May 13, 2025 - Well, I'm back. It is so lonely in this house now, and talking to myself wasn't gettin' it, so I will type instead.

Norman died suddenly on April 29th. My neighbor Sue and I were outside playing with the dogs. Sue would kick the ball to Norman then he'd bring it to me, and I'd throw it. This went on for quite a while until he saw me loving on Gertie (Sue's doggie) and he came running up and got slobber on her (which I tended to find humorous since Ron hated that...no offense, Ron!). After the slobbering, he turned around and saw a stick in Justin's yard he had yet to pee on (which was his goal in life, to urinate on every possible piece of tree debris in my yard). He went over and started chewing on it and Sue thought she should take it to Justin's burn pile, and I told her, "No, he's happy - let him chew on a stick!" and we continued to talk when we heard a god awful noise from Norman's way and turned and he was down flat. I got down on my hands and knees and crawled up to him. Just by the look on his face - his eyes - I knew he was leaving. Sue ran to get Ron and take Gertie home. I petted Normie, told him to find his Dad and slobber him for a change and I thanked him for the comfort he brought me. There were several tremors as I petted him, then he was gone. Ron came over and confirmed he felt no heart beat then the neighbors went in to over drive. Ron called my vet and asked when they closed so we could bring the body up, and then he called Justin and told him to come home because I needed him. Ron went to get a blanket and Sue stayed with me. (She had to help me up, though. I was down there and couldn't get up.) Justin got home and cleaned up Norman's back side for me, and they wrapped him in a blanket and loaded him in the back of Ron's truck. The boys were off to our veterinarian's office in the truck and Sue took me up in her car. The boys carried him in the back and placed him on the little room's floor. I had started to kind of go into shock on the way up with Sue. The vet on duty came in and had confirm he was gone. "No heartbeat" she muttered and she felt him all over and said, "I bet it was a massive heart attack..." That was my thought, too. He had previous spells where he 'fainted' and collapsed. I am sure he had a bad heart, now that I ponder it. The last time he did that my niece was here and he crapped himself too, but he came out of it. Sigh. They took Norm away on a gurney and the neighbors took me home.

I drank heavily that night. I cried my heart out. I had the music up loud. Norman had been with me for five years, through my husbands passing, through thick and thin these last five years. He was my "Covid Baby" as it were - spoiled beyond belief. He was MY BABY BOY and he let everyone know it, especially my grandson. Norman did not like him one bit! He got the attention that I am sure Norman though should be his.

The house has been too quiet. I have been getting full night's worth of sleep (I've not slept all night since I got the boy). There is no chaos as before... just silence. I gave all of his food and toys to my niece for her doggies. I moved the couch around and it opened up the living room quite nicely without his huge bed taking up half the floor. For two weeks I've been working through this all in my head. He was a good boy. I miss him terribly. I am just glad he passed FAST and he didn't suffer. We should all be that lucky when our time comes.

We are in "End to End" daily meetings all month for our up coming migration to the new software. Today was the first day I kind of got excited about the whole thing. Not sure why, really. So much to stuff into our little brains, but today I saw 'hope' in a remote, very far away way...

All my kids were here the weekend after Norm passed. That was great comfort. My grandson was so good all weekend. Normally I call him "Mr. Peepers" (a skit from an old Saturday Night Live show) because his attention span is normally .03 seconds...but that weekend he was just a doll. I blew up two balloons for him and you would have thought I had given him the world, he had so much fun with them. He also loves BUBBLES, so there were plenty of those flying around. I too, love bubbles. He's my kind of kid.

This Mother's Day weekend my sons took me to breakfast on Saturday and came back home so my wee one could mow my yard and my oldest helped me do a few things - mainly we gabbed - but still - it was nice. Sunday my niece came over and cleaned for me, and we had pizza and sat around talking which was also nice. I did not feel lonely on Mother's Day weekend. A blessing!

