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Page last updated on 1/15/24
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2023 ARCHIVE JANUARY FEBRUARY MARCH APRIL MAY JUNE JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER |
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January 2, 2023 - I just found Norman in
on my bed eating a roll of paper towels.
Sigh. Damned kids!! Normally I block the
bedroom off but I forgot this morning.
That will teach me... Apparently I've forgotten a lot. I swore today was TUESDAY. I don't know when I went from thinking yesterday was Sunday to Monday, but it happened. I traveled into the future. I took down the Christmas lights outside. (Kind of miss them now...) I monitored work all day as I was sure it was Monday and my boss said he was ending the month/year on Monday. I even called him later in the day wondering how things were going. He told me he wasn't ending it until this morning. I almost said, "But you said you would end it Monday!" but I didn't. When I went to bed I set my alarm. Duh. We technically have today off from work since it is really Monday but since in my mind I thought this was Tuesday, I was confused as to why no one was working. I should have gotten a clue then, but I didn't. It wasn't until my friend that I share sugar numbers with in the morning said "Have a good day" like she wasn't going to see me at work that I started investigating. Seriously! When did my brain decide to throw me a day ahead? I still feel 'weird' about this. Where am I? Who am I? Hahahaha. I just ran in to the local grocery store to pick up some veggies and coffee creamer. It dawned on me that I've not eaten any vegetables in the last three day. Not good. I will have roasted brussel sprouts for supper tonight. That sounds rather good. It was horrid foggy. I would NOT want to be driving in this (if I didn't know where I was going. I don't know what the hell day it is, but I'm pretty sure of my surroundings as far a roads go!) I suppose I will go check how my boss is doing and enjoy my 'extra' day off. Hahaha. Happy New Year! January 14, 2023 - I had every intention of sleeping in this morning but Rocko the Cat woke up Norman the Dog and things went bad after that. Rocko will get up in my window sill near my head and start scratching to wake me up since he no doubt thinks he's starving to death. Norman hears that and pulls off the top blanket (as he sleeps under that) getting out of bed to come around and be upset about the cat. OR, he will just jump on top of me in bed getting to the window - either/or. When it comes to pets, their humans are pretty much just meat bags with opposable thumbs - hence the lack of respect. This morning will be breakfast with the boys. Last weekend's breakfast was so fun. My daughter and son in law came in last Friday night to surprise her little brother for his 30th Birthday breakfast last Saturday. Then all the kids came over and hung out and we talked and talked and they took Norm out to wear him out by throwing balls for him. It was a good time. My wee one wanted spaghetti pie and hot fudge cake for his Birthday meal that night - so that's what we had. Geez, after Christmas and last weekend, I will miss them all being here. I had lunch with me dear friend Linda on Thursday before she leaves for Florida for a couple of months. It was good to see her. Lately, every time my friend Sharon drives by my house (I work from home in the afternoons) she will call to rub it in that she's retired and I'm working. This makes me laugh when she does that. A good laugh is always welcome. I did some computer work for my brother in law Don this last week too. He got a new laptop for Christmas and sometimes setting those things up is intimidating. I am sure Microsoft tries to make it seem all happy, sunshine, and friendly butterflies, but it IS intimidating. You have to read everything or you may agree to something you really don't want. I tried to clean up his old laptop too. Never hurts to have a back up. Viva technology. When I think back to 1990 or so - I swore I would never use a computer. I said it out loud in front of witnesses, even. Never say never. Now using computers pays my bills. I am glad that I was born in a time without them to begin with, though! I think I would be able to find information the old fashioned way if there is a CME from the sun that took out our power grid. I think I would be able to survive with out power for a time, as well. Some old fashioned knowledge goes a long way. Nowadays I think that they should have a course in schools that teaches the kids how to NOT use computers to survive in the world. The work week went fast and furious which is nice in a way but mentally exhausting. Last night after I ate my supper and Norm ate his, we both fell asleep and it was almost 7 when he woke me up to go outside. Cripes! I slept hard! Nothing exciting is happening in my life right now but I do so appreciate waking up breathing. However, at this time my life is boring and I apologize. We had a weather warm up this last week and it gives one hope for spring, but yesterday the temperatures dropped again and we had spitting snow. My BFF in North Carolina said she had snow during the day there. Mother Nature acts like she's going through menopause and you can never guess what might come next with her. January 18, 2023 - Yesterday, my dear neighbor Ron called me to tell me there was a bald eagle in one of my trees out front. "Come out here!!" he proclaimed. I did. We both walked through the front yards looking for it after it flew from my tree to across the road at Justin's house to one of Ron's trees. I have never EVER seen a bald eagle so close. So majestic! When he flew off he had a fat squirrel in his talons by the squirrels shoulders and off he flew for lunch. I feel bad for the squirrel - but I was so thrilled to see the eagle so close to home!!! When I told my boss he said, "Hmmmm, isn't there a cat you want to get rid of..." Hahahahah... Today was the day I went to get the remains of a molar (that had a root canal) finally pulled out. The crown fell off over a month ago. At my last cleaning my dentist said if it does fall off we were just pulling it. The molar above it was pulled some time ago. Today was the day. I had requested two pills of kolonopin at my last doctor's check up. They don't dole that out very easily anymore thanks to the over use of and over prescribing off these types of drugs for years -it's controlled. I just asked for two pills. It helps my fear in the dentist chair and my dentist keeps all his fingers and items that is in the line of my chomping view. I took one last night before bed and one an hour before my appointment. It is a good relaxing pill for me. I got through the digging and extraction just fine. I have to change the gauze every hour until the bleeding stops. When I got home, I looked in my mouth to see it and noticed I had a lot of blood spatter on my face! Hahahahaha. I cleaned myself up. Blow back....I asked him for a script for penicillin only because the last few weeks I've been impaling food into that area. He agreed. He also wrote a script for Norco. "It's going to hurt once the numbness wears off..." I did take one Motrin and one Norco when I got home (just in case). So far so good.... The instructions they sent home said, "No spitting. No carbonated beverages. No smoking. No exercises. No drinking from a straw. No free falling from a plane at 25000 feet. Eat a light diet (assuming liquid so beer counts, right). Do not sleep on the side of the extraction. Do not stick sharp objects in the hole... (Ok, I made some of those up....) I had gone to the grocery store prior to the dentist this morning because my local store has bulk chicken breast for sale real cheap. I wanted to get two more packs to put in the freezer. Normally on Wednesdays (which is senior discount day - and baby - I qualify) everything like that is gone. I snagged two more large packs! YAY! I may go back every day this week to see if I can get more. I can pay about 18 dollars for six breast normally - but I got these goobers cheap PLUS a discount due to my age. WINNER WINNER. (In case I never mentioned this - Norman eats one chicken breast, a cups of dry food, and a cup of wet food three times a day. Retirement is a long way off to keep that boy in protein.) My poor departed husband keeps getting offers for credit cards. Really? Come on! Today when I was shredding a new one, I thought - "hmmmmmmmmm, I could get this in his name, never pay it, and say - HEY, HE'S DEAD." This made me laugh. Of course I would never do that, but I will admit I pondered about it. So much is spent on sending offers for basically bogus stuff via snail mail. I get mad about it since it is like they are sending me their crap to recycle, but maybe the post office would go bankrupt if said things were not sent... I really need to start the sorting of my husband's items. He saved EVERYTHING. (This did save our butt more than once, though...) So many tools. So many 'things' I have no clue of what they do...My brother in law took all he wanted a while back. The boys don't want any of the tools, nor do the neighbors. So, it has to be done. It's only been ten months - there really is no hurry, but I would like to get that out of the way. Sigh. I foresee a garage sale in my future. January 26, 2023 - I made a huge pot of goulash the other day, and that has been lunch and dinner since then. I gave a ton to my neighbor Justin. He said it was "great" so GOOD!! However, I think I will order pizza tomorrow - this has been enough ground chicken goulash. When I was so sick for those weeks before Christmas, I had no "umph" to go out and play with Norman. He did not understand this. He wanted to PLAY and be HYPER. I found that taking him for a quick trip down the road and back made him happy. Now he has come to expect this EVERY DAY. I work from 5:30 a.m. to four p.m. Starting about 3:45 p.m. he begins crying and bouncing around. He goes to the door, then to my purse, then to me - cries loudly - and repeats this. Lately he's been bringing my my gloves, even. What have I done? I've created a monster. I did take him out for playing and pooping today about 2 p.m. He brought me his ball and I threw it. He went to get it, but he just stood there because he didn't want to pick up the ball (which had collected snow). It was a grand game. Duh. We have had about five inches of heavy, wet snow. I had to take out the garbage to the curb yesterday. The Herby Curby was very heavy. The snow built up on the wheels until there were huge blobs of snow and the tires would not turn. I ended up just dragging it to the road. I am glad I have a lot of upper arm strength!! Oh So Heavy! Norman helped by attacking the snow ball wheels and barking at it (since I was using my sentence enhancers loudly as I dragged the thing) and he knew I wasn't happy so he was helping me by attacking it and barking to defend me. Well, I have a belly full of goulash - again - so I'm off to do dishes and read more of the book I started. Viva Evenings! January 31, 2023 - Already - Time has flown this month. I am not sure why? Yet daily, it doesn't feel like that... being human, at times, is complicated. Maybe not so much complicated as just plain confusing. I was discussing 'things that don't work like they used to' with several of my coworkers that are my age. This just stop working, or work so well they over do it... I think about the time when I was 18 and playing on a local bar's softball team. I said to an older team mate, "Man, I pretty much have life all figured out!" She laughed at me. Now I understand why. You NEVER figure out 'life' - oh, you can pretend. You can be vain and full of yourself and THINK you have it all down, but you don't and never will. Never say NEVER, either. Things change. Getting older is a challenge and we need to seize it with the faculties we have that still work. Rocko the Cat died on Sunday morning. I had just gotten home from breakfast with friends and found him sprawled out on the kitchen floor taking his last breaths. I wrapped