have some cleaning to do...you might not be able to see it, but I know it is there now...it will haunt me until I clean it. Let's see, what else is there? Oh, yes - I started the annual food drive at work. So far, so good. It goes until November 30th. I thought I had a little helper this year but they took her for the purchasing department. Oh well. I had the hardest time coming up with an 'theme' for the food drive and finally I did a theme with the Hamburger Helper Glove guy. The poster and stuff came out kind of cute. People have been kind in their comments for the most part, that is once they know it was ME who did the posters and such, THEN they watch what they say. Smile. The first person to make fun of my idea is going to get a lecture about running the food drive themselves next year...

See, told you my life is utterly boring. Sigh. I go for my yearly physical next week, so at least I have something to talk about then. I am due for my second colonoscopy this year, so I have that going for me too...maybe I'll schedule that and take in a live crew to film it for y'all. Last time I had one, I cleaned up pretty good from what I saw.

Oh Life, there must be more... (if I may quote the Alan Parson's Project song...)

November 19, 2015 - I would first like to state that my saran wrap, wax paper, foil, parchment paper, baggies (large and small) form a type of Jenga tower on a shelf in my kitchen. It is always a challenge to grab what you want without toppling the tower over. Do I fix this situation? No. I let the stuff fall where it may and start the game again. This has been going on for years. I thought this was a fact you should know about me. (Kids, look up the meaning for the work 'complacent' ...)

I have been depressed about the state of affairs concerning ISIS and terrorism and such. I am not sure what to do about it. My Friends on Facebook is split right down the middle. "Give peace a chance" or "Rip their bloody savage lips off!" Sigh. "We are all immigrants!" to "Shut our borders!!" Humans are a large virus on this poor old Earth. Humans who oddly think of themselves as superior are by far the most destructive critters I know. It baffles me to no end. I've lost sleep over it.. What is wrong with you people?! Stop the world, I would like to exit this ride now...

On the bright side, we had a rainy day yesterday but when I left work, there was a rainbow in the East sky. THE BEST RAINBOW I'VE EVER SEEN IN 55 YEARS! The colors were fantastic - almost florescent! (I tried to get pictures on my cell phone, but I did a piss poor job.) EVERY color was there and brightly, at that. I was just amazed. Not lying, folks. Damned best rainbow EVER. Lower Michigan was in the right spot to see it as ONE whole rainbow, then it added a second one to the mix. (The pictures posted here of said rainbows are from Katie Weirick and Adriana Clark. I don't know these people. I stole their photos from the newspaper site. Their photos captures the coolness better than my cell phone, but you still cannot fathom from the pictures how grand that rainbow was...) The road home was lined with people that had pulled over in awe. I don't blame them. I sat at the corner gas station watching it for ten minutes, it was so amazing. Contented sigh. I wish I had a cardboard sign I could have held up with a huge 10 on it.

I had my yearly physical. We reviewed my blood work. I know he was gonna beat me about the head over my sugar levels but he was impressed with the rest. He also has NO CLUE where I am in the whole "change of life" process. Those number are confusing him. I don't blame him - the way I feel, I'm confused as well. I am still forever grateful that whatever is happening to me is NOT like what like my Mom went through. She had the worst change of life I've ever witnessed. I am glad I am not like that (yet?) and I hope I have enough knowledge in my head to NOT get that bad. The medical world has come a long way since those days. Poor Mom. The doctor did up my thyroid medicine and he also set me up to get my actinic keratosis spots blown off my hands and arms. They are morphing from last year to this year and he doesn't want to have to deal with no skin cancer on me. I go for the blue light special next month. (It is actually called Photodynamic Therapy in case you were wondering. We all know how I like to 'story' enhance...)

The food drive at work is picking up a little steam, although I feel like it is off to a slow start this year. (But as I type this, maybe it is ME that is losing steam!! Wow. That was a self revelation. Maybe I need to work harder at it and get my buttocks out there and drum up donations, aye? I think so! Nothing is going to fall into my lap without working for it. I thank you all for letting me work that out here and forcing you to skim over it...)

On that self revelation note, I am off to conquer...

November 30, 2015 - Happy End of November. Already. How did it go by so fast? (I have a theory about that but it would rely on the fact that YOU knew NOTHING at all about science and I knew even less...)

Thanksgiving was fun. The usual fair was had, but I toned it down a lot this year. I think the turkey came out spectacular and I had the leftover meat all gone by Saturday morning. (I adore leftover turkey sandwiches.) I even ate mashed potatoes (and I've not eaten those since the whole 'My Liver Is a Piece of Vengeful Crap' started after 2013 Thanksgiving)! The kids were all here and my Mother in Law. We sent leftovers home with the boys (and that meant we sent home the pies, too, which  my poor daughter had cut herself a piece of for later, and that piece when home with her brothers and she was so upset about that) and then after the kids went off to do their thing, my husband and I put up the Christmas lights.

My husband had gotten me an Olaf to put in the yard this year. I was not too sure about that Olaf. I like Olaf from the movie 'Frozen' and all, but did I want an eight food Olaf in my front yard? Well, after he was inflated, I decided I do like that Olaf. He is appropriately goofy for my tastes. We went and got reflective markers for his stakes so kids and dogs would know the ropes were there to stake the guy down. We'll see how that goes. Jake the Dog has already gotten tangled up once.

I took down my inside Thanksgiving decorations and put up my Christmas decorations as well this weekend. I love putting up Christmas decorations because you always kind of forget what you have until you undo it, then you get excited and "ooooooooooo" and "awwwwwwwwwwww" over stuff. (Or at least I do.) My snowman collection is getting out of control. I can't get anymore until I get a bigger house to put them in, and at my age, that is NOT what one should be doing. I also have my Bumble that was a gift from last year. He is HUGE and it worked out so perfect when I was decorating...I have a Christmas tree area, I have a Santa area, and I have a snowman area, which left one shelf bare. TA-DAH! BUMBLE TO THE RESCUE!! Rocko the cat was surveying all this Christmas joy and seemed perplexed at all the items hanging and dangling. We'll see how things go ... I can see things being knocked over and re-arranged via Rocko once no one is home today. He has much frustration to take out from the weekend and seeing Zora the Explorer granddog. Zora was in a constant "search for Rocko and destroy" mode this weekend. Rocko is currently in the chair next to me, snoring like a cat snores, and happy there is no longer a threat amongst us. Smile. 