I suppose I will go do something constructive. There are hardly any dishes to do anymore...hardly any laundry. I did not realize the amount of effort I put in to keep Norm's bowls clean and the amount of slobber rags he produced - I had to do a load every day! I also figured out how much I spent on food for him a month, and if I told you, you'd most likely lose control of one of your orifices. Smile. Unreal.

May 25, 2025 - Ah, a nice quiet day. I ran up to get a few tomato plants to put in my boxes I had ready for them. I picked up some parsley plants, too. I go through a lot of parsley. Yesterday when the boys came for breakfast, we went to the nearby green house and picked out the rest of my flowers for my flower beds. Two wee beds i just put in wild flower seed. I love wild flowers growing all willynilly. I planted wild flower seeds in the old dead spiral willow in the yard, too. I loved it last year when they were blooming on top. I stopped and had lunch at my favorite diner. (SOS). Now I'm home, chillin'...

Mid June I am getting two sibling kittens - one male, one female. I am adopting them from a rescue place. I have started stocking up on things...kitty litter, a scratching post, I already had a kitty condo. I got kitty food and some toys. I am not really 'excited' but I am looking forward to introducing chaos back in to my life. I am looking forward to someone needing my attention again. (I believe I've always had to give my attention to someone. My youngest son said, "Mom, why don't you just worry about JUST YOU for a change." I told him, "Hey, I bought myself a new bra! I have been good to me!") I do miss the chaos part in the house a lot. I would like to name one of them Bonkers (if the name applies) and one Rishi.

Rishi is actually someone I work with in India on the implementation. When we started the whole process, we'd be on the teams meetings and their team would literally yell at poor Rishi, "RISHI, WRITE THIS DOWN!" "RISHI, ARE YOU NOTING THIS?" "Rishi (do this) and RISHI (do that)!" I felt bad for the guy. He wasn't stupid by any means, just obviously lower on the totem pole. I had had about enough of the Rishi abuse, so one time when he joined the meeting I screamed RISHI!!!!!!! Everyone kind of laughed and the head of the team in India said, 'Sandy, you are full of coffee this morning?" and I said, "This is a possibility, Nagesh, but I figured all you guys yell at poor Rishi all the time like I yell at Norman, so I thought I would at least try to make him feel a bit of happiness and appreciation before we start." Rishi thanked me and now it is tradition to holler at Rishi. They've even let him actually do presentation now, and I like his style and his understanding and his knowledge. Hence the reason I want to name one kitten RISHI because it is actually fun to scream out, to be honest...

I have the bedding in the washer. Like I said before, the need to wash anything has fallen dramatically since Norman's departure from this earth. Tonight, though, I thought I would have clean bedding and take a nice bath bom hot soak before bed. I would shave my legs but my legs don't grow hair anymore. They barely ever did. I got that from my Mom. She didn't have hairy legs, either. All of my hair is in my mustache and beard and I would gladly exchange that for excessively hairy legs any day. Oh well. It is what it is and who am I to complain? At least at this point I am still breathing!

I made chicken salad for sandwiches and brownies for my sister in law's visit - which I thought was today - but it is tomorrow, but that is OK - the chicken salad will have time to blend flavors well. So me, I'm going to go take a nap. I seem to excel at naps lately. (Until there are kittens running all over me...)

May 31, 2025 - We have a bad air alert due to the smoke from Canada. I don't see it like I did last year with the fires out west, though. My cousin in Wisconsin says it smells like 'butt' ...

I have been so enjoying the birds at the bird feeders in the dog pen. At night I get raccoons in there eating the fallen seed, which is OK. I've yelled at them and they fear nothing, those raccoons. During the day, I get so many types of woodpeckers, titmouses, nuthatches,  grackles, redwinged back birds, cowbirds, chickadees, finches, bluejays, orioles, mockingbirds, cardinals, juncos, sparrows, mourning doves, starlings, hummingbirds, and I've had one sighting of a catbird and a rose breasted grosbeak and an indigo bunting. You can imagine that I go through a LOT of bird food and you would not be wrong.(I didn't count robins as they don't come to the feeders).