him up in his favorite blanket and took him to my chair and petted him as he left this world. Rocko and I didn't always see eye to eye - but he was a cat and I love cats. He would 'play' with Norman in a way. (More of a taunting game, but Norman loved it.) Norman has been looking for him...I promised myself I would not over analyze his death by wondering "what I missed" that might indicate this was coming. Did he choke on Norman's food that was out? He's always had bowel and stomach issues - was it cancer? Sigh. Rocko was my daughter's cat and I inherited him once they got dogs in Chicago. At least here he was not tortured by any dogs attempting to eat him. He got fed well. He got to go outside and be the great white hunter. My BFF scolded me back in July about how I wasn't loving on him enough, so since then I've been giving him attention - a lot. He was getting so he would hang out by my chair so I could reach over and pet him. Just last Wednesday, he jumped up on my desk while I was working and just sat there, all regal. I petted and petted him. (I did not know that he had just gotten a mouse and that is why he was up there - trying to show me this fact - until I dropped my phone and saw the dead mouse. He was praised heavily.) Norman is confused and is acting out - stealing my gloves, items out of my purse, a roll of toilet paper, socks, and anything else within his reach. I get it, Dude. You are confused. I am sure Rocko, who favored my husband over me, is out there hanging with my husband in the Lazy Boy that is the universe. I bet they are watching galactic TV together and talking smack about me... I have my taxes ready to submit, but the IRS is not accepting ones with some of the forms I have to send in. I will wait. I was worried it would be complicated after my husband's passing, but it is not. I worried for nothing. Humans seem to always worry over things that are nothing to worry about. Humans obsess over things out of their control. WHY? It is such a waste of brain power, worrying like that, yet we continue to do over and over again. It has been very cold. I live in Michigan - so - go figure - winter and all. Really, it has not been that bad this winter so far. One "blizzard" which really wasn't a blizzard (in the way I remember past real blizzards). Now we have an arctic patch stuck over us bringing us brrrrrrrrrrrrrr temps. I keep an eye on the heat lamp in the pump house area. Don't need it to freeze up again. Norman 'marches' when he's out in this cold - trying to keep his feet high up as he can. He tries to play with his favorite soccer ball, but it is frozen solid and he won't hold in his mouth very long. Smile. If it warms up, that boy is going to have sooo many zooomies!! February 13, 2023 - I have a word game on my phone I like to play. It relaxes me. However, it is clear that it is done by someone not familiar with North or South America - for example, when I went to the latest level, (it shows a scene with a title at each new level) and the picture was of a mountain and it was titled "RAIN FOREST" and it makes me laugh. (Not out loud, but still it makes me laugh internally.) I did not watch the Super Bowl. As a matter of fact, Norman and I went to bed early last night. I did watch the commercials when I got home from work tonight and I can't say any were spectacular. I did like the Crowdstrike commercial (being in IT an all) and I cried at the Farmer's Dog ad. The red winged black birds are back in force already. They can clean me out of bird food in several hours. I love the songs they sing, but they are pigs and I am pretty sure I complain about their appetite every year. The robins are out in droves. What are they eating??? I can't think there is a plethora of worms available? THE TREES ARE BUDDING!! Way too early for all this!! I have found it funny that since it's been so warm here (in the 40s) you will see many people with their windows cracked open. It doesn't smell like spring yet, but it feels like it with the abundant sunshine and higher temps. Norman has the yard totally turfed up. I can think of it as aerating the lawn, but to be honest, it is total obliteration of all the grass. I am fascinated by all the 'shoot downs' of objects in the sky. I am glad they shot down the Chinese one...I mean - come on. The other three (so far) I am waiting to find out what these things are...How long has this been going on? Probably forever - and I bet the US has balloons all over the place, too. If not balloons, high tech spy drones or bugs outfitted with cameras. Who knows, but we are as big an offender as any other country, but now common man's attention has been focused on it so of course they have to start shooting them down, right? It worries us more than the fact so many people have died in an earth quake in Turkey and Syria. Humans confuse me... Speaking of which, we should be able to see a string of SpaceX satellites tonight. I have yet to see them!! Everyone else I know has seen them. Here I am, little miss I LOVE THE SKY and I've never seen them. I hope I see them tonight! This weekend our little Burg had and IceBURG festival. The boys went with me. It was fun. So many people!! You had to buy a passport to sample the seven different stops that were serving grilled cheese sandwiches and soup. (You got a small sample at each stop.) It was a competition. The place we thought was best won, and I'm glad. I really don't want to see another grilled cheese for a long time now... I couldn't eat at the last stop. Not only was it a winter fest with grilled cheese tasting - but it was also a Social District where you can buy a beer and walk around with it. If anything, we have a lot of local places to buy beer in town. I had a beer and a half. If I drink, I can't eat. If I eat, I can't drink... but I forced myself best I could. Hahahaha. Belch. No need for supper on Saturday night for me! February 19, 2023 - I am not sure what I would have done after my husband died with out Norman the Slobber Machine. I do, however, look forward to a break from the boy in May. Sigh. He is like a very needy 3 year old. I am sure most of that is my fault. I spoiled him to death. I am also looking forward to the 'gentle giant' phase of his life as well. That has yet to surface...he's still a spaz. The coyotes were going NUTS the other night. I had stayed up late reading, and didn't go to bed until 10:30 p.m. (WAY past my bedtime!) I asked Norman over and over if he had to go potty before we went to bed. He did not. It was only a few minutes later when I found the perfect spot and was drifting off that he boops my nose after drinking and asks to go out. Sigh. I let him out at 10:50 p.m. He began having a fit towards the back of the dog pen. I got on my shoes and coat and stepped out. I am pretty sure I heard my neighbor to the north yelling at his dogs, so I knew why Norm was having a fit, but then, across the road to the West, was a LOUD cacophony of coyote yips, howls, barks, and calls general coyote chaos. LOUD! Norman was not barking at that, but he was perplexed. I listened to them for a while and heard dogs down the next street howling their full heads off and decided it was creepy and we came in. I told my neighbors that I locked all the possible locks on my doors after that and my younger neighbor said, "I'm pretty sure coyotes have not mastered the art of door knobs..." which made me laugh. Today my nieces come over for lunch and to hang out for a bit. That will be fun. I am off to order pizza on line for us to consume in mass quantities... February 20, 2023 - The weekend was a hoot. I didn't think I needed visitors, but I sure feel uplifted by their visits! My sister in law came on Saturday and I always enjoy visits from her. It is nice of her to come all the way up here from her home (an hour drive!) to visit since I can't haul Norman down to her place. We ended up watching two "Blue Planet" episodes about the ocean and it was so fascinating. We had so much fun watching them, I ordered her the DVD series to be delivered to her this week. She gets terrible TV reception at her place and watches a lot of DVDs. Yesterday my nieces came over and THAT was a hoot. We ate pizza and my oldest niece made lemon bars. (My sugar count sucked this morning to say the least.) My youngest niece brought her newest dog, JoJo, and JoJo is a sweet little doggie. Her and Norman did better together this time - not so much parkouring off the furniture as last time. It was a nice few hours and I thank them all profoundly for the emotional uplift they gave me. When they were leaving I bent down to pick up something and saw HOW DUSTY MY SHELVES WERE and I felt ashamed. With my finger I wrote "HELP" on the one shelf. This is why I enjoy 'darker' days as opposed to sunny days - darker days don't show the dust. My daffodils are popping up. My BFF said hers were a while ago. Mother Nature is off her meds, for sure, and I am sure trees and plants are confused all to heck. The Earth has survived for a LONG TIME so I know it will manage, but it throws us parasite humans off a bit, for sure. When I went out to feed the birdies yesterday morning, I stubbed all my toes on my right foot on the wall when shoving my foot in my shoe. The pain! YIKES! "Why does it hurt so much!?!!?" I asked Norman (along with some swear words) as I doubled up and was trying to mentally will the pain away. It wasn't just my big toe, it was all of them except the wee little one. Ouch. Norman was no help during this episode as he wanted out and my fat body which was contorted up with pain was in his way. I looked it up afterwards to see if this reaction to a full frontal foot impact was an 'age' thing, and it turns out it is a 'human' thing. Of course it's going to hurt. Maybe it is time to get steel toed shoes and wear them constantly. I have taken a LOT OF PAIN in my life, and normally I can handle it - but four toes signalling the brain at once that they've been hurt WAS BAD and I would like to avoid that going forward. Sigh. Norman also nailed my left knee with his immense and powerful stupid body and THAT is bruised this morning. I am the only person I know that can feel like they were in a street fight without leaving the house. February 28, 2023 - Happy Last Day of February. Thank goodness. Who gives a month a name like FebRUary, anyway? It's not a phonically sound word. Tomorrow would have been our 43rd wedding anniversary. I think I'll be OK. I won't dwell on it and I have plenty to do around the house to keep my mind busy. I've started painting rocks again and that is very engrossing for me. On March 20th it will be one year since he shuffled off this mortal coil. I have my cancer check up tomorrow and I hope they tell me I can go every year as opposed to every six months, but we'll see. I have a new doctor this time - the one I had left - so it will be a new pair of hands on my boobs. I feel so vampy. Once they do surgery on a spot like a breast, self checks are pointless because they sever a ton of nerves and I can't tell what I'm feeling, plus there is scar tissue in there - it's best if a professional grabs a hold and checks it. Last Wednesday night we had an ice storm. Thursday morning it was so damned pretty when cars went by - the trees GLOWED. (I know people were without power and they could care less how pretty the trees were when they don't have heat and they are losing their food in fridge and freezer and there is a tree through their roof...) I was fortunate and did not lose power and I felt blessed. If I had a big house, I would have invited the world to move in while they fixed the power. It sounded like a gigantic bowl of Rice Krispies outside when there was a breeze. By Thursday afternoon it was warming up and the ice was falling from trees and power lines and there were diamond piles of ice chunks. This pleased Norman as he like a good ice cube to chomp on... I think this weekend when the boys come I will do a test run on starting my generator. It's been over a year since the thing has been started and having a generator is worthless if you can't get it started after all... Happy Last day