hamburgers. Yum. (That is Grace in
the picture to the right.) I graduated High School with Grace. I adore Grace.
Grace always makes me feel better. She is like a nice warm hot tub on a cold
winter's day. Contented sigh...September 2, 2010 - The month of September has always been a very anxious month for me. Many things happen in September. School starts and there was/is always tons of paperwork to fill out.
There are three birthdays this month in my house. (My oldest will turn 30, my daughter turns 23, and my husband turns 52!)
Of course, that means all the license plates need to be renewed too...
September 9th is the12th anniversary of my Mom's death. That always haunts me a bit. Any loss of any loved one haunts people from time to time. There were several years there that I couldn't figure out why I felt so weird until after the fact, but nonetheless, the brain is a powerful thing and can throw you a curve ball from time to time. Many times I have not been on speaking terms with my brain...
Sigh. So, in conclusion - September can 'haunt' me. Late Sunday nights bother me too, since I'm complaining... I never liked those, either. Everyone would go to bed early when I was a little girl and there I would be all awake and alone and the house would be stone quiet and I would think to my little self that it just wasn't right.
Oh well, if you want to feel really melancholy, there are only 114 shopping days left until Christmas....
Two of my dear friends take on the battle with the Big C this month, and I wish them much love and luck and send many prayers. Cancer has always been like a computer virus in my mind. It invades YOUR STUFF and touches YOUR STUFF and it has not right to touch YOUR STUFF because, well, it's YOUR STUFF! Cancer is the prowler that breaks in to your house at night and takes YOUR STUFF while you are sleeping. You worked hard for your stuff, and no one has a right to touch it. Sigh. I love you guys.
My, aren't I miss little Happy Pants this morning. We're all entitled to be reflective from time to time, however, and I am being reflective and not morbid, actually. If you don't discuss things from time to time, it gets all bottled up and causes gas and inflammatory lesions, so I'm told.
I have gotten good updates from my big city daughter about life in Chicago. My oldest son gets a three day weekend so I believe he is taking is little brother and Pat up to see her this weekend. That will help ease loneliness for her. Soon she will be so busy with school work she won't have time to be lonely.
The first official home football game is next Friday. I go for the band, of course, but always get caught up in the game itself. I wish I knew what was going on down on that field... I used to know the game many moons ago. I knew what they were doing out there on the field. I, however, gave up those particular brain cells for other things as soon as I started plopping out kids. Now I just get pleasure out of seeing people run around like idiots.
September 3, 2010 - Friday and so cool outside. There is a strong breeze that feels cleansing and wonderful. Apparently we had thunderstorms last night but I slept like a rock through them. Since giving up massive amounts of caffeine during the day, I sleep so much better at night. Sigh. I gave up the caffeine per the doctor's advice for my heart gerbils - just to prove him wrong - I assumed it would have no impact and I wanted to be able to say to him, "Giving up caffeine has had no impact whatsoever on my physical well being!" in a haughty type 'I-told-you-so' way, but it HAS had an impact. The gerbils still roam free, but not as as strong and plentiful as before, and I have been sleeping through the night like dead rocks and, well, feel better over all. I hate it when they are right...
I have been keeping a journal of how I feel and what I eat, etc. I want to see a pattern to stressful times and/or the times I shove half a cow into my mouth. I also wanted to keep track of the times when I feel the gerbils more so than others, etc. The journal has shown me that the evening hours are my enemy. If I allow it, I will eat and eat and eat some more. I have an issue with that. If I stay up past nine p.m., it is a guarantee that I will eat junk or sugar or anything with starch in it and comes from a bag that crackles when you open it. Can you say 'no willpower whatsoever...' At least when I go to bed at nine, I may be awake for an hour or two before falling asleep, but I am too damned lazy to get back up and eat for the most part.
Yesterday morning there were tons of robins in my yard that I noticed before I left the house for work. They were all staged and ready for the inbound rain. I assume they were waiting for the rain so the worms would be easier to find near the surface. It made me laugh - a coordinated birdie SWAT team...
Oh, and I have been wanting to mention prescience abilities... We all have those moments where we think to ourselves, "Man, I wish the next song on the radio was (insert title of song here)" and then the next song IS that song. That happens to us as humans more frequently than we would like to admit. We seem to know that something will happen before it does on occasion. (A variant on the 'deja vu' thing where we just know that what has just happened has happened before...) Mom's can have prescience with their children. Many a time I have know something was wrong before it was announced by said child that something was wrong. This ability in humans has always amazed me, and recently I've had quite a few of those moments. Example: The other morning before I logged on to any internet device in my house, I thought to myself, "Man, I've not seen or heard about Rob in years..." We used to work with Rob and he and I took a supervisor's class together years and years ago. Now why would I have thought of him right then? As soon as I logged on to Facebook, there is a friend invite from him. This made me laugh quite hard. Weird. I do not question the fact our brains are marvelous and powerful things, and I enjoy those moments when my brain pulls something like this out of a hat, but these moments still and will forever amaze me. (Now, if my brain is all powerful and knowing, why can't it get it's poop in a group when it comes to over eating!???)
September 4, 2010 - This morning I was teasing the dogs at the back door. I had my hand on the handle to go outside and I tormented them by saying things in a high pitched baby voice such as, "Jakie's gotta go potty?" "Kia wanna go outside?" and I kept tormenting them until they were barking at me and crossing their legs. I finally let them out and watched them fly to separate corners of the pen to potty and it dawned on me that Jake is a 90 pound descendant of wolves... he could have easily turned on me and ripped out my jugular vein just because I was teasing him so much, but he didn't. It all comes down to loyalty and love I think. We let the ones we love torment us and anger us because it's all worth it in the end when they throw us a bone from time to time and scratch behind our ears. (At 5:30 a.m. in the morning in the dark, cold dog pen that all sounded very philosophical and deep and stuff in my head...)
The boys will be heading over to see their sister today and spend the weekend with her. She has lived through her first week of school and seems no worse for wear. Sounds like there will be tons of homework and study to occupy her time over the next five years. I have to admit, what she is taking on will be intense and I cannot express to her how proud I am of her that she is going for it. She will succeed as well, as that is just her way. Kudos to my girlie.
September 6, 2010 - Had a nice time
at my friend Grace's house this afternoon. She cooked up hot dogs, brats, and hamburgers. Yum. (That is Grace in
the picture to the right.) I graduated High School with Grace. I adore Grace.
Grace always makes me feel better. She is like a nice warm hot tub on a cold
winter's day. Contented sigh...
My oldest had sent me videos from his phone of the concerts they went to Sunday night in Rockford, Illinois, recording my favorite song in full. Hugs to my boy! My daughter, her boyfriend, and my two boys all drove there to see Trombone Shorty and Here Come the Mummies in concert. My wee one had yet to see the Mummies perform live and in person. I had asked my oldest for a picture of my youngest son's reaction to the whole concert experience, and this is what he sent me - (staged as it was...)
There is a stamp of intelligence on the wee one, no doubt!
So back to work tomorrow! Viva a new day!
...the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time"...