June 1, 2025 - I have made myself ground chicken meatloaf, corn on the cob, and boiled taters for lunch. That most likely will tide me over for a supper, too. I felt like I had to eat 'real food' for a change. Cooking for one sucks, I must say. I ran to the store this morning to get a few more flowers to plant. Not many at all, just a few dahlias to put in the crotch of the willow tree that fell several years ago. What is left of the old willow tree is also a high rise chipmunk condo unit, so we'll see if the dahlias survive or if I end up blocking some of their entries and they take matters into their own hands.

My grandson will ask his parents for one of us (Me - who is NaNa) and the other grandparents (Oma and Opa for the the paternal grandparents) and TT (for my oldest son.) Once they do the video call, he is happy, but then soon says BYE BYE after he's pointed out various things such as his Mommy, his puppy, and his Daddy. My daughter said today he is moody because of teething and she just wanted him to get through til lunch then nap time. Smile. I sang him Wheels on the Bus. He likes that song. (Me, not so much, but hey - I try.)

Apparently there is a good chance for auroras tonight. During one of my pee trips, I shall check the sky for them (and no doubt break up a gang of raccoons out in the pen as well...) It would be nice to see them. Last time they were active, I could only see them via the camera. Tonight they stated they may be visible without the aid of a cell phone camera. Maybe it will even have an effect on radio signals on Earth. The weekend will go out with a bang. Or, with the majority of other cool celestial events, it will get cloudy here and I'll see nothing at all...

June 15, 2025 - There is a momma nuthatch bringing her two kids to the suet feeder. They won't get on the feeder, mind you, but she shoves their faces full of suet as they perch on the fence. Several momma birds have brought their offspring. The word is out - this old lady feeds birds so take advantage of it, while it lasts!

Nothing new to report. Besides feeding a plethora of wild life (from gigantic crows to the baby squirrels) not much is happening. I can't wait for my kittens. I want chaos in the house! Kittens are so darned silly I will thoroughly enjoy their antics to no end. I will contact the rescue place again tonight - just to check on ETA. Last time I picked out two kittens, she said that they were given away before I laid claim to them and now I worry the same thing will happen with my two tabby kittyies. NO worries. My youngest niece works as a vet tech and they have a batch of kittens. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GETTING KITTENS. I have kitten food, litter, litter box, scratching post, and toys....you name it.

Work is getting more and more intense. I could have worked all weekend on the project, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I did my 'normal' stuff, but I didn't attempt to work on the implementation stuff. I believe I'm broken? Sigh.

I had breakfast with the boys Saturday morning up by where they live at a new place they like. Today we had breakfast at my diner in honor of their Dad. I just got done having my leftovers from Saturday breakfast for my supper tonight. I will have the leftovers from this morning's breakfast for supper tomorrow. Woo Hoo - two days not trying to figure out what to make for supper. I made potato salad last week and had that for lunch and supper for several days, as well as forcing my neighbor to take a ton. It was pretty good, I must say. I do love a good batch of tater salad, precious.

I admired the turn out for No Kings Day yesterday. Impressive. Sometimes I wonder what we could do as a country if we band together like that - we could end hunger and housing issues.

I've been having such vivid dreams lately. One that is sort of a repeater takes place in a huge house I dreamed about a few weeks ago where my parents bought the house from Tom Hanks. It had room after room of stuff in it. There have been dreams lately in the same house, no parents or Tom Hanks, but room after room filled with things. I spend my night going through those rooms. Lovely sets of dishes. Awesome glassware....on and on it goes. I would LOVE to know what my brain is doing. Is it trying to tell me something or is it just showing me a weird movie to entertain me while it sorts stuff out and files things away? Maybe I secretly feel guilty for not doing the whole Swedish Death Cleaning thing (getting rid of stuff you will never use or sell at a garage sale so your kids don't have to deal with it after you pass...) I have no clue what those dreams are about.

Today when my boys were over, there was quite the raucous in the front maple tree and then suddenly a baby squirrel came flying out of the tree. The baby was fine, and scampered right back up, but I would love to have known what that was all about. Plop.