of Feb RU ary. Welcome one syllable MARCH. March 5, 2023 - I discovered last night how one can tell if there is too much peanut butter on a peanut butter banana sandwich - You choke on it. I got a good blob of peanut butter stuck on the back on my throat, and my throat decided I needed to die due to blockage. As I tried to remain calm and get it to move, I was thinking, "Well, It's been a good life" and "At least I dressed when when the coroner comes..." I managed to get it cleared and after I composed myself, started taking smaller bites going forward. I was amazed at how calm I was during the even as I seriously thought IT WAS THE END. I never wanted to die for peanut butter, though. I would hope I would die choking on chocolate - if food was going to kill me... Yesterday my boys came for lunch instead of breakfast. We at our our diner and had chili cheese dogs. Yum. (I burped those up the rest of the day, though. I suppose chewing better would have helped.) We had 5+ inches of snow Friday night, and we postponed our breakfast date until the roads got cleared off. Snow came down fast and furious Friday night. Whenever Norman would go out and come back in, he was covered in heavy, wet snow. It just drenched him. (I considered it was a nice way to give in a bath, sort of...) My plow people came in the morning so I was able to get out! Hurray! When the boys came here after lunch, I was complaining about the fact I noticed how dusty/dirty my upper cabinets were and I should clean them. My youngest said, "Who are you cleaning for, anyway, Mom?" He's right - I don't have to clean them or anything, if I don't want. However, this morning I decided I had to get off my fat butt and do some pre-spring cleaning nonetheless. I have the curtains in the washer as I type. I will soon go out and clean those cupboards off. Mind you, I won't get crazy. This house is constantly dusty and dirty and there is NO WAY I could make a perfectly clean home out of this place. The cabinets are bugging me, though - so I will do that at least. One must remember that I also have a Great Dane in the house who has goobered up every piece of furniture and well I own. THAT is the biggest battle on a daily basis. I can sweep every day and have a full canister from the debris he kicks up or drops off. Sigh. I cleaned off the slobber blob throw offs on TV this morning, too. When he shakes his head, he can splatter the ceiling as well. (But what would I have done without Norman the last year?) First two cupboard doors are done. Good Lord - I've destroyed the ecosystem of enough spider webs to alter the course of history! So much DIRT! Ugh. I've made myself a glass of decaf iced tea and will type a bit. Take it slow and easy, right? But, damn. SO DIRTY! UGH! Norma is outside keeping an eye on the neighbor who is selling a trailer he has. I hope they take it for my neighbor's sake. Norman is just watching to be sure the deal goes down proper like... It dawned on me that I've not done 'spring cleaning' in three years!! I was too busy taking care of my husband and working. I didn't even think about cleaning. Sigh. I like the dark winter months since I can't see the horrid mess I've let my house become. This sunny day stuff...ugh. I've hung the curtains back up and finished the upper cabinets. When I was up on the step ladder doing the upper cupboards, I opened the two tall smaller cabinets that I keep my spices in above the stove. They are tall. I am not. GOODNESS!! There was a corn meal carton explosion at some point - cornmeal everywhere! A month or so ago I bought two boxes of stick matches because I thought mine were gone. NO! THEY WERE JUST SHOVED BACK! I now have seven boxes of wooden stick matches! I cleaned out those shelves and sorted my spices. Hold me back - THE EXCITEMENT OF REALIZING YOU HAVE THREE CONTAINERS OF CHILI POWDER!! If you ask me, that is enough excitement for the day. I see more and more dirt, but I'm not going to go nuts. I am going to make myself a chicken club sandwich and plop my butt down. I've smashed my toes into the step ladder four times. Duh. You get so 'set' in your mind where things are in your house that when something is out of place, you WILL trip on it. I sure hope it isn't windy on recycle day this week! I've not taken my recycling herby curby out for a month. I have no urge to chase down the containers and boxes that blow all over the greater tri-state area after that container blows over, and the last two times it was recycle day it was very windy. My poor recycle bin is full. March 12, 2023 - I went to breakfast with the boys yesterday morning. I always have a hoot with the boys. They came back here and played with Norman for a bit. Norman loves his big brothers so much. He will attempt to fuse himself with them by pressing hard against them, practically knocking them over. After the boys left I painted rocks. I was in the mood. I had pizza for supper. It was an OK day. This morning, though - Ugh, I woke up so angry. I set my clocks ahead last night so I didn't go to bed until the 'new' midnight, and Norm let me sleep in to the new six a.m. I got up, let him out, and after he went potty I went back to bed. He came back to bed with me. We slept in until 9:15 a.m. We all get the way from time to time - moody/angry. I was angry because Norman was following me constantly all morning. I couldn't go anywhere without him flanking me. He wouldn't eat his breakfast, either, and I was angry about that. After I did my on line work for work, I decided to go to the store. (The whole time I was working Norman was looming over me with his slobbery toys trying to get me to play.) I put him in his crate and went to the store. I spent a good hour just walking around Meijer, looking at things. I read a few labels. I picked up new bathroom rugs that matched. I got other things I wanted/needed. I got Norman a new soccer ball because my neighbor kicked his old one and got it lodged in a tree. (It was funny when he did that, really. That ball isn't coming down anytime soon.) My younger neighbor is nice to play with Norman from time to time. His dogs won't play with Norman because Norman is so BIG and forceful they avoid him like the plague so he doesn't get doggie play time there and he normally can't play with Gertie since gets her all slobbered up from drool and dirty since when Norman plays, he kicks up mud like a tractor on acid. This only leaves humans to entertain the boy. He lacks imagination play on his own. When I got home, Norman found the ball in the bag in the back of the car and dragged it off before I even gave it to him. Sigh. (This is all my fault. He thinks it is all about HIM. I enabled this his whole life. I have no one to blame but myself.) I brought in the rest of the bags and let him go out and I played ball with him for a bit. He LOVES this one brand of soccer ball. He had a good time chasing it and hauling it back. I came in and did some laundry, but I did it angry like. I knew why I was angry by then, I had figured it out at the store. I cannot change the things that were making me mad so I know being mad was stupid, but it didn't stop the anger knowing that. I was also mad because the water pressure was crappy the last few days. I was mad because there is always DUST everywhere in my house. I got mad because I was mad. Sigh. My sister in law called me and I vented all over her, and felt MUCH BETTER afterwards. That call kind of kicked me out of the 'anger' mode I was in. I decided to calm the heck down and go change the water filter upstairs to see that that would help the water pressure. (Nothing about this house is 'normal' or right. Who ever piped in the water here piped it up the wall and through the attic and to a water filter before it comes down to use. I don't have any water softener and the water in this area is just awful - full of rust. I have been trying to change the water filter once a month at least and I had just changed it two weeks ago, but at this point I was ready to try anything.) I caught a mouse upstairs two days ago. With Rocko the Cat gone, I noticed signs up there of mouse occupancy. There was a paper towel that had nibbles out of it. I didn't see any mouse poop, but you just KNOW they are there if you live in the country. You develop a six mouse sense. So I set two more traps last night and low and behold, both had a mouse in them! I took care of the bodies and changed the water filter. IT WAS GROSS. So SO SO SO much rust. After that was done, the water pressure was much better. Here I was mad about that when I had the power to fix it all along. Sigh. Tonight I am not angry anymore and my tizzy fit is over, thank goodness. It wasn't a self pity sort of anger. Tonight I thought to myself that maybe it was more loneliness than anger, but I have tons of people I can go see and visit if I choose. I don't have to be lonely so I don't think it was that. Maybe I'm just human and sometimes things like that just happen. Tomorrow early I go for a blood draw before my quarterly sugar check up at my doctor. I schedule the blood draws for as early as possible since it cuts in to my coffee consumption time by fasting. A new week is ahead. It is all uphill from here, right? March 18, 2023 - So
last night I went to my first pottery class and made
a lopsided bowl. I went with my friend Lisa who
received a gift card for two people from her husband
at Christmas and she shared the experience with me.
I though, "Well, why not go" so I went. Playing with
clay is always fun - hearkening back to our
childhood days and Play Doh and all...
So I went, came home, put dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on and then played with Norman and then I dozed in my chair. I woke up about 10 p.m. "Might as well go to bed..." I told Norman. I walk into the kitchen and it is all HAZY. My first thought - SMOKE! I turned off the dishwasher. I couldn't really smell anything - I haven't been able to smell a lot since radiation - but I swore I smelled something odd. I got a little fan and turned it on pointing to the ceiling of the kitchen. There was a haze EVERYWHERE. I opened the back door to air out the house. Norman was following me very confused. No alarms were going off, but I was panicking a little. I texted my 42 year old neighbor and said "Are you awake" and he texted back "Yep" and I said "I think my house is full of smoke, wanna come check it out?" and then he called. He said, "Are you drinking
or doing the wacky weed?" I told him no, I was just
napping in my chair. He said, "Are any smoke alarms
going off?" I said no, I just see a haze everywhere.
He said, "If no alarms are going off, I'm pretty sure
it is OK. Turn a fan on" and I said I did. He was at a
friend's house drinking but said if I called him he
could come down to the house if need be. (He was down
the road at a friend's house.)
After I hung up I decided I
had to calm myself down. My thought, after all, that
was when my right eye cataract got bad, it was
immediate. (I was driving home from work and thought
someone was burning a wood pile, all was so smokey
looking). Considering that, I tried to convince myself
it was most likely a cataract going wild. I went in to
the bathroom and rinsed my eyes out and got a cold rag
and sat in my chair with the cold rag on my eyes for a
bit trying to calm myself down. I also took my blood
pressure and used my oxygen / heart rate thingy to
check vitals. I was fine there.
After a few minutes I got up
and turned on the kitchen light and it was still
'hazy'. Sigh. I went in and used my allergy eye drops.
Decided to go to bed. I also took two Benadryl to
assist in the calming process. Norman cuddled up right
next to me as I assume he knew I was feeling distress.
Eventually I fell asleep.
This morning I am fine. No
'smoke' in the kitchen. Sigh. So, my assumption about
all of that panic boiled down to the fact I GOT SOME
CLAY IN MY EYE. I washed my hands at the pottery place
when I was cleaning up the pottery tools, but
not with soap, so when I came home and was doing
stuff, no doubt I rubbed some in my eye. Sigh. Do I
know how to party on a Friday night or WHAT?