This will be a horrid busy week at work, so I tell you all, HAPPY DECEMBER in case I don't see you for a week or so!  Go forth - do good things.

December 7, 2015 - Since I'm too lazy to move November to the archives, I will just keep on with December's ramblings here. Happy December.

The food drive I wrangle at work with all my Food Drive Helpers is over and as a company we did very well. A total of $919 dollars collected and LOTS and LOTS of food and personal items that we took over the the Community Center last Thursday. I was worried it was going to be a 'bad' year, but in the end the people at work really came through. I am always amazed at those people. Always. I had three guys help move the boxes and it sure helps when there are three strapping young men doing the hard stuff. Smile. I could get used to that... "Yes, you - Raul - be a doll and move that box from here to there, would you please?"

I wrapped a few presents tonight and Rocko the Cat apparently LOVES to wrap presents. He was in the open end of each one I did. (Cat hair? WHAT cat hair? You don't see any cat hair in that box!!) It was quite comical, mind you, but after a while I got a bit fed up with Rocko's zest for all things paper and just gave him and empty box to play in with a wad of wrapping paper to bat around in it. He had a hoot and left me alone. Sigh. Kids. I mean - CATS.

I purchased a huge rawhide bone shaped like a candy cane for Watson the Grand dog, and poor Jake could smell that thing when we brought in bags from the trunk tonight. I left Watson's Christmas bone in the trunk so Jale wouldn't get upset by smelling it in the house but Jake COULD smell on us and the bags. Jake isn't allowed to have rawhide bones due to his delicate old aged tummy and kidneys, but he adores rawhide bones WITH ALL HIS DOGGY HEART. He sniffed everything we brought in several times and followed me around just waiting for me to give him a bone. Sigh. I told my husband we ARE getting Jake a little tiny one for Christmas, darn it. Poor old dude.

I went to my Aunt's house for lunch today. Stopped and got them a pizza from Pizza Hut as a treat and a bouquet of Christmas flowers to brighten their apartment up a bit. I had leftovers to take them from home but I forgot them when I went in to work this a.m. Duh. I didn't want to run home and get them hence the pizza instead. They seemed to be happy with the pizza as they both had a piece right off the bat. I also got them the apple pie bites and they each had one of those. They seemed very happy to have food brought to them. I also brought salad for them tonight. They are having such issues getting up and about.

After we had eaten pizza my Uncle told me "they were coming to fix the fridge and put a new seal on the door." I thought it odd that they would attempt to put a new seal on that old fridge...it is old, gross and icky and needed to be replaced. There was a knock on the door and when I answered it, sure enough there was the maintenance man there to replace the fridge with a new one. LUCKY FOR ME he had the handles on the wrong side of the new fridge and had to take the new one back and fix that which gave me time to do a rush job unloading their old fridge. I got to pitch the green cheeses that were molded and the and moldy meats and the other foods that had turned into something other than food. (The offspring that does their shopping is still buying food in huge sizes and not breaking it down in to meal sized portions before freezing it. Ugh. It wouldn't take more that a few minutes to make that five pound block of burger into five one pound packages or that 12 pork chop package split into six portions, but I digress...)

Once the maintenance guy came and pulled out the old fridge, he said he was taking it back to the maintenance area before putting in the new fridge and he did that on purpose so I could clean up the space there, bless his heart. I did the best I could. It was pretty gross under there. After the new fridge was in and on, I loaded up the items that were still good. I tried to put them back on the same shelves that they were on since my Uncle is blind and can't see the labels. Sigh.I was late back from lunch, to be sure, but at least I was there. Can you imagine them attempting to do that themselves? Yikes. I was drawn to go there today for a reason, by golly.

I suppose this old woman will sign off and get to bed. It is a busy week at work plus I took Wednesday off as a vacation day to get my Photodynamic Therapy on my pre-cancerous mass of freckles on my hands and arms, so I will be even MORE behind. I will need my beauty sleep. Have a goodly day!

December 22, 2015 – My BFF mentioned that I have not updated the blog for a long, long time. I will do that now (I have been so busy I totally forget to update the blog to be honest. Or, in reality – I have nothing exciting to say so why bore you???)

Let’s see – what can I bore you with? Oh, yeah – Yesterday I went and got the last of my huge cysts off on my head. Finally, I am relatively lump free. They will come back, I know, but for now… The doctor gave me several pieces of gauze to compress on the top of my head to check on the status of the cut/stitches (because this one was right on top and it was two cysts in one.) I kept pushing down on the area with the gauze he gave me and then Kleenexes and finally called the doctor’s office back. “Can you ask the Doctor if I should be bleeding like this…still?” and the nurse called back and said “The doctor said to QUIT PUSHING ON IT SO HARD!” hahahaha. Apparently the original instruction to “apply pressure” was just for the several times I had gauze enough for! I crack myself up.

Saturday was my husband’s side of the family Christmas Extravaganza. We had a hoot. My nephew and his wife brought their “baby” and she was a sheer joy. What a smart kid AND so adorable. I got her some toys and she played and played and played. She is actually almost three years old, so not really a baby. She knew how to play the crowd, boy howdy.