June 22, 2025 - Once again, I need to watch where I walk. I got my two kittens yesterday morning. Chaos once more ensues at my house.

I had brought my oldest son over to spend the night on Friday. His car is non functional, so I ran up to their place and brought him home. We stopped for dinner at Chinese buffet before heading home. The only people in there that early were people older than myself and it was like senior hour to the max. When I mentioned this to my son, he looked at me like, 'Well, are you not a senior yourself' sort of look. Smile. On the way home he also shared some of the music he had been enjoying, and one of the artist was Levi Schechtmann from Germany - a 25 year old pianist that mixes classical piano pieces with some hip hop beats. Oh, my, I fell in love. I was walking on cloud nine when we got back to the house. I love piano music and this was just fricken AWESOME.

When we got home, I finished prepping for the Saturday retrieval of the kittens. I assembled the scratching post. I got their litter box ready. I put out kitten food and filled the water dispenser. I brought down the cat tower I had for Rocko years ago and cleaned it up. I felt ready to welcome two new kittens. I was sweating to death when I was done doing all of that, so I hopped in the shower and then sat in my chair playing my word games until 11:30 because I was getting excited about the new 'kids'... I had tried up to this point to keep an even keel emotion about it in case it fell through again, but after the music high and the prep, I was READY.

Saturday we went to breakfast, then headed to the rescue place that is an hour away. It was a beautiful drive. SO MUCH FARMLAND. I am always PROUD of my state for the wide open fields and the beauty of said wide open fields. When we got to the rescue, she ran out with a carrier. The carrier had a larger orange kitten in it. I looked at her and said, "Weren't there supposed to be two?" She laughed, set the orange one down and ran back in. Seems there were two people picking up kittens at the same time that morning. The orange kitten adopters then pulled in behind us. She brought out my babies. INSTANT LOVE. I signed the paperwork and we put them in our carrier and I let my son drive home and I sat in the back talking to them or playing with them through the door part. They eventually just curled up together and fell asleep for the rest of the ride home. The male only meowed once.

We let them loose near the laundry room where their food and litter box is. They immediately ran the other way. They spent a good hour investigating their surroundings and avoiding myself and my son. I named the male Rishi and the female Bonkers. (So far, Bonkers is appropriate for her, as she is the tactical leader in kitten maneuvers. More aggressive than Rishi when in attack mode, and will come at you on two back legs with her front paws spread wide open in the air.) When they were playing, Rishi ran into the bedroom under the bed. Then that certain cry started - the cry anyone who's had kittens knows well - HE HAD TO POOP. I told my son, HE HAS TO POTTY! My son said, "How do you know what he wants!!" I mentioned the fact I've had MANY kittens through the years, plus I raised three humans and I know the I GOTTA POOP cry. I couldn't get him out from under the bed. We tried everything. He wouldn't come out. Soon, even I, the human who's sense of smell has mostly left me for another face, could tell pooping had occurred. My son confirmed it by dry heaving. I got on my hands and knees and found the location and had my son lift up the bed so I could clean it up. I decided to put another little litter box out in the living room. We also closed the bedroom door and the bathroom door so they were confined to just the laundry room, kitchen, and living room, then I ran my son home. (It was kind of him to accompany his old Mom on the cat outing, but for a 44 year old male, a living room full of kittens isn't necessarily something he wants to spend a day doing...)

When I got home the kittens were happy to see me. Bonkers even took a crap in the litter box to demonstrate her superior intelligence over Rishi. Hahahaha. They had played and played and played. They were getting to know the layout of the living room and could
parkour the heck off of every object. They also found every possible power cord to investigate. It was a laugh filled afternoon. Finally about six, it got quiet, and I think they found a place to sleep behind or under the couch. I went about my normal life routine then, doing dishes and laundry and such. I wanted them to hear the common noises that will happen in the house. By 8:30, I brought in the bird feeders and went to bed. I had looked it up - kittens can sleep 18-20 hours a day. I want to be a kitten more than ever now....