March 19, 2023 - Tomorrow is the first anniversary of my husband's passing. I can't believe it's been a year already. Sigh. I honestly don't know how I'm feeling. I mean, I don't feel 'bad' or 'upset' but I just maybe don't feel anything? I am sure it will hit me sooner than later. I took tomorrow off to do some things I wanted to do - get my hair played with and such. Then I have dinner with my high school girlfriends after that. I won't be alone. Norman will be all out of sorts since I will be gone a lot and he'll be crated. (If I thought he wouldn't break through a window to get out and follow me down the drive way, I'd let him stay out of the crate.) I had my quarterly sugar check up on Friday afternoon and my blood work was really good - except for the A1C level. It had shot up. I told him I kind of gave up the last month on watching what I shoved in my mouth. He said it was understandable considering the circumstance but now it's time to get back on track. He was very kind to me, but stern, too. I needed the 'stern' part. Easy to lose track of things when you are full of self pity and odd emotions. My youngest son got in to his first car accident on Thursday. I got a call at work and he said, 'Mom, I need you..." and I can't believe how fast I was out of that building on the way to him. That is a gut instinct, I think, when your kids say they need you - even if they are adults. I got up to the accident scene and the poor dude was just a piece of adrenaline. After the tow truck driver got instructions where to take the dead car and the officer gave my son his ticket, I asked him if he wanted to come home with me after going to get his dog and he could spend the night at my place. He said, "No, the adrenaline is wearing off - I feel sick...I just want to go home." The boys and I went car shopping on Saturday because my youngest needs a car to work. He is picking up his new ride on Monday. I think I am off to paint some innocent rocks...seems like a good thing to do a cold Sunday afternoon. March 24, 2023 - I've had bright red hands and tingling in my hands (like an allergic reaction tingling) since the first of March. I was going to mention it to my family doctor when I went last week, but I totally forgot. I wasn't sure what I was reacting to, but I was reacting. So last night when I sat down to eat supper, I took one bite of my salad and one bite of my hamburger and BAM - my upper lip was numb and when I looked in the mirror it looked like I had an overdose of botox. Upper Duck Lip. The right side of my face was swollen too. I noticed my hands were especially irritated and my upper arms were now tingling in a reactive sort of way. I broke out in to a cold sweat. I took two Benadryl, because I was afraid maybe my throat would swell up too. You hear all your life about paying attention to possible heart attack signs, but was this THAT? I argued with myself for a few minutes. I was weak and dizzy. I decided to call an ambulance. I've always wanted to ride in one. (Just for the record, I'll never say that again - they ride like a buck board wagon and it feels like you are going to fall off the gurney at every turn...I hope the next time I have to ride in one they have me on morphine and I'm unconscious.) But I digress...I called for an ambulance, then called my son to come over and baby sit Norman, then texted my neighbor to tell him not to freak out, but I called an ambulance because I wasn't sure what the hell was going on with me. HE WAS AT MY DOOR SO FAST. He is a gem, that Justin. He came in and talked to me and Norman when two local volunteers came. They asked various questions (to see if I was having a stroke). Then the EMS team showed up. In my little living room were six people. Norman was having a fit. QUIT TOUCHING MY MOM!! The one EMS lady was hooking me up to get my blood pressure and monitor my heart beat. They asked me "Did you know you have an irregular heart beat?" I told them since my radiation I've dealt with PAC (pre-firing of the heart) and the dude said, "This isn't PAC type beats..." Then he EMS dude was asking me about my medications and symptoms. First my blood pressure was super low. Then it was super high. They even tested my sugar to be sure, and that was fine. I explain what was going on in as much detail that I could, and I finally said, "Well, is this just a scare of some sort or should I go to the hospital?" The male EMS dude said he would suggest we go up. So up we went. I said, "Since it appears I'm not immediately dying, do you REALLY need to use lights and sirens??" and they said they would not. This made me happier. They inserted an IV in case they needed to use it. The female drove and the male asked more questions. Then he radioed the ER room to tell them we were en route. I asked questions about being an EMS person and questions about the ambulance. We had a nice chat. He told me my blood pressure medicine I was taking was known to cause this type of reaction sometimes. When we got to my hospital of choice they rolled me in to 'Trauma Room B'. There were six nurses in there!! I said right away, "I don't think I need a trauma room, really - I'm hogging space from someone who may really need it!!" They said I was fine, it was a 'slow' night and there were really no other rooms. They hooked me up to monitors and took an EKG. "Did you know you have an irregular heart beat?" I laughed. Second time someone asked me that, so I'm going to assume I have an irregular heart beat. I went through all my symptoms AGAIN. I had a mild temp, too. Did you know they have RFID tags to stick on you for an EKG - they don't even have to use wires anymore! I was just amazed. (And I went home to like 20 little sticky things all over my body, under my boobs, on my feet, etc. Thought I got them all off last night but found two more this morning on my left and right side!) The supervising doctor came in and asked me questions. Then he left. Another doctor came in and said they wanted to give me a shot of steroids to help reduce the swelling. (Might as well get some use out of that IV hole, right?) After a couple of hours they said I could go home. I called my son to come pick me up. That poor dude was all worried. He had talked to my oldest son and had him all worried. I prayed they wouldn't call their sister and they didn't. They didn't want her to had a seizure over me unless it was warranted. It wasn't a heart attack. I am glad. Still no one told me why I had such a god awful swelling reaction, though. I see my family doctor on Monday and will insist on tests and answers. My family doctor did contact me and told me to STOP taking the blood pressure medicine he put me on in December. (I had already decided that after the EMS dude told me it could cause duck lip explosions.) When I tested my blood this morning it was 177!! Holy Crap. So I looked up steroids and sure enough, they up your blood sugar. Dear Lord. So, if bad things come in threes, I think I'm done. First the panic attack over thinking there was smoke in my house when in reality I just rubbed pottery clay in my eye. Then my youngest son's accident where I played it all cool and was calm for him, but I know inside I was freaking out about the fact he could have been really hurt. Then last night's duck lip / fake heart attack ordeal. Sigh. When I see my doctor on Monday we are going to discuss getting me an anti anxiety drug for times like those, I swear. I also ordered a water testing kit for the house to see if there is something in my water that could be causing this allergic reaction. I made of list of all the things I have and have not changed in my daily routines. I want to be prepared to ask the right questions and get some help and Monday. I also emailed my therapist to get in with her as soon as she has an opening. Either I'm losing my mind, dying of a rare disease, or need therapy and a good Xanax. I am pretty sure it's the latter. Sigh. Being human is stupid. I've done SO GOOD this last year after losing my husband and I did SO GOOD during taking care of him for three years. Maybe it's all finally caught up with me. Maybe Sandy isn't super woman after all. I'll have to get a new costume for Halloween now, I suppose... March 27, 2023 - Followed up with my family doctor today and cried all over him and he said it was coming...Cried all over my therapist and she said it was coming. I got broken. It happens. After reviewing all I've been through since late 2018, it's amazing I made it this far. I won't complain. However, my brain said on Thursday night, "Nope! I'm done - This allergic reaction is IT! I'm outta here" and my body walked out in unity as it flipped me off. My doctor said my EKG in the ER was great. ("But they told me my heartbeat was irregular!" I said...) He said my blood work a week or so ago was also good, so he wasn't too concerned about my 'health' per say (except the high blood pressure) but he was concerned about 'me' ...so, he changed my blood pressure medicine so I don't get duck lips again. Maybe. (This stuff can have the same allergic reaction to it...we'll see.) The only way to lower you blood pressure is to lose weight and move more. This is now a goal - but I will do is slowly. He also prescribed me an anti-anxiety drug (not a lot - just some in case) to help over the bumpy parts of life coming up and he upped my anti-depression medicine. I am not keen on that last one. The dose I've taken for years seems to be OK. I just had a 'break down' from carrying so much for so long. As everyone told me today, "This took long enough..." so everyone knew it would happen except me. My therapist let me babble on and she comforted me. "Time for you..." she said, "You have to heal, too." I am not as strong as I thought I was... Wait, not true. For 4.5 years I carried the load of being a caregiver and nurse and working full time and doing everything around the house and being the transportation and being the "Up" person so others did not get too down. I AM as strong as I thought, but eventually things have to 'break' to know you need to regroup and carry on. So, I will left foot - right foot it and carry on. It's OK to cry and be weepy. I have not been for a long long time. Now I will leak when I need to and let it out. (Leaking for me works on so many levels due to my over achieving bladder and all...) April 1, 2023 - March went
out like a lion. Last night was a bad night for Norman
due to the thunder boomers and lightening. I love
thunderstorms (withing reason, of course) and wanted
so badly to just go to bed and sleep, but he was up
and down and standing next to the bed and was very
restless. Sigh. I know he had to go potty before bed,
but he refused to go out in the driving rain and
thunderstorm. I was grateful at 1 a.m. when he woke me
up that the storms had passed and he could go out and
pee for 20 minutes and take a pooh. Down south they
got hit badly, so I am not complaining about the
weather. May 7, 2023 -
Ugh, reading the news is sad. I wonder why
people think it's OK to randomly shoot other
humans? Don't they know they will either be
shot/killed themselves or spend the rest of
their lives in jail and if they WANT to die by
cop as it were, why can't they just pursue
this solo and not take other people with
them?? THIS CONFUSES ME. Do they want to
make people to be too scared to leave their
homes? What satisfaction is there for killing
other humans? I want to understand what is in
their heads (but you can't, because most
likely their heads get blown off by the police
for doing something so horrid). I feel like
humanity is nearing its end sometimes...What
is wrong with you people??? June 2, 2023
- Already Friday and the 2nd of June!!
It has been 90 or over for a few days
in a row now. There was no official
'spring' as it was either too cold or
hot and now it's dry and hot. WE need
RAIN. Norman might drool a lot, but
not enough to help the grass and the
flowers. I am grateful the air
conditioner works. July 8, 2023 - It has been
a long seven
days. On
Saturday when
I met the kids
for breakfast,
they surprised
me by
announcing
they were
three months+
pregnant. I
was so happy.
I cried. After
breakfast we
went to get
donuts then
went up to
Riverstreet
Flowerland to
hang out for a
while. It is
so peaceful in
there. They
play they same
kind of
peaceful music
they play in
the cancer
center, but I
must admit it
goes much
better when
cruising
through
flowers. Even
the boys
tagged along. August 5, 2023 - When your
family history
includes a ton
of people with
dementia, and
as you get
older, every
time you do
something
weird or
forget
something one
just assumes
you are going
that path too.
Several times
this week I
would tell
co-workers I
was having a
stroke (to be
funny) but I
would
miscalculate
things and get
numbers
screwed up.
This upset me.
By no means am
I a genius but
I am not a
stupid person.