One of the toys I got her was various plastic animals. She put those in the shopping cart and went around the room handing them out to everyone. My sister in law, Sue, tossed them back to the little girl and hit her smack dab in the back of the head with a panda. (Of course when one is attacked by a plastic panda hitting you in the back of the head at high speeds, one will cry. Loudly.) We razzed poor Sue for the remainder of the get together. Many laughs were had by all. (Except for great niece and my Sister in Law.) I can’t help but laugh about it now, thinking of it again… INCOMING PANDA!!  The little girl will suffer from PTSs -Panda Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
All my kids showed up for the family gathering on Saturday. Then my daughter and soninlaw went back to Chicago on Sunday to “give us a break before Wednesday” as they said. They will return with Granddog-ter Zora and the boys will be over with Grandson Watson the Dog and it will be a festive Christmas in our tiny wee house- many doggies and large humans. I have purchased rawhide bones for the dogs, and they are in my trunk. Jake can only have a small one, and if I bring them in the house, he will go nuts begging for them. So the huge rawhide for Watson and the smaller ones for Zora and Jake have been riding in my trunk for some time. Jake the Dog can ALWAYS smell a rawhide – and will get all excited when we bring in groceries because he smells them, and when he gets nothing he pouts on the couch. He will have to wait for Santa. I also have a lot of stuffed toys in the back for grandcritters, so it looks like I robbed a Petco store. My sister and several of her daughters come over for Christmas Eve, too. It is always a hoot. I cannot wait to turn on all my special snowmen lights in the house. I save them for Christmas Eve and let them glow until the batteries wear out. I CAN’T WAIT. We won’t have snow, but we did have it over the weekend, so I will have to happy with the green Christmas. My wee one got me a picture of my Olaf in the snow so at least I can have a memory later in life that it DID snow this year. Smile.

Last night I dipped pretzels and made more Hershey Kisses Peanut butter cookies. I am going easy on the sugar aspect this year. If I make too much, I will eat it, so if I do not make it - I won't! Look, I did a form of math there!

Tonight I have dinner with my high school girlfriends. I think it is “bring your family” night, so I will be hauling my husband along. He is not going to turn down a free supper. It will be good to see the herd. I wish Vickie was up here, too. That would be a complete herd.

Next week we will be busy moving computer stuff from the old East building to the new East building just West of the old one. So I guess that makes the new building more of a West East building...but I digress... I will enjoy the clean factory and office settings while they exist in the new plant. It is not often you get to work in such pristine conditions. Ever. Hopefully by next week everything works and communicates with the mother ship. So far we've had piss poor luck with that.

Let's see - what else has happened that was all exciting? Hmmmmm...OH! My oldest son is now a trucker man! He worked nights and took CDL class during the day and now he is working for a company in training mode and he's been down South and I'm not sure where he is now. I now have something new to worry about! Icy Roads and jack-knifed semis and all that stuff! I am happy he is finally doing something he likes to do - which is DRIVE. The boy loves to drive. I just worry - that is a lot of weight behind you and humans drive like idiots and forget to defer to the semis. After working in shipping and receiving for yeas - I have oodles of respect for the semi drivers out there!!

Then there is the Gift of the Magi type story concerning chairs. My husband's lazy boy was in piss poor shape. I wanted to get him a new chair (because his chair was squeaky and noisy and it constantly woke me up way too early in the morning because. We are big people and his large buttocks took its toll on that poor chair over the years. When I announced to him that I was taking him to get a new chair, he refused, stating his chair was JUST FINE. (That was two Fridays ago...) The next day the boy came in from outside and sat down in his chair...actually, he kicked out his legs and fell into that poor chair at a high rate of speed, picking up momentum as he fell through the air. (He is 300 lbs. He hits with a force similar to the meteor that took out the dinosaurs.) His former Lazy Boy did not survive. (May it rest in ashes in the burn pile.) The boy now has a brand new Lazy Boy for Christmas. Since large rears had also damaged my computer chair and it would not stay 'up' for my short self, he got ME a new desk chair. So that is our presents to each other - Chairs. (Note to kids, DON'T LEAN BACK IN MY NEW CHAIR!!)

So, that is pretty much it. If I do not post before Christmas, may you all have a glorious Christmas. OH! I forgot to mention that the other day on Facebook there were the ads that appear on the side of your feed and this little guy was there... Underpants Squirrel! Right under that ad was an add for POP UP EMERGENCY UNDERWEAR. Sigh. I know that Facebook scours your wall and tries to target you with proper advertising, but COME ON. FACEBOOK!  (However, I now kind of really,really want that Underpants Squirrel ornament...)

December 29, 2015 -  The wind was actually howling last night. You could see the bird feeders getting blown around and I bet they are on the ground this morning. There was the pitter-pat of ice on on the east windows for the longest time. The east side was coated on all the windows I saw on the way home last night.This morning, though, it seems to be warming up a bit and I heard the trees creaking and tinkling in the breeze when I let Jake out to potty. Jake stepped out on to the ice layer and looked up at me with an Elvis snarl and if he had a middle finger on his paw, I would have been getting it. It feels so much warmer than yesterday. Jake's a lover, not a Husky. We took down Olaf before the ice and wind hit. He is up in a box waiting for Christmas next year.

My oldest went out on his second solo semi run last night. Fortunately for a worried Mom, he decided to pull of and wait out the night at a truck stop. He said the roads were bad and he couldn't go over 45 miles per hour. What a time to start driving a semi! Oy vey! He didn't make it home for the Christmas Eve herding, either. He was down in Ohio sleeping in a truck cab.

Christmas was wonderful. My daughter and soninlaw came in last Wednesday and left on Sunday. My sister and two of her daughters came for Christmas Eve and fun was had by all. My youngest and his girlfriend were both here for Christmas Eve night and morning. Jake got a little rawhide, and was thrilled. (And grumpy, because he kept stealing Zora's and Watson's bones and we would take them away and Jake was being an old curmudgeon.) On Christmas day we went and had Chinese with everyone since my Trucker Son was back in town. We herded again on Sunday for our last get together at Old Country Buffet. (I believe Old Country Buffet has been with me ever since...the gas! Yikes! It isn't pretty...)

I was horrid at getting out Christmas cards this year. I think the fault was the lack of snow. If it is snowing and winter like, I go nuts on sending out cards. This year - no snow. I do have several books of Charlie Brown Christmas stamps all ready for next year, though. (Gotta love forever stamps.) I also bought lots of cool Christmas cards this last weekend for next year, too. Next year, there will be snow. Next year...

December 30, 2015 - My husband is off this week from work. When my husband is off of work, the T.V. is on... constantly. I like the T.V. on for 'white noise' myself at times, but I miss the quiet mornings. Some things never change. I've not had the "house wife" treatment this week as I had hoped because I think he thinks he's really on 'vacation' in his mind. I was hoping to have a "wife" for a week... I've also not been over to see my Aunt and Uncle to check on them. I will do that today at lunch.