At 1:03 a.m. I was jolted awake up by a kitten chewing my nose and kneading my face. I petted said kitten for a while. The kitten ran all over me, attacking my feet and back to my nose and then crawling under the cover. I wasn't sure who this kitten was, but I was guessing it was Rishi. He seems to be the lover out of the two. He was purring up a storm when he wasn't trying to nurse from my nose. I got up and sat in my chair for an hour. Rishi played. I fell asleep in my chair. Suddenly the TV was on. (He had knocked off the controller by then and had chosen a show on the History channel...) I decided that hey are going to have to get used to me sleeping in my bed, so I went back to bed. Rishi followed me to bed. He played a little, but eventually I felt him snuggle in on my left side. I don't remember anything after that until I had to pee at 6:49 a.m.

So far it has been the Nascat 500 around here this morning. Bonkers ate some dry food. I think I am going to get some wet food this morning to give them. I am not sure what they were eating at the rescue, but heck, life is short. I can give them a little wet food once a day or so. Rishi has knocked over my coffee twice this morning by flying from my chair onto the desk. He has helped me type. He has crawled up on to my shoulder purring loudly and chewed my hair. (Yes, I will start using the cover for my cups...The kids got me cups with covers since I too, have an issue with knocking my cups over. Now I have someone to blame it on at least...)

Let the chaos ensue! Viva wee little kittens who have to get into every possible nook and cranny and jump out at you when you walk by...I have to start getting some pictures to share, but they've been so active, all I get are blurry shots. It hasn't even been 24 hours yet, but I think they like it here. Smile.

Wish me luck!

June 23, 20025 - I am sad, Mickie Ralphs died. He was 81. He was a founding member of the group Bad Company. Why to people have to get old and die!?  Damnit. I mean - I say that about myself, too. It sucks. It just sucks. Husband's die, friends die, family dies, pets die...it is just never ending and it's pissing me off.

The kittens must have slept through the night or they just didn't bother me - besides emergency pee wake ups, I slept all night. They are always happy to see me, though. They already know the sound of a can of food. Hahahaha. I keep dry food out all the time and feed them wet two times a day. This is their big growing stage, so I want to be sure they eat plenty. I see my vet with them on Wednesday after work. Rishi's poor little 'sac' area looks swollen, but I guess mine would too if they clipped my baby making parts. This does NOT slow him down one bit, though. He is more skittish than his sister over noises and such so far...

I went through an issue with him. He was pooping under my desk...so I texted the rescue lady and asked if Rishi was always a free range pooper. She said that the foster Mom kept them in a set area - not that big - so now that he has a whole living room and kitchen and laundry room to run around, he's just not sure where to poop. So I put litter pan #3 under my desk. So far he's used it twice. Victory is mine. He's a private pooper apparently. I would like to state for the record that I should have name him Sir Poops Alot.....

Bonkers is ever the lady, although when it's play time, she can kick Rishi's butt. More dominant in personality, but not all lovey dovey like Rishi is...Rishi climbs right up on my chest and licks my chin with both paws on either side of my face and purrs SO LOUD. He helps me work by walking across the keyboard at random times. I was typing a message to my friend Kathy and he got up there and typed a bunch of letters and such, then walked on the ENTER button and sent it! This made me laugh hard. I made sure to explain to Kathy that I wasn't having a stroke, just having a kitten. Bonkers lets me pick her up and cuddle her and she will purr, but she doesn't seek it out yet. They've taken to sleeping on top of the cat tower I have for them, huddled up together. So adorable.

I wanted to keep notes on when their 'spaz' time is - and so far I've not done it and forgotten, as work has been so busy. I am pretty sure after their nap now, there will be one more burst of NASCAT 500 and then they'll have their last meal of the day and back to sleep. Did I mention that they were abandoned kittens and had to be bottle fed? They were. Maybe that is why they are so good with humans so far. My neighbor Sue came over and they loved her. My mail lady came in and the loved her. They don't seem scared of new people, but like I said - it's only day 2...I can assume a lot of things, can't I?