(Oh, sure -
about some
things I am -
we all are...)
Just that tiny
fear that in
the back of my
mind there is
the dementia
creature -
waiting and
thunking my
brain with its
forefinger and
thumb -
taunting me -
and I always
wonder how
long before I
have to start
using sticky
notes to
remember to
flush the
toilet or
close the
fridge or feed
the dog. Sigh.
My Grandpa (my
Mom's father)
had it bad and
would wander
off from their
farm. My Mom
had it bad. My
sister was
diagnosed with
Lewy Body
Dementia... September 2, 2023 - Happy September!! Man, time
if just flying
by in my
mind...as I
always say,
feels like I'm
pullin' Gs... October 11, 2023 - I have been having so much
trouble being
motivated. I
don't want to
clean or cook
or move.
Example from
tonight -
after work I
played with
Norman but
then came in
and I wanted
to just plop
in a chair and
be tired.
However, there
was a load in
the dryer to
fold and a
load in the
washer to
wash, and I
had to eat
supper, and I
had to do
dishes, and
Lord knows the
floor needed
sweeping. I
took the house
garbage out to
Herby Curby -
then took
Herby to the
road. I baked
Norman's
chicken for
the next few
days meals.
The whole
while I am
literally
arguing with
my own brain
about it all.
I had to FORCE
myself to do
these things.
WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH
ME?!?!?
I think we all
have those
moments where
you want to
curl up and
hide from the
world. Those
moments for me
keep
increasing. I
am going to
have to go to
therapy or
just get my
head out of
butt. Sigh. Too funny not to share… I just got a Samsung Watch6 that keeps track of all my health things. I thought that was a good idea, seeing as I forget to move sometimes, and I wanted to see how much sleep I was getting, etc. This watch is “learning” me and I am getting used to wearing a watch again. Tonight, my youngest son was kind enough to go with me to a local bar to see my favorite local band, Uncle Charlie. I love them. They rock. I started ‘dancing’ in my chair when they started playing music, and I happened to glance at my watch and the watch said, “WE’VE DETECTED A HARD FALL, SEND SOS??” and it had a red circle with a phone symbol on it. I showed my son. “What the hell?” We both started laughing so hard. Just because I moved after 6 P.M., my watch assumed I had fallen and couldn’t get up. “What do I do?!” I asked my son. He scrolled down on the watch to where it said “I didn’t fall” and we hit that. It gave me a second chance to send an SOS call. HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Seriously, I am grateful I have a watch that may or may not know when I actually have a HARD FALL, but come on, I was just groovin’ to the music! Hahahahaha. This just shows me I must groove more often! We must dance every chance we get! I will laugh about this for a good long time! October 14, 2023 - The other day at work when I was talking to my friend and coworker (and not even using my hands to talk) my watch once again offered to call for help because it detected I fell. "I didn't even move!" I proclaimed and we laughed. Today my youngest showed me how to turn off fall alert. Phew. My BFF and I were talking last night about this issue, and she said, "I wonder if it would really know IF you fell for real?" and I was thinking that it thinks I fall when I am sitting still - I doubt it would be much help when I really did fall. It would probably give me that message, "Time to start Moving!!" Plus, I do not want to take a nose dive just to test this out...I will pray when I do fall it will be in public and someone will attempt to help or call someone for me. Smile. Side thoughts - My poor Mom had such a fear of falling in public. I never knew why. She had a terrible fear of falling in general now that I ponder it... We all have weird fears. It would have been nice to know why she feared falling so much. She also was terrified of driving and refused to learn to drive. I think she was quite happy when her kids got old enough to drive, to be honest. Dad was not one to just hop in the car and go anywhere unless he had to.... October 15, 2023 - Wonder Buns Norman and his Tail of Death knocked a full cup of coffee with creamer all over my desk with his tail of destruction and now half my keys stick on my keyboard. If I type like I'm having a stroke, don't panic - it's most likely just Natural Bliss Vanilla stickiness... I got to have dinner with my good friend Judie last night and it was grand. We laughed. She is the person who trained me when I got in to the computer department back in 19 aught 92 or so...She was always called little Judie because our boss was Judy (so she was big Judy) and we had a good team. Judie left when our boss got to be a tad too much and I didn't blame her one bit. (I've worked at that place since 1979 and some events are starting to get fuzzy and compressed so actual dates elude me.) When we met at the restaurant the only thing missing was Big Judy and we mentioned that, and out of the blue she called!!! (I missed her call because I couldn't hear the phone in the restaurant, but when I got my phone out to show Judie pics we saw she had called and we laughed and laughed. Somewhere in the fiber of life, we're all connected some how...) I must say, I have the most awesome of friends. How lucky am I? Blessed, I would say - I'm blessed. I had big plans to sleep as long as I could today. I didn't have a reason to get up but Norman intervened. Apparently 6:30 is the max around here. My bladder was grateful, mind you - but I miss the joy of uninterrupted sleep. Listen to me whine...poor Sandy has a warm bed and a loving dog and a warm house and she can't sleep in....call a waaaaambluance. I made up bags of mouse repellent the other day. (Saw it on the interweb.) I got cinnamon sticks, star anise, whole cloves, and very potent red pepper flakes. I made the first five bags on my desk. Dumb idea. My lips burned for two hours and I sneezed for one hour. My sinuses dumped all their content down the back of my throat. The red pepper flakes are small little snot motivators. When I made some up for the boys to take home, I did it out in the kitchen and wore appropriate protection. I think I should keep a bottle of red pepper flakes near my bed in case the house is broken into. Just throw a handful into someone eyes (and then offer them a hanky while I call 911)... October 28, 2023 - Cripes - time has flown! I have not updated in a while. For the three people that read this blog - I'm sorry. I even slept until 8:30 a.m. today!! Unheard of!! I have been debating the whole falling leaves issue and I've researched it a ton...leaving the leaves help the trees and the yard. I will just mulch up a bit what has fallen as they fall. I will at least be at peace with myself. Plus, if I wait until November the winds will blow most of them out back, anyway. The kids were here last weekend for the Birthday Bonfire weekend. It was a hoot. My kids entertain me. I have been having some depression as of late, so I was a bit quieter than normal, but just having the kids home for a few days lifted my spirits. My daughter is scheduled for a C-section on December 12th, and this brings me joy. A grandbaby!! The kids decided that we will have Thanksgiving here and then the next day we'll have Christmas, since my daughter will be busy being a new Mom on Christmas. That is fine by me! Norman ate a roll of toilet paper yesterday while I was working. He was acting out. Sigh. He at least brought me the soggy roll, like he was confessing. "Here, I partially chewed this new roll of toilet paper - I bring it to you with love. Plus, can you pull the stuff stuck in my mouth out??" More later I think - right now I have chores to do! OK, to finish my thoughts... This last week there were several warm sunny days. This brought on an invasion of lady bugs and box elder bugs. SO MANY!!! They were bouncing off the sunny side of the house like crazy. You couldn't open your mouth when outside lest you suck up a bug. I used soapy water to spray on the box elders, but after looking up lady bugs vs Japanese beetles, I left the real lady bugs alone. They eat aphids. My luck God is a box elder bug... I also bought myself a new washer. I know I just did that a year and a half ago, but I broke that one. (I tried to wash comforters in it and it was just too much for the poor thing.) The cost to fix it was almost a new washer in itself. It stopped working on most modes and then when it would wash on 'normal' it would wash, then wash again and quit. I got myself a higher priced Whirlpool that has a big washing tub. I washed two comforters to see if I could break it. Nope, it worked just fine. I also got a three year extended warranty. I was always against extended warranties because you would think the manufacturer would want to make a good product in the first place, but it seems not. Ugh. What seems weird is now that I have a bigger tub, I only have to do a load every other day or so instead of two a day to keep up with Norman's drool rags. It just feels ODD. hahahaha. Listen to me feel sorry for myself that I am not doing a million loads of laundry a day...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa My sister in law is visiting tomorrow. I love to have her come up. I feel bad she has to come all the way up here, but she only has a little doggie as opposed to my Norman. I didn't see the boys this weekend because my youngest is sick and they didn't want to make me sick. However, my ears HAVE been hurting, so maybe I have something already - who knows. Covid ears? hahahaha I did order more testing kids fro the government site in case. Not sure why? I did get my covid booster and my flu shot and I got an updated DTaP shot. (I was long over due for that one.) Gots to be cootie free when my grandson gets here per my daughter. Smile. Since we know the sex of the baby, they are NOT telling us the name of the baby. The refer to him as Grogu. Her baby shower was a Grogu theme. Since she doesn't tell me the name, I started guessing and the guessing has gotten out of hand. I keep adding names to it and here is where we're at now: Grogu Gibson Reginald Portabella Wilbur Wolfgang Xavier Zabadoo Heathcliff PeeWee Hortense Doodles Zanzibar Flibbertigibbet Dingleberry Sassacus Cuddle Bug Leonard Gigi TikiHut John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Hornblower Zoolander Stampie Cricket Hullabaloo Bumbershoot Erf Rasputin Katzenjammer Hornswoggle Jitterbug Diphthong Whippersnapper Denucci Klondike Calico Balderdash Peg Pelvis Pete Brouhaha My Mom’s a Spaz... November 5, 2023 - I just got to see the ISS fly over. I stared at it thinking how cool it would be to be up there seeing the Earth from that perspective, and they are probably looking down thinking, "We're so glad we're not down there on that crazy, lunatic filled ball of blue..." I have a 'half' cold and have all week. I have bouts of sneezing. My ears hurt. My right ear is clogged and I can't hear out of it. I really don't feel sick, but parts of me do. Viva Fall! My youngest came for breakfast yesterday morning (my oldest is stuck out on the road which is the fate sometimes of semi drivers) then he came over, played with Norman and then we tore down all the morning glory vines on the fence. I love those things when they are blooming, but taking down the leftovers does not bring me much joy. I told my son that maybe next spring I will try to do some population control on those things. It has gotten out of hand. One morning glory will eventually lead to total world domination by morning glories. I also had my son get on the ladder and get the camera down from the front door because the batteries were dead. I changed those, handed them back up to him, and it was done. Then we blew out the hoses and put them away for the winter. He hauled a big limb that had fallen back to the burn pile. He played with Norman again then left. I am blessed to have help from my boys. Speaking of my boys... Friday I was in the house working away when I heard the sounds of a lawn mower and a leaf blower. (Plus Norman started barking like it was the end of the world, so that was a dead give away, too.) I looked out and Ron and Justin were doing my