In my mind (which is made up mostly of cartoons and resembles a picture by Peter Max) I had pictured that the photodynamic therapy I had on my hands and arms (to remove the per-cancerous actinic keratoses spots) would turn my skin lily white by now. It has not. I notice no difference, actually. I got back in for a check on on the 7th. I will ask then what was supposed to happen. Obviously NOTHING. Maybe the magic takes a while? One must have faith. I haven't lost any weight, either, or tuned stunningly beautiful so I will ask about that, too. (That wasn't promised, but it was hoped for...) I go on Thursday morning to get my stitches out of my head from my last cyst removal. Cysts will come back, mind you - but for now I will be relatively head bump free. I remember my Mom's cyst on her head that they FINALLY removed after it got to be the size of an egg... My Dad had them, too. (I mention this to warn my kids - I have sebaceous cysts and most likely you will eventually have them too. It happens. Don't freak out. Embrace you cysts.)

I heard from my oldest last night that he was in Illinois and shutting down for the night before heading home today. Phew. I hope he enjoys his new career. I hope he knows it will get better as he gets more experience under his belt. Practice makes one better and better every day.

I will put away Christmas this weekend. I keep wanting to do it when I get home, but I get distracted and then I'm tired. I put up a LOT of stuff and it takes longer to put it away then it did to put it up. I will wait until I can spend the day in my jammies and take my time packing it up. I want to clean off all the balls before packing. (giggle)

January 6, 2016 - Those of you who know me know I'm addicted to "The Simpsons" T.V.show. I have been in love with the writing on that show since the very beginning. This year's writing has been in top form. Most people I talk to about the show say "ehhhhhhhh, it has outlived its worth" but frankly I've been enjoying this year's shows very much. I always record them on Sunday night so I can dedicate quiet time to watch them, and so far this year, I've not been disappointed in the least bit. Long Live the Family Yellow. Maybe I love "Simpsons" so much because in real life, I married a 'Homer' - a very handsome Homer, but a Homer nonetheless. Maybe many women marry a 'Homer' - because of love or lust or the whatever the reason or the ration of Homers to Non Homers. There have been many Simpson's shows that were so close to how I feel inside at times I could swear the team of writers were sitting inside my frontal lobe taking notes...and now that I've said all that, I totally forget the point of my story. D'OH!

I have a nice wax melt going that makes the house smell like Spring. (I am addicted to wax melts. I stopped burning candles a long time ago and now rely on the lovely scent of melted wax to make it seem that I effortlessly keep my house so spic-n-span that it just WAFTS clean. I have blocks of used wax all over my house to spread the smell around after I've used them in wax burners. I figure if the house catches on fire it will go three times faster than a normal house due to those shapes of smelly wax in closets and underwear drawers and in the linen cupboard. Every time I go to the store I smell wax melts containers and I am convinced as I may have said before that the next pandemic that wipes out humans will originate from all those noses leaving all their germs on all those wax / tart thingys until they combine to make a super-bug that eliminates mankind...but I digress...) My house smells like Spring even though winter has finally arrived, temperature wise. Frosty cold in the morning and the wee bit of snow on the ground is crunchy from being so frozen. You cannot pick up poop piles because they are so frozen to the ground they will not move until the next melt. Not so bad for me, but Sophie and Jake seem to have begun tag team pooping on the neighbor's yard between our two houses. I will have to go over there on a warm day when they are gone and do some poop patrolling.

I had a goal to use up all the packages of damned chicken breasts I had in the freezer for months. I was using up that chicken this week if it killed me. I took my Aunt and Uncle homemade chicken noodle soup yesterday at lunch time. They seemed quite quiet and tired and feeling their age. Even the speech being given by Mr. Obama wasn't riling my Uncle who can get riled up by ANY WORD that remotely sounds like or implies anything about the GOVERNMENT. I took out the garbage for them after checking around the kitchen. My sister and I always check for moldy food and such in the fridge and on the counter since my Uncle can't see and my Aunt can't get up and around. I had made chicken noodle soup for us and can only make a pot enough to feed six people, so my Aunt got the overage. I made the soup on Sunday evening. We had it again on Monday night for supper. On Tuesday we had baked pretzel covered chicken nuggets. Today, I fixed the LAST PACK of chicken that was in the freezer and had it in the slow cooker all day to become yummy bbq chicken. That being said, I hope not to see chicken for several days or weeks... I did, though, follow through on the promise to myself and I feel good about that. Cluck. BuckAWWWWW.

My wee one turned 23 yesterday. We will have his birthday dinner and cake this weekend. It amazes me he is that old, but it has no impact on how I feel, age wise. I guess after a while if just feels like your kids were always adults and your old dog is always a puppy and you will mentally feel 18 even though you look in the mirror and see dehydrated sheets of rawhide with eye holes. The brain is a powerful thing that can lull you into thinking anything you think you want to believe...

January 12. 2016 - I have decided that they really need to come up with a facial version of the iRobot Roomba that one can put on one's face whilst asleep or when one is reading or watching T.V. so it can farm all of one's facial hairs in the 'off hours' as it were. Sigh. (Speaking as a hairy woman, mind you.) Even after the laser facial hair treatment, it still comes - and grows  -  and multiplies. I don't care NOW, but I do worry about when I'm too old to see and pluck or too old to be able to at least shave. I will be mistaken for "Mr. Sandy" in the nursing home...

I had my first experience at work where I actually had to ask a person I was instructing "you can't you read cursive writing?" Sigh. Suddenly I'm fall in the 'bi-lingual' catagory! Something to put on a my resume someday? "Yes, I speak English-Print and English-Cursive." When the whole 'cursive' experience happened to me I had to give my parents a mental 'high five' for all the crap they had to put up with MY generation. So it begins...

Rocko the Cat was scooting all over the carpet yesterday morning. I have never seen him 'scoot' to get poop out or off. I picked him up to check the situation out and he must have succeeded in his effort to 'wipe' but I will now have to watch the poor dude. He had oodles of trouble with bowel movements several years ago. He got dehydrated and had to have an I.V. to hydrate back up to speed and have special medicine to assist his poop process. Oh, Rocko, you turd head. I will give him some watered down chicken broth tonight to assist his fluid level.