June 28, 2025 - This morning I woke up with Rishi chewing on my nose. Apparently it was time to wake up and feed the kittens. When I got out of bed, there were six cat toys in bed with me. (If they were up there playing last night, I didn't notice! I had damned awful dreams last night about my husband and my friend Steve. Weird. At least I can say "I see dead people" now...)

The kittens have fully claimed the house as their own. Their NASCAT 500 race path includes all rooms. They make me laugh, that's for sure. They also produce a lot of poop. (But then again, I produce a lot of poop, so I shouldn't criticize!) My friend Grace brought  over her grand kids to meet the kitties and the kittens went right to everyone and played with the kids. The two year old grand son was the most interested in playing with the kitties. It was a riot. Many laughs were had that night. Grace is a very smart woman, so she raised her kids to be smart kids and now the grand kids are super smart for their ages, so when things happened the four year old would ask why, and I had to explain WHY those things happened. She would go quiet and process the info. If she found it funny, she would end up laughing. I had a hoot that night. I swear Grace's grand kids are already smarter than me...Next weekend my grandson will be here (insert happy squeal here) and we will see how he does with kitties. He, too, is smart for his age. The other night when we were on a video call, my daughter gave him something and he said loudly, 'THANK YOU MOMMY!" and hugged her. My heart just melted.

When I mowed the front acre on the 20th, I stopped to check out my morning glories. Usually by now they are going nut up the fence in the dog pen, but there was a lot of green growth but no flowers. I stopped the mower and took a good look. Those were NOT morning glories, they were bindweeds! I got off the mower and pulled them all out. The root system was unreal. Since I did that, the morning glories have taken off big time. We've had torrential rains lately and ungodly heat - the morning glories took this opportunity to go to town as it were. They even have started blooming on the ground for the ones that haven't take hold of the fence yet.

My neighbors Sue and Ron brought me a coconut cream pie from the Amish store and kitty toys for Rishi and Bonkers. One of the toys looks like a long feathered tail on a bird and it make chirping sounds. This is Rishi's favorite toy now. I don't know how many times I have heard a weird noise and wonder what the hell it is and it turns out to be that toy. (I have poor hearing in general - I can't 'locate' a sound like I used to...)  Rishi wraps himself around it and kicks it with his back paws. Pretty cute.

Speaking of noises...when I took out the bird food to hang back up the other morning, I heard this god awful sound and I thought it sounded like someone messing with the siding. It ended up being baby mice who were coming down under the corner piece of the siding there and then they flew out the front of the dog pen. Either Mom kicked 'em out or this is their normal routine to go look for food - and WHERE EXACTLY ARE THEY LIVING IN MY SIDING??  I said to them as they ran, "You just wait - I am raising warriors - your time will come..."

Work is intensifying and if I go quiet for a while - don't panic. Either I'm dead or I am mired with work. They've pushed the 'live' date to OCTOBER. Ugh. So much is happening at once. To think we've been at this for over a year! UGH AGAIN. I get asked on a regular  basis "when are you going to retire" and I can't retire ever, really - at least until this is all over, and really, do I want to retire? Not really. All I've ever done is work. I don't know much else. I do believe I have to call and find out about this whole Medicare thing - I think you are supposed to sign up before you 65th Birthday which is this year for me. I've had not time to investigate this stuff. If any of you have done this and know the routine - please let me know. I want to keep my work insurance while I am working as it is very very good insurance and I checked with HR and they said as long as I'm working I can keep it - or use Medicare as primary and our work insurance as secondary. Why does getting old have to be so complicated, I ask you!

Let's see, house mice, spastic kittens, weeds, and Amazon Rain forest weather ... I think I've covered most things. I am off - breakfast with the boys this a.m. The wee one was supposed to mow all week long - but couldn't due to the rains, and he said he would do it after breakfast this morning, but the yard is so wet - maybe he wont...Current humidity level is 88%. Almost able to do air swimming!

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