leaves. At first I was mad because my youngest and I were going to do that on Saturday and I felt totally incompetent as a human. It took me a few minutes to calm down and understand that they were helping out an old widow next door from the kindness of their hearts. I accepted this and after work I baked them cookies. When someone does you a favor and won't take money for said favor, you bake them cookies. Norm has switched up his eating pattern in the last few weeks. He won't eat breakfast. He will eat around noon, then again he's starving by 4:30, and he gets very hangry around 8 p.m. Ever since his puppy days, if he is hungry, he acts possessed by the Devil - it's a dead give away he's hungry by his actions. He will be four in January - so I assume this sort of thing does happen. Last week at work the 'kids' sure gave me plenty of things to do. Many mysteries to figure out. I like those kind of weeks that just fly by like that. I like the investigating issues and finding the problem...it's like data CSI. I don't want them to do that all the time, but when they do it - I seem to thrive on the investigation part. My daughter called me yesterday afternoon and said she was on her way to the ER. She was crying She had blood work done on Thursday and her primary OBY saw it on Saturday (the doc had some time off so just saw it Saturday morning) and she was very concerned about the liver enzyme levels being too high, so she told her to go to ER and the doc would get a hold of another doctor there she knew and trusted and make sure all was well. We sent text to each other the whole time she was there. I tried hard to make her laugh. Apparently Grogu knew Mom was upset, so he was kicking her to beat the band. Everything was fine with the baby, and they decided they didn't know what to do about the liver enzymes at this point. They did state that they were sure she was not in preeclampsia mode and sent her home. I looked up high liver enzymes in the last trimester of a pregnancy: "AFLP, the HELLP syndrome (hemolysis, elevated liver enzyme levels, low platelet count), eclampsia, and preeclampsia occur during the third trimester..." Then I researched all of those. The internet is a wonderful thing to find answers, but over researching can make your head explode. Ignorance can be bliss sometimes. I was ready to pack and drive over there if I had to. I would have had to force my youngest to watch Norman, but I was ready to deploy. Her husband is in New York this weekend for a family wedding, so I am the closest in case. November 13, 2023 - Ah, Monday is over. Good. The day went fast, though! Before Norm ate just a bit ago, and because he was being a turd head and not eating on schedule, I let him out. There were deer in the front yard. He hates deer. They are his nemesis. (Unless he is thinking they are 'his people' because he is almost their size...) Anyway - he's barking his full head off at them. They stood there for a bit as cars went by before running across the road in front of a large SUV. Ugh. It got one of them (out of four) and it made me sad. It is almost dark out and I could barely see it being flung in to the field across the road, but I could tell that is what happened. The people didn't stop, just kept driving. They will have a nice dent or two. Norm HAS to go out to potty and this place is FILLED WITH MASS AMOUNTS OF DEER. I am not sure how to prevent this in the future. It was a fun weekend. My boys came over for breakfast on Saturday morning and I made us all chicken and waffles as test run two. They enjoyed them. We decided a few drops of vanilla in the fluffy waffle batter would be grand. My youngest said to make the waffles first and keep they hot in a warm oven, and THEN make the chicken as the fried chicken fingers were not hot enough in his opinion (he explained this to me with a mouthful of food, mind you). Next time we have these will be for Christmas 'brunch' when all the kids will here. Dear Lord...the mess I made when cooking for just us three - I think I'll make the kids clean up after the next one! (Standard comment from the kids, "The kitchens a mess! It must be good!!") Sunday my sister in law came up for lunch and I made us goulash and biscuits to put butter and honey on for 'dessert' and it was pretty good. I can't taste much, but I could tell it was pretty good goulash.I had it for supper last night, too, and again tonight. The rest I froze for my son. Enough goulash for a bit.... My daughter's doctor set up a visit with a GI and she went to see him last week. He ordered comprehensive blood tests after reviewing her other tests. He said all he could imagine was that it might be an autoimmune disease like hepatitis. She also has to have a special sonogram of her liver and bile duct area. (Seeing as this is what her Dad died from - liver cancer - it is better to be safe than sorry.Hepatitis can be genetic...Maybe that was my husband's issue, too?) She tested abnormal for the indicator of an Anti Smooth Muscle Antibody - which normally means hepatitis. Poor kid. This baby has sure flipped a lot of switches in her poor body!! I've suggested 'one and done' when it comes to kids. Before tonight's deer explosion, I was going to spew forth love for where I live. The wildlife is abundant (and now some are airborne) and it's quiet but near things. I love it here. I love the tons of different kind of birds. You can see stars at night (if it isn't cloudy) and it's just a nice place. For now. No doubt as my little Burg grows, it will start spreading out this way...but for now - I just love it here. Norman helped me wrap Christmas presents the other night. (Translation: He drooled all over the wrapping paper and goo-ed up the presents and ended up running off with the cardboard tube inside the wrapping paper.) Sigh. I think I will switch to water proof gift bags going forward... I went to FastCare on Friday morning. My ears have been 'plugged' up and hurting for two weeks - so I decided it was time to go. The attending doctor said I had bulging ear drums, which made me laugh. (If I belonged to a Tribe, that could be my tribal name...) He prescribed me steroids to reduce the swelling hoping they may drain and antibiotics. When I got home, I felt better knowing I had been justified in feeling bad. (Humans, go figure.) November 18, 2023 - I have been so spazzy for a few days now, riding a mental high that has me feeling like running in circles. My daughter got the OK to come home next weekend. I worried about her - with her issues, but the GI doc and her OBY said it was a go. YAY. All her numbers are OK per her GI doc and if they remain high after the baby, they will address it. This made me thrilled I will have all the chicks home. Maybe excessive amounts of coffee are to blame as well. All I know is I've been a SPAZ. Sigh. This morning the boys meet me for breakfast, then they come to hang out with Norman for a while. (Bless them.) I have to calm down and organize myself for meal prep next Friday for Thanksgiving. A few days ago I moved Norman's crate (which is half the size of my little living room) to clean. Good Lord! So Much Hair! Then I decided I would finally take out all the wires that used to be connected to speakers my husband had running all over along that wall, and that was a chore. It was like the more I did, the more I had to do. I finally gave up after about an hour and half when my sister in law called. There is no way this old house will ever look 'good' but I am happy I have a house and the slobber that covers all the walls and ceiling can be painted over and I can always get new carpet after Norman departs this world. Til then, what you see is what you get and it's OK by me. Later in the day....The boys met me for breakfast at our favorite diner, then came over here to play with Norman. After Norman was worn out (which he wasn't, really, and harassed us the whole time) the boys put up my Christmas lights. This pleased me. We took down the pumpkins and put up my new snowflakes. I am having them come on from the timer tonight to test, then I'll keep them off til Thanksgiving day. Contented sigh. Last week I gave my oldest niece a lecture on life and getting older and carrying on. We have to left foot, right foot it even if we don't have the gumption to do so. Turns out I was lecturing myself, not her. Sigh. Since then I've made a concerted effort to step up my own game. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I have started to do one thing in each room whenever I go in to said room. It has helped me out a lot!! Now I can't sit on my fat butt at night and be sad because the laundry needs folding or the dishes need washing... Now those things are done before evening time and I can actually do 'extra' stuff. Today I took stuff out of one of my dresser drawers because the bottom of the drawer was falling apart. First I sorted the stuff out (turns out I have more batteries than I thought) and then I glued the drawer. We'll see if it stays put now. I also filled two gaping holes that Norm dug for me. Sigh. I logged in to work and did my Saturday stuff. I walked past a piece of little wood fencing that fell in the dog pen when we tore up the morning glories and that has been laying there for quite a while. I stopped and stared at it and finally made a loud "ugh" sound and bent over to pick it up. Progress for me. Left Foot, Right Foot. There was a night last week where I made myself popcorn for an after supper snack. I reached in to the cabinet where I keep popcorn and grabbed a bag, unwrapped it and popped it in the microwave. After about two minutes the lights of the microwave were phasing and there was a FIRE in there! I threw open the door and saw something burning in the corner, so I grabbed tongs and tossed it in the sink and put water on it. WHAT THE HELL? My first and actually only thought was I had nuked a baby mouse that was stuck to the bag. (Remember, I had unwrapped that package and there were no mice in site...) By the time it cooled down where I could touch it - it was a brown circle of hollow crispiness. I tossed it in the garbage then tore apart that cupboard, cleaned it, washed all the pans in there, swept it out. I saw no mouse droppings. As I was putting stuff away again, it dawned on me that I had heated up leftover hamburger in there in the morning to mix in with Norman's breakfast and apparently a large chuck and blown off the plate and hid in the corner. Duh! Not a mouse - a cow. Seriously - that thing was blazing!!! (It was a higher fat content hamburger from my unintentional scientific test...) The military is missing a viable weapon - dropping blazing cows on the enemy. Thursday night I was cold so I got a blanket out and had it over me when I was in my chair. When I went to bed I wadded it up and put it on the back of my chair. I spent Friday coming out of the bathroom and jumping because I swear there was a cat on the back of my chair! This happened several times before I decided that blanket (now Norman-ized) had to go in the washer. I DON'T HAVE A CAT ANYMORE. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!?!? Oh, and I had let Norman out in the pen at dusk and he went nuts. There were deer out front near the road. (Norman will see deer when he's wandering free, either in the field across the road or way back on the property, and be on high alert, but he doesn't go complete stupid until he's safe in the pen, then he barks and jumps and leaps and barks....Deer, when he is safe, are his nemesis. I am not sure if he thinks they are 'his tribe' since he's about as big as they are or what?) I was trying to hush him, because cars were going by and it was almost dark and I didn't want the deer to run in front of a car. Norm would not shut up and the deer finally ran RIGHT IN FRONT of a large SUV. I could hear the THWACK and see one them airborne and flipping. The SUV did not stop. Apparently they were not going to stop with an old lady in a tie dyed nightgown staring over a fence with a huge dog, or they had done it so many times it was old news. "Whoops, another ding..." It's that time of year where deer are EVERYWHERE. Maybe that is the exactly why they got such a big vehicle. I was upset, but there were no dead dear within eye sight the next morning. Hopefully it was OK to run off with just a headache or hip ache. My life seems boring, but when I type out all the little things, it's not too boring. Exploding hamburger - Airborne deer - ankle turning gaping holes... November 27, 2023 - Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Apparently it is winter out. Michigan - go figure. I am glad I got the light in the fixture in the pump house going! Hmmmmmmm, where to start? Wednesday evening I made up meatballs - I baked them - for BBQ meatballs for the upcoming Saturday festivities. I put them on parchment paper but I didn't trim the paper. The parchment paper caught on fire. Hahahaha. All the smoke alarms in the house went off. Norman was running in circles, confused. I laughed. (Of course, I put out the fire, first). Thursday my Chicago kids came in and came over, and the boys met them here. I made chicken and waffles for their supper. I did good. I thought the waffles came out exceptionally nummy good. I kept them warm in the oven while I fried the chicken fingers. I used honey cornflakes, flour, and spices to coat them with. I flour them first, dip them in the buttermilk, and then shove 'em in the coating. Those were good too! We had a hoot that night. So much laughter. Friday was our Thanksgiving. I was doing pre-baking some things before people got here. When I did the cheese biscuits that have to bake at 425 degrees, all the smoke alarms were going off and Norman was running in circles. "But I didn't use parchment paper!!" I exclaimed, as I pulled the biscuits out of the oven. Hahahaha - all the way in the back was a rogue waffle. It had baked to charcoal. Sigh. I'm an insurance risk... My sister in law came and brought the green bean casserole. My daughter and son in law provided the meat - they brought a fully cooked turkey and honey ham from Heavenly Ham. I just had to heat them up! That was very good turkey, I must say! So we had turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, deviled eggs, cheese biscuits and various other things. I had made cookies and brownies for dessert. My youngest niece came and my son in law's brother. IT WAS A FULL LITTLE LIVING ROOM. I had made the boys take down Norman's crate on Thursday night so we'd have room. Much laughter ensued. What fun!! No one left hungry! I had the boys put the crate back up before they left Friday night. It took four men to figure it out, but by golly, they finally got it. I kicked every one by 6:30 because I had secret plans. Smile. Back in October when we had out family bonfire night and we were planning all of this - my son in law joked, "And I want all the Thanksgiving stuff down and Christmas up when we come on Saturday!" He was joking, but I wanted to make it happen. So from 7 - 10 pm, I put away Thanksgiving and put up Christmas!! I needed the crate back up and covered it with a Christmas table cloth. That is where I put present. I put up my snowmen, my Santa collection, and my tree collection. I was POOPED OUT. Saturday I got up and started prep for Christmas. Then I went in to meet the kids for breakfast at our favorite diner, and we all came back here. My daughter was surprised/thrilled it was decorated for Christmas. In the afternoon my niece came back here and GOODNESS SAKES - did we laugh. We played a bunch of games and snacked and laughed and laughed. Thank goodness for Poise pads and I swear the baby dropped two inches from my daughter laughing so hard. Sunday I was grateful for a down day. I took two naps. Norman was even tired. I did catch up on dishes that were left from Saturday night, and I did do some laundry, but most of the day was spend dozing in my lazyboy chair. I also had today off. I still did some work stuff early this morning so my back up didn't have to do it. Then I packed Norman up his crate and headed to see if I could find someone to wash and blow dry my hair. I did! It was SO relaxing. Then I did grocery shopping. I decided on the way back that I was going to my Ford dealership to ask questions about my battery issue. (For a while now it won't let me use remote start and every time I turn the car off it says it is shutting everything down to conserve the battery. COME ON - IT'S A FRICKEN NEW CAR!! My two other Escapes did NOT ever do that.) Once I got to the dealership, I got out of the car and promptly found the slipperiest spot on the curb and proceeded to slip and fall and ended up lobbing my purse a ways off and when I attempted to get up, I slipped again!! I am so old that I didn't care that I was doing this in front of a glass faced building full of salesmen. Sigh. They ran out to help me up and they were worried if I was ok or not and one of them went and got salt and salted the spot I had found. (The only spot they had not sprinkled salt on) and after the whole 'are you ok' was over, I showed my sales guy the messages I was getting from my car. He ran off with my phone to ask someone about it, and came back and said, "Your battery needs checking!" There were no openings for an appointment til next week, but I'm pretty sure my escapade out front prompted them to fit me in...they said it would take about an hour to test the battery. (It has to be on a special machine that goes through every point and aspect of the battery.) Two hours later it was still analyzing, so they brought me home. They knew by then it was a bad battery, but they couldn't replace the battery for free under warranty until that thing spit out a report that said THE BATTERY TEST FAILED. Ugh. I came home and decided to work a bit, and was kind of sorry I did because things were broken and I had to work/work. Finally by 5 someone from Ford came and got me to take me back to get Elmo. New battery - value of 320 dollars. All for free. Ford gave me a bad battery. Seems like lately my Ford's have been having one thing after another wrong with them. Ugh. I am loyal, though. I will keep the faith, but the streak of faulty things on the new cars is BAD. So that was my exciting last few days. Back to work tomorrow. Hopefully I will remain upright and not set anything on fire.... December 2, 2023 - I have an inflatable snowman out front with cute penguins hugging him. Norman does not like said snowman. He pees on it every chance he gets, which inspires Steve the Dog to pee on it every time he gets a chance...which boils down to the fact that SNOWMAN DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE.... It is December already! Ugh. We had two days of snow, then it got sunny and warm, now it's raining. I live in Michigan, so you can have all four seasons in one week. I think it is required by law, to be honest. My normal plow company people retired, so I am going to be relying on a 'new guy' that I found locally on Facebook. I've yet to meet him. I bought my own 'orange poles' to mark where I wanted him to plow. I made him send me a valid 'quote' when I first found him. I don't like the fact he doesn't have firm rules, like "It has to snow at least two inches" or the like. Cross your fingers he really exists. December 8, 2023 - Timothée Chalamet is in the newer Blue Chanel fragrance commercials. Basically he's being paid to look at the camera all cute like. We should all be so lucky to get a gig like that... Speaking of commercials, I have the TV on for 'white noise' when I'm working in the afternoon from home. Lately any channel I have it tuned to has so many commercials directed at people who have Medicare and they practically scream at those people about getting Part C and D gap coverage. Some are legit, good commercials (like Humana or AARP). Some are just scare tactics to get older people to call a number (they don't even say WHO they are/what insurance carrier is offering this) so I don't trust those. Those commercials are poorly done. They make me mad. So many stupid commercials preying on poor people or older people. Then there are the stupid Car Shield commercials. UGH! If you research Car Shield, you will find they have so many complaints against them that there isn't a score low enough to describe them. DO YOUR RESEARCH, PEOPLE!! I drive to Chicago next week to be there when my Grandbaby is born. I kind of can't wait, but I also don't want to get all excited too soon. Once my daughter survives the C Section and the baby comes out screaming and healthy, I will get excited. She's had a hard time with this pregnancy. I will wait to go nuts until it's OK to go nuts. I am ready, though, to go nuts at a drop of a hat. Every Friday this month at work it's "wear Christmas stuff" and I had to get myself some new Christmas stuff when I realized I only had one Christmas shirt. Today I will wear a cute snowman sweater. Next Friday is Ugly Sweater Day, and I didn't have one, so I got one that has the weirdest cat with a Christmas tree on it's head. That works for me. My boys are going to my little Burg's Christmas parade with me tomorrow night. We'll go to eat, then meander around town and watch the parade. Pretty daring of me to be out past dark when I can't see to drive....hahahahaha December 14, 2023 - The parade was fun last Saturday. I am glad we went! The announcer was asking people to 'move back' to the sidewalk because they had 11 new floats - but it was 11 new emergency vehicles. Hahaha - I don't consider them a 'float'... Well, I'm officially a Grandma. I drove to Chicago on Monday to the kid's apartment. I timed it good - hardly any traffic. It was fun to hang out with them. My son in law's parents came, too - and we all went to the Christkindlmarket Wrigleyville (where cocoa was 12 dollars a cup) and we walked around. Lots n lots of vendors there - "German" type foods, etc. Then we went out to eat. It was just fun to hang out. My daughter's last 'free' night before the C-Section on Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning the kids had to be at the hospital by 7:30, so I stayed at the apartment to feed the dogs and give Zora her insulin after she ate. Surgery was at 9:30. Finally we got a text stating that "Mom and Baby are both safe and healthy" about 11:30-ish. My son in law also sent a picture. I started crying. Then I had a bout of explosive diarrhea. Hahahaha - I had squelched my emotions for SO LONG to be 'stable' for my daughter (she can react to my reactions, so I wanted to play it cool) that when I finally got the news, I literally exploded. Sigh. Once I stopped "exploding" I took a shower and went up to the hospital. When I got there to check in to go see her, I was so excited I was blurting to the dude, "I'm finally a Grandma and I cried so hard and I had explosive diarrhea and..." and he laughed so so loud. "Honey - TMI!" he laughed. (He definitely remembered me the next day!!) Since the kids do NOT want to post pictures on the internet in any way, nor give out information, I can't even type his name here or post a picture. I can, however, share pics with my BFFs and family/friends via text. Seriously, that baby is a doll/angel. I will call him Iggy. Iggy was damned cute. When I first held him, I could tell he looked just like my husband's side of the family. By Wednesday, his face sort of spread out more and he looked like a good mix of his mommy and daddy. It doesn't matter WHO he looks like - HE IS FRICKEN ADORABLE. He latched right on my daughter for breast feeding. My son in law is a champ already at changing poopie diapers. My daughter was able to get out bed yesterday and take a shower and go for a walk. She did well during the C-Section, but it did make her nauseated from, the drugs. The only time she didn't feel like puking was when she was holding Iggy. They are all so cute together. When I got home from the hospital on Tuesday to their apartment, I tripped in the parking lot over a huge cement thing that helps separate parking spots. I totally didn't see it because I totally wasn't watching what I was doing. Down I went. (I just fell a couple of weeks ago at the Ford dealership! I'm on a roll...) I went down in sort of a downward dog position. The asphalt was rough. My knees took the brunt of the fall, and are bruised/bleeding/scrapped up good. OUCH. My palms are not cut, but they are now bruising. CRIPES. As