January 14, 2016 - Hurray - Almost Friday. I will go for a hair coloring this weekend and I am ever so looking forward to that! As I've mentioned before, the gray can wait for as long as I say it can wait. Besides, the girl who does my roots does an excellent job of relaxing me by pulling my hair and taking her time with my hair. We all know how I enjoy the relaxing feeling of someone messing with my hair. My hair misses being touched. This makes me a hair whore because I can't get it for free, I have to pay for my hair enjoyment outside the home. Sigh.

This morning I was taking pictures of Jake and Rocko sleeping so cute-like together on the couch when my husband came in from outside, stomping his feet loudly to rid them of snow. This woke both of the critters up because it scared them and their expression was that of, "What the Hell!?!?" (Jake is so close to Rocko because he is waiting for both of us to leave for work so he can kick the cat off HIS couch and then push off the stinky cat blanket and wallow around like the idiot pig boy that he is.)

I was having an issue last night dealing with self pity. (Yes, Kids - Even at my ripe old age, self pity can rear its ugly head. Why this happens, I'm not sure. The brain is apparently left unattended by the staff up there and it runs amok and eats too much sugar and paints on the walls, etc.) It started when I read a bit of the blog of the wife of one of my best male friends. His wife is very into proper dressing, shopping, makeup and being 'beautiful' and such. I know I was born without that genetic capacity. It is a known fact that I can be no more refined than a bulldozer, nor do I choose to be, so why reading this blog made me think, "What is wrong with ME??" I have no clue. I have done fine being unrefined for 55 years. It took a while to shake off the feeling of being inferior to all females on the planet due to my natural self. Once I figured out my brain was causing me undo grief and the cranium staff got my brain back under control, I was fine. Sigh. You can pretty much guarantee you are your own worst enemy most of the time... 

The Birthday meal last weekend with the boys and my wee one's girlfriend was fun. I made beef and noodles for supper and my wee one's favorite hot fudge cake for dessert. Watson the granddog came for a visit, too. I adore that damned dog. He ripped up the toys I got him faster than you could say, "Hey stop him! He's ripping the toys I got him!!"  My oldest was home after driving his semi last week to Memphis, Tennessee, Oconomowoc, Wisconsin, and other places in Indiana, Illinois, and Ohio. He pretty much has been going out on a Sunday and coming back on Friday night. I hope he ends up loving his choice of job. I am scared to death to have him out there on icy roads in hauling a semi trailer behind him. Sigh. Guess if you want to learn to drive a huge rig in the winter, you start a new job doing so IN THE WINTER? Makes a Mom's guts fall out. Smile.

Can you believe January is half OVER? Neither can I. At least we agree. On that note, I bid thee adieu!

January 15, 2016 - Last night I was sleeping oh-so-well when there came an alarm blasting. It woke both of us up. "What the hell?" I stated loudly as I flew out of bed. I could not think of what that sound could be - I checked the computers in the house to make sure they were not blowing up and I checked my cell phone. "Is it your cell phone?" I asked my husband. He was oh so very sure it was NOT. I should have checked his cell phone. It took me over an hour to go back to sleep as I analyzed (in my head) all the possible causes there could be for such a ruckus. This morning when I really woke up for the day, I went right to his cell and sure enough, there was an amber alert. His work phone is set up to announce (LOUDLY) such alerts. I felt better knowing where the noise came from.

When I left for work yesterday morning, I forgot my laptop. So I worked on another PC that wasn't being used until 9:30. Then we had cake for Sue's, my friend and coworker, 25th anniversary. Yum. After that I ran home to get my work laptop computer. When I was in the parking lot getting ready to go, I swung open my driver's side door and I noticed that on my side of the car there was a bunch of 'nesting' fluff! I have lived in the country long enough to know that was definitely mouse nesting stuff on the floor. (When there is one mouse, there are many mice..). Then I saw there was a hole in my floor mat. Ugh. I drove home thinking, "Please don't run up my leg! Please don't run up my leg!" When I got home I threw out the mat and picked out the carpet remnants used to make nesting material and looked for more evidence. When in the world would Feivel and family have time to find a way into my car and build an condo? I use the car EVERY DAY. Sigh. Was it a work mouse or a home mouse? Are they still in there? HOW DID THEY GET IN THERE? Mind you, it WAS cold and if I was a mouse and I was cold, I would look for a place to hunker down as well, so I can't BLAME them. However, if there is mouse making a house in my car then is there a mouse EATING WIRES IN MY DASHBOARD to survive? Ugh. I will follow up on this tomorrow when I have time to crawl about the car in search on intelligent life...

Speaking of intelligent life or lack thereof, did you hear Pat Robertson said that David Bowie was kidnapped by demons from hell because demons in hell wanted live concerts from David? Good for the hell demons. Rock on, David. Make them all buy T-Shirts. (And may I say, and this is my personal opinion only, that when Pat's calling people drug addicts and such, he should really listen to himself sometimes. I've not heard such rantings like he can come up with except from people doing high volumes of peyote...)

January 20, 2016 - I was in the mood to play with a critter the other night but the critters I possess do not 'play' per say. Rocko no longer plays unless he's ripping skin off of my hand or running at high speeds to shake loose a dingleberry and Jake was always more of a lover, not a dog that fetches or plays. He will 'romp' with Sophie and Lucy and Watson, but his attempts at play are few and far between. Hence, I was longing for my Grand Dogs who both would play until the sun came up. It was just about then when I was thinking longingly of Zora and Watson that Jake jumped off the couch, went to the doggie toy basket and got out a toy with a squeaker and proceeded to rip out the squeaker. He chewed and chewed that thing. I was too shocked to move to get a camera, plus I didn't want to disturb his 'playing' moment. He would not have fetched, mind you, but he did manage to rip the toy in shreds. The point of the story? Animals can read minds.

My Daughter got me a Fitbit for Christmas. A small 'Zip' version. I usually wear it in my bra. I must admit that it does remind me to move more. I used to think about doing something at work that involved moving, then I would keep working. Now I get up and go do it, so the wee device has its benefits. However, my FitBit sent me joyous messages the other morning - amazed by the half marathon I did over night. WooHoo! It was so excited. It gave me a badge and everything. The problem with all that was the fact I was asleep when I supposedly walked 13+ miles from midnight to six a.m. Advice for Fitbit users - don't set it next to something that vibrates, in this case a table top humidifier. My Daughter got my husband a Fitbit as well, but one worn on the wrist. Here all this time I've assumed I ran circles around that boy, movement wise, but he walks over five miles a day with his job. I don't come close at work. So he won the Fitbit race and I have to stop cursing him out for being a big lazy blog in a chair. I now hold that title. Feel free to harass me.

I had so much to blog about but I've run out of time as work keeps interfering with me blogging here at home, so I will log off for now and go work instead. Have a glorious day!

January 21, 2016 - Cripes - the dreams I've been having lately. Really - where does my brain come up with these story lines?? I am going to start keeping a dream journal (off line, mind you, as my dreams tend to gtet a bit steamy from time to time...) I would LOVE to see the relationship between meals and dreams and my day activity and dreams....

I cannot connect to work this a.m., so I will blab here a bit and go in early. I wanted to mention yesterday about another humorous thing about brains. I am sure we all experience it, especially as we age. We have a whole sort of game show sort of thing going on up there, We forget words and our brains give us hints and we shout out possible answers until we hear the DING DING DING go off. I even laugh out loud sometimes at this process of thought.
"I best turn on the ... um... what the hell is it..."
"IT HAS A BULB!..."
"..um...the thingy...."
"IT HAS A THREE WAY BULB!...."
"...it's a .... um...."
"YOU CAN READ BETTER WHEN THIS IS ON!..."
"OK! I know, I best turn on the LAMP!"
"DING DING DING DING DING! YOU WIN!!"
These type of mental exchanges are over in the matter of seconds, but I still laugh. I will laugh at stuff like this until I honestly cannot remember the words anymore and then whadya gonna do anyway? That's right - You will run naked through fields of daisies! Correct answer.

I was also thinking the other day after I heard the Beatles on the oldies station doing "Twist and Shout" how we just fawned over the Beatles and welcomed their music with open arms at that point in time, even though (now) that song sounds rather simple, but it didn't matter  - we loved the Beatles. Then we kept loving the Beatles though their evolution as a group, rolling along with the new sounds and such. (Yes, I know, not everyone loves them, I'm just talking about the majority of the human race that does..) I guess what I was trying to figure out why some changes and differences that evolve with certain entities we, as humans, just accept blindly and others we revile and revolt against?? (Seriously, in my head, this is a valid question and I understand it, I just am not sure how to express it on paper...)

OK, Now I'll shut up and go to work!

January 26, 2016 - The wind outside sounds fast and furious. Jake the Dog went out long enough to do his business and come back inside. He is not a fan of higher winds and colder temperatures, or mud and rain...

I have a routine of unwinding at night by watching "How the Universe Works" on the T.V. because I tend to fall asleep during those reruns (because Mike Rowe narrates that show and he has the type of voice where he could be narrating the apocalypse and it would still lull me in to a state of peaceful slumber. Like butter, his voice! Plus I've seen each episode six million times so it is more of a pleasant white noise to drift off to sleep to, but I digress...) Last night I was hunkered down ready to relax when I decided to check the news on my smart phone real quick while my show droned in the background. I spent about 40 minutes reading news after that and then I decided I would see if I could watch episodes  of "How the Universe Works" on my phone (and may I say the graphics were AWESOME) and when I finally realized I had wandered down the path of distraction so far that an hour has flown by, I scolded myself mentally and got up to go to bed. OUCH! Using a cell phone for an hour BROKE MY NECK! How do you people who are on them constantly do it? My neck/head hurt all night and it wasn't until this morning when I finally stretched and hear a POP in my neck that I felt better. Really, y'all - put down the damned phones and stretch. LOOK at stuff with your real eyes, not through the 'eyes' of your phone screen. (...but once again, I will admit, the graphics were AWESOME...)

I have read some major rants on Facebook lately from people and I do so want to comment, but what is the point? When the rants are coming from humans that believe they are entitled or believe the whole world is out to get them, then I cannot sway their thought process. Their mental damage was done years ago and it is up to the individuals to change and/or grow and/or heal and move on... At work we have used social media to help us screen prospective applicants. (Heck, my employers could terminate me for this blog if they wanted to even though we all have a right to say anything we want on social media.) If prospective employers sees you out there blaming everyone in the world for your problems BY NAME except your self, then as an employer I would not hire you since that attitude won't fit and as far as I'm concerned, you are a liability waiting to happen. Oh well, we are all different cuts of cloth - ranging from steel wool to silk - and I can't let their issues bother me anymore more than I already do let their issues bother me. Walk away ... just walk away...

There have been oodles of lovely deer EATING MY BLASTED BIRD SEED OUT FRONT. I do so enjoy seeing them CONSUME ALL MY BIRD SEE OUT OF THE FEEDERS LIKE IT WAS POPCORN AT A MOVIE!! (I sense anger on my part, don't you?). I have not filled up the front feeders since we saw with our own eyes the deer partaking of newly filled feeders, calling up all their deer friends on their deer cell phones and getting a deer sized keg and such. (To be fair, Jake also ate a lot of bird food on the ground from that deer party and came in and barfed it up all over the carpet so I can say at least the deer keep it down...) I know the deer have to eat, too. I also know they are VERY PLUMP AND JUICY looking which to me indicates they are not starving. Sigh. They used to leave the birdseed as a last resort and then I didn't mind so much. I watched several deer last night, silhouetted between my house and the neighbors to the south. The deer were happily munching on sticks and exposed grass and who knows what else a deer will eat. I am waiting for them to jump the fence into the dog pen area where I DO fill up the bird feeders. If they do that, then IT'S PERSONAL....

I miss being outside, I have big plans this spring for a bigger and better fairy garden set up... (Although, really - I will be spending my first four weeks of spring time this year cleaning up all of Jake's turd piles in the neighbor's yards.) We saw wooden crates at Home Depot, and I suddenly had this marvelous idea of taking the fairy gardens UPWARDS! I can do multi-story garden! My husband was muttering things like, "Oh, yay, more crap in the yard!" (He is not a fan of -  well, all the crap I put in the yard...)