my neighbor said, "You have to start paying more attention (with an implied 'because you are old now'). Today my hands hurt and my knees really hurt. I took my pants off immediately when I got home from work because they hurt so much. I will call my chiropractor tomorrow to ask for his next opening because I am sure I moved every bone out of place in my entire body. Pretty soon I'm going to have to install curb feelers on me and use a damned walker. Ouch. Just OUCH. My youngest son took care of Norman while I was away. On the way home I was SO TIRED I called him about an hour out and pleaded with him to 'wear out Norman' for me, so when I got home I could soak in a hot bath and go to bed. That is exactly what I did. I slept hard. Norman did too. There is no place like home, but my knees hurt too much to click my heels together.... December 20, 2023 - My son's gave me a nice lecture over the weekend on 'being aware of my surroundings' and 'maybe do some limbering up stretches' to help prevent future falls. It was adorable. The compassion in my younger son's face was just overwhelming. (But it just dawned on me that if I really hurt myself badly, he'd be the one stuck with taking care of me.....) Smile. My knees are slowly healing, but still hurt - the 'rug burn' is getting better, but OUCH, just OUCH. Norman hit me head on in the worst knee and I cried a little. Ugh. I have been to the chiropractor twice since I got home because a big woman like me hitting a parking lot with that force - well, things get misaligned. I had numb arms until I saw the Chiro. Bless his profession. My daughter has been sending me a constant stream of adorable pictures. He has been getting better at sleeping at night, thank goodness for them! My daughter sent me a picture of her with the baby and that poor girl looked SO TIRED!! I survived three kids, so I know she will survive, but the Mom in me says, "Poor baby girl!" At least she's able to breast feed - her milk came in and Irving seems very happy about the new, more increased flow of food. (Yes, his name is Irving. I can't post pics of him, but I can use his real name.) He's already a week and a day old. People ask me all the time if I am going there this weekend for Christmas. I just went there - and that is a big deal for me when I hate Chicago driving. I will give it a few weeks... I can't sweep in there and make things better - this is their family and their time to learn. Life has begun all over for them. Norman isn't a fan of very cold weather and snow on the ground, so the last two days he's been cooped up and going slightly nuts. I've tried to play ball with him, but he hates that the ball is COLD and snow covered, and will NOT pick it up and just stand there and bark at the ball and me. Sigh.Today when I hauled the herby to the curby, he had a zoomie all around the front yard. It kind of scared me that he might run in the road, but he stayed away from the road and just spazzed out all over the front. This is a good thing. He's happily sleeping on the couch at this moment. December 23, 2023 - Merry Christmas Eve Eve... I splurged and got myself the housecoat I've always wanted - a big fuzzy oversized thing. It's the kind of housecoat I'd picture bringing comfort to a human when they had the flu. It's like a bear hugging me. I am not sure why I waited to get something like this for myself all these years, but I've wanted one like this since high school. This morning when I let Norman out in the dog pen, I went out with him. While he sniffed around for the perfect pee spot to bless with his urine, I was out there stretching (since my arms still will 'fall asleep' from that fall) and it didn't dawn on me until I was in the house that my neighbors could have seen me doing this odd ritual outside or passing cars, and I am grateful the police have not shown up asking about a fat woman being mauled by a bear... I have been thinking back to my days 'at home' - the first 18 yeas of my life - and the most common saying out of my Mom's mouth was, "Sandy, don't be so whammy bammy!" Apparently my tendency to go at life with gusto has been an issue for decades. When I was at my daughter's house before the baby was born, we were all cleaning up things and my daughter would say periodically, "Gentle, Mom - GENTLE" which is a nicer way of saying "don't be so whammy bammy' so I see my tendency to just DO STUFF with gusto is still intact. I don't mean to do that - it just happens. I will admit my gusto type behavior was very helpful for all the years I was in shipping and receiving. That was hard, heavy work. So it was not totally wasted... I was reminded about being 'gentle' this morning when I was fixing Norman's breakfast, mixing in the chicken with the wet food and the kibble - kibble ended up flying all over. Sigh. Changing a behavior that has been inside of me for 60+ years is hard. This is why I can't have nice things. Smile. My daughter sends a picture of my grandson every day. He is such a cutie. He's still tinted a bit in jaundiced orange color, but the pediatrician says this will go away soon. The 'orange' goes away from the feet up, she said. My daughter confirmed Irving's bottom half is normal/white, so it is clearing up. I thought he had a tint of orange to him, but I also remember from my child bearing days that this is not uncommon for babies and it set off no alarms in my mind. She was telling me about his per-nursing face he makes - when he knows he's getting "the boob" and he will smile. They sent me a pic of that last night. Hahahaha. The boy knows when it is feeding time and expresses his joy with his face. I had dinner with my high school girlfriends on Wednesday night. I am blessed to have so many core friends like them. If my BFF lived up here, she would be in that group. It is a comforting group. Many memories from decades of life knowing each other. We used to talk about kids and and work and such, now we talk about what body part has quit working or fallen off or the like. Hahahhaa. I hit my knee on my shopping cart last night at the local grocery store. I wanted to cry. My left knee is the most 'burned' from that fall in Chicago, and it reminds me of this constantly. I didn't realize how much I used my knees in daily life. (Getting in to bed, getting off of the floor, moving in general..) I came home from shopping and doctored her up good. My right knee is healing faster, but it wasn't the first to the ground during the fall. That was the side I caught the cement barrier with so it took a while for it to catch up on the wipe out. December 30, 2023 - Holy Crap - a whole year has zoomed by... Thursday night after work I changed my bedding. I have a king sized Sleep Number bed. I do enjoy that bed. It sleeps well and Norman seems to like it, too. Thursday night I didn't want to go to bed at the normal time, so I let Norm in the bedroom to go to bed while I stayed up a while. Norm went in and came out several times and ended up sleeping on the couch. I accused him of being a big baby for not being able to go to bed "without Mommy..." I ended up sleeping in my chair until 2:30 a.m. when he got me up to go potty. Then I went to bed and called him up. He jumped up on the bed, I left him under his cover. He stayed for a second, and got back down. We went through this several times until it dawned on me that something was wrong. I got out of bed, turned on the light, and Norman's side was deflated! When making the bed, I had unhooked the air hose to that side. I grabbed a flash light to see under there so I would know where to hook up the hose. I would have liked to get down on my knees to do this, but my knees are still very sore from the fall. I wrangled it all finally and got it hooked back up. Then I went and got the controller so I could re-inflate it. The batteries on the controller were dead. Had to change those. Once I retaught myself how to use the thing, it took 10 minutes for the bed to inflate. Norman stood there watching all of this patiently. FINALLY we were in bed by 3:35 a.m. My life is so so exciting. I DO have a night life, apparently... I thought I saw a man walking along the tree line in the trees way back . "What's he doing?" I asked Norman, who was no help whatsoever and had no opinion. I ran in and got my binoculars. Turns out it was an old bunch of leaves in my neighbors lilac tree out front moving in the breeze. Duh. December 31, 2023 - I was too lazy/tired to finish the blog post last night, so I will this morning. Lucky you!! When I went to the store and as I was standing in the check out line, I started to pull out my wallet and flung a quarter at the man standing in line behind me. He picked it up and handed it back and I said, "You know, in my country, flinging quarters at strangers is a New Year tradition..." We all laughed. Then the check out lady dropped the chicken she was attempting to bag for me and it bounded off the counter part and flew into the intended bag. "Self bagging..." she mumbled. I then dropped my key ring I was fishing out of my purse with the loyalty rewards card for that store, and dropped them. When it came time to pay, I dropped my walled, which was wide open, and EVERYTHING in it went flying. I grabbed the cash and such and the guy behind me picked up the change. As I was shoving everything back into my purse I told him, "In my country, flinging loose change a second time means we're married..." Again we laughed but I was ever so glad to leave that place. Sigh. On the way out I told the manager I saw, "You should move that one checker - that lane has a gravity vortex issue..." One good thing came out of that grocery trip. A kid (who was coughing like a Typhoid Mary and I'm convinced I will be sick by next Friday due to his snot expulsion ) was telling his Mom he wanted chocolate milk. I looked at him and said, "You are a genius" (not merely a spreader of cooties) and I got some milk and went and found a jar of Ovaltine. I have not had that in FOREVER. I sit here with a glass of Ovaltine as I type... On Friday I cut two Purchase Orders amounting to 4 million dollars for our upcoming upgrade. Sigh. I am not ready for this. I've waited SO LONG for this, and now I feel too old and tired to pull this off. I had told my boss that I wasn't going to be the project leader - no way no how. "Had we done this the first two tries, yes - not now." They are just going to have to hire someone to be the project leader. That is all there is to it. Next year should be VERY interesting (which, in my country, means it will be a cluster duck on acid rodeo from hell.) Wish us luck... I decided I can't worry about this as a 'whole' project. I will take each day as it comes and do my best. I am not, however, going to worry myself to death or panic. Left foot Right foot. My last implementation was back in 1994 - 1995. Management did NOT support us. They demoted my boss at the time and told her she failed. She didn't fail - THEY DID. No support or follow through. Not this time. Management has to be all in or I'm walking... I have three fillings on Thursday. I will have to take my 'don't bite the dentist' anti panic meds. Two small 'fixes' and then they found a cavity under one of my fillings. That will take longer. I hate the dentist. I panic when I can't swallow when I want to or I can't close my mouth when I want to...I have cancelled that appointment several times. Time to get it over with. Be brave! Suck it up! Take my drugs!! On that happy note, I wish us all a stable 2024. I hope we survive. I hope we can find joy. I hope we laugh often. I hope we don't trip over things and break bones. I wish us all love. |
Two nights
ago I went out to play
with Norman, but while we
were still in the pen he
spotted two baby raccoons
sauntering through the
front yard. They were
scared of his barking, so
they hunkered down behind
a flower bed I have. (If
they can't see you,
apparently they are safe.)
While Norman tore up my
morning glories being all
excited and stuff, I went
out and snapped a picture.
They are adorable. I am
not fond of them in my
yard since they tend to be
a nuisance kind of
critter, but LOOK AT THAT
FACE. Sigh. I texted my
neighbor to tell him NOT
to let the dogs out.