February 4, 2016 - My car is 12 years old. I love my old car. It was the first car I purchased ALL BY  MYSELF. There are many things on my old car now that do not work properly. One of those things are the seat belts. They don't automatically zip back into place anymore . It takes the things all night to work their way back to being ready for the next seating, so when you just pop out and get back in, they are loose and floppy. After I got into my car after leaving the grocery store last night after work and as I was driving out of their driveway, my seat belt felt like it was WAY too tight and I thought some of it must be stuck in the door. (I am way too fat so my seat belt was already fighting a losing battle.) I was yanking on the thing seeing if I could pull it out of the door frame by chance without having to stop and open the door when my seat flew back. Hahahaha. It was not stuck in the door, it was stuck around the recliner handle. I explained to my seat belt that there was no reason whatsoever to deploy the 'make out seat' function when there was no one in the car to make out with...

Three days ago when the sun was shining and it was almost spring like, I grabbed a five gallon bucket and went poop picking next door. Jake is constantly squatting in the poor neighbor's yards. Sigh I was having trouble sleeping just knowing a winter's worth of Jake crap was in their yards. I decided that I would end the problem. I would stand up to the evil that was bowel movements and take action. Jake came along to assure that I was doing it correctly and make more. Due to Jake's addiction to bird seed, there were many piles that were obviously HIS. I picked up as much as I could. It was a poop apocalypse. (Now mind you, I thought the neighbors were not home. I hate just having my way with the neighbors when they are not aware of it.) After getting as much as I could, I see Jake take off to mark Ron and Sue's yard as well. Sigh. So I went over there. I knew one of them was home as Sophie had also come over to assist with my search and destroy mission. I knew they wouldn't mind if I de-pooped Jake's piles. I had over half of a five gallon pail full of doody before I was done. (I did get to see Ron and Sue, however, which was a bonus. I miss them during the winter when we're all holed up in our houses.) I was so happy to get that all cleaned up. I know I missed a ton, but I put a dent in the damage. Come to find out, though, that the young neighbor man was HOME and I should have knocked on his door and told him I was on a mission. Duh. I can hear him now... "Hi, Honey - yeah, the old neighbor lady is in the yard again... yes, uh huh. She has a big bucket. She has a pooper scooper and rubber gloves on and she's talking to her dog... Uh huh. I promise I won't call the police unless she starts getting naked or dancing or the like..."

Our power went out two nights ago. BOOM. It was out. I love having a generator but I do hate being so addicted to all things related to electricity, such as the Internet, Computers, Light Bulbs, Refrigerators, and at night, my Fan. I cannot sleep when it is SO QUIET! I need a fan to sleep. Jake was in a panic that night for some reason. He's almost 11 or so and has seen many power outages in his life, but he was still freaked out last and I'm not sure why. I kept my bat handy by the bed, though, just in case. You never know when you will want to break out in an spontaneous game of softball...

I was a little upset when Ted Cruz gave props to God for him "winning Iowa" (and I'm sure God wasn't that happy either, but by now poor God is used to crap like that), I am sure God has no hand in the stupid political dreams of any human on Earth. Humans on Earth abuse the right to have God in their lives. Sigh. Double Sigh. I am sure after hearing the likes of some of the candidates, God just turns the channel and goes off to create another universe or something...

February 11, 2016 - Yesterday would have been my Mom's 94th Birthday had she not passed away in 1998. I still want to call her all the time. I still have moments where I think, "Yikes, I gotta call Mom!" Those feelings only last a split second, but they still happen. I imagine I will always feel that way.

My husband gave me my Valentine's Day presents early. As you can tell, we've been together so long, there is no need for surprises or waiting or romance. (The only surprises we will ever have the rest of our lives will be when we fall and break a hip or in the beginning throws of a heart attack...) He got me a glow in the dark wall clock of the Milky Way. Very nice. He mounted it in the living room, but there is just too much light in the living room to appreciate the 'glow in the dark' feature. I want him to move it to the bedroom. I will advise him of this fact this weekend. I do so love the Universe and glow in the dark items!!

He also got me an R2D2 bubble blower. It is 11 inches or so tall. He remembered I adore bubbles. I do. I really enjoy bubbles and balloons and hot air balloons. I would go as far as saying I LOVE those types of things. I am not so big on the Star Wars delivery method, however. I am sure he saw 'BUBBLES' and that was all she wrote. He tried. I have plans on getting those catnip bubbles you can buy from pet stores and loading them up and shooting this thing at Rocko. I will attempt to get action shots this weekend. R2D2 even lights up and beeps at you and turns his head to blast the bubbles.... Actually, I can see this could end up being quite fun. I may take it to work. I wish it had motion detection! I've told my daughter this thing is coming to her wedding reception. (Although she told me NO STINKY CATNIP BUBBLES. Brides - go figure.)

I had a black squirrel out back last Saturday morning that was staring at me through the window while I did dishes. I swear he looked like he had his hands on his hips and was chattering away about the fact I had not refilled the bird feeder LATELY. I clearly was not paying attention to the important things such as supporting the local wild life now was I? That squirrel stared at me until I busted out laughing and stopped doing dishes and whet and threw a dish of seed out to the birds (and obviously HIM). Soon a large group of birdies and several squirrels were all enjoying a meal. Forgive me, angry squirrel. Point taken.

I was sick on Sunday with a fever and was in a daze all day. The highest I remember my fever being was 103 degrees. I drank a lot of water and buried myself in blankets and slept a lot. I felt so cold I ended up putting on ear muffs and gloves in the house. I took Monday off to finish recovering. I slept Monday away as well. I did feel better Monday night, however. A 48 hour bout of something I had. (I should have known something was wrong Sunday morning when I couldn't stomach my precious coffee.) Even after I was fever free, I was still cold. My husband checked the thermostat Monday night because HE was cold. "Holy Crap, it is 60 in here!' he said. We both looked at Rocko the Cat. Rocko gets up on the CD cabinet and Rocko plays with shadows on the wall sometimes. We thought we had the cabinet far enough away from the thermostat that he wouldn't mess with it, but apparently not. It was my fault. I had hung Valentine decorations on that wall and it became Rocko's only quest to remove them all by Sunday night. No doubt during his flights to knock down the wall items, he bashed the old thermostat. God Bless the Kitties. Burrrrrr........


February 16, 2016 -  Just a factual notation - Rocko the Cat snores. I think I've mentioned this fact before, but when he does it I am always shocked. He is the first cat I can recall snoring like that. It is a high pitched whistle sound like 'Pewwwwwwww, Peeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww'....

The weekend flew by at a high rate of speed with me accomplishing NOTHING WHATSOEVER. I played with my bubble machine (that irritated Jake who constantly barked at it) and I took my husband out for heart shaped Valentine pancakes at our favorite diner on Sunday. Oh My. So delicious. I had been good all week on fats and treated my liver like the Royalty that my Liver thinks it is so I could splurge on Sunday. I enjoyed that stupid heart shaped pancake with real whipped cream and chocolate chips SO MUCH. Sigh. Yum. I didn't even get ONE warning shot from my Liver!! Woot.

I stopped feeding the birdies at the front feeders a while back because the deer gangs come along and tip the feeders up and eat from them like they were movie popcorn. Sigh. I continue to feed the birdies in the dog pen. I have several feeders there, thinking it was safe from deer. My husband got up the other night to find Bambi in the pen and one of her gang members hanging around outside of the pen, each helping themselves to the feeders in both spots. When they noticed him looking out the window, SPROING - the one in the pen (who we are sure is the ring leader) flew back out of the fence in one graceful movement. I assumed they would just attempt this daring raid on my dog pen bird feeders in the night, but I got out of the shower the other morning and Bambi and her minions were back. I ran to get my camera but they had bolted off and were across the road before I could take a picture. IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!! HOW DARE THEY!?!? (I honestly don't mind feeding ALL forms of wildlife but it has not been that snowy nor cold when the Bambi Gang took over these here parts, so I figured the deer have a better chance of finding delicious bark over in the woods as opposed to my feathered friends finding available seeds. That is why I get riled when deer rape my bird feeders. Pretty soon gangs of deer will be performing 'West Side Story' across the road and one thing will lead to another and ...)

February 29, 2016 -  Ah, it has been a 10+ days or so but since I know how my three readers are chomping at the bit, I will finally update. Be still your beating hearts...

Let me see...there was a snow storm last week. Not a big one. (I HATE how the media blows a normal winter storm out of proportion, making it sound like there will be no survivors...) I was going to sit here and criticize the fact that they even closed school but then in the back on my mind I could hear someone ... somewhere ... in some other time and space, laughing at us for closing schools for so long back in in 1978. (They closed school for just two foot of snow!?  Well in my day...) So I'll shut up.

I did make a snow man during that snowing since it was heavy and wet and BEGGING for a 55 year old woman to come touch it. It was a snow bunny, actually and Jake the Dog helped so much. He would romp about as we were pelted with snow, bite a chunk out of the rear end of the snow bunny and then romp some more. I did this in my work clothes and ended up being totally soaked and losing my pants by the time I was done with my masterpiece. Sometimes you gotta make a snowman. Sometimes you just gotta play... Sometimes you gotta moon your neighbors... Last week's snow is all gone now, however. It got to be in the 50 this weekend, melting any trace of my feeble attempt at artistic expression. We are due for more snow this week (maybe tonight?) and I will make another critter if the snow is so kind.

There were the mass shootings in Kalamazoo ... we worry about ISIS when we should be worried about our neighbors even more? Sigh. Sad Sad Sad. What will bother everyone from now on is WHY HE DID IT. Why? What causes any one human to think it is OK to take the life of another. I will never understand that part of it. Then after that happened, another several rampages took place across the country. Were humans ALWAYS this mentally ill? Was it like this back in the pioneer days when they were headed out West and we just didn't hear about it? Incidents such as that make me very sad I plopped out kids in to this world. Kids, I'm sorry. I meant well, but there are evil, horrid people out there. Please never be one of them...

I got my husband his anniversary presents early and gave them to him Friday night. The first one I gave him (and I pretended it was his only one) was an R2D2 small personal humidifier. You see, this is hysterical (if only to me) because he got me that R2D2 bubble machine for Valentine's day and WHY? I am not a collector of anything Star Wars...but I digress. We needed a real humidifier as our old one committed suicide so I got him a new REAL one but when I saw the wee R2D2 one - I had to get that one as well. He got me a lovely new set of stoneware dishes. (Meaning I picked it out and he paid for it.) We've had the same dishes since 1997 so it was time for a new set.

When he opened it up, he laughed and laughed. "Point taken" he chuckled. He did, however, set up the wee R2D2 unit in the bedroom and has been using all weekend. The REAL humidifier I got him did not work out of the box, so that went back yesterday and we got a 'new' new one. It is over there purring like a kitten and spewing forth moisture into our dry air. No more bloody boogers for us, boy howdy.

Since the humidifier would take up the perch shelf that Rocko had claimed as his own, my husband BOUGHT THE DARNED CAT A PERCH. Hahahahaha. We spent a half hour debating the virtues of all the cat perches at Petco and decided on the one that had the best of all worlds for a stupid cat. I must admit, Rocko has been more lovey-dovey since the introduction of his Kitty Condo. He even slept on my chest last night and that is UNHEARD of since we became his owners. Maybe he realizes we are on his side and he is alpha cat and is not going to be replaced any time soon by a new dog or another cat? Or he'll do what he always does - charm us for a bit then go and piss on the front door. If that cat's head spun around and pea soup shot out, it would surprise me not.

My Aunt's health has taken a turn for the worse so she is now at my cousin's house since she needs full time care. I hope they eventually bring my Uncle over to the house as well. (My Aunt used to tell me that my sister and I killed our Mom because we sent her to a nursing home. I really do not believe this and I don't let it bother me and I only bring it up now because she NEEDS to be in a facility with medical assistance 24/7. I wonder if she can see this fact? I doubt it. I think at this point she is just very, very angry at every one.) We will all get to the point my Aunt is at, but I hope we are not as angry. I have been working very hard after seeing this happen to my own Mom to work out issues in my head. I don't want to be the one who blames everyone for everything that happened in my life when I go over the edge. I want to be the one who chases cute male orderlys in my wheel chair... Sigh